People’s Choice Awards: Ellen DeGeneres, Glee and Product Placement Win

PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS: …were really weird. Right? I mean, the script was weird, the jokes were sort of awkwardly lame, the speeches were generally boring… well, we didn’t watch that much of the show. It was weird. Unfortunately, due to excessive and invasive product placement — and trust us, we’re okay with product placement in theory, but we think advertising is more effective when delivered to a target market in slow steady doses (like a blogad!) rather than thrown in the face of a bajillion American faces at the same time — we were unable to view the People’s Choice Awards. After two “behind the scenes” segments about what great hair & beauty products we could get at CVS and the GLEE win followed up by everyone getting free pizza (it wasn’t delivery though y’all), we were like, fuck this shit. But we’re pretty sure we know what happened:

NAACP IMAGE AWARDS: The NAACP Image Awards nominations are up, and Precious cleaned up! Nominees include confirmed homos Rosie O’Donnell, Wanda Sykes, and bestselling author E.Lynn Harris (RIP), closeted homos I won’t mention ’cause I don’t want to get yelled at, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Taye Diggs, Audra McDonald, Sandra Oh, S.Epatha Merkerson, America Ferrera, Donald Fabion (True Story: I say “WOMAN” all the time as a greeting or mating call b/c of his character in Clueless), Chandra Wilson, Ladies Love Cool James, Gabrielle Union, Mekhi Phifer and Larenz Tate (I had a crush on him when he was in that show South Central and had pictures of him over my bed true story).

Also Zoe Saldana, one of the top 20 most attractive living human beings, was nominated for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. Zoe Saldana

CHARLIE SHEEN: Charlie Sheen’s Hanes ads have been suspended following his arrest for domestic violence. (@people)

REALITY?: Homosexuals Invited to Audition for Dating Show — For Heterosexuals: “A new matchmaking show is looking for high energy LGBT’s to act as Wingmen and Wingwomen to whip hopelessly helpless daters into shape.”

HYPOCRISY: Dr. Drew Defines Hypocrite in 30 Seconds on The Today Show. (@gawker)

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EPIC: Britney Spears’ new single will be released in March“Epic Pop is a genre that I am pioneering at the moment. Music that has meaning. It’s not your everyday pop love bug sound. It’s upbeat rhythms and sounds with meaningful emotional lyrics that people can feel” (@aceshowbiz)

GOD HATES FAGS: The Westboro Baptist Church rewrites Poker Face – “You pissed off God, you’ll see what he’s got… You ain’t God… God hates you… You got a whorish face, it’s a whorish face.” (@gawker)

BARBIES: The best news in Barbies since the scissoring tutorial: Viek makes Lady Gaga tribute Dolls. (@pipeline)

LADY GAGA: The Making of Bad Romance. (@samesame)

Casey Johnson and Nikki HiltonCASEY JOHNSON: We don’t generally pay attention to this stuff and have a LOT of questions for the world! This video at Radar Online of Nikki & Bijou taking Casey’s things and her dog from Tila’s house is so freaking normal & real, but also this is what paparazzi actually do? And why did we watch the whole thing? But anyhow, is that what paparazzi do every day? If I’m employed by The Gap I’m nervous to approach a customer who has entered the store to shop and hypothetically desires my help because I feel I’m invading their space and feelings, and these guys literally follow people around barking unanswered personal questions towards celebrities who wish the paparazzi would leave them alone? They do this every day? I would need like 20 Xanax and a lobotomy to do that job.

Is it weird that if same-sex marriage was legal, then you KNOW those girls would’ve gotten married, and then they’d have a real big mess on their hands now, just like straight people who marry the wrong person while catapulting down a downward spiral. Just a thought. And well, her breakup with Courtenay would’ve been a lot different too. Courtenay is “devastated, and tweeted “LOVE U CJ FOREVER AND EVER…C U in my dreams X CJS.

Tonight Tila wrote a novel on twitter, she seems to be wanting everyone to know what I think we already knew: that she’d been financially/logistically taking care of Casey. Then there’s a bunch of other stuff we don’t understand. Who knows, OOC. This is interesting, w/r/t life in the upper upper upper upper class: Born Rich: The Life and Death of Heiress Casey Johnson. (@gawker)

It’s all very sad.

Riese is the 38-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2837 articles for us.

37 Comments

  1. I’m no fan of tila but at the end of the day,whether we believed her relationship with casey was legite and true…the fact of the matter is that she just lost someone close to her,and thank goodness they weren’t married it would of been ugly…I think nicki hilson and the rest of the ladies are being “mean girls” tila was her fiance she should of been allowed to keep the dogs

    Mariah carey had the most hilarious drunk speech ever thanking nick canon for helping her into her dress #classic

    Westboro baptist church have no life,rewriting gaga..they secretly love her

    I can’t wait for the NAACP awards!

  2. re: dating show – my favorite part is that they have to be “high-energy” homos. like, “straight people are hopeless and this shit is exhausting, so you better bring your A game.”

  3. I turned on the westboro Lady Gaga thing. My three kids all started dancing, and my 4 yr old started singing the ACTUAL words to Poker Face. 25 seconds in, record scratch:
    “Mommy, why is Poker Face different?”
    “Someone didnt like the song, so they wrote new silly words for it. They don’t think God would like it.”
    “Those people are idiots. Lady Gaga is awesome. God loves Lady Gaga. God loves everyone. I don’t want to listen to this. Can you turn on Dirty Rich?”
    I love my kid. Suck it Phelps family assholes.

    Also, my (straight) BFF and I totes had this reality show in mind already. Only ours was way better, and will never be seen by the masses because we are nobodies and no one cares about our feelings / ideas.

    • Me and pretty much all my bffs, straight and bi, have thought we should have a show at one point. Our lives can be so hectic and chaotic and interesting. Then we realize it only seems that way to us and no one would give two shits and a barrel of monkeys, so you’re not alone.

  4. Taye Diggs and Larenz Tate <3
    I'm gonna make a list of people who make me me drool. It's gonna be called Droolfest '10. Thus far it consists of Rose Rollins, Kate Moennig as Shane, Taye Diggs, and Larenz Tate.

    Lol at the full name "Ladies Love Cool James."

    Yes Westboro Baptist Church, this is exactly what God wanted you to do, write hateful lyrics, say things like "whorish" in the hopes of making others feel terrible. God is proud. Idiots.

    Remind me to look at the nikki/bijou/tila vid when I'm not mobile? and tila was financially supporting casey? Casey the heiress? Huh? Where does tila even get money?

      • I think tila gets her money from being booked, abd probably has a load from doing that show she had “a shot of love”

        At first I thought casey was wealthy because of the video her and tila put out when they annouced there engagement, tila kept saying that casey was filthy rich and that casey bought her the ring etc etc

        Thanks for thr breast responce,my friends and I were tryna figure out if anyone in hollywood ever had a reduction.

        • Oh wow, why was Casey cut off?

          And unfortunately, I can’t fathom Tila being savvy enough to cut a good deal out of the shows, most of the people doing them don’t really get too much. Not from what I’ve heard. I could be wrong. I think they do it for the fame more than the ticket price.

  5. Wow, just watched tie video. I feel bad for Tila in the end. I cant help but wonder if this had been a straight couple, or even if it were someone other than Tila, if they would have taken Casey’s stuff from her fiance like that. Idk, but Nicki and Bijou came off cold, I don’t know if that was just because of the paparazzi but, that’s the way it read.

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