PHOTO GALLERY: Queer in the Bedroom

Becky / 27 / Neukolln, Berlin / Working On It

“I’m from England, and just moved into my new place after spending 4 weeks in suburban Berlin, sharing an apartment with a German lady who was apparently totally against central heating (as if Berlin winters aren’t hard enough!).  The last thing I think of before falling asleep is usually my dog back in England, and how quickly I can get him over here so we can both avoid Brexit (thanks, UK).  The first thing I think of when I wake up is how late I’m going to be to whatever I have planned for the day – I’m never, ever on time, and forever a creature of (bad) habit.”


Mary Longan / 23 / Madison, WI / Aspiring Archivist

“The very same windows that make it difficult to take a decent picture of my room are also my favorite part – that and all the art on the walls, mostly from local art fairs. On my off-days, I love to make a cup of coffee and crawl back into bed, to read or listen to music or watch movies. Those are the best mornings, calm and quiet. My room is definitely my happy place.”


Marissa / 22 / Houston, TX

“I live in a co-op called uRth Haus with 16 people, mostly QTPOC. My house is in the neighborhood Beyoncé grew up in.”


Maggie McGill / 23 / Washington DC / Communications Coordinator at a Nonprofit, Fat Positive Youtuber

“This is “my side” of the first room I’ve ever shared with my partner. We had to decorate our own sides because we can’t agree on decor. My favorite things in my room are a print of Mary Lambert typography art from her spoken word piece “Body Love” and a signed Hannah Hart poster that says “Nobody is wired wrong.” I also have a thing for candles and burn them  in this room a lot.”


Brooke / 29 / New York, NY / Arts Administration

“Pictured here are my girlfriend Jenny, my bunny June, and her dog Phillip. I really love how cozy we’ve made our room. I’m also extremely proud of our ability to collaborate and represent both our personalities in the decor.”


Tara / 26 / Tacoma, WA


Abigail / 22 / Washington DC / Policy Wonk

“This is the first bedroom I’ve really been able to decorate from scratch and it feels unbelievably cozy.  Also it is unbelievably amazing to have a bed that is not a twin.”


Kirsten and H / 29, 2 / Asheville, NC / Parent, Alternative Family Living Provider; Smashing the Cisheteropatriarchy with Tiny Toddler Fists

“My son and I share this room, and I love sleeping with his tiny body curled up against mine…when he sleeps, that is. My favorite thing about my room is how light it is and how many houseplants I can grow in it. I feel like I wake up in some a Real Simple photo shoot every damn day.”


Jay they/them / 22 / Ashland, OR / Student

“I fill my room with color, florals, and books because I never get tired of spacing out, looking around, and daydreaming, instead of focusing on my work.”


Sionnain / 23 / Long Island, NY / Full-Time Writer and Part-Time Ice Cream Scooper

“I’m living in my childhood home again as I figure out what’s next, so my current queer bedroom is the one where I found my queerness. I’ve lived a decade with this room—left and returned to it—with its purple walls and weird white built-ins and small me-sized bed. My favorite part of my room is my “library,” which has swelled to way past the capacity of my bookshelves, and includes at least six copies of Written on the Body. Another favorite part is my pillow-top mattress, which is so comfy that my partner and I have dubbed it “cloudbed.” Being in a long-distance relationship, we think a lot about queer time and space—the spaces we make for ourselves and each other, the space between us at any given moment and how it shimmers and retracts, and the way time moves with(in/out) us through it all. This room and this cloudbed has been one of our queer spaces, and I love that it has held so much—from 13-year-old baby gay’s questions and confusions, to my incredible queer partnership that each day gives me more answers.”


Ashley / 27 / Surrey B.C. Canada / Refrigeration and Grocery Store Designer

“My Favorite thing about my bedroom is the enormous walk-in closet that you would never have guessed existed.”


Oli Lipski / 23 / Brighton, UK / Student of Sexual Dissidence at the University of Sussex

“My room is my haven, even though I have only lived in it for about a month, but every room I have lived in from the past two years, (which has been 4 now, as a student I move a lot), has ben decorated almost identically. The same cheesy Photo Booth photos, my Snow White “Mirror Mirror on the Wall”, and my boobs (made for breast cancer awareness workshop). When I walk into my room I see my huge Atlas poster, reminding me of all the places I have and haven’t yet been. Before I go to sleep I admire my Jimi Hendrix and Red Hot Chili Peppers posters, taking me back to my teenage essence (they have stuck with me for a decade now). I love to hoard crap I find at house parties…the feather boa being the most recent addition.”


