March Madness is Still a Thing: NCAA Women’s Basketball Championship

Notre Dame

I hope you’re still keeping up with the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament! The further teams make it in the tournament, the happier they are, and the more they embrace. Then we get pictures like the one for this story. Everybody wins! Right?

Wrong. Unfortunately, Courtney Vandersloot’s epic dismantling of every team’s defense came to an end when Gonzaga lost to Stanford on Monday. Gonzaga was the only team that wasn’t supposed to be there. An eleven seed in a sea of ones and twos, most of which make it to the Elite 8 fairly often. It may not be much of a consolation prize but my friend thinks Vandersloot is cute and after she scored 18 points in a row I admitted I would be okay with her having my babies. So congrats to her on those accomplishments…and her career or something.

Notre Dame’s upset of Tennessee prevented a Connecticut v. Tennessee match up. A lot of people were looking forward to that game since the rivals no longer play during the regular season. The money I would have paid to see Geno Auriemma’s face when Tennessee lost. Zero dollars to be exact because he will have that same smug face on the majority of their next game anyway.

Connecticut put a shellacking on Duke. The tournament this year has seen some exciting upsets but a one seed beating a two seed by 35 points is a reminder that the women’s game is still lacking parity. But progress is progress is lesbians. I think that’s how that saying goes.

#1 UConn over #2 Duke 75-40
#2 Notre Dame over #1 Tennessee 73-59
#1 Stanford over #11 Gonzaga 83-60
#2 Texas A&M over #1 Baylor 58-46

The Final Four is a pretty big deal. It’s like a lesbian gathering for people who knew who Dinah Shore was before Dinah Shore weekend. If you would like to take part in the festivities from your own home or from the home of the hot girl you picked up at a sports bar, the semi-finals are Sunday April 3rd at 7pm ET on ESPN. Past scores, game times, and the bracket are also available.

Did anyone predict this Final Four?
How cute is Skylar Diggins?
Will Connecticut beat Notre Dame for the fourth time this season?

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Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.


  1. Sad about Gonzaga, but they had a great run. Now I’m all for Stanford winning it all, I’ve been waiting for them to win the championship since about 1996.

  2. 1) I’m so over Uconn v. Tenn for the next decade. The same for both those teams winning another championship. Over.It.

    b) I had a strong feeling Notre Dame was going to take Tenn and send Pat Summit off scowling.

    “Neutral” court in Indianapolis, I’d like to see the Irish take this game. They are gelling really well right now.

  3. Texas viewers are REELING over the upset of A&M beating Baylor. Nobody I know called it.

  4. I’m a “Former Student” of Texas A&M and even I was saying under my breath that Baylor was going to win. It was so awesome to have the game going on my radio and hanging onto every call the announcer made. The Texas A&M family is SO excited about this.

  5. I do not think TAMU beating Baylor was really a upset. They had played 3x already and the last couple of times TAMU blew the lead. I think people who follow women’s bball saw that coming. I also think the Baylor coach knew it was a possibility because she was not happy with the tournament draw because she knew that she would have to get through TAMU to make it to the final four. But, then again I am a longhorn and follow the big 12.

    • I’m a Longhorn and was rooting for Baylor just so i could see more Brittany Griner speeches. I still can’t believe she blew that dunk. Now i just cheer for any Texas teams. Go A&M! (so hard to say that).

    • Are her speeches good? I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to one. I was definitely wondering aloud why she doesn’t dunk more right before she missed that one. Brutal.

  6. 1. Like Jules, I’m over UConn and Tennessee. I was really hoping Duke would be able to make it but eh.

    2. Skylar Diggins isn’t just cute, she is FINE. Good thing Notre Dame is my second favourite team.

    That being said, clearly I hope ND takes it all. It’ll help me get over the disappointment of not hearing anymore Griner speeches lol

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