Valentine’s Day Open Thread: Where All Our Love is Unconditional Love

Hello and welcome to the most reviled/made up/angsty/anticlimactic holiday of the year! This unassuming Monday has launched a thousand expensive Italian dinners, adorable over-the-top romantic gestures, and feel-good Very Special Episodes, and also just as many bitter Daria marathons and stalking of our exes that we later sincerely regret.

What are you doing today? Treating someone to a fancy steak dinner? Treating yourself to a fancy steak dinner? Enjoying the tiny chocolate hearts at the office and then coming home to make handmade potholders, just like every other Monday? Creating a Plan B after confirming that The Olive Garden doesn’t take reservations?

What was your best/worst Valentine’s Day ever? Does your Mom make you a heart-shaped strawberry confetti cake every year?

Share any and all feelings here, and we’ll see if we can’t talk you down from baking three dozen chocolate espresso cupcakes with raspberry buttercream for your ex. Or if you’re going to bake them anyways, at least share the recipe.


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  1. This Valentines Day I am eating lentil soup, reading Autostraddle, and going to dance practice later. And stare adoringly at my crush, who has hips that look amazing in ballet wear. (tight tank tops and booty shorts)

  2. I’ve always dated people who didn’t give a crap about Valentine’s Day and, even though I’m not a big fan of it myself, I always found myself disappointed when nothing fun happened. In an unrelated sidenote, I’ve also got a track record of ending relationships either right before or on February 14th. It really is a coincidence, though. I mean, what am I, PSYCHOTIC!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Anyway, my mom is the most incredibly selfless, loving woman and she has always given cards to me and my siblings for Valentine’s Day. She’s sick today but I expect she has the cards sitting at the house somewhere, maybe still in the bag from the store. I’m going to arrange for her to receive some flowers today.

    Today I’m sitting alone in my apartment with my dog Isis and I’m still unbathed (how many days is it since I showered? I can’t remember) and in my pajamas. I woke up just before the pest control guy came in and I did nothing to not look like a pile of greasy crap in front of a stranger. That’s the start of my romantic Valentine’s Day. I plan to go buy myself something later but I don’t know what. Give me some suggestions!

  3. also, my university gay club is having a valentines night bar thing which i really would have love to go to but im too busy studying for 90 midterms.

    im getting cockblocked by education. fml.

    • Yes but apparently girls dig an educated women(PART OF THE REASON I’M STILL IN SCHOOL), so think about how NOT cockblocked you’ll be after college.

      • i blame valentines day being conveniently located halfway through the winter schoolterm.


  4. this valentine’s day i am getting fucked up and ordering a PAPA JOHN’S HEART SHAPED PIZZA with my bffl brandon.

    i suggest y’all do the same… even if you actually have someone to share the pizza with who is not JUST your best friend. (but let’s face it, they probably were once.)


    • I used to work at Papa John’s and let me tell you, it. is. complete. chaos. on valentine’s day and I worked front counter so unfortunately, no cowering in the back room for me

      Right now I’m doing homework/watching House and I think I’m getting a sore throat. Happy Valentine’s everyone!

  5. It’s the 15th here now – all I did yesterday was eat half of one of the cupcakes my mother bought us. I did cook dinner for the fam (roast chicken, which was actually way too big a meal for a weekday) but I do that every day.

    On the other hand, a week ago my girlfriend bought me strawberry rose milk chocolate for we-don’t-believe-in-Valentine-but-we-do-believe-in-chocolate-day and today imma make pasta from scratch for our lunch, followed by brownies. Feminist triumph AND food. I think it’s a win.

  6. Someday I will love Valentine’s Day.
    I say this because my girlfriend and I have yet to come out to our families. I am ready to tell mine, but she isn’t, so I’m waiting for her to give me the green light so I can finally do it. I hope it doesn’t take too much longer because she is incredible and I can’t wait to show her off around the people I care about. As for today, we both have school and then we are going to dinner after with a group of people. I really hope this is the last V-day I’ll have to spend keeping it a secret from my family =/

  7. today is just like any other day… work work work. except that everyone here is pink and red and sparkly. yes, I work in that kinda place with those sorta people. but, they’re keeping me happy and feeding me sugar.

