26 Things to Dip Your Chips In, You Wild Animal You

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re trying out where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and next week we’ll check in and talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we ate quinoa.

hansen and rachel

Even on a good day, I’m a lazy vegan whose diet is about 80% tortilla chips. But when you combine a heat wave with the week after A-Camp, I’m rendered literally incapable of cooking. What even is cooking? How does it work? You heat something, and then what? Nope, too hard. Really the only food I feel confident about being able to pull together and consume is some sort of thing I can put into a bowl and mindlessly dip chips into while I relive photos of animal onesies and flower crowns on the mountain. Ah, yes. That’s better. Here, there’s some room on the couch next to me, grab a seat. If you wanted to, I suppose these dips could be made for some sort of social gathering that includes other people, but there’s no need to go overboard.

1. Spicy Balsamic Vinegar Salsa

2. Vegan Cheese

3. Cheesy Corn Dip

4. Guacamole Dip

In what way is this related to guacamole? Does it taste like guacamole at all? Is it at all like the time I went to buy regular Tofutti Sour Cream and bought “guacamole” spiced fake sour cream instead? Only one way to find out, I guess.

5. Beer-Battered Jalapeños with Chipotle Ranch Dipping Sauce

6. Blue Cheese Buffalo Chicken Dip

I first discovered the existence of this food item a few years ago through my brother’s college roommate, who went through a phase of eating this and nothing else for weeks. I can’t say I support that as a lifestyle, but it did seem like it was probably a pretty good dip.

7. Healthy Green Goddess Dip

8. Strawberry Mango Salsa

9. Chipotle Corn and Black Bean Guacamole

10. Greek Yogurt Feta Dip

11. Baked White Bean and Artichoke Dip

12. Pan-Fried Onion Dip

13. Spanish Eggplant and Bell Pepper Dip

14. Smoky Southwest Cheese Dip

15. Spinach and Crab Dip

16. Hot & Creamy Cauliflower Dip

17. Pimento Cheese

18. Cooker Cheesy Corn, Bacon, and Jalapeño Dip

19. Smoky Black Bean Dip

20. Caramelized Onion Bacon Dip

21. Vegan Eggplant Dip

If you click through on this, you will see that it is labeled as “vegan queso.” Let me be frank with you, dear reader: this is not queso. Even in the realm of vegan quesos, which is a lawless Wild Wild West of its own, this is not queso, and there are few things more damaging to vegan cuisine than people who claim that things will taste “just like” their non-vegan counterpart when they know damn well that is a lie. I have made this and it does not taste like queso, but it does taste like eggplants and spices and is a pretty good thing to dip some chips into. Go forth with your eyes wide open.

22. Oven Roasted Tomato Salsa

23. Sun Dried Tomato Hummus

24. Baba Ghanoush

25. Kathirikkai Thogayal

I want to try this SO BADLY I am upset that I’m not eating it right now even though it’s 11 pm and I just ate like four tacos. I would ignore all that if I got to eat this delicious-looking spiced eggplant situation.

26. Roasted Tomatillo Salsa

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Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i want all of them! (excluding any of the meat based situations!!!) AAAGGGHH DiiIiP!!!

  2. I legit read number 23 as ‘Sun Dried Tomato Humans’ and did a massive double-take :’)

    These look amazing though. Nomzzz.

  3. Hello Rachel,

    thank you for using my Guacamole Dip recipe in you article! All the dips look amazing, can’t wait to try some of them out, especially the Caramelized Onion Bacon Dip, or Spinach and Crab Dip – YUM! :)

    Keep on the good work;)

  4. The vegan cheese dip looks/sounds too good to be true, but I think I will have to try it!

  5. My brother actually made that chicken thing for some holiday or something a few years ago and it was INSANE but pretty tasty.

  6. The absence of salsa hauncaína leads me to believe you have never heard of salsa hauncaína.
    Now that you’ve heard of it, go forth and be amazed by perfection.

  7. Trader Joe’s sells guacamole hummus, which has been approximately 50 percent of my diet since my sister introduced me to it.

  8. so. much. goodness.

    one of my favorite salsas/amalgamations of lovin is comprised of:
    -red bell pepper
    -white onion
    -lime juice

    goes especially well with those garden of eatin spicy blue corn chips <3

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