Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board: Join the AS Editors for a Virtual Slumber Party!

Have you heard we’re having a fundraiser? JK of course you have! Thank you for sticking with us through it; we know hearing about it constantly can be monotonous, especially for those of you who have already given, and we’re grateful for your patience and your support. To thank you for being here — and getting us to $25K and now well beyond! — we’re hosting a little slumber party.

All the Autostraddle senior editors are here, coming to you straight from our quarantine to yours with love and possibly a small drink. Also joining us is our A+ and Fundraising Director Nicole, who your last fundraiser allowed us to search for and hire! Ask her about her ghost!

Party Guests (+ You!)

We’re here all night long to hang out with you – we have our soft pants on, scrunchies in our hair, and a bowl of popcorn. We’re ready to chat, answer your questions, dish about your personal life, and play virtual truth or dare. Have questions about how the fundraiser is going? Want advice about how to make your quarantine Lex ad? Want to show us a picture of your pet? (Please say yes.) You can join the urban legends and scary stories thread! What spooked you at sleepovers (or were you the one scaring the other kids? we see you)! It’s been a lonely time, and we’re excited to be able to keep you company.

Want to play Never Have I Ever with us?

Here’s the rules: 1) From 6-7pm PST put one statement about something YOU have never done as a comment on this post. Example: “Never have I ever eaten pizza with anchovies” or “Never have I ever lived with a cat” 2) Come back from 7pm PST through the end of the night. 3) Put 5 fingers up, get a pen and paper, get 5 Pogs, an abacus — whatever your preferred counting method and go through each of the Never Have I Ever comments, first to last. Every time you’ve DONE one of the things, you lose a finger / point / Pog, and when you have no more, you’re OUT. Then, comment on the comment that got ya. Person who gets the farthest gets bragging rights.


How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
code it in to your comment like so:

<img src=”//imagelink.jpg”” />

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out A.E.’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

Find a video on YouTube, copy the URL, and paste the link on its own separate line in your comment. You no longer need to use the “embed” code!

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532 Comments

  1. Truth #5: have you ever played Sims 4 on Mac and found that all of the walls and floors kinda always looks blue regardless of the colors you’ve actually painted it or floored it and what time of day it is? If so, how did you fix it?

    • I got drunk my senior year of high school after “a boy broke my heart” (we both grew up to be gay, soooo…)

      Anyway my best friend did the right thing, by which I mean she went downstairs to open up her parents “off limits” liquor cabinet, and we spent the the night in her room drinking a bottle of Bacardi. We got pretty wasted and when her little brother (who was about 14?) complained about the smell, we didn’t believe him. BUT THEN HER MOM CAME HOME!!! And she marched right up to the bedroom!!

      The room must have wreaked from the rum, but she played it real cool. We pretended to be asleep and she stood there until we “woke up” — made us look her in the eye and say goodnight! Then she left us to be embarrassed and alone lol.

      The next morning she made us pancakes. Never said a word.

    • I was 18 years old sitting up late watching Weeds at my dad’s house the summer before college. I had never had a drink before but figured I would “need to know” what it felt like before I left for college a few months later, so I went into the fridge and made a screwdriver with Simply Orange and Grey Goose. It was pretty strong, but I put enough orange juice in it that I couldn’t really taste the vodka. I didn’t realize how drunk I was until I went to stand up to go to bed and realized I was too unstable to walk properly. So I crawled up the stairs on all fours and fell asleep on my bedroom floor.

      • I was 20 and worked as a security guard at a dorm. (It was a great way to get paid to write papers and crochet, and I also lived in the dorm, so commute was minimal.) I had just worked a 3 pm-9 pm shift and had a couple of hours free before a midnight-6 am shift, so I looking forward to napping. On the way back to my room, I ran into a friend who asked, “Have you ever had peppermint schnapps?”

        I had not.

        The minutiae doesn’t really matter, but what does matter is that I was very insistent that I get back to my room by 9:15 so that I got at least 90 minutes of sleep. I think I *only* had two shots, which was a decision I made, and I remember being thrilled that it tasted better than the keg beer of my youth. I got that damn nap, and I emerged from my slumber still slightly drunk, slightly hungover, and definitely ready to die. I might have implanted a false memory of being ensconced in a blanket until my shift ended when the sun came up. Greenly nibbling away at the leftover half of a chicken cheesesteak from the staff fridge was my only comfort.

    • The first time I drank (and the time I was closest to being drunk) I was home for winter break my first year of college and my best friend kissed me. It was nice. Yes, I liked the smell of her chapstick. She’s now happily married to a guy and many years later I married my wife.

    • My parents were sampling a bunch of liquors from my oma’s house, and they might not have realized just how many small tastes they offered to my 16-year-old self. My older sibling and I walked down to the lake in the dark afterwards, and we sure had a grand old time.

