Quiz: Which Misplaced Item in Dani Janae’s Bed Are You?

There are many things you’ll find in a femme’s bed. Especially when this femme is on meds that make her a little disorganized. Especially when that femme is a poet with a book hoarding problem, when that femme is…me.

I like to think of the bedroom as a sanctuary. It’s where I sleep, read, fuck, meditate. It also has shifted in landscape as I take on big life changes, like moving to a new city. I try and keep my bedroom as uncluttered as possible but right now it’s a den of seltzer cans and upcycled furniture.

The only way to find out what exactly is in my bed is to 1. have sex with me or 2. take this quiz. Which mystery item from my bed are you, find out now!

Who’s your favorite queer musician?(Required)
Where do you like to read?(Required)
How would you describe your style?(Required)
If there were a zombie apocalypse, who would you be?(Required)
Choose a pet:(Required)
Choose a signature item to always have on you(Required)
Choose a breakfast(Required)

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Dani Janae is a poet and writer based out of Pittsburgh, PA. When she's not writing love poems for unavailable women, she's watching horror movies, hanging with her tarantula, and eating figs. Follow Dani Janae on Twitter and on Instagram.

danijanae has written 157 articles for us.


  1. I’m a book of Diane Seuss poems

    Feeing both seen and called out by this description:

    You’re an oddball, a little strange but totally lovable. Despite your goofiness people still often come to you when they need a little life insight, some guidance, which you deliver with your characteristic humor.

  2. I am a Sharpie Pen

    I feel read:

    You think everything has its time and place, and you’re very strict about people violating that. You’re the type to shoot a warning glare when people you’re with are being inappropriate in public. You’re a corrector, which is sometimes needed, other times a pain.

  3. A suction vibrator!
    Emotional, pleasure-forward, you like things to be your way. Which isn’t always bad, you know when to surrender, and you are often right.

    I mean. Not wrong.

  4. The Dianne Seuss poems seem popular today.

    I will say that I had to choose Hayley Kiyoko on that first question because of that list she’s the only one I’ve even heard of, but I know nothing of her music.

    • True, you can’t plan a quiz for everyone. I was just amazed at how I’d never heard of any of those artists (okay, it’s been a while since I was on the hunt for new music, but still).

      • Oh! I definitely wasn’t coming at you—I think we were commenting at about the same time. I’ve done plenty of these where I didn’t have a good choice and was just excited about this one.

        I didn’t know all the musicians either :)

  5. I got a pile of clothes waiting to be donated! The description fit me to a T and all the answer options were perfect. I only ever read books when I am on the move- had a hard time choosing between bus and plane!

  6. I’m a bonnet! Cackling because I’m a PhD candidate who, in January, found a makeshift solution to my overflowing toilet while waiting for the plumber to arrive. 10/10 quiz, no notes!

  7. You are a journal full of written poems!

    You’re sensitive, very feelings forward and always wanting to “process” stuff. This can annoy lovers and friends but they know you mean well and are operating from a place of “do no harm.”

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