OPEN THREAD: A Case of the Mondays

Feature Image Photography © jmberman1 2009

Wow, so, it’s Monday and everyone is SUPER cranky. Well, all of my friends (I have approximately three friends) are cranky. Also content is trickling in slowly today. Did you know that Rosie O’Donnell is marrying her hot new girlfriend? Well she is. That happened today, so it’s probably a pretty good day for Rosie O’Donnell. If you were to buy a calendar (or t-shirt!) today then it would be a happier day for me and for you and for the post office. Also, somebody found a new planet for us to live on after we destroy this one, which is good news for our unborn children who will probably be just as insane as we are.

“I think this day would have been improved if i had been run over by a truck at the beginning of it.”
– Rachel Kincaid, Senior Editor of

Anyhow, let’s just chat. What are you doing today? What are you having for dinner? Did you see or talk to any cute girls today? Is it cold where you live? Are you prevented from doing your laundry efficiently by a chatty neighbor you just can’t talk to because you are unnaturally averse to small talk? SPILL IT.

Do you know about Brenda Ann Spencer, this total psychopath who went on a shooting spree at an elementary school and when asked why she did it, said “I don’t like Mondays”? That’s fucked up, right?

If you say something really devastatingly amazing and you get like 10,000 +1 votes on your comment, I’ll mail you some stickers, maybe.

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Riese is the 40-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2974 articles for us.


    • … at least you would have been wearing pants. That’s better than I managed.

      I mean, I was wearing spandex (biking to school and it’s COLD in Minneapolis) that was supposed to be under my jeans, but still. I almost made it to the bike room before I had another “oh FUCK WHERE ARE MY PANTS” moments.

      And I think the worst part is that I just had to type “another,” and “moments.”

  1. WTF was with today? My boss (and his wife) were being assholes. Threatening with firing me like I really would care at this point. I don’t know what was wrong with today but it went by slowly and it sucked.

    But I got to see my awesome wife at the end and eat chocolate ice cream so it wasn’t too bad.

  2. my monday was very monday-y. i woke up hungover from closing the bar with friends last night (that part was fun) but today we had a 10 hour work day most of which was spent carrying really heavy things. but i was working with all friends and it’s over now and this glass of wine is really nice, so i guess it wasn’t such a bad day after all.
    and tomorrow is a day off and ….

    wait, rosie’s engaged? wasn’t it just a couple months ago she was living with that other woman and all their kids?

  3. My Monday was a headache! I thought I had lost my Abstract Algebra Final that is due tomorrow and I almost broke down and cried. After feverishly searching my house for over an hour I found it! My friends and family can tell it is finals week so they stay away.
    Weather wise it is a nice 20 degrees where I live and my goal this weekend (if I survive finals) is to go out and find a nice girl and ask her to dinner.

  4. so i work in a pharmacy, and while i was on my break a customer came in and screamed her head off at all the employees on the sales floor for some pharmacy discrepancy that they couldn’t do anything about, and when she finally tore out of the store the front cashier says to her “have a good night!”. so she turns around and goes “FUCK YOU!”

    i miss all the fun.

  5. Plus side: Went to a really great party on the weekend, drank responsibly, gave people backrubs, made friends. Saw a play written by a bunch of people I know twice, enjoyed it greatly, may act in a future production of it. Donated blood for the first time, did not throw up or pass out, was complimented by nurse on my easy-to-draw-from veins. Had some really great sex with my partner post-party, fell asleep together in a cuddly manner.

    Minus side: Upcoming finals include a ten page research paper for my least favorite class. Continued political protests on my campus, though I greatly enjoy being involved in them, wear me out physically and are making my finals even harder due to time lost. And lastly, I’ve just been hit with a scary and not at all fun wave of gender dysphoria, the likes of which I had not felt since high school.

    Conclusion: Well, I still have a lot of badass people in my life and interesting things keep happening to me, so I’d say I’m doing pretty well. And in any case, I have a good therapist.

  6. Today I bought my very first piece of grown-up furniture. It’s not from IKEA or the side of the road or anything! It is a tall chest of drawers and it fits perfectly in the 50 square cm of floor space I had left in my room and the drawers are the exact size of two folded hoodies and it is made of mango wood from a sustainable plantation and it used up my entire week’s pay so I sure hope it tastes good and OMG I LOVE IT.

  7. Its freezing, I have finals I haven’t studied for and my girlfriend doesn’t understand how stressed I am about them. She texted me yesterday saying I was ‘not fun’ because I wouldn’t go out with her and her friends. I need christmas and a break from everything.

  8. Tuesday is officially the new Monday. Or they are both just as bad, I’m in week two of my new job as an au pair and my 6 day spent soaked in my own sweat from running up and down stairs looking for odd shoes, school work and washing. So today feels just as bad as yesterday. I was so tired last night I went to sleep at like 9 and today I have to get started on my two 2000 word essays due in in before Christmas. So I wholly agree that Christmas needs to hurry up and be here pls. Rant over

  9. I’m prevented from doing my laundry because someone found a snake in the laundry room sunday afternoon and I’m now afraid to go in there by myself. Sad, I know.

