PODCAST: Deanne Smith’s “Questionable At Best” Asks Carolyn About, Duh, Lesbian Sex

Carmen’s Team Pick:

deanne_wideRemember that super amazing podcast, Questionable at Best, by DeAnne Smith? I actually find myself thinking about it all the time, which works out because in the latest episode, DeAnne talks to Autostraddle’s NSFW Editor and Springsteenian-in-Residence Carolyn about the worst sex she’s ever had, her zine Lesbian Sexting, and where she goes to consume information on the Internet.

During her interview, Carolyn gave some sex toy recommendations, regaled us with tales from the crypt bedroom, and analyzed why DeAnne didn’t enjoy sex these few times. Many times, DeAnne was noticeably quiet or laughing at loud, which I think is a sign of a good fucking podcast.

“I want you to lead me through vanilla sex ramping up through some kind of kinkiness. Extreme kinkiness.”

Have you ever wanted to hear a lot of actual, real lesbian sex stories? Have you ever wondered who’s writing some of those Anonymous Sex Toy Reviews? Have you ever wondered if Saran Wrap was a suitable alternative to a dental dam? Have you ever wanted step-by-step fisting instructions? Every question you’ve ever wanted to ask and desire you’ve secretly harbored will be satiated by this interview. I guarantee it.


Okay, y’all. Put on your latex gloves and tune in.

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. I JUST listened to this & really enjoyed it!

    also, jesus, how did I not know about this ‘breaking the seal’ trick.

  2. I’ve listened to Questionable at Best based on your previous recommendation of it(it was the one with Jess Rae West queer and feminist porn producer) and really liked it. I plan to listen to this when I get a chance thank you!

  3. breaking the seal is so important! otherwise it’s like someone’s trying to vacuum out your uterus.

    HEY I LOVE THIS PODCAST SO MUCH. deanne you are a brilliant gift and your voice is like caramel. carolyn thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your vast knowledge. i’m going to start using ‘thuddy’ more often.

    • Laneia- yes. yes it is. it is the strangest sensation.

      Thusly this afternoon I was like”gf breaking the seal!!!”and she was like “but, lots of pressure, plus, holding my hand like the fingerspelling ‘n’ and not like a duck, sooooooo?” and so, I don’t know, will have to do some research this weekend and I don’t know, maybe putting her fist in my vag is like 20,000 leagues under the sea and the pressure will kill you, I have no idea.

  4. A+ ugh you’re so cute and smart, date me.

    Also I really like that you framed the “bad sex” as “incompatible and young” sex because who doesn’t have one of these stories?!

  5. I love Questionable at Best and I’m so excited to listen to this episode while I’m at work next week. I’ll be hearing all about LESBIAN SEX but my coworkers will have no idea what I’m listening to through my earbuds hahaha.

  6. As someone who hardly ever orgasms- I completely agree that really excellent sex can be had without that pressure to climax or make someone else climax. It’s really not the thing that defines good sex for me.

    Also Carolyn has the loveliest, sexiest voice ever and just knows SO much. Please impart your wisdom onto me. What a dream to listen to this two ladies chat.

  7. I finally *finally* listened to this, and Carolyn — you are so so so wonderful. I loved this so much, learned a lot, and your voice is just so — too — adorable.

    I also hope future toy reviews include a ‘thuddy-ness’ rating.

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