Lights up: Regina Spektor sings at us for an entire minute and twenty seconds before we make our way into Litchfield where Boo, dressed in a suit that is too well tailored for her to have just found, brings the guards their first meal since they’ve been locked up. A quick altercation occurs and all the inmates find out that it was Gloria, not Daya who actually had the gun. Everyone dives onto it, and the brunette meth head (Angie? I don’t keep track of them) emerges victorious holding the gun. She announces, “I’m the jefe now!” with one of the harshest American “j” sounds ever and decides there will be a talent show and the guard/hostages will perform. So, we know where this is going.
Alex and Piper are somewhere else on the grounds dreaming up a life outside of prison. It’s a cute domestic moment, even though I don’t like them. Alex is still feeling guilty about killing Aydin though, and anxious. Later on in the episode, after Alex has ripped off the sleeves of her thermal and set up a house (with a guest room!) with Piper, more people start coming outside trying to figure out whose turf this is and who’s in charge. Even though Alex works super hard to make it very clear that’s she’s definitely not in charge, of course she’s in charge. She gives a not-speech standing on some sort of construction machinery with the the machine’s name “Construction King” next to her the entire time. She leads the outside quiet resistance now, whether she likes it or not.
In the dining hall, Suzanne and Maureen and Brooke are sleeping. Maureen’s face is seriously fucked up still and I’m really concerned about how and why for the most part the infirmary still seems to be doing just fine, but she’s just hanging out sleeping on dirty floors.
The three hold a seance in the circle, and Taystee, Allison, Black Cindy and Janae join them. They have a conversation about spirits and there’s a rumbling in the ceiling which the prisoners think is Poussey’s spirit maybe, but we all know is THAT FUCKING RAPIST GUARD HIDING IN THE CEILING LIKE A CREEP. It’s so hard to watch these characters deal with grief this big without any hope of redemption or healing. That’s why this show has been making me so anxious I think. There are really light silly moments, but they keep reminding us through these tortured characters of color that something terrible has happened. And the juxtaposition of all the other almost frivolous stuff just lets me know early (and I haven’t finished the season yet) that these characters aren’t going to get justice, no matter what. And that’s hard to watch.
Anyway, we also learn that Allison and her husband were in a polyamorous relationship before she came to prison. And it seemed like something that was negotiated really well early on (or at least as well as straight people can negotiate anything while still working within a misogynist patriarchal system), but that Allison started to have weird feelings and had difficulty communicating those feelings. She should’ve come to the poly panel at A-Camp.
Echoing other Autostraddle writers, I don’t really get the point of the flashbacks anymore either? Are we supposed to think Allison is in prison because of bigamy? In this economy???
Sophia decides she’s done with whatever the fuck is going on in this prison, and I do not blame her. She tells the nurse she’s working with that she’s gonna give herself up to which he says, “Sophia, the fate of a large black person coming out of the dark through the front door isn’t a promising one right now.” When she says something about it being up to God what happens to her, he replies that actually, it’s up to her. “That’s right it’s up to me,” she says before walking outside with her hands held up…to a sleeping prison guard who really doesn’t have any idea about what to do with her. Seriously, how is any of this happening?
Right, so some white supremacists attached Judy King to a plank of wood alongside Yoga Jones and are leading her to “her drop spot” which is the roof, where she insists people are dropping off pizza and booze for her. They literally talk about torturing her, and her face is covered in blood? It’s all too much honestly.
Litchfield Idol is a literal farce. There are some good theatre jokes: Boo talks about dykes behind stage, CO Dixon said “Thank you five…it’s a thing,” and I laughed out loud. He also sings Hall and Oates’ “Rich Girl” and as much as I hate the guards I am a sucker for a 1970s gay anthem. It was one of few genuine smiles I had in the episode, even if under awful conditions. Josh from PR wins, and Caputo loses and is doomed to “The Poo” which is an outdoor toilet they duct tape him into.
And then, finally Judy King and her crew make it to the roof. The two white supremacists put on hijabs, because why not add a little extra racism? When they realize that they just walked up the stairs for nothing, they decide to throw Judy off the roof, but luckily, a helicopter does arrive! To take pictures.