Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron Glavin, Anna Bongiovanni, Megan Praz and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Anna!
Hoo boy, this is… resonating with me right now.
I was at a local Queer Event last night, and there were definitely a lot of people there in full Queer Regalia. I’m old enough that I very happily dress how I feel like dressing, and it’s not in a way that reliably signals queerness, and I’m usually quite confident about that because I don’t need to “prove” my queerness to anyone, but… man there were a lot of people there last night who were definitely being all Mean-Girls-you-can’t-sit-with-us, and I was kind of sad and second-guessing everything from my fashion choices to whether I was Queer Enough To Be Here. It sucked. And I guess there will always be people who, accidentally (because they are enthusiastic about it, like Andy) or deliberately (because they are jerks), make people feel they aren’t Queer Enough because of how they present…..
But then I managed to find a whole bunch of awesome inclusive friendly people, spent the rest of the evening hanging out with them and even got invited to a Queer Thing next weekend, so I felt much better about everything after that.
ANYWAY, this was awesome, and I always love Anna’s comics SO MUCH, and I would actually be able to totally rock a Lesbian 90s Floral Witch Party look. Am I the only one who read that and immediately started mentally planning their outfit…?
Ugh, yesss. This anxiety stopped me coming out for about a year. The queer girls I hung around made it seem like a club I wasn’t cool enough to join–I didn’t own stripes or plaid, I hadn’t listened to the right music or seen the right fims, and I hated the L Word… I didn’t feel like there was any space for my bookish, introverted queerness to exist. I wish I could go back in time and show this comic to baby-me :)
I! am SUCH! a Taylor!!!!
Hahaha! So is my wife. She us
Oops…I meant my wife IS so on board the 9pm time for bed train.
We’ve had so many “Do you mind that I’m dressed weird?” “Do you mind that I’m dressed normal?” back and forths. The answer is always “No!!!!! It’s you ~ I love seeing you being you!”.
This is adorable.
Last week I bought a vintage 90s floral crop top with no sleeves and a hood and it is PERFECT and exactly what I’d wear to this party + a lot of glitter.
It is probably exactly what I’d wear to any other party too because it’s what I feel comfortable in. While my queerness is something that might make other people uncomfortable, embracing the full embodiment of my queerness is what makes me feel comfortable. I’m a soft and comfy queer, and that’s just one of the myriad ways queerness can be expressed, and that’s why I find authentic queer expression to be so goddamn beautiful.
Diversity >>>> homogeneity
(Clarification: I’m using “>” to represent “greater than”, not “leads to” :))
“Soft comfy queer” is my new favorite thing.
Soft comfy queer is my ideal! Perfect for floral 90s witch party honestly!
I am Taylor. Taylor is me. Although in essence only I suppose, because I don’t have enough queer friends that make me dress radically queer, but people trying to “make me over” as more traditionally feminine has been a thing my WHOLE LIFE.
I recently went to a club in WeHo with a group of friends from work and they kept trying to tell me to wear a dress and wear lipstick and I was like “do these people know me at all????”
I’m happy to be in a place where I know I can WORK what I’ve got and the style I (sort of) have, and not be swayed to think I need to dress the way everyone tells me to so I can “be pretty” or whatever. I’m also glad I’m comfortable with myself and know myself enough to immediately shut down any suggestions that feel uncomfortable or untrue, no matter how well meaning.
My mother advised me not long ago that “you can be gay and still be pretty.” Thanks, Mom. You’re a real pal. But she genuinely doesn’t comprehend (and maybe can’t comprehend) that “pretty” is not an aesthetic to which I aspire at all. Dapper? Sure. Handsome? Great. “Swell,” as a friend called me the other day? Perfect. But I never pick out clothes thinking that I want to look pretty, ever, because that’s not what feels like me. Why it’s so hard for more traditionally gender-conforming people to understand this, I really don’t know.
That’s so awful when people try to make others look more traditionally acceptable. I find it a bit funny because I feel like I have had almost the opposite experience – while nobody has tried to make me look more masculine, I dress feminine and mostly “normal”, wear a full face of makeup every day, and I feel like I stand out in my group of friends because everyone else is more low key and/or masculine looking! People have asked me “why are you so dressed up” “do you always wear lipstick” etc and sometimes I wish it was more natural for me to look “queer” (obvs I do look queer because I am, and it’s noticeable to discerning eyes, but you know what I mean).
Queers these days dress like my mom dressed in the late 80s/early 90s. (High waisted, floral, neons, cat shirts, etc). I wonder if my mom was queer…
*actively suppressing so many “your mom” jokes*
Oh god, this. And every time I see someone wearing a floral-print something I coveted at Wet Seal in 1992 I cringe a little.
– I want the fourth to last panel as a poster.
– I want to go to a lesbian floral 90s witch party super bad.
I’d buy the shit out of that poster
I was just wearing green glitter lipstick this morning…
God, hello Gwen-who-is-also-me.
the fourth-to-last panel cracks me up ahahahah Andy’s face and words lol.
THIS IS THE REALEST THING
I’ve been feeling like a fish out of water ever since tank tops have gone out of style at lesbian parties.
Who ever thought that could happen?
Mwha ha ha new people expect me to be Taylor in any and all situations. They have no clue about my performing arts back round.
I don’t know if I want to BE Andy, be FRIENDS with Andy, or both. Probably both.
All the love for all of this <3
Thank you so much for this!
I just transferred to a new university and I’ve definitely panicked in the new spaces I’ve been in that I’m not visibly radical/subversive queer, not masc queer, not particularly femme queer, and not young enough to be excused as a baby queer, so I’ve kind of been just floating around second guessing myself.
Our differences rock and we’re all super mega babes!!! Also, I have nothing to prove and I bring so many nice things to the table! Also also I just went to a 90’s party and I went full dad: printed short sleeve button up, dad jeans + belt, cardigan
It’s weird that I don’t understand what 90s party outfits would be until I think about all the times I’ve looked at pictures of me from high school and college and go “what am I wearing?!?” I guess this is like how we had 70s themed parties. I wonder if that made my parents feel old.
I came out too late to have this particular social experience but totally had the “I want to look queer but also my age (late 30s at the time) but also professional but not too stuffy” which took a long time to figure out and required many progressively shorter hair cuts.
Archie, this is perfection. LOL I feel this with my AWESOME femme-aesthetic friends all the time.