Queer Sex Coven: A Love Healing Spell

Welcome back to our monthly coven meeting, queer witches and bitches. So, you’ve got love problems. Like Lizzo said, bling bling time to solve them, that’s the goddess in you. Couples fight! If you ever find yourself in a relationship in which there is zero drama, please run because you are dating a robot. You may be a robot yourself. That’s okay. This spell is for robots and goddesses alike to repair a relationship after a bickering match over drunken flirting, sex, Bernie or Warren, or an unintentional problematic comment. Don’t toss out something great over something dumb. Just cast a spell on it!

You will need:

A green pull-out candle (which you can buy at your local occult store or online), rose petals, honey, lavender essential oil, a knife (be careful!) or candle carving tools, sage, a pen and paper, red and pink glitter (optional), newspaper

What the hex are we doing and how does it work?

We are using candle magick to heal a relationship. With candle magick, you magickally infuse a candle with your intention. The idea is that as the candle burns, your desires are transmitted “across the veil” where the fairies, gods and goddesses, ancestors and cat spirits get to work on helping you out. Each step has a purpose (keep reading!). Even if you don’t believe in fairies or goddesses, come on, everyone believes in cat spirits. But seriously, like all spells, this is a ritual to help you work through (and then heal) your relationship.

What deity should I work with?

Venus is the goddess of love, pleasure, and abundance, and believes that you deserve all the love and sex in the world. If you’re close with a deceased ancestor, such as a grandma who would love to see you settled down in a happy relationship, feel free to call upon them for support. You also don’t need a deity at all — you are powerful enough all on your own.

When is the best time to cast the spell? Friday is fabulous because it’s the day of Venus. A new moon is also quite potent as new moons represent new beginnings and are great for spells that desire a fresh start. But honestly, if you’re fighting with bae, just go ahead and do it now, whoever said love is patient is a liar.

Step-by-step breakdown:

1. Spread out newspaper on your floor to contain the magickal mess. Set out your green pull-out candle, lavender oil, candle carving tools, rose petals, and red and pink glitter.

2. Remove the green pull-out candle from its glass shell. Different colors contain various magickal properties. Green is the color of health, healing, as well as money (can’t hurt to ask for a little cash while we’re at it). Imagine a lush green field filled with thriving plants and flowers. This is the Empress type of energy we are bringing to heal your relationship.

3. Light your bundle of sage and fan the cleansing smoke inside the glass candle holder, over the candle, the rest of your magickal tools, and especially your self. Don’t forget the bottoms of your feet!

4. Now it’s time to write your intention letter. Take a few breaths and then begin journaling about your intentions for the spell. You may write, “I am going to forgive Charlotte for leaving my party early, and I ask for help with communication during difficult emotions going forward, and also please help her realize that was kind of a dick move.” It’s okay to be a little petty — but be direct and clear.

5. Fold up your intention letter and place it on your altar or wherever you intend to burn your candle.

6. Taste a squirt of honey to make sure it’s not poisoned! Then squirt some on the bottom of the glass candle jar. This will help the spell stick, the candle literally stick, and sweeten your relationship.

7. Sprinkle a few rose petals on top of the honey in the candle jar.

8. Using your knife (be careful!) or candle carving tool, carve two overlapping hearts. Make them fairly big, because in one heart you carve your initials, and the other you carve your partner’s initials. Below each heart carve your corresponding zodiac symbols.

9. Down the middle of the newspaper, sprinkle the red and pink glitter. Red is the color of fiery, sexual passion. Pink is the sweet color of love and tenderness. And glitter makes everything better.

10. Anoint the candle in lavendar oil to calm the fight.

11. Once the candle is oily, roll it in the newspaper to coat it in the glitter.

12. Plop it in the glass candle holder. Place it on top of your intention letter and light it up.

13. Now go compassionately apologize to your partner for your role in the fight (and ideally go down on them).

14. When the candle is finished burning, the spell is complete.

Sophie Saint Thomas is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn and is originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands. High Times named her one of their “100 Women in High Places” for her writing on cannabis, and Brooklyn Magazine has named her one of their "30 Under 30's" in their annual Envy List. She has been published in GQ, Playboy, VICE, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Refinery29, Complex, Harper’s Bazaar, PRIDE Magazine, SELF, and more. She currently lives in Greenpoint with her two marmalade tabby cats, Mama Cat and Major Tom Cat. She has more than one David Bowie tattoo. Follow Sophie on Twitter.

Sophie has written 12 articles for us.

1 Comment

  1. A sharp paring knife oughta do it or good pocket knife, but if you’re in a tight spot a safety pin could do the job too.

    If sage isn’t your jam, rosemary sprigs are an old traditional one easy to get ahold of.

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