Somewhere in between thrifting 50 floral print hankies and meeting with the queer chef who is catering my wedding, I realized that I had to actually… figure out what I wanted my wedding ceremony to look like.

There is no right or wrong way to host a wedding — but when you’re thinking about how to save money at your gay wedding, it’s a good idea to get really clear on what is and isn’t important to you, so you can spend and save accordingly.

I learned some weird things about wedding hashtags while fixating on this.

When you elope it’s fantastically freeing to only focus on yourselves.

Your loved ones want to get you the things you want, and they can only do that if you tell them what that is!

If you’re wondering what some queer people who aren’t me are thinking about when it comes to getting engaged and wedding planning (or not wedding planning), this installment of Blush and Bashful is for you.

The reason I wanted to write about this experience is explicitly to say to other fat brides that buying a dress does not have to be a negative experience.

“There are so many ways to individualize your ring and make it super unique for your relationship and yourself.”

Welcome to Blush & Bashful, a new biweekly column about planning a queer wedding.