“Oh Hey! It’s Alyssa” is a biweekly webcomic by Alyssa!
Oh, Hey! It’s Alyssa #27: Boot Straps
![](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/avatars/13984/28397ec53d42d93d1c8f9d90261fdb55-bpfull.jpg?crop=0px%2C0px%2C250px%2C250px&resize=110%2C110&strip=info)
A. Andrews
A. is a totally complete incomplete paraplegic and thirty-something hanky-in-the-pocket cartoonist weirdo!
A. has written 69 articles for us.
Alyssa, this comic hits home for me sooo much. I’ve struggled to learn these lessons all my life, and even after learning them I still struggle to practice them. I grew up learning that I could only depend on myself for the things I wanted to be happy. Being tough, like you said, was the name of the game. True too is that I’d overload myself with impossible expectations and criticize myself when I didn’t make those expectations. I still do from time to time. Learning to accept who I am for who I am has helped, but I really wouldn’t have accomplished that without accepting help from people who saw me facing adversity in the first place. Thank you for this! I just wish I had it ten years ago hah.
If you ever need some help from someone the Philly area, I’d be happy to do what I can!
SAME! It’s been a struggle to learn this and most importantly practice ask people for help or even just letting them know what’s going on.
I am Very Bad at hanging things and Very Short but will gladly poorly hang things too low on your walls. <3 <3 <3
Alyssa! I am good at reaching high things and can totally help hang stuff on your walls if you’re still in Portland. Promise I’m not a serial killer.
Alyssa! yes, yes yes, this is great. Vulnerability is so hard.
Give me a time and place and ill be there :) Portland is that far away you know <3
Also i totally know this feel and i see you. You're amazing.
This is SO RELEVANT. THANK YOU
Thank you for writing/drawing This out so eloquently. I think it’s pretty cool that even if it’s hard for you to be vulnerable with those around you, your comics are so honest and I thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us :)
I relate so much to this comic. My illness is (often) invisible (Crohns), so a lot of people don’t see my vulnerabilities until I disclose my illness, or until they see me sick. And I try so hard to counter this by always being the toughest, strongest, hardest person I can be. I also keep things to myself when they are hard and tend to internalize. Asking for help from my friends is a no-go 95% of the time. But even though I recognize my inability to be vulnerable, I guess I don’t see myself changing that or wanting to change that…at least not for now. I don’t know, still working through this, but thank you for helping me!
vulnerability is the worst; let’s just drink some whiskey.
i mean, um…
<3
*high five*
I am certain I have said this to my therapist many times. Also, “feelings are the worst,” as well.
This comic is like a weekly theme in therapy that my therapist likes to harp on about. “Humans are not solitary creatures. People need other people,” while I roll my eyes at her ;)
This gave me aaaalllll of the feels. I’m really like this, only recently have I started trying to work on this and trying to ask for help when I need it.
Thank you so much for articulating this so beautifully.
PS I’d totally come hang your pictures for you, I’ve finally figured out how to hammer in nails without hammering my fingers!
Ooof. This is something that has taken me a long time to learn and something I struggle with every day. Helping others – easy; asking folks to help me – noooope.
If you ever need help hanging stuff, I’m a short drive from Portland, have a ton of podcasts to catch up on, and despite not seeing straight lines I like hanging pictures.
The comments section restores my faith in humanity. I love and relate to all of this! <3
YES.
As someone with a shitty genetic thing (EDS) these comics hit me so hard (in a good way) every time. I honestly want a print compilation of these to like, hold close and never let go of, so bad.
Hey! First of all thank you, it’s honestly so rad that folks like reading them! I’m working on a book project following similar themes. I will definitely keep you in the loop when that happens!
I (far too often) shout the words, “I’m fine!” and then loudly fall over. I have such an intense fear of being a burden that I’m always pushing myself too far and too hard.
Same.