  8. Ah yes, my worst Valentine’s Day…

    My homogaycrush gave me a card that read simply:

    “To me, you are perfect.”
    A quote from our favorite movie, Love Actually.
    With a cute little heart at the bottom.

    This card only fed into my burning passion for the lass, and contributed to my utter mortification a few months later when I professed my love and found out that she was straight.

    • I’m pretty sure I’m missing something here, because that sounds pretty good (not the professing love part, them giving you a card)!

  9. Work, go to yoga, stare at the pretty girls in yoga, eat something with cheese.
    Happy Valentines Day y’all!

  10. Today is sad because my gf has a 100.6 fever and we had to cancel our plans. She’s a poor little sickling, and now my recent Victoria’s Secret purchase will just have to wait!

  11. I e-mailed an Amazon gift card to my bff who’s at Columbia. I am also in the middle of cleaning the house for my mom (and myself, I guess) while she’s at work (as today’s my day off), and I’m going to make her grilled tilapia and salad for dinner, and arrange red pepper slices to make a heart on her plate.

    Yesterday, my best gay pal and I went to Toronto with the intention of doing a gallery crawl, only to find that the galleries were closed (even though their websites said they were open Sundays). We went shopping instead, had salad/French toast at Eggspectation, and he gave me overdue Christmas and birthday gifts. which were each wrapped in about 27 layers of ribbon and paper. He’s a wonderful, perfect human being.

    • I love what you’re doing for your mom. Like, really love. It’s making my heart really happy.

      Also, your post made me miss having a really excellent gay boyfriend.

  12. I’ve never cared much for the day. But it makes it hard when people ask what I am doing with my girlfriend and I have to say we’re fighting and it may be the one that ends our relationship.
    I am pretty sure that on this beautiful sunny day I am one of those people with a dark cloud hanging over my head. Raining on my own personal pity parade.

  13. I think it’s weirdly something to do with the fact that I’ve been single for so long – hence, given up – but I’m finding myself really enjoying V-day this year. (Also, back when I was in relationships, I found the whole thing kind of stressful. What to buy? How much to spend? Will they like this thing I’ve spent a long time making, or will they think I’m psychotic? Etc.) Anyway, I’ve spent the day bouncing around wearing a dress with hearts on it, giving friends and people in work chocolates just ’cause, to express my love for THE WORLD. I bet I’ve been really annoying. But it’s the best Valentine’s day I’ve had in years!

  14. Happy Valentines day to my face! I didn’t know I could get a pimple on my lip until now. Thanks for keeping it fresh, face!

  15. this valentines day, I will mostly forget it is valentine’s day except to be happy that there is an open thread on autostraddle.

    I may indulge in a little disappointment at getting shot down at our gay dance night. You guys, it is so much harder to hit on girls successfully. Straight men are both and easy in multiple sense of the word. But girls are prettier. Maybe it’s good that it’s harder to be successful with girls, because that makes it more interesting? Yes, I’ll conclude that that is it.

    • Sorry you got shot down. I suggest increasing your whorishness. You may get shot down more, but you’ll also get more yeses.

  16. Hm, well, I already DEVOURED the chocolate heart my mom sent me and skipped the gym. But on the plus side, I improvised a batch of butternut squash curry soup that is hella good and did a load of laundry. Unemployed and single. Woot woot!

    • I love your name. I don’t know what it is I wanna do with it, maybe I just want to giggle, on the other hand I want to eat it.

  17. I like valentine’s day because my mum always made us heart-shaped pizzas and cookies and loved us and that’s basically a perfect holiday.

  18. im not a huge valentine’s day person, but this past weekend the gf and i headed to monterey for a romantic weekend away from work, friends and the doggie. tonight she’s working until 11, so im heading to yoga, hitting a pickup bball game after, and then making some sort of chicken polenta dish and cuddling up to the pooch until mom comes home. oh and maybe ill even make a card!

  19. I am avoiding my feelings today/pretending I’m not single. AKA mass drug-binge and clean my entire house for my 21st this friday. i hate this holiday. always.

  20. I’m at work. I treated myself to a nice lunch. Going to go to rugby practice tonight, sweat out all the feelings. Buy a pint of guinness from the 25 hour deli, watch some rugby and then go to bed.

