I missed this news earlier this week (because clearly, no one loves me) and I don’t want you to make my mistake! So if you will please, allow me to set the scene: On Tuesday, it was National Coming Out Day. Rachel Maddow and Melissa Etheridge were on Andy Cohen’s “Watch What Happens Live” and he made the lesbian icons with much better things to do, rank our silly little pop culture internet lives. It’s great.
Questions I thought while watching, in order:
- Melissa Etheridge is so swaggy? Effortlessly. 90s dykes live their best lives.
- Rachel Maddow and Melissa Etheridge both have perfect lesbian slouches. Should I practice my slouch more? Is that a thing one… practices?
- Melissa Etheridge: “[Halloween] is the only time we want to put make up on, ever.” M’am!? Speaking on behalf of high femmes everywhere, this is erasure!
- They do not care that Madonna maybe came out in a TikTok over the weekend, which? Fair. But also it got Autostraddle a lot of hits this week. So.
- Rachel Maddow on Billy Eichner’s Bros: “I’m just excited that there’s a big studio gay movie now… because that means the lesbians will get one in 40 years.” (This is not a question. She’s correct.)
- The next set of Andy’s prompts involves a brand of white people pop culture that I know nothing about: White people, y’all alright over there?
- OK I’m back in focus! Lesbian Velma!! Is this most Rachel Maddow has ever laughed in her entire life? Did I ever know her laugh was this sexy? Should I be thirsting for this nerd on this website right now?
- Melissa Etheridge believes that the lesbian community is holding the up base for the gay mourning of Queen Elizabeth, umm????
- Rachel Maddow saw Tatiana Maslany as a 7ft green She-Hulk and immediately said “gimme!” (again, this is not a question)
- I’m of an age where I should know better, but will I mature past the phase where I just want Rachel Maddow to make me waffles and read me the Sunday headlines in her robe?
- I will not.
There’s also a seven-minute after show that includes such greatest hits as Melissa Etheridge recalling the time she out partied Wesley Snipes. Enjoy!