NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants You To Stop Texting Your Ex At Last

The feature image of Mona Wales and Kaya Lin and all of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from fetish site Mondo Fetiche. The inclusion of a visual here is not an assertion of a model’s gender or orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Mistress Datura, Vanniall

Mistress Datura and Vanniall for Mondo Fetiche

Gender dysphoria doesn’t have to interrupt your sex life. Focus on affirming feelings, explore what feels good on your own and with a partner, and try different touches:

“‘We’re socialized to believe that we’re supposed to pleasure bodies differently depending on anatomy,’ Tanner observes, ‘but it’s far more helpful to pleasure bodies differently depending on gender.’

But even if your body doesn’t look or feel how you want it to look, you can still be touched in the way you want to be touched, as Tanner explains: ‘There’s no reason we have to touch a chest differently simply because it has more tissue. There’s no reason we can’t use a vibrator on a penis or give a hand job to a clitoris.’ Society doesn’t get to decide how you get pleasured; you do.”

Veronica Vixen and Charlie Kicks

Veronica Vixen and Charlie Kicks for Mondo Fetiche

Here’s how to tell a partner about your past trauma, if you want to:

“Sometimes the lasting effects of trauma will be evident. You might be noticeably untrusting or nervous around your new boyfriend or girlfriend or react to triggers in front of them. Other times, the scars are totally invisible, and they may not have any idea you’ve gone through something.

Only you know your exact situation, both in relation to the source of your trauma and in your current relationship, so only you know exactly how to approach the inevitable conversation. No matter what, plan it out to the best of your ability in advance.”

Amazon Maddox and Francisco St. Laurent

Amazon Maddox and Francisco St. Laurent for Mondo Fetiche

Venus is in Leo.

If you’re not vaccinated, glory holes are still your safest hook-up option. For everyone else: it’s cautious sex party time. Here’s what a few post-accute-phase sex parties have looked like.

It would be fine if dating apps stopped trying so hard.

Here’s how to tell if your argument style is healthy.

Cleo Clementine, Frankie T

Cleo Clementine and Frankie T for Mondo Fetiche

Celibate intimacy and friendships are important, beautiful, and worth preserving:

“Whatever term one uses, valuing the intimacy of friendship helps us reconsider our responsibility to others. When we care for people who are neither relatives nor romantic partners, taking them to the hospital or providing them with meals, they inch toward a world in which people commit themselves to the well-being of the broader public. Taking the intimacy of friends at least as seriously as that of other relationships, ultimately, can be a means of reconsidering how people keep each other alive.”

Amazon Maddox and Francisco St. Laurent

Amazon Maddox and Francisco St. Laurent for Mondo Fetiche

Everyone’s breaking up, everyone’s getting together, everyone’s texting their ex. For your consideration: block them instead:

“Here’s the hard truth: Not only do you not need to see that person’s posts, but they don’t need to see yours. If you’re holding off on blocking your ex because you think you want them to be able to see you thriving or looking good, get real with yourself. You’re making excuses to put off cutting them out of your life.”


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carolyn

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1135 articles for us.

8 Comments

    • Yeah it was an odd article, starting from talking about useless dating app updates to just complaining about dating app users. I personally prefer a wordy dating profile myself, but what I really wanted was a discussion of how tech companies constantly ruin a perfectly fine thing. Wtf is a superlike okc.

    • Ya. I couldn’t tell if my reaction to the article was just bitterness, though – I am a serial “write a novel in a dating app profile”-ist and I will never change. But I also prefer to match with people who also infodump all over their profiles?

      Honestly, what I really want dating apps to do is let me do whatever the Hell I want. (And also to stop selling data, that will never not creep me out)

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