“One Mississippi” Got Cancelled and I’m Going to Set My Television on Fire

AMAZON PRIME, THE STREAMING SERVICE OWNED BY AMAZON DOT COM, TAKES DAILY BATHS IN ENORMOUS VATS OF COLD CASH BECAUSE IT IS RICHER THAN I DREAMED OF BEING WHEN I ASKED MY MOM TO GET ME A PORSCHE FOR HANUKKAH EVEN THOUGH I WAS 8 AND HONESTLY NOT EVEN THAT GOOD AT RIDING A BIKE

AMAZON PRIME CANCELLED SEVERAL PROGRAMS THIS EVENING, INCLUDING “ONE MISSISSIPPI” AND “I LOVE DICK”

THEY DIDN’T REALIZE I’VE RECENTLY MOVED TO THE WEST COAST AND THEREFORE WAS STILL AWAKE ENOUGH WHEN THIS ANNOUNCEMENT WAS MADE TO FIRE UP WORDPRESS

THERE ARE LIKE FIVE BUTCH LESBIANS ON TELEVISION AND AMAZON PRIME JUST CANCELLED TWO OF THEM

ONE MISSISSIPPI WAS BASICALLY PERFECT TELEVISION

EVEN THOUGH AMAZON AND SEESO ARE NOT THE SAME THING, THE FACT THAT I GOT SEESO THROUGH AMAZON MEANS I ASSOCIATE THEM IN MY MIND AND THEREFORE EVEN IF IT’S NOT FAIR FOR ME TO DO THIS I BLAME THEM FOR NOT SAVING “TAKE MY WIFE”

SO I AM GOING TO GO AHEAD AND HOLD AMAZON PRIME RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ERASURE OF FOUR BUTCH LESBIANS (ONE WHO ALSO ID’S AS NON-BINARY) THAT USED TO DO FUNNY SMART THINGS ON MY TEEVEE

IS AMAZON AFRAID OF FEMALES CALLING OUT SEXUAL PREDATORS

IS AMAZON AFRAID OF WOMEN DOMINATING THE CONVERSATION ABOUT WOMEN’S SEXUALITY

DOES AMAZON KNOW THAT ‘THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE’ IS KIND OF BAD

HOW MUCH DID IT COST TO MAKE ONE MISSISSIPPI, I’M SERIOUS, THAT IS A BUDGET PRODUCTION AND WE ALL KNOW IT!!! THE ENTIRETY OF ONE SEASON OF ONE MISSISSIPPI IS SHORTER THAN ‘GONE WITH THE WIND’ AND A LOT LESS RACIST, ALSO IT HAD LIKE FOUR SETS AND MOSTLY UNKNOWN ACTORS

HAS THERE EVER BEEN A TIME IN HUMAN HISTORY WHEN A SHOW THAT SO DEFTLY AND SHARPLY NAVIGATES SEXUAL ASSAULT NARRATIVES IS MORE NEEDED THAN THIS MOMENT?

APPARENTLY AMAZON IS MOVING AWAY FROM ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING AND TOWARD “BIGGER BROADER SERIES WITH THE POTENTIAL TO PERFORM WELL INTERNATIONALLY” AND WE ALL KNOW THAT MEANS LIKE, MEN WEARING BLUISH/GREY OUTFITS AND SHOOTING THINGS AND/OR HAVING INTRIGUE

PROBABLY ALSO IT MEANS CGI GOBLINS OR WHATEVER

YOU KNOW WHO I LIKE TO SEE IN BLUISH/GREY OUTFITS, AMAZON?

MASCULINE-OF-CENTER WOMEN THAT’S WHO

DID ANYONE AT AMAZON WATCH THE SCENE OF “I LOVE DICK” WHERE DEVON SMOKES A JOINT WITH HER SHIRT OFF!?!!!

IF THE BUTCH LESBIAN ON THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL DOESN’T ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING GAY LIKE FOR EXAMPLE SAY “I’M GAY” NEXT SEASON I’M GOING TO BUY MY OWN PAPER TOWELS FROM THE STORE INSTEAD OF SUBSCRIBING AND SAVING (i’m not)

HERE’S A PARAGRAPH TO UNPACK FOR A FEW DAYS:

“All three [CANCELLED] shows were developed under Price, who was fired last year following a sexual-harassment investigation. Prior to his dismissal, Price had been ordered by Bezos to abandon the niche programming strategy that had led to critical and awards success with series such as “Transparent” and “Mozart in the Jungle,” but yielded no broad cross-demographic hits along the lines of HBO’s “Game of Thrones.”

LITERALLY 25% OF THE REASON I SAID TV FOR LESBIAN AND BISEXUAL CHARACTERS IN 2017 WAS PRETTY GOOD WAS BECAUSE OF TIG AND DEVON

ONE MISSISSIPPI WAS ONE OF MY TOP THREE FAVE TV SHOWS OF 2017 AND I WATCHED LIKE 500 TV SHOWS IN 2017 B/C I WAS LIVING ALONE IN A WEIRD HOUSE IN A SEMI-RURAL AREA OF THE MIDWEST (B/C OF MY EX BLA BLA BLA) AND ANYHOW I ONLY HAD ONE FRIEND THERE

I WATCHED ONE MISSISSIPPI WITH MY ONE FRIEND EVEN THOUGH I’D ALREADY SEEN IT AND SHE LOVED IT

AMAZON I HATE YOU EVEN THOUGH WE RELY ON YOU FOR A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF OUR INCOME WE COULD NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT AND I’LL PROBABLY SHOP ON YOU TOMORROW

TIG AND DEVON YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

i love you

i love you

can someone make me some tig and devon gifs

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2656 articles for us.