    • So where are you from?? 25 hour deli. I don’t know, sounds very interesting.
      How’s the sweating going? ;)

      • haha, a planet that has a 25 hour day clearly. oops total typo.The sweating will be good, I feel so alive when I work out.. almost the best type of sweating… ;)

        • I love your planet! The days go by so fast at my planet! Sweating is always good, imo. Except when it’s anxiety sweat.

          Oh and happy day-after Valentine ;)

  21. The girl I started seeing recently gave me a really great valentine after I told her I was helping to run a queer-, sex- and poly-positive valentine-making event at my school in response to a nasty article in the campus newspaper. My favourite part is when it says,

    “I’d be stoked beyond all belief if you wanted to spend Valentine’s Day, today, or really any day with me and possibly (dare I sat it?) be my Valentine or at least join me in the wonderful, sodomy-filled, right-wing provoking, traditionalist-scaring, campus newspaper-upsetting institution of genuine, unmediated and unhindered gayness.”

    It’s a bit of a mouthful, but I love it.

  22. Going to spend most of today on a bus.

    I celebrated Valentine’s early with my gay male friend. We’re both vegetarians so we just split everything. It was fun.

    I’m so happy to not be in love right now. Woo!

  23. Going to spend most of today on a bus.

    I celebrated Valentine’s early with my gay male friend. We’re both vegetarians so we just split everything. It was fun.

    I’m so happy that I’m not in love right now. Woo!

  24. I was always one of those girls who hated Valentine’s day: so commercial, depressing, anticlimactic etc etc..
    Then last year that was all swept away because I had the PERFECT Valentine’s day.. you guys, it was perfect.

    Now I’m back to being one of those girls who hates it again. Sigh.
    Spending this evening with my besties, wine and chocolate though – could definitely be worse!

  25. Today, I completely forgot it was VD (Valentine’s Day/venereal disease?) And then I remembered in the form of the “Not a Valentine’s Day Poetry Reading” at school. I’ve been told that I am to write and then read some snarky prose. So there’s that.

  26. Having the lack of friends as I do, I decided to go by myself to see the drag show that was held by our university’s lgbt centre. It was pretty cool.

    That’s how I spent the majority of my Valentine’s Day.
    The rest will be spent studying and on tumblr.

  27. I just got the best gift ever from my straight colleague- a flask. Now I can celebrate Valentine’s Day (or Single’s Awareness Day) how it SHOULD be- with copious amounts of alcohol.

  28. Today I sent cute VD cards to all of my best friends because this is our last year of high school and I may not see them again, since they’re all moving. I received none in return.
    My mother left this morning for a business trip leaving me all alone with my grandmother who has Alzheimer and is literally driving me crazy. I feel like crying.
    And also, I am completely, utterly in love with my best friend, who is beautiful and amazing and 100% straight. Now I said it, for the first time. I don’t know how long I can take this. I am suffering like hell, but I can’t even tell anyone. I have no one to talk to about it. And when she asks me what’s wrong, I just have to pull myself together and say it’s nothing.
    I’ve never cared much for Valentines Day, or expected anything special, but this seems a little bit to much.

    What would I do without Autostraddle?!

    • Hang in there. The final year of school is always stressful like that. Where I live, Valentines day is not really big, so it’s pretty common for people giving cards out at school not to get them in return. It’s not about what people feel about people it’s what they feel about Valentines day which influences whether they send cards or not.

      Crushing on straights seems to be a trap we all fall into. Eat chocolate. That solves most things, at least temporarily. I can promise you that going to college will open up your world in a way you can’t imagine. Also: lgbt groups! Get excited. Happy Valentines day.

      • Thank you for the pieces of advice!

        Senior year can be pretty stressful, especially if you acknowledged your queerness (to yourself, at least) only six months ago and are currently knee-deep in the process of questioning your life/identity/past friendships/future/everything :) I know everybody goes through this, and I know it gets better in time, but right now my life pretty much sucks. I feel like I’m PMSing every single day of every single week. And when I’m not, I’m just miserable.

        I wasn’t really expecting any Valentines cards. It was just the last straw, you know? Like, every single person here received one, and I just felt disappointed in a very childish way.