Jordan / 26 / Chattanooga, TN / Trampoline Park, Writer with Echoing Ida and Black Feminist

“Natural light, support, and healing is my bedroom’s aesthetic. There are affirmations written on my window in my “Self Care Nook”. Candles with lavender, vanilla, and chamomile oil with record player on the left and my vision board for the year on the right. Books of bacon, Black badassery and my meeting of President Barack Obama on the table closes it off. Then my bed is a wonderland of post-it notes, a childhood Winnie the Pooh and a pizza pillow I made in the library as a kid.”


Lee / 28 / Providence, RI / Barista, Artist

“My bedroom is my favorite room in the apartment! I usually read in bed every night before falling asleep. This is also the room where I do most of my drawing and sewing. Thanks to my beauty of a girlfriend for taking this photo. My smile is for her.”


Julia / 24 / Basel, Switzerland / Medical Student

“I absolutely adore my bedroom, it is my fortress, office, living room and is flooded with sunlight from the balcony almost all day. It’s hard to say what my favourite item in the room is – I love it all – but if I had to choose: the armchair, it’s smelly and kind of broken but it was my grandma’s and is just altogether perfect for my nerdy bookworm self.”


Rachel / 24 / Wiltshire, UK / Bumbling Postgrad

“Basically, my rule of thumb is that if you can’t choose between two or three or four colours then just go for all of them. At once.”


Sam / 27 / Nomadic-Europe / Acro Instructor

“This picture represents my current living situation quite well; always packing and unpacking in between trips, off to new lands. Currently I am in my childhood bedroom which I moved out of nine years ago. It feels weird being here and especially sending this for a queer photo series since the last time I lived in this space, I didn’t even know I was queer…so the space’s decoration still reflects my childhood and not my current/queer self, but this is my temporary living situation right now while I do a few months of traveling, and my cat Huckleberry (in background) waits for me here until we can have a place of our own again.”


Ariana Andreas / 19 / Vancouver Island, BC / Pastry Pusher, Student

“My favourite space in my room is the corner where my bed/nest currently is. It’s the furthest point of the house from the Wifi box and the slow signal is the only thing that stops me from watching endless Rick & Morty repeats instead of sleeping.”


Kat (they/them) / 23 / San Diego, CA / Coffee Professional

“My favorite pieces in my room are my plants, and I often go to bed or wake up reminding myself when I should water them next.”


Elisabeth (she/her) / 23 / Bay Area, CA / Student, Sexual Health Educator

“I live in a cooperative house with 35 other people, so designing my room as a calming space was very important to me — it’s my femme cave. My favorite part of the space is the mood board wall where I put photos, lithograph prints, notes from friends, and other bits I love.”


Hope / 23 / Boston, MA

“This is where I’ve been binge watching Shameless and planning cute outfits lately. I’ve only been here for a couple months but I love my little space and it’s great lighting.”


Rae (they/them) / 31 / Brisbane, Australia / Poet, Writer, Creative Person

“My room is my bunny burrow. It’s crowded with all the things I love, and it makes me feel very safe and creative.”


Geneva / 25 / Minneapolis, MN / Web Developer

“My room is my harbor. I spend a lot of time in it just hanging out and reading.”


Mathilde / 24 / Cannes, France / Head Waitress in Summer, Wanderer in Winter

“I still live with my parents most of the year and try to travel as much as I can. I spent 8 months home last year, only one the year before. When I’m home I spend most of my time in my room. Whatever happens I know this is a safe place I can come back to, anytime I need. I always think of my next destination before falling asleep and wonder when I’ll stop coming back. It’s easy for me to leave but I’m not sure it will be that easy for my cat who spends all his days and nights on my bed. He’s such a dependent half-human being that I’ll probably have to leave him here with my retired parents. That would be heartbreaking and definitely the end of an era.”


Hanna / 21 / Vancouver, BC / Gender studies Student

“I really like my room – putting up lights and photos of people I love has made it a lovely calming space to hang out and drink coffee, as pictured here.”

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Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here. She's 37, has two kids, two dogs, one cat, one Megan, and some personal essays.

Laneia has written 889 articles for us.

