It’s commonly agreed that Corporate Pride™ is the worst. But here’s a hot take: sometimes we all want to be the worst. That’s why I’m offering you a unique opportunity to spend 5 minutes getting all the evil consumerist urges you’ve ever experienced out of your system to discover which bastion of capitalist exploitation you'd be in your worst nightmares!
Be bad, be greedy, be unscrupulous. But most importantly, do it all at 2.5mph while topless gay men gyrate around you!
Which Corporate Pride Float Are You?
You've Reached A+ Content!
Autostraddle cannot survive without reader support. That's why we have our A+ Member program and A+ content like this, as thanks to readers like you who keep Autostraddle here for our whole community. Will you join A+?
A+ members keep this site majority free-to-read, so sometimes we have bonus content for members as thanks! A+ membership starts at just $4/month or $30/year. If you can, will you join? You get access to bonus content like this post, insider information, behind-the-scenes laughs, and the singular satisfaction of knowing you’re helping to pay it forward for other readers and that you're keeping this bastion of queerness on the internet here for everyone.
99% of our readers do not support. That means that less than 1% of our readers are keeping this site running. Will YOU be one of the people who helps to keep this indie queer media site here for everyone?
We don't need one person to do it all, we need many people each doing a part. Every member makes a difference!
Already a member? Sign in