        Crushes on straight girls are terrible. I think it would actually be bearable if only she weren’t my best friend. I am looking forward to University :D

        And lgbt groups? Nope. Not easy to find any if you live in Italy. Especially in Rome ;)
        Not the worst place in the world to be a homo, but not the best either.

          • I have no words for this.
            Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you :D
            It is the best and most charming card ever and you have just made my day. Seriously.
            After replaying it 10 times in a row I feel like I love you and I love myself and I love the world and I love Autostraddle and the universe is made of shiny rainboys and pretty unicorns.
            On a more serious note, you have really made me happy. It has been a tough winter, but this little present warmed my heart through and through.
            Thank you :D

            ps: “cassandra who is supposed to conquer the world” = WIN

          • I can’t believe you took the time to do this.
            I know I might be over-reacting, but it’s 3 am here and I’m sleep-deprived and I was NOT expecting the day/night to bring me anything good.
            Lots of love :)

          • girl, no problem! we all love you here, you deserve a few valentines. Finding out it made you so happy has improved my day too :)

  29. It’s Vday, I have more work than I can do, more pent up sexual frustration after 14 months of not getting any and not being able to find anyone willing to help me out with this and cramps from my period that just started at lunchtime. I HATE EVERYTHING. Except you Autostraddle.

    Where are all the other sad bitter single young lesbians I can cuddle/play with kittens with when you need them :\ sigh.

    • Sadly, sad bitter young lesbians to cuddle and play with kittens with are never quickly available when you need them.

      Or in my case ever, since I live in entirely the wrong country.

    • Sad Panda, I feel like you and young cassandra (above) should join forces and be sad bitter single young lesbians that love nothing but Autostraddle together. And together, (with the help of your must, AS) you can conquer THE WORLD and be joyful happy inspired young lesbians instead!

      Or go on tumblr, never fails to cheer me up.

      • FUCK. Although Autostraddle is indeed a must (obvs) I actually meant to type ‘your muse’. Fecking typos, eh? At least this one’s super complimentary to AS either way.

  30. I just fried up some pulled pork with eggs, put ’em on top of pancakes, and drizzled with BBQ sauce. #VarsityBBQTeam

    Otherwise, I must repent for the sins of my weekend and play serious catch up on some work.

    Happy VD to you all!

  31. It’s nearly 10pm here and I’m spending my Valentine’s Day night in the university library with the other dorks <3 Yeah it's essay writing, but I dig it.

  32. GUYS! It is absolutely, stunningly LOVELY outside today in good old Washington DC. So I’m going to go outside and ride my bike, that I just finished restoring, for the first time ever/roll down a hill/throw a frisbee to myself/eat a cloud because this weather is making me feel all light and fluffy inside!

  33. I just got back from the dog park (which was filled with straight men instead of the usual lesbian crowd, boo). A dog humped another dog and I said, “Look! They know it’s Valentine’s Day!” Then one of the guys freaked out and left to go buy flowers because he forgot. I felt like I was on some awful sitcom.

  34. I’m single, but Valentine’s Day is a massive deal to one of my closest friends. We’re seriously platonic (as in, not at all attracted to each other, and she’s straight), but as she’s also single, we’re dressing up and doing the dinner thing. I’m worried I’m going to fail her expectations – she’s super into flowers and candy and I’m worried that she bought me stuff. I wanted to cheer her up with roses, but I’m poor, doing homework all the time, and roses are so freaking expensive, you guys.

    Also, a straight guy with whom I study occasionally has been super-intense in wanting to hang out, and due to the endlessly-consuming homework (and creeping feeling that he likes me as more than a study buddy), I haven’t actually done so for a while. He got all mopey and blah on me yesterday.

    In sum, straight people are so damn stressful.

  35. Bahhhh. This should be a Thai food, cheap champagne, chocolates-and-ruffly-underwear, mainstream-commercialized-holidays-are-ridiculous-but-who-cares-let’s-have-fun-anyway kind of night. Instead, my date this evening is my cat. We are going to an exclusive event, called “doing boring work from home for my crap job.”