    • I think I win this one! I was two years old. Two. My parents had a party the night before and didn’t clean up afterward, and I got up earlier than everyone and wandered around the house finishing off people’s half-empty glasses. My mom woke up to find me standing at the foot of the bed staring at her, swaying gently from side to side, with droopy eyes and a little half-smile on my face.

    • the first time i had adult-sanctioned liquor (not snuck in secret) one of my mother’s more chaotic friends was trying to offload a seven dollar bottle of cherry vodka she’d been given for free at her usual liquor store as a customer appreciation/we can’t sell this gift

      there’s a video of me doing a shot directly from the bottle, making a horrible face, and gagging loudly

    • i don’t quite remember the first time I got drunk (seems about right?) but i went to and threw a lot of parties in high school and I remember throwing a big one at a carpet warehouse, where, after wanting to make sure that I got “my share” of the mike’s hard lemonade/captain morgan’s I had paid for, I was dancing wildly and tried to jump on a giant pile of rolled up carpets that were stacked in giant shelving, but i basically just agitated the shelf and the whole pile rolled out on top of me. so i got stuck at the bottom of a carpet avalanche, from which i had to be rescued. and like, i was pretty everyone saw my thong?

    • I was around 12 and it was drinks of triumph. There were these mean older teenagers (about 16 years old) who lived on my street who used to bully my friend and I . One day I noticed the teenagers stashing a box of heineken beer in an area they used to hangout in so they wouldn’t get caught by their parents. I told my friend about it, and in the end we decided to get back at them and take it. We ended up hiding out near their hangout spot waiting for them to leave. After they left we crept into their hangout spot grabbed the box of heineken that was so big we had to both each carry a side and ran as fast our feet could take us. We celebrated our success like a team winning the championship; shooting beer around like it was champagne. We got not only drunk off of the beer but also the thrill of the win. The teenagers were so pissed when they could not find their beer the next day, and they never discovered it was us. My first time getting drunk is still one of my favourite experiences of getting drunk.

    • The first first time was when I was supposed to go out and meet a bunch of friends for an event but I found one of my brother’s bottles of terrible flavored vodka and because I didn’t think about what would happen I stupidly got too buzzed and had to stay home. A girl I had a MAD crush on at the time that I rarely got to see was asking where I was and said she was disappointed that I wasn’t there and I’ll NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT MOMENT.

      But the first time I got properly drunk was with a group of queer friends I met online because we all watched Glee, they flew out to LA and we got very drunk in WeHo and it was a beautiful gay time.

    • Sincerely i was crushed when my wife left me and the kids for no reason, all my effort to get her back wasn’t successful . I had to play the role of a mother and father at the same time, it  wasn’t easy at all for me. So i decided to look for a spiritual help to get her back home. I was so lucky to get in touch with Dr. Joe who helped me to get my wife back in less than 48 hours, i was surprised and  overwhelmed. it was a miracle and only Dr. Joe can do this.Thank you Dr. Joe, for my family and i will  forever be grateful  to you. You need your wife or husband back or you want to do a love spell on anyone you love then hurry now and contact Dr. Joe the great spell caster;  via email:   dr.joespirtualhome@ gmail. com or call and chat him on Whatsapp: +2349048691694

  2. HELLO everyone I lied in the copy of this post and I am NOT wearing pajamas, I am somehow still wearing my jeans, but I do have some rosé. have y’all kept wearing jeans in quarantine? I saw someone on twitter calling them ‘hard pants’ and have not recovered

  3. Hi!!!!
    I just finished eating the last of my homemade pizza, I made cheese and cheese and pineapple. It was pretty amazing, I did get a fever both nights I made my pizzas (less amazing), but it was overall the best thing I’ve done during quarantine.
    I’m in the weird recovery stage of I’m alert enough to need things to do but need to stay in bed and rest. Brainstorming ideas of chill activities to do with very low energy???

    My cat Sweetums has been really cute and cuddly this whole time (as always)

  4. Here is where I would REALLY like to start a thread about the scary stories, urban legends and generally ways we both tried to frighten each other as kids at sleepovers.

    I’ll start with a light one: There was a fad at my school for a hot minute that there was a goat-man in the woods? (which now I am like…you mean Pan?) Anyway! Kids were always like “I saw the goat-man last night. For real!”

  5. SonI really love this cover of Maniac, the song in Flashdance when she’s doing her workout in her home studio

    IDK if it’s too much for normal people

    Oh and if you have Spotify there’s a female cover of Scotty Doesn’t Know by a Maddie Ross I find it very 00’s pop-punk nah-nah boo-boo rather than macho hurr hurr

  6. what was the weirdest thing you did at sleepovers / slumber parties as a kid?

    mine was that we would cry, we called them “crying sessions,” everybody would talk about their trauma and insecurities (usually body or boy related) and we’d cry together. we did it like once a month for an entire year and we were 12.

    half of us turned out to be queer

    ok WHAT DID U DO

  7. what song always makes you cry and you are kind of embarrassed about it ok i’ll start

    comfortable by john mayer
    and the version of “a moment like this” recorded live at american idol when kelly clarkson had just won