Who’s Winning the Televisionary Hot Girl Award & Other Pressing Questions

HOT GIRLS: Who is winning the Autostraddle Televisionary Hot Girl Award? Well, we can’t tell you that. Voting closes on Wednesday morning which means Mindy Kaling there is still lots of time for you to plug yourself on your blog (it would be a good excuse to update!).

We will tell you the top five so far! there is still time, ladies & gents & two-spirits, to turn this boat right around. Howevs, J-Beals is a tough cookie to beat, b/c she is hot and b/c her fans are very serious about winning these kinds of things:

1. Jennifer Beals
2. Sara Ramirez
3. Margaret Cho
4. Eliza Dushku
5. Portia De Rossi

winona ryder does her best jo march

winona ryder does her best jo march

WHO IS THE REAL LOUISA MAY ALCOTT? I know what you’re thinking — it’s Jo March Tomboy Prototype, obvs! Well, not exactly — and the new movie The Woman Behind Little Women, which premieres tonight on PBS, digs deeper into Alcott’s biography & life. For example, the Real Louisa was motivated primarily by a desire not to be poor, which is why she published a great deal of “pulp fiction”/”moral pap for the young” under psuedonyms for the financial returns. These stories discussed things like “sexual desire, drug-users, spies and transvestites!” Though her father was a part of some of the most influential political circles of their time, he was never a breadwinner, and the Alcotts were way more poor than The Marches. Books like Little Women supported the fam.

Our favorite part of Louisa, however, is what a kickass feminist she was:

“She saw her mother really dependent on this improvident husband,” Reisen explains. “She saw the position of most married women — who she felt were marrying as an economic solution … and she said, ‘I love luxury, but freedom and independence better.’ “

Here’s a snippet from the film —  please note the soundbyte at 3:20, and really all ensuing clips involving The Literary Sleuths, the most amazing women to ever grace your computer screen (@npr):

WHEN ARE LINDSAY LOHAN AND SAM GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER? Streets of ManhattanLindsay Lohan has been out in public at a hockey game in New York City. She appeared normal, had all of her clothes on, and did not at any point tweet Samantha Ronson as far as we know. She looks super cute and healthy! Anne Heche, the Original Celebisexual, was also at the game, which is interesting. We prefer Lindsay.

V-DAY: Did the Valentine’s Day movie trailer go out of its way to hide a gay couple? The trailer “focuses on [Bradley] Cooper and co-star [Julia] Roberts, to the point where it looks like they have a romantic storyline together in the film, even though it has been public knowledge since at least May that Cooper would be playing a gay man in the film.” (@jezebel)

WHAT WILL LAST FOREVER? 12 things that became obsolete in the 00s. For the record, Intern Emily still loves film and handwritten letters. Paper will last forever. (@huffpo)

WHAT WILL NOT LAST PAST THE 00s? Jezebel also did a similar piece, except theirs is fads that are here today but will be gone in 10 years and it’s really funny. Remember—just 5 years ago, there was no such thing as YouTube and Twitter has only been around for three years. By 2020, we’ll all be holograms walking through walls and living under robot control anyway, so I guess we’ll just have to see what technology they give us to use throughout the Robot Kingdom. (@jezebel)

WHAT IS SERENA WILLIAMS DOING ON THE HSN? Serena Williams is selling things on the HSN but more importantly, she is the female athlete of the year, therefore proving that you should yell at people if they deserve it and you will still get the respect you deserve if you are awesome, and luckily she is awesome. Brava! (@bossip)

GAGA: Would you pay $25,000 to see Lady Gaga on New Year’s? Maybe if I sold both my parents’ cars I would have close to enough money to pay for that. Also, here’s a bunch of amazing scans from her Fame Monster book, which btw Autostraddle’s own Robin Roemer has a photo in! (@ohnotheydidnt)

MOVIES: How Can I See All The Films of the 00s Before 2010? Watch this – a YouTube user named Kees van Dijkhuizen has compiled a truly spectacular seven-minute video, he is a King Among Editors.

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3198 articles for us.


  1. Woah. I’m kinda-sorta supprised Margaret Cho & Sara Ramirez are top contenders. I saw a Cho show a couple months ago. Seriously, almost peed myself, so funny. Oh JBeals, your fans are so loyal.

  2. Pingback: Who's Winning the Televisionary Hot Girl Award & Other Pressing … CXO ceo cfo cto coo cio

  3. I loved Little Women, Little Men and Jo’s Boys when I was younger. The books, obvs. I think I was in love with Jo. Then the movie came out and I was smitten, for sure.

    I’m glad that LiLo went out in public looking normal and healthy and happy… girl was really starting to worry me. I hate it when celebs start to crash/burn and people rejoice.