    I hope no one is too sad tonight. Message me on Tumblr and I will post sweet internet nothings just for you! <3

  36. My girlfriend has been on vacation in the Virgin Islands all week and comes home tonight so I wasn’t really expecting anything. This morning I woke up to an email with a video-message from her that she filmed from various parts of the island. Wishing me a happy valentines day, edited together and set to a song which I introduced her to the day she met my parents.

    You guys. Seriously. How did I manage to pull this off? A year ago I was in the worst relationship ever and homegirl broke up with me the week before Valentines day.

    And now this…HOW?!

  37. Card I got from my friend:
    “After bleeding everywhere (my BFF was the shoulder I cried on this morning after scrubbing blood out of my sheets at three this morning, thank you mother nature) Well Red is the last color you want to see. BUT it is Valentine’s Day!” **drawing of me**
    “…is thinking about girls (crossed out) handcuffs, whips.”
    I have so much love for my best friend and all my other friends that it doesn’t matter that I’m single. Plus: they baked! Cake! Brownies! It was a party.

  38. You guys, today’s been okay so far. I’ve had a shit ton of classes and work and generally not much time to think about the stupid stupid significance of the day. I also got flowers for my best friend, which made her happy. BUT I am still recovering from the Worst Breakup Of All Time with the girl to whom I was devoted for 2.5 years and believed was my One and Only Soulmate Tibette-Style Love. What’s your advice for getting through tonight in the wake of a romantic tragedy?

    • Drinking, staying busy, hanging out with friends and meditating have helped me get through my recent breakup. Also watching funny YouTube clips and mindless action movies, such as The Fast and the Furious (it has Jordana Brewster AND Michelle Rodriguez in it, okay?).

      Also, Autostraddle.

      • Oh, and my hilarious Southern ya-ya mother’s sage advice on dealing with breakups:
        1) Buy yourself some new sheets and throw out the old ones from the relationship.
        2) Wear fancy underwear all by yourself, so you can feel good about yourself.
        3) Take that mug she gave you or those dishes you bought together and smash it on the floor. Repeat until you feel better. (And then sweep up afterwards, like a responsible adult.)

    • I love getting unexpected flowers for friends, people get so happy, that helps me some with romantic tragedy.

      Otherwise, I let/make myself do fun things like elaborate cooking projects, cut off any self-indulgent lines of thought that mythologize or are preoccupied with romantic relationships, remember that Tibette are pretty much miserable for the entirety of the show and I really want to be Shane or something like that, remember the things that I like about myself better when I’m single, cuddle platonically with friends (everyone always says they’re game but you have to make them do it!), get really emotionally involved in movies of questionable taste, listen to zen/dharma podcasts, and take up yoga.

      I cannot promise these things will help anymore than anything else, but ideas! they are always fun when you don’t where else to start.

    • If you can connect with people who love and support you, either in person or on the phone, that’s always my preference.

      If you’re the introspective pen-and-paper type, the queergirlquestions tumblr recently suggested a process for a related situation here

      I like to distract myself with mini marathons of tv worlds that feature bands of misfits forming families of friends (Firefly, Buffy, Dead Like Me, 30 Rock – all available on netflix instant queue if you have it). While not queer, Firefly is my fave.

      If even distraction doesn’t work, I concede defeat by flopping somewhere, turning on appropriately emo music, lighting some candles, and give up trying to hold it together. Just let all those feeling I’ve jammed into different corners of my being flow through me like a hose. Sometimes it scares the hell out of me in the moment, but the catharsis has always been worth it.

      • Firefly isn’t really queer, but there was that one memorable episode where Inara got down with a lady! And another where Mal was wearing a pretty floral bonnet and dress.

        Joking aside, you’re right: sometimes you do just need to cry for a while. Breakups hurt, period. It’s a form of loss, and it’s okay to give yourself some time to grieve.

        • Um, so I was going to post that exact same comment except I couldn’t remember Inara’s name. So I started searching for her name and before I knew it I was 30 minutes into the Firefly documentary.

  39. My girlfriend (whom I’m beginning to think is, in some ways, a better girlfriend than I am) and I are not Valentine’s Day people. However. After agreeing to not do anything, she has given me a funny/joke of a card in front of my parents, left a 2nd/serious card on the windshield of my car, AND hand-delivered a dozen [obvs overpriced; love ain’t got no limit, apparently] roses to me at work today.

