Wow, World. Good job with the news! No but this is funny — I live in Oakland, the HQ of this Rapture operation. I had NO IDEA that anybody else in the world knew anything about the billboard I’ve been biking past since I moved here. But apparently it’s a thing! EVERYWHERE! Here’s a selection of the 5,000,000 headlines of the 5,000,000 articles/posts published yesterday by upstanding news outlets all over the world:
1. Last Supper Meal Ideas Before the “Rapture” Hits
2. 17 Doomsday T-Shirts
3. If Apocalypse Comes, what happens to football
4. Apocalypse Owww
5. It’s the End of the World As We Know it! What’s On Your Bucket List?
6. Eight Drinks to Toast Armageddon
7. Stoner Jesus Reacts To The “Coming Rapture”
8. THE RAPTURE: WHY THE WORLD REALLY COULD END TOMORROW
9. May 21, 2011: What Will the Weather Be on Judgment Day?
10. Americans Ready Amid Fear the End is Near
11. 10 Things IT Groups Need to Know About the Rapture
12. Celebrities Respond to the Rapture
13. 5 Smartphone Apps You Need to Try Before the Rapture
14. So The Rapture Is Saturday — Luckily The Grey’s Anatomy Finale Was Last Night
15. Celebrating Doomsday in Song
16. If Your Pets Are Left Behind at the Rapture
17. Rapture: Money Opportunities for Judgment Day
18. Is Harold Camping’s Doomsday Affecting Your Travel Plans?
19. 4 Social Media Tools & Tips for the Rapture
20. Yes, It’s Another Rapture Story
21. World to End Saturday — Now Russians Know It Too
20. My Last Column
23. Doomsday: It’s the Gay’s Fault
love #23.
Gays do have the power!
I like that it’s “Gay’s” instead of “Gays”. Not sure if that is the original or an oops from here, but I still find it amusing. Damn that one gay! If only we knew which one of us it was, we could find them and have a proper judgement day party with armageddon drinks, smartphone apps, and doomsday songs.
I just heard about this end of the world thing yesterday.
If the world ends this evening, at least I’ll be drunk at a big gay stagette party!
Does this mean that a Democrat in the White House in 2012 is a lock?
Not to nitpick, but shouldn’t #23 be “It’s the Gays’ Fault”? I mean, since it’s all of our collective fault, and not just one person named Gay?
Nitpicking is probably why I got left behind.
Can’t wait to meet this person named Gay..
I have a friend whose Mum is called Gaynor, she get’s nicknamed Gay, it’s actually her fault…
Actually! At work I encountered someone named Gaye Seller…
http://www.thegic.org/group/gayandlesbianinternationalrights/forum/topics/1-day-left-until-judgment-day?xg_source=activity
#16. Did you know you can pay people so they can take care of your pets in case you are not saved..
Which is weird ’cause if only 2% of the people are saved, what are the odds that these people will live to take care of your pets?
Also when I read #21 and the next was #20, I thought.. Oh no, countdown begins..
The rapture thing is that you’re taken up to heaven isn’t it? (The Left Behind books were somewhere in my past) So the idea is that you’ll go up to heaven and a non-believer will still be on earth and care for your dog or cat or pet alligator or whatever. I also feel like Aslan factors in here somewhere.
No, as far as I know, 2% of the population gets saved, the rest goes up (or down) for judgement…
No, rapture is where the true believers get taken up, then there’s the 7 years of tribulation before the second coming (reading Fred Clark’s take down of the Left Behind books can come in handy)
I’m still here… Guess I’m not a true believer. Party on ;)
My friend just had the best idea on facebook-> “Kinda want to fill blow-up dolls with helium and release them so people think the rapture has started. :)” ….Quick, everyone run to your local blow up doll/helium emporium and we’ll go and piss off some crazy fundamentalist christians!
Your comment just made me want to watch that Six Feet Under episode where that kind of happens by accident.
Six Feet Under beat you to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDkN7L6r27s
I knew they’d somehow try to blame this one on Lindsay Lohan! (#23)
How about this:
Springs Resident Takes Heat for Plans to Kill Pets Pending Doomsday
I hate people.
This is one of my favorites, for the Jewishly inclined:
“Is Post-Rapture Looting Permitted on Shabbos?”
http://zeek.forward.com/articles/117281/
lol it’s my birthday. I’ll be pissed if the world ends today :P
Happy birthday!
thanks :)
Uuuuhhh….Hong Kong is still on the map and it’s already tomorrow there.
Also, tomorrow is my birthday and NOTHING will mess up that dinner dammit.
Happy birthday tomorrow!
Okay so up there ^ we have someone whose birthday is today – Saturday – and someone whose birthday is Sunday. Mine is Monday. Anyone for Tuesday?
my mum.
Guess I wasn’t home for rapture..
http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/ef27359c-9ef3-4855-93b9-49472751fc9b.jpg
So…damn, this means I still have to pay my student loans. Well, at least I live to see another good day.
today me and my brother stocked up on alcohol for our rapture after party tonight
EXCITED
I was listening to the news just now
First item. Volcanic eruption in Iceland
Second Item. End of the world
coincidence?
Yes.
I spent the end of the world in a park with a bunch of Phillystraddlers and Nutella. I feel it went well.
i feel as though the designer poster didn’t clearly think through his artistic choices. he’s just asking for a 14-year-old to spray paint poo under the praying[?] man.
And here I thought it was an artistic choice to show rapture-induced constipation.
. . . no?
Are they all going to castrate themselves and order pot pies at Denny’s like those other people? Cause that was awesome.
I have no idea what you are referring to but I really enjoyed the post out of context on its own.
It gets better, they all got the same haircuts, put on the same shoes, covered each other with purple cloths, and committed mass suicide so that they could be beamed into a spaceship that was riding the tail of a comet.
Oh man, Heaven’s Gate. GOOD TIMES.
Oh it is from a movie. My best guess was someone found Tom Cruise’s marriage vows.
No way honey, that was real life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven's_Gate_(religious_group)
I am so glad this will be over soon. Everyone’s comment to everything for the past week has been “Well it doesn’t matter since the world is ending Saturday.” It wasn’t that funny the first time, definitely not funny the following 86 times.
ugh, or the “like if you don’t think the world is ending tomorrow.” stop trying to get likes, its not going to happen.
Yo May 21st, I’m really happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but Y2K was the greatest end of the world of all time. OF ALL TIME!
oh man, Y2K was pretty epic, and you could buy those little clocks that countdown till the actual moment. I’m sure my dad still has one around that’s perpetually counting down to Y2K of the past because it couldn’t handle the lack of world ending.
If that clock were sentient, it would be having such an existential crisis right now due to a lack of purpose in life.
so me being gay is the reason i didnt get killed in my car accident last night??? R.I.P. driver side mirror, R.I.P.
p.s. love the kanye ref above me
i’m really happy you’re still alive.
So… We are in heaven? Its 22 and nothing happen im sad ahahahahah!
I was kind of really hoping that I’d wake up Sunday and all the religious nutjobs would be gone.
What’s up with that Rasputin quote? Not that I don’t have a sneaking respect for Rasputin, but it seems a little out of character for the kind of people who go around putting up billboards about the Rapture. Don’t those people tend to be against sin, as a general priniciple?
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