102 Comments

  1. Hey Bee from Sacramento! I am also living in Sacramento! We should meet up! We also have a NorCal straddlers group and I have been trying forever to get an IRL meetup going there!
    Love everyone’s pets and plants! I missed the deadline for this but I think I might post a picture of my room in the comments later.

  2. It never would’ve occurred to me to take multiple pictures and now there’s so much I wanna share with you! The poem on my wall. The Converse piggy bank my old nanny kid and I painted together. The fox pillow, the quotes, the way everything turns pink from the salt lamps at night. The framed pic of the porcupine in love with a cactus. It’s all there, and you can’t see any of it!

    Next time 😀

  3. Erin, 28, Ontario – judge you? Who would do such a thing? You tell me and I’ll punch them in the nose (unless immediately after the photo was taken you won at connect 4 then danced round the room gloating until your kid cried. Then I think I’d consider judging you pretty harshly).

  4. I love this! It is so exciting to see myself up here with all you amazing people and I echo Queer Girl’s sentiment that I wish I would have taken more pictures. Next time.
    I also now want to purchase all the fairy lights, make my own curtains, and buy more books so I can be as amazing as you all.
    I love seeing you beautiful humans. You are awesome and your hair looks really good today 🙂

  5. Pigeon of Kent! Your Ghostbusters prints! Well, the one, and I can’t make out the one below fully but it also looks like Ghostbusters.

    and Kells the Librarian-ISH! Yay for more FL straddlers.

  6. so awesome to see some other Charleston, SC folks on here. (we should have an autostraddle meet up, even if its super small!)

    Such a great post, this was very interesting. thanks! 🙂

  7. I love seeing everyone’s spaces and it makes me feel happy and proud that I am part of this awesome community <3

    Also I've realised my bedroom was pretty minimalist in comparison to most, apparently I don't give enough credit to the Virgo side of my Virgo/Libra cusp!

    Can't wait for the next assignment!

  8. So beautiful!!! I love all the little window gardens people have! My room does not have enough good light for that but I wish!
    Side note: Where are the +1 buttons??? I want to +1 everyone’s comments!

  9. i love how many of us have the same ikea herb-ish wildflower vaguely witchy bedspread cover. you can’t tell in the picture but i’m sitting on mine in my picture, and the person above me is wrapped in the same blanky. synchronicity!

    also, sionnain: seeing other thoughtful queer bookworms from long island makes me feel slightly less alone in the world, even though i haven’t lived there in so long.

    • Ocean! It was, in a lot of ways, not the easiest place to grow up queer, but it was even longer ago for you. I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m running a queer book club for high school kids, and the queer kids I know who are growing up here now are so amazing. They give me hope.

      • yay! i am so glad things have gotten better. i met my first girlfriend in the 90s because she saw the rainbow sticker on my riot grrrl lunchbox and we used to make out in the food court at roosevelt field and people were so mean to us but we did it for the closeted queer girls and cos we liked each other. Anyway, you rule!

  10. Lots of cosy bedrooms! I definitely don’t feel at all weird about having cats, random stuff on the walls and fairy lights in my room anymore, although I am per definition an adult.
    I live in Norway, and over here everyone pretty much has the same layout when it comes to bedding. Thus, I am intrigued by what seems to be duvets with no cover at all? Is this a common thing in the US?

    • Yes! Cultural differences in bedding are interesting. I noticed in Europe people use duvet covers but no top sheet sometimes. We (my corner of America) sleep between two sheets with then an uncovered duvet/quilt/comforter/blanket on top.

  11. Vest collector is a title I would like to aspire to and probably could.

    But those trans Pride flags being used as DIY decorative curtains.
    Brilliant, I love it.

    When AS gets to queer in the bathroom tho call me up.
    Need to show off my duct tape patching of the hole in my wall.
    I feel it represents my life right now.

  12. I now want a dating app that shows pictures of bedrooms instead of (or in addition to?) bedrooms. You learn so much more about people from their effing cute bedrooms. Call it Slumbr?

  13. my girlfriend and I are ready to close our Somerville-Jamaica Plain divide and Uhaul it to Roslindale.

    That’s one of the lesbian-est sentences I’ve read in a while.

  14. These galleries are so captivating and calming and I’m even more excited than usual to go to bed now.
    This whole series gave me serious bedspread envy, however. I need to up my game.

  15. I really enjoyed this series! I’ve lived in my new place (my first apartment all to myself) for nearly a year and haven’t yet finished decorating my bedroom, so I definitely drew some inspiration from these lovely humans.

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