    So, I have nothing with which to reciprocate. Because I play by the rules.

    I need to go make her a collage or something, but fuck, I don’t have any glue.

  40. I don’t really care about Valentine’s Day except that every year I check my mailbox about three times without ever finding anything, but hope is the last thing I am giving up and by the time I will find something, I then can happily continue mocking Valentine’s Day.

    Actually, this year I got a really, really cute card from a friend who’s currently living in the US.

    I also slept a lot, worked a lot, found out what the most boring task at work is and in the evening I had a rather complicated chat with a girl I’ve been writing e-mails with. she whole week-end she answered really interesting okcupid-questions and sending me links to porn sites. no seriously, she did. we discussed it. I highly appreciate her doing that. she then insisted on being “decent” which later culminated into an outburst like “damn, I read shakespeare too, you know!”
    we continued talking, but about, uhm, books, travel, pets and our zodiac signs.

    I mean…ok. I probs should meet her in person.

    she’s scorpio though, poor thing. this is what happened to my friend on a date.
    girl: so…what’s your sign?
    my friend: I’m a scorpio.
    girl, gets up, leaving: I know your kind!!

    • i’m a scorpio but i don’t really pay attention to any of that stuff… so i have to ask, what exactly is “our kind” supposed to be like that would provoke such a reaction??

  41. This is my first Valentine’s Day with a valentine ever, and we’re doing squat. Mostly per my request. We’ve done my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and her birthday (celebrated this past weekend) in three months and I am all out of special happy celebration feelings.

  42. So this is my first Valentine’s day alone in three years, but I’m actually doing pretty great so far, mostly because for the first time since November it was WARM (mid-40’s, but I’ll take it) and I was walking around without a jacket or a hat and it was sunny. Yay!

    Also I spent half the day checking out new beds & futons, which is strangely fun. Anyone else enjoy that, or am I weird?

    • No that is the BEST. Have you done the Sleepy’s thing with the sleep science where they put you on a special bed and a machine measures the curvature of your spine?
      RUN. DO NOT WALK. High tech resting FTW.

      • WHAT. NO I haven’t done that but now I will…I think there’s a Sleepy’s here. Although does the machine also measure the curvature of my wallet? Because I hope their high tech resting does not also mean high costs.

  43. I spent the entire day in my apartment watching TV. One of my roommates is off boning her boyfriend, two of them are at work, one of them is out with her friends, and one of them is buying a vase for the big-ass flowers she received from an anonymous admirer. I’m ready for it to be tomorrow.

  44. I am happy today because love is great- because you can always love yourself! I mean that both ways- the G rated and the NC-17 (because female sexuality can’t be shown on screen -ahem blue valentine-)

    Tomorrow is my birthday. I have twice been dumped on Valentine’s Day, and I think when I was in high school and deep in my Bright Eyes obsession Conor Oberst, who shares my birthday (holla!) called the 15th “the day that love forgot” as if all the love burnt off on the 14th and the 15th was just a day for headaches from too much sugar and returning gifts you didn’t actually want.

    But I bought my roommate flowers because I love living with her and I am making popcorn for my cat because I love how she sleeps on my head and then I’m taking my partner out for a steak dinner because he loves eating animals.

    I also love AS for open threads and everything else wonderful they provide.

  45. I’m a sophomore at Cornell and I’m taking this vday to ruminate on the lack of ladies at my school. Seriously, isn’t Ithaca supposed to be lesbian central? It seems like the only gays around here are men, at least in the student population.

    On a happy note, I love AS for the hilarious comments and also connection to other homogays :)

    • what up big red!! i just graduated from cornell in may!

      the queer ladies are there! believe me!

      (also, i used a ridiculous amount of exclamation points. i apologize, but i get really excited about the good ol’ alma mater. so excited that it made me make my first comment on autostraddle.)

      • Yay! Thanks for replying. I suppose I should just look harder to make sure I find some ladies before they all graduate haha. I’m trying to do more stuff with Haven recently but it can be a bit awkward, you know? Although we have a Babeland pleasure party next week, which should be awesome :)

        And I really appreciate the excessive exclamation marks!!

