Queer Sex Coven: Charge Your Strap-On Dildo Under a Full Moon

Charging your crystals under the light of the full moon is a basic witch trick. However, since we’re sex-positive sorcerers, glam gay vampires, and queer conjurers, we’re going to charge our strap-on dildos to ensure that we penetrate our partners with good vibes only. There are a bunch of significant retrogrades coming up which could throw a wrench into our love and sex game. First up is Venus. The planet of the divine feminine, love, abundance, beauty, and wealth goes retrograde from May 13, 2020, to June 25, 2020. During this time, all of us, regardless of our gender, will feel romantically and sensually stifled. Then Mars, the planet of the divine masculine, action, fucking and fighting, goes retrograde from September 9, 2020, to November 13, 2020. During this time, all of us (remember that we all contain masculine and feminine) will feel like we can’t get it up. Bathing our strap-ons under the full moon helps us continue to manifest our romantic and sexy desires as these planets try and mess with us.

What is moon magick?

Moon magick is a form of sympathetic magick, which means that the natural process mirrors, or sets the stage for our magick. The black sky of the new moon is perfect for fresh starts, the waning moon for vanishing work, the waxing moon for growth and attraction. The full moon remains the OG spell casting time for maximum manifestation. Your strap-on game deserves nothing less.

The best time to cast the spell

Obviously, use the full moon.

You will need:

Your dildo and harness, rose quartz, black tourmaline, citrine, garnet (If you don’t have these exact crystals, play around with what you do have. Relax and use your queer witch intuition!) a compass (use your phone) sage

What deity should I work with?

In every single Queer Sex Coven, I name drop Venus, who is the goddess of abundance, love, and beauty. Some of us also have big Mars energy, aka big dick energy, such as Pete Davidson. There’s nothing wrong with invoking queer celebrities as deities, what else do they exist but to charge our strap-ons under a full moon? Some people with vaginas fuck like problematic Pete Davidson, and others are more intelligent and classy about it could pair some Sandra Oh worship with this spell. Of course, there is always Kristen Stewart’s unwashed hair, which is a sure sign of an approaching divine dick down.

Step-by-Step Breakdown:

1. Before you get witchy, you have to back up your spell with the practical components. Wash your dildo. If it’s premium silicone, as it should be, you can wash it by boiling it in water like spaghetti, washed with mild soap and water, or an at-home UV light cleaning systems such as the UVee . Harnesses such as the Spareparts harness are machine-washable.
2. On the night of the full moon (the next one is in meticulous Virgo on March 9, 2020) find an area of your home where there is moon light. Meditate in the light and think about your cock. What do you want it to manifest? Strap-on sex so good that she finally says I love you? Satanic orgies? Identify your intention.
3. Place your dildo and harness under the night of the full moon. Sage your sex stuff and your crystals.
4. To the East, place the citrine. Invite in intellect, success, and ambition in your sex life.
5. To the South, place the garnet. Invite in passion, strength, and self-confidence.
6. To the West, place the rose quartz. Invite in love, friendship, and compassion.
7. To the North, place the black tourmaline. Invite in protection, power, and grounding energy.
8. Leave your magickal strap-on set overnight in the light of the full moon.
9. In the morning put it on. If you’re at home or in an environment where it’s acceptable to wear strap-on dildos, put it on and channel that big witch energy. The next time you have sex, you will bring in the powers you manifested.

Sophie Saint Thomas is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn and is originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands. High Times named her one of their “100 Women in High Places” for her writing on cannabis, and Brooklyn Magazine has named her one of their "30 Under 30's" in their annual Envy List. She has been published in GQ, Playboy, VICE, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Refinery29, Complex, Harper’s Bazaar, PRIDE Magazine, SELF, and more. She currently lives in Greenpoint with her two marmalade tabby cats, Mama Cat and Major Tom Cat. She has more than one David Bowie tattoo. Follow Sophie on Twitter.

Sophie has written 14 articles for us.

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