Shane McCutcheon self-sabotages, Emily Fields co-depends, Cheryl Blossom is scared to commit — and a team of real live functional adult queer women are here to help.

It’s 2017, and married power lesbians Jenny Schecter and Shane McCutcheon face some tough stuff only days before Carmen De La Pica Morales is coming in for a weekend visit that turns out a whole lot cooler than anybody could’ve predicted.

I have to come to expect that kind of technicolor Sapphic unreality in all of my Chaiken programming, which is exactly why I did not expect L Word Mississippi: Hate The Sin. And I’m glad I didn’t, because this is a documentary worth seeing on its own terms.

Turns out that when you create the first ever show with a cast of almost all queer women, and do it on a cable channel that allows multiple scenes of what just barely misses qualifying as porn in every episode, we gays get resourceful.

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane by retro-recapping the Dinah Shore episode, in which the lesbians also take a trip down memory lane, which makes this recap very meta.

Jess chats with Laurel about her emerging art career, the controversy over The Kids Are All Right, her iconic lesbian roles as Tina and Randy Dean, what TV shows she’d love to be on, whether she’ll act again and much more! Plus, come face to face with Laurel and her artwork at The Dinah this Spring!

Why oh why won’t Chaikenbake give us a decent [or any] sex scene on The L Word this season? In a world where all we seen on screen is heterosexual sex, we need somewhere where are desires are not just validated but portrayed.

The L Word’s almost over!! Two short-but-sweet weeks from now, we’ll all be forced to look at each others’ faces and speak words to each other about actual life instead of funneling all our feelings into fictional characters who change personalities every season and often disappear suddenly without warning/explanation.

Everything in LA is too hot to live. The ladies of The L Word have a showdown a la “The Godfather” and then everyone goes home [or to an elevator] and has a lot of sex while Freezepop plays in the back.

See the joy and the laughter! At “LMFAO”’s end, Tasha’s proud of Alice, Bette & Tina are in love 4evs, Kit & Helena have successfully turned Hit Club into “Casablanca meets Studio Fifty-Fouh” (that’s my best transliteration of Kit’s pronunciation of “4″), Shane & Jenny are in the giggly charged-up first moments of what they still believe is Real Love and everyone is dancing and/or laughing! AND SCENE!!

First of all: Hellooooooo Paige! Someone tell Papi that she can be a chula without the Hobby Lobby hats, please. In other news, remember how you laughed the whole time they played basketball? Me too.

The top three ways you can tell EZ-Girl wrote this episode? Max kissed mice when he was little, Tina likes movies that are very “visual”, and Catharine thinks drawing with lipstick is sexy. Luckily, Jenny just wants to take off her clothes in public.