    (I realise it’s tuesday night, but I’m in the middle of nowhere with limited and slow internet so I’ve just been able to see this post.)

  10. I wish I had seen this yesterday! When I got to work on Monday morning there was NO POWER and it was 42 degrees outside. So I spent an hour and a half bundled in a coat, sitting in the dark with my co-worker while the security and grounds team tried to restore power. No phone. No internet. No hot mint tea. Just coldness and rain outside.

    It was not my favorite way to start a Monday, but the power DID come back on around 10am, so I guess I’m thankful I didn’t spend all day in the cold/dark.

  11. It is Tuesday. I have an interview with a very well-known web company in T minus 2 hours. I have known about this interview for THE PAST MONTH. Yet, I did nothing in prep. I spent all of yesterday looking up places to visit in Europe and I spent almost all of the past 3 hours reading Regina/Emma fanfic, which I just discovered.

    I always seem to “just discover” something just before I have an interview then spend hours catching up on that something instead of prepping for interview. At my level, these interviews aren’t easy to come by and I SHOULD do better prep to at least justify why they ask me in. But no. No, not me. Right now, I am thinking about the hotness that is Regina. And the fire that would come from her coupling with Emma. What I am NOT thinking about are things like stories that demonstrate my three best qualities, why I would be an excellent fit for the position or an example of a time when I had to deal with conflict. Unless that conflict involves deciding whether or not to read ONE MORE Remma (is that the ship’s name?) fic.

    Also. Also my hot landlord came by today at around 2pm and saw me yet again looking like a hobo on account of not having showered or done anything besides brushing my teeth and eating breakfast since morning. I have only one more occasion to dress up when he comes so he can at least realize that I am not an actual slob all of the time.

    All in all I can’t wait for tomorrow to come and bring with it hope for a better day.

  12. Ya…I had the joy of engaging in a texting battle with my girlfriend all night over something I said on Facebook which ended with her dumping me via text, although technically that was Tuesday morning, but does that count if I didn’t go to sleep? Anyhow the moral is Facebook and texting are from the devil. I had my suspisions…but now I know for sure. Yep.

  13. Sunday evening I came out to my straight girl crush and she took it fairly well, so after having a three hour discussion about related topics I was feeling pretty interested to see how Monday would go.

    Monday was decent because I finished my last classes of the semester, finished my English research paper which had been hanging over my head for the last few weeks, and all the while I got another three hours of texting this straight girl crush about nothing in particular. Also my night class got out two hours early. And that allowed me to clean up my place a bit, which also makes me feel better.

    Monday set the bar for this week pretty high though..

  14. Dear Monday,
    Thank you so much for starting out shitty and bleak, and ending with a generous sprinkling Southernly-drawling poetry, cash and grilled halibut by a man who bears an uncanny resemblance to Col. Sanders.
    The Sapphic Stripper

  15. I thought I was the only one having a not good Monday. Maybe there is some kind of astrological event going on (not that I necessarily believe in that stuff)?

    My girlfriend is getting sick and was grumpy all day.
    My best friend’s dog has been fighting cancer and just had to be put down after a really rough night.
    I’m bummed to be home after a fun weekend visiting said best friend out of state (who I only get to briefly see a couple of times per year).
    This particular Monday seems bleh to me.

    It’s saving grace:
    I had a fantastic sandwich from Ike’s Place (in SF). I can appreciate a good sandwich as much as the next person, but I’m not a super huge fan of sandwiches in general (they’re fine, I’d just rather order Thai food or something). With that being said, this place has THE best sandwiches ever. Once I ate there 3 days in a row.

    So I ate a sandwich and watched a couple of episodes of Castle (hello Detective Kate Beckett(!)…and confusing straight girl crush on Nathan Fillion). I was definitely able to salvage the Monday.

  16. My Monday was, for lack of a better word, very Monday-ish.

    It was much improved by three things:
    -the new episode of How I Met Your Mother
    -the sudden departure/moving out of the guy who lived in my building and had been freeloading for the past year
    -buttery microwaved popcorn

  17. there had to be something in the air monday. i thought it was just my day that was sucky but obv it was a thing

    my gf and i got into a fight.
    she got mad at me for buying her an ipad for christmas.
    yep. let me repeat that – she got made at me for buying her an ipad for christmas.

    i have no words. it had to be something off in the universe

  18. Ok, I realize this thread is ancient BUT I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.
    1. I’ve applied for an exchange year in the U.S/Canada. I will be notified if I got it or not tomorrow afternoon: it’s just that I’m 99,9 % sure that I won’t get to go. Right now I’m getting drunk while internet shopping and beating myself up for not having any good extra curriculars (and for not studying enought NUTSACK)

    Does anyone have a more constructive way of handling disappointment? (has to be fairly legal, or not, right now I don’t care)

    On a happier note: Swedish (yay Sweden!) high jumping world champion just came out as a lesbian. Her girlfriend is pretty cute too

    • Don’t know about you but as of today I’m drowning my depression with a subscription to We Have To stop Now season 2, the webseries starring Jill Bennett, Cathy DeBuono, Susan Westenhoefer ….

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