Playlist: My 2018 Brand Is Tumblr in 2010

[Text] 2018 Personal Brand Playlists / Autostraddle [Image] Collage of various images including feet in a blue bathtub, a girl wearing a crown over her eyes, an old vintage stamp, an instamax image of a FEMME sign, veronica from riverdale, and an illustration of a crystal.

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Toward the end of 2017, I redownloaded the tumblr app, and from there, I have experienced a swift regression. I can’t explain it! I am not ready to delve into my psyche and explore why I might be devolving into one of my past selves. I will save that introspection for, like, six months from now. For now, I’m totally willing to declare that my 2018 brand is “tumblr in 2010.” I’m fine! Everything is fine.

Tumblr in 2010 is not a time nor place. It is a feeling, an aura, a state of being. Tumblr in 2010 is going on a fanfiction bender instead of studying for finals. Tumblr in 2010 is Δ. Tumblr in 2010 is being way too emotionally vulnerable online. Tumblr in 2010 is using a weird, janky video conferencing app to talk to your internet friends around the world (RIP TokBox). Tumblr in 2010 is the apex of selfie culture. Tumblr in 2010 is spiraling over the same Christina Hendricks gif for 48 hours. Tumblr in 2010 is drinking a cappuccino at 11 p.m. and then crying about a fictional character. Tumblr in 2010 is unfiltered poetry and on-the-nose short stories and meticulously crafted photosets.

So anyway, that’s where I’m at. Not necessarily literally (although the fanfiction benders are definitely happening), but definitely emotionally. So here’s a playlist!

You might be thrown off by the fact that some of these songs are from 2010 and some are not (some even came out after!). Did you not note when I said tumblr in 2010 is not a time?! These songs embody the cosmic essence of a very specific time in my past that has suddenly become the defining cosmic essence of my present. As I probably said in a very sincere post about the movie Inception (sorry) on my tumblr in 2010: Life is cyclical.

Here’s a mood board for “tumblr in 2010.”

All photos included are actual screencaps/posts from my tumblr circa that time in my life…including a “graphic” I made of me and Olivia Wilde…with Regina Spektor lyrics on it? Please note that I believed myself to be heterosexual at the time.

New year, old me!

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a Brooklyn-based writer, television critic, and comedian who spends most of her time over-analyzing queer subtext on television, singing "Take Me Or Leave Me" in public places, and assembling cheese platters. She has a cat named after Piper Halliwell from Charmed, and her go-to karaoke song is "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Her writing can also be found at The A.V. Club and The Hollywood Reporter, and she wrote the webseries Sidetrack. You can catch her screaming in all-caps about Kalinda Sharma, Jennifer Lopez, and oysters on Twitter and Instagram.

Kayla has written 129 articles for us.

11 Comments

  1. I hope you’re happy that this made me go back and listen to Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff and I’m having a lot of weird feeling about music from a different time of my life that I no longer enjoy but can still sing every word 🙃

    • omg i love metamorphosis… the album and the song. and trust me, i bring out that lil time capsule at least once a year, and it still holds up. esp the song “workin’ it out”

      Some days I start off draggin’ my feet
      Some days I want to fly
      Some days it all makes sense to me
      Some days I just don’t want to know why

  2. You’re so right that “Tumblr in 2010” transcends place and time. Formspring, sharks vs. cats, Tumblarity, no real way to have a conversation with someone other than repeatedly reblogging a post and adding one line to the bottom of it, ridiculously well-known power-users like kari-shma… a mood indeed.

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