Meanwhile, Hanna visits Mona Interrupted again at the hospital. She is like sort of back to being giggly superficial Mona and sort of back to being psycho A Mona and also sort of doing her own new thing. Mona claims she’s on some new meds (Side effects include dry mouth and vaguely threatening Hanna.)
The next chunk of plotline is all about men trying to Save the Day blah blah blah.
Ella is about to get busted for helping Emily cheat and Ezra really wants to help. Even though Ella is a mom with decades of teaching experience and Ezra is like 25 and nailing a high school student, Ezra feels the need to protect and defend her. Ella is so not interested. Probably partially because of the nailing her daughter thing but you can never be too sure.Even though Ella says she’s going to tell the truth and wants Ezra the hell out of her business, he goes behind her back because of the patriarchy. Ezra goes to the principal and explains away the preferential treatment by claiming that he made Ella grade Emily’s test in front of him. Phew. There are a lot of E names here.
In other man-controlling news, Caleb really doesn’t want Hanna to go see Mona. He doesn’t think Hanna is safe or can handle it emotionally. You know how women are with feelings.
But you know, Caleb is a big strong man with Tina Fey hair so he can go visit Mona–and he does. Mona pulls her sort-of-okay-sort-of-threatening sort of crazy BS on Caleb who responds by saying, “Nener nener nener I can leave the psych ward but you can’t crazy-face.” So Mona freaks out and throws a table at Caleb. You know how crazy bitches do.
So. Um. Let’s take the creepy A plot line out of here and what you have is an 18 year old who looks about 30 telling his girlfriend where she can and can’t go and how she should and shouldn’t fulfill her own mental wellness needs. This is some Fifty Shades of Grey controlling ass shit.
Oh Lucas was visiting Mona too. Whatever.
Okay so after all that shit goes down, the liars decide to go all Dragnet and stake out Jenna at her “doctors appointment.” Which turns out to be a gun store. Oops.
And though the gun store part is never explained — because it will inevitably come back to haunt us in season four — we are taken on round three of Bitch Can See as the Liars watch Jenna drive a motherfucking car.
Yet, miraculously, instead of doing their usual duck and cover, the Liars actually go in for the WTF. Well, Hanna did getting all up on Jenna’s car.
And let me just say Hanna has never looked better. Jenna explains to the lined up Liars that she has to pretend to be blind to protect herself. Now, that’s a load of crap because we saw Jenna with Garret claiming that they were “doing this” to the Liars. Oh right and Emily just remembers Jenna’s car because she tried to give her a ride. While she was drunk. At 2am.
Jenna’s all tearful and looking skinny as all hell. Like really skinny. Girl. Eat a sandwich.
All jazzed up from making Jenna cry weakness tears, Spencer goes home to confront her mother about the criminal Garret Baby-Be-Gone situation. While Ms. Hastings admits she knew Melissa lost her baby prior to three months ago but won’t give away any other juicy details. Plus she still insists that Garret is innocent and deserves her defense. So that’s still going on.
Not jazzed up at all but looking sure cute as per ush, Emily confronts Fitziepoo about covering up Ella’s lies. “But Teacher,” she asks, “Why would you do this when I’m not the hot minor you’re banging.” Ezra doesn’t really give an answer to that because Emily reminds him that he desperately needs to find Aria and a bathroom counter. So he just leaves her with a make-up exam that is maybe or maybe not metaphorical.
Closing arguments? Mona lying in bed gripping the queen of hearts and singing to herself. I, for one, think Mona is crazy but not in the way that she’s acting.
Just crazy enough to act like she’s as crazy as she’s acting. Naimean?