    Even if I had the money. That is beyond ridiculous. Plus I am already pissed at her for her limited tour locations. Now she has the nerve to charge 2 years tuition to see her. She needs to slow her roll, seriously.

    • For serious. It’s totally not worth it. I’m used to paying very little money for indie concert tickets, so even the price for a regular Gaga gig was too much for me. I paid like $20 to go to a YYYs show and I can’t imagine a Gaga concert being any better than that truly life-changing experience.

      • I consider $40 expensive to see a show. I bet people wish they had seen Lady Gaga before she was Lady Gaga in some crappy NY bar for free now.

        • I’m considering paying more to see Tegan and Sara in February, but there’s two of them. And they’re cute. And they tell jokes/stories. And they’re cute. And there’s two of them. And they’re cute….. Oops. Heh. <>

        • The most I have ever paid was like $109, for R. Kelly. I didn;t even spend over a hundred for Janet, Mariah Carey, Usher, or Beyonce. $125 is my max and even that is pending on the person.

          Haha I think those are all really valid reasons to spend more money on Tegan and Sara. I was going to try and go to another TnS show in Feb but all the good seats were gone. I was going to crank out about a $75-$90 to be in a seated front row venue, in addition to the $45 I already spent for the other show. My love is that deep…

    • It’s not Gaga’s event. It’s an event that she’s performing at. I highly doubt she has any control over ticket prices for it. The Fontainebleau is ridiculous.

      The Monster Ball is also NYE, and there were tickets available for $23. So, I’m going to that :D

  5. Y’all may kick me off the site, but…. I really don’t get that whole Samantha Ronson thing. Unless she’s way cuter and hella charming in person. Of course, I also think Kristen Stewart looks more like Helena Bonham Carter than Kate Moennig, so it could just be me. ::puzzled::

    • Well I am sort of personally banking on the idea that there’s more to a lady than the way she looks? Or at least that’s what my MOm told me.

  6. That Valentine’s Day movie… how do they even get that many stars to sign on? It is clearly destined to be horrible

  7. That cinema thing reminded me of all the films I wanted to see this year and didn’t – what was I doing all year?!

    • not spending 11-13 dollars on movies I guess… I still wanna see most of those movies.that is why netflix is my friend

    • Yeah, I feel like the only ones in there that I saw where 500 Days of Summer, Sunshine Cleaning, Away We Go, The Fantastic Mr. Fox… and Transformers 2… clearly that last one was a fluke, hrm.

      • haha I saw the same as you, minus transformers and fantastic mr fox..and only saw 500 days of summer today— but I got a movie theatre gift card I can use now. yay

        • I did not see any movies this year! I see movies on DVD or on the TV, but never in the theater.

          This is a chronic problem and I blame it on NYC or perhaps adulthood and chronic stress & anxiety, clearly living in Manhattan has ruined me as a moviegoer!

          In 2009 I have seen no movies in the theater.
          In 2008 I saw Milk, Sex and the City, and Rachel Getting Married.
          In 2007 I saw Juno.
          In 2006 I saw Shortbus, Dreamgirls, Borat and Hav made me go to The DaVinci Code & The Breakup.
          In 2005 I saw Rent, Crash and Me and You and Everyone We Know. (I also saw Closer again two more times)
          In 2004 I MOVED TO NYC and I saw Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Stepford Wives, Fahrenheit 9/11, Napoleon Dynamite, Saved!, Garden State, I Heart Huckabees, Super Size Me, Kinsey, and Closer.

      • Oh wait, and I saw Whip It! And the Toy Story 3D Double Feature, but I don’t think that was in there… ;)

  8. Pingback: Who's Winning the Televisionary Hot Girl Award & Other Pressing … Desires

  9. Guys, Louisa May Alcott was a total lesbo!

    I have citations!

    “In an interview with the writer Louise Chandler Moulton, [Alcott] later commented with pre-Freudian candor on her own feelings: ‘I am more than half-persuaded that I am a man’s soul, put by some freak of nature into a woman’s body … because I have fallen in love in my life with so many pretty girls and never once the least bit with any man.'”

    Yes, yes, we shouldn’t project our modern understanding of sexuality onto the past… but… damn! Total lesbo! It makes so many things make sense!

  10. That Cinema 2009 video is mad uplifting homiez. It may just be the Arcade Fire song though. I can’t tell.

  11. Oh my. I just realized I’ve seen at least 30 movies this year. #addicted And I wonder why I can’t pay my car insurance… I should get paid to do this.

  12. Lindsay Lohan did not tweet Samantha Ronson because she did not need to. They have gotten back together yet again and spent 3 nights together in a row. I’ll let others judge if this is good or bad.

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