Which Corporate Pride Float Are You?

It’s commonly agreed that Corporate Pride™ is the worst. But here’s a hot take: sometimes we all want to be the worst. That’s why I’m offering you a unique opportunity to spend 5 minutes getting all the evil consumerist urges you’ve ever experienced out of your system to discover which bastion of capitalist exploitation you'd be in your worst nightmares!

Be bad, be greedy, be unscrupulous. But most importantly, do it all at 2.5mph while topless gay men gyrate around you!

Which Corporate Pride Float Are You?

How many rainbows is enough rainbows?(Required)
Pick your pride anthem:(Required)
You’re pulling an all-nighter designing your pride float. Pick a film to keep you company:(Required)
You work for an advertising company that’s hit on the genius idea that you can hijack the entire LGBTQ acronym to sell more stuff! But what will LGBTQ stand for in your corporate fantasy:(Required)
You’ve been partying 13 hours straight and have a hankering for some food that is just like regular food but is wrapped in rainbow packaging? Anyway, pick one:(Required)
Ok, you’ll need to wash that down with a rainbow-packaged beverage now, won’t you?(Required)
You’ve been hit with a class action lawsuit because your company’s been dumping effluent into municipal water supplies. What a downer! Determine your course of action:(Required)
Oh no, you've run out of pride merch! Quick - grab something from the office that you can stick some rainbows on:(Required)
Pick a pair of hot pants:(Required)
You’ve just launched your pride range of products with a splashy campaign on Instagram. Someone asks how much of the proceeds you’ll be donating to gay causes. Quick - make something up!(Required)
You’ve been hired to create diversity and inclusion training videos for a large corporation. You really want a celebrity to appear in them who will appeal to the company’s cis white hetero board while not caring how badly they treat their employees. What celeb do you go for?(Required)
It's finally time for the pride march! But what rainbow-emblazoned transport will you take to get there?(Required)


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Sally lives in the UK. Her work has been featured in a Korean magazine about queer people and their pets, and a book about haunted prisons. She never intended for any of this to happen.

Sally has written 80 articles for us.