  46. So, I want to say stuff. So…i’m gonna say stuff ^_^

    1. Currently with girlfriend. We made/had dinner together. I just got done making us Oreo milkshakes with my friends blender. Since we’re in school, we’ll be doing homework and maybe something else later ;)

    2. Thinking about some tattoo ideas: a music one and a Slipknot one (R.I.P Paul Grey). Though, I always spend my tattoo money on gear (music techie) and food (broke college student).

    3. I have a crush on someone. I was thinking about the individual earlier, but thankfully it’s a small crush.

    4. What’s going to happen next valentine’s day (my girlfriend is graduating). Part is me is like eh, I’ll hang out with friends and we’ll celebrate life with alcohol. We’ll see.

    That’s all. All that’s on my mind and I wanted it out. And there it is.

  47. my roommates who are in a long term relationship won’t stop watching house hunters in the living room. I want to play assassin’s creed. shouldn’t they go be romantic?

  48. I’m spending V Day on AS with “The Best of lesbian erotica 2011” lying in front me, purchased this afternoon and waiting to be read. Next to me I’ve got a glass of white wine and some Esperanza Spalding playing. So far, so good!

  49. I’m currently pre-pre-gaming a night out with all of my single lady friends. Maybe I’ll get laid? That’d be a good Monday night in my book.

  50. Spent my night eating hot wings & cheese fries with my best friend. We watched The Town. all in all….not bad!

  51. im currently catching up on AS while having dinner.
    My sis was nice enough to buy me dinner and i have chocolate from last year’s xmas gift
    that’s the only thing valentine-y i’m doing but other than that, life goes on, which includes laundry, watch some tv and prepare for tomorrow’s lecture on how blood clots.
    I think i’m going to treat myself with a glass of wine ;D

    happy vday fellow AS readers

    • My work is finding work, for a living or not–hell, I’d just like to pay all my bills in the same month.

      In the meantime, Autostraddle keeps me sane through insomniac nights worrying about cover letters, so that hopefully when one of those letters yields a job interview, I don’t come across as TOO crazy/desperate.

  52. is it wrong that me and my one of my closest friends Vday tradition is to through down ?? were both strong and love to just beat on eachother (for fun no face shots) but we toss each other around and down and pull hair and bruise eachother every Vday and we both feel amazing after :) maybe were crazy maybe were just happy we are equaly strong and equaly able to take a punch but really its great since were not having sex this is a great way to get out all the years frustrations (fighting or fucking )that is the ?

  53. so i went to work after an hour of sleep and dropped the order of chocolate covered strawberries that belonged to my boss (like, she bought them for her husband). i felt like an asshole and so i gave her my box of chocolate covered strawberries. then i chased kids for a couple of hours before going to school for a math test and then working out. my calve’s burn, but daria’s on, and god do i hate this day. LOVE YOU GUYS THOUGH.

  54. This morning I made up a fake girlfriend to get rid of the creepy old guy hitting on me at the library. He was all “what’s a pretty girl like you doing with a girlfriend? Men not treating you right?”
    I thought, Seriously dude? I’m in a (fake) gay relationship and you’re still trying to flirt with me? And then, that’s right, my gayness is actually just a supply and demand issue. As if I sleep with women for lack of available/decent men. And then I felt pathetic for having an imaginary girlfriend and imaginary valentine’s day plans with her.

    On another note, if the friend you are totally hot for watches the L Word and her favorite character is Shane, she is almost definitely a homo am I right? Also she thinks Cassie from Skins is “really pretty.” She sets off my gaydar but I suspect that may be wishful thinking + too much time spent analyzing things for homoerotic subtext.

    • Wait, you mean you guys sleep with girls because you WANT to? I’ve always done it just because I couldn’t find a man.

    • Say to the guy, “You’re a fucking moron.” He will say some chatter. Repeat, “You’re a fucking moron.” Continued chatter. “You’re a fucking moron.” Continue to reiterate this point.

    • the real lesson here is don’t talk to people at the library, or even make eye contact, unless they are a cute girl. libraries are full of creepers. i say this as someone who works in one.

