Listling Without Commentary: Shit You Weirdos Are Allergic To

Guests registering for the first ever Autostraddle A-Camp in Southern California are allergic to a lot of things.  I stole a sneak-peak at the seemingly quite complicated spreadsheet keeping track of your identity/money/needs and was really impressed by the variety of things y’all just CANNOT HANDLE! (For the record, I’m allergic to cats, dogs, ragweed and metronidazole.) I’ve been told that there’s even an Autostraddle group for people with allergies, so check that out.

Things Y’all Are Allergic To:

1. Henna
2. Aspartame
3. Kiwi
4. GMO soy
5. Avocado
6. Cats
7. “Kind of grass.”
8. Strawberries
9. Lamb
10. Amoxicillin
11. Venison
12. Ginger
13. Olives
14. Dairy
15. Papaya
16. Buffalo
17. Tetracycline
18. Squash
19. Honey
20. Cashews
21. “Fire ants, maybe.”
22. Lavender
23. Penicillin
24. Bees
25. Milk
26. Beef
27. Sulfa Meds
28. Shrimp
29. Bactrim (antibiotic)
30. Crustaceans
31. Walnuts
32. Bananas
33. Garlic
34. Onions
35. Dogs
36. Horses
37. Fragrance mix
38. “Trees and also air.”

Riese is the 38-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2843 articles for us.


  1. How is their no peanut allergies?
    Is this some kind of lesbian thing cuz we are all peanut butter lovers?

    I swear peanut allergies are a new problem and don’t remember them
    being such a huge concern when I was in school, but people freak out
    about that shit these days.

  2. I’m allergic to gluten, tomatoes, corn, coco, shellfish, most cold water fish, yeast, grass, pretty much every other plant anywhere, dogs, cats, amoxicillin, fragrances, almonds and possibly dairy. I think there are more fruits, but I can’t remember any of them.

      • How have you people survived so long on this planet? I can’t even conceive of all of this..I roll through life eating gluten like a glutton, covered in various animal hair (domestic and non-domestic) and never having to hesitate before touching something or putting something in my mouth (yeah, I said it) and until now never gave it a thought…I AM SO DAMNED SORRY!!!

  3. I’m mildly allergic to the sun and HIGHLY allergic to silicone. The only thing anyone ever says when they hear this is “OH, SO NO BREAST IMPLANTS FOR YOU!! HAHAHA!!”

  4. Today, as I was having ice cream with a coworker and trying to identify all the ingredients in it, I was remarking how incredibly grateful I am that I am not allergy to any foods (except, minorly, carrots). Still not sure what-all was in that ice cream.

  5. Well, my walnut “allergy” is really only a sensitivity (it gives me a rash and triggers my asthma) so if it is adversely affecting the A camp budget, it’s not a big deal to me.

    My cat (who I’m supposedly allergic to) has worse allergies than me. He’s on pills and a gluten free diet and sneezing at my feet as I type.

    This was a good reminder that I need to finish the questionairre already. Let me go do that now…

  6. Everything but the sun pretty much sums up my allergies.

    Trees, hay, grass, dogs, cats, bees, pollen, certain brands of make up, scented laundry detergent and dryer sheets.

    Oh yeah and I have asthma.

    I promise I’m a real catch when I’m medicated.

  7. I was in great need of some cheering up today and Autostraddle did that for me. I have allergies too! And I’m the only one in my family/friends group with any issues so they always make fun of me.
    I’ve got numbers: 6, 7, 14, 21, 22, 24, 25, 35, 37, 38
    Plus pineapple, oranges, limes, sometimes lemons and any citrus really, rodents, farm animals but not horses, birds and feathers, lots of scents/fragrances, all flowers and pollens, arythromyacin, advair, excedrine, coconut, bees and yellow jackets (I don’t know if I put down that number.), uh… wool, bed bug bites, dust, dust mites, fleas, sand fleas, ticks, cockroaches, saltwater, everything they do on those allergy tests…
    I also have asthma, neuropathy and fibro myalgia. Which makes me sensitive to humidity, air pressure, temperature, sitting still and standing up, walking and lying down, sea level…
    Oh I forgot mold. Mold almost killed me once. I don’t wear make up but probably that too. Some laundry detergent, tons of soap, probably fish but not snowcrabs, camels, emu and ostriches, airfresheners! And candles, deodorants, Always Infinity pads apparently, sausage and grease, my own hair/dandruff, What else? Probably berries… smoke…incense…honeysuckle… maybe soy because I’ve never had it.
    Also, does it count if I have a thing where I can eat weird textures without throwing up, like mashed potatoes, pudding, jello, custard, and things?
    There are more things but I don’t know them all.

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