  55. whiskey + The Carpenters = my Valentine’s Day deal…but in like, the least depressing way possible.

  56. I spent valentines lunch NOT in my first GSA meeting, because my schools administration hasn’t been convinced that we need one yet :( SAD FACE.

    • I believe there’s a legislation or court ruling somewhere that says that if there should be a group of students who want to create a GSA, then the administration is forced to allow them to create one. When we were making it earlier this year, if the admin at my school had rejected our club, we were fully prepared to invoke this. I could look into it more/find actual documents, if you want?

  57. I guess I’m kind of indifferent to the whole valentines shindig, but I feel a bit lonely for a ladylove, is that so pathetic? A cuddle and kissing buddy wouldn’t be so bad…

  58. I remember one year in high school during the week of Valentine’s we did this compatibility test thing to raise money for cheerleading. You could voluntarily do a questionnaire and pay to get a printout of the results (represented by percentages) of the top 10 people with whom you were most compatible. It was meant to be a lighthearted thing but it turned out to be a complete mess. Students filled out the forms for other students, used fake (and often obscene) names, used a different gender to purposefully show up in the results of the same gender as it was assumed everyone wanted to have results for the opposite sex, wrote down random answers, etc. Interestingly, they went through a process to disqualify a lot of the submitted questionnaires instead of just scrapping the idea. Needless to say, they went back to selling carnations the following year.

    As for today though, I went grocery shopping this evening in a practically empty store.

    • oh, I did as well! it was totally eerie how empty tescos was. I very much had dance parties in the aisles while putting things in my basket.

  59. After meeting up with my gay boyfriend for lunch (aren’t they brilliant at valentine’s?) I was given a homemade vegan chocolate cupcake by the girl I’m after, and went to two parties full of beautiful song and laughter and slanty evening sunshine.

    First non-shite v-day ever!

  60. I stayed up till 2 am baking dozens of checkerboard cookies ( ) for my friends and teachers and decorated a jar for the girlfriend, filled it with candy, and generally ignored all things schoolwork. She wrote me the best love letter ever, and if we were out to our friends, I would’ve flaunted it all day. After track practice, we went back to her house and snuggled/wrestled/watched TV/ate/took a nap. Today was a good day. :)

  61. I am writing the most after valentine’s day, which is the time between valentine’s day and tomorrow but is neither one exactly; this is also known as late, the early kind.

    1. I do not remember a single Valentine’s day but this one time when I was still straight and a guy gave me a collage with a picture of a narwhal and a bird of paradise and this was supposed to be a portrait. Best most flattering greeting card ever because these animals are surprisingly real. Also, sorry dude.

    2. Have you seen the new edition of Inferno because there is a drawing of a woman’s lip and in the center of it, it’s burning. I have been thinking about that for weeks. It seems apt. WHY CAN’T I SLEEP.

  62. I spent the night lying on my bed with two friends, watching Fried Green Tomatoes and eating an entire carton of ice cream. This was, in retrospect, not the best idea, since one of us spent the next half hour regurgitating ice cream into the toilet.

  63. I woke up on Valentines Day feeling sorry for me. Made myself some cinder toffee for breakfast. Wrote up some lecture notes. Had a very long conversation with my ex-girlfriend about how we both still are madly in love with each other but she doesn’t want to get back together because her new girlfriend is so perfect. Cried for a bit. Posted about ten depressed love songs on Facebook. Wrote a bitter status about Valentines day. Had my friends do me a shoutout on our local radio station and dedicate the song “All By Myself” to me. Another ex then text me saying happy valentines day, i love you”. PFFT! My friends then came and rescued me and took me to an all you can eat chinese buffet. I ate so much I couldn’t move. We then went to the closest gay bar in a desperate attempt to pull only to be told as we were leaving and had hit on several people that it was a couples night. So I came home and watched the L Word for several hours.

  64. Last Valentine’s Day I was actually, seriously, homeless.

    This Valentine’s Day

    I had drinks with a beautiful friend in a very sexy lounge,

    and then had a beautiful dinner made for me by my beautiful girlfriend,

    and woke up to a lovely letter from the first beautiful friend

    and another lovely letter from a third beautiful lady.

    I have so much goodness in my life.

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