Previously on Legends of Tomorrow, Konane got murdered which sent Mona into a wolfy rage, the Legends suspect Hank is torturing the creatures the Time Bureau has in custody, and Ava and Sara had a fight about how the Kaupe situation was handled that ended in Ava sending Sara away.
We open with the Legends watching a video from Orlando, Florida in 1973 where President Nixon was unable to tell a lie and chaos ensued. Sara is ready to get to the bottom of this ASAP but Charlie and Ray aren’t so sure they should be heading out right now. Sara waves her hand and assures her that it was just a little fight and she’ll talk it out with Ava soon and everything will be fiiiiiine. But she was obviously projecting a big, because Ray was talking about the fact that they’re on the outs with the Time Bureau and Charlie was talking about how technically they’re harboring a fugitive since Mona is still on board.
Despite all that, Sara still thinks they should keep moving, keep going.
Nate and Zari, BOTH dressed like Time Agents, head into Ava’s office and are surprised to find Hank there instead. He’s filling in while Ava takes a wee leave of absence, which better not be code for kidnapped or being tested on or something, and his first assignment for Nate and Zari is to find the Legends and give them a Talking To.
Nate knows they have to fake it til they make it so they need someone else to do their snooping for them, so Zari loops Gary in on the plan. He’s on board, and wants it to literally be ON a board, and already has the yarn for it because he’s into crochet. Zari recently got into it as well and I can’t help but wonder if this happened after she spent some time as a cat…
On the Waverider, Mona is in the bathroom saying “grr” in the mirror, trying to see if she can activate her inner wolf on purpose. When she can’t, she finds Sara to try to talk to her about it, but Sara brushes her off and says whatever happened in Mexico can stay in Mexico, not knowing that it it really can’t. Sara says they have to keep moving, keep going.
So the Legends go to Florida and Charlie shapeshifts into Nixon so Doctors Lance and her trusty intern can kidnap the president until they can figure out what to do with him.
PS. Charlie’s shapeshifting face is the cutest.
When Hank locates the Waverider, Nate and Zari are sure to be the first on board so they can warn the Legends and empty the ship. Some Time Agents are able to follow them into the past, but Zari secretly shuts Gideon off before Hank can take over the controls and follow, too.
Back in Florida, the Legends steal an RV (literally called The Get Away) and are officially on the run.
Looking around and seeing that she’s basically in a rolling box with people she really likes, Mona starts to get nervous that her wolf will reappear so she tries to tell Sara again, but Sara has too much buzzing around in her head right now to focus on the words Mona is saying. She distracts Mona by calling her part of the team, gives her the task of finding clothes for them to wear.
Then she turns to the rest of the RV and says they have to stay on task and get the president to Disney World. Keep moving, keep going.
And then, like something out of any good family vacation movie, Sara and Ray realize that they forgot Charlie.
The Legends are all wearing adorable matching Family Vacation shirts and getting lost somewhere on the open road while Constantine (who is the only one not wearing a shirt because he never changes his purposefully messy look) magically extracts what looks like a cockroach from President Nixon.
He says, “I’ve been bugged,” which is hilarious, and Constantine explains that it’s the goddess of truth who feeds off lies. Knowing this bugger could be her downfall, Mona tries to tell Sara her secret one more time but Sara gives her the magical creature to take care of and gets back to business. Keep moving, keep going.
Gary is single-nipple deep in yarn while creating his murderboard when he realizes he needs help. And since Nate and Zari are otherwise occupied and Ava is MIA, he goes to get Nora Darhk.
Gary convinces Nora to help him by telling her about the experiments happening to prisoners and the promise of being released for the night.
In the RV, Mona tries to poke a hole in the jar to give the truth bug some air, but ends up dropping the jar and sending it rolling under the brake like the beginning of that one Final Destination movie that truly traumatized me. Eventually they get the jar out and regain control of the vehicle, but not before they’re noticed by the local cops. Ray tries to lie his way out of it, but between Ray being truly incapable of keeping his cool and the truth bug getting so excited about all those delicious, delicious lies, Ray eventually gets a scarab snack and tells the officer they’re time travelers on the run. Which just makes the officer think he’s on drugs.
When the officer goes back to his car to call it in, Sara has the Legends book it. Keep moving, keep going.
Hank intercepts the police officer’s call, and shows up in 1973. Hank steals the police car and takes off after the Legends, a nervous Nate by his side. Constantine casts duplicity and Hank ends up chasing a mirage instead of the real RV, giving the Legends a bit of their lead back.
Ray realizes all the radio stations seem a little fuzzy to he tunes the radio until he hears a voice come in loud and clear…a familiar voice. It’s Zari, and she’s giving the coded messages in some sweet Delilah dulcets.
Sara tells them they have to lay low until nightfall, but since they have to be honest to keep the little bug calm, Sara thinks maybe they should just not talk.
Meanwhile, back at the Time Bureau, Nora and Gary are hacking into Hank’s account, but they need some personal info so they can reset his password. Nate starts fake bonding with his dad to find out his childhood dog’s name, but while they’re talking Nate starts to feel a real fondness toward his dad, especially when Hank admits that maybe he wasn’t the best father, but he really was doing the best he knew how. (It reminds me, on a MUCH smaller scale, of one of my favorite lines the mother says to her daughter in the musical Next to Normal: “I love you as much as I can.”)
With this newly obtained information, Nora and Gary find receipts that prove Hank has been using time travel for personal, probably nefarious, gain. They hear someone coming and hide under the desk, and a man made of whispers comes in and gives Nora a wicked migraine. It turns out the man is Neron (with Desmond’s face) and as soon as he’s gone, Nora snaps at Gary to stop digging and be careful and takes herself back to her cell. She is shooketh.
As soon as Neron leaves the office, he calls Hank to let him know someone is poking around, and Hank suddenly knows that Nate’s getting-to-know-you questions weren’t genuine after all.
Back on the RV, Ray is having a great time with this family vacation circle of trust situation. Sara is decidedly not.
Eventually the lies start spilling and the bug starts jumping between Constantine and Ray. Sara sits up front and tries to ignore them, so Mona tries to take this opportunity to get some reassurance from their seemingly-fearless leader and asks if they’re going to be okay. Sara sighs and says they are, but quickly realizes she lied and slaps her hands over her mouth. Unfortunately the bug then CRAWLS UP HER NOSE and Sara snaps. She says they won’t be fine, and maybe she’s not even talking about the Legends, because Ava was her one chance at something real and now it’s slipping away from her.
She blames Mona for all of it, tracing all their problems back to when Mona and the Kaupe came into their lives. Mona, hurt, runs out of the RV and Sara, still with the truth bug in her, says she meant everything she said but still doesn’t want Mona to run off and die or get lost in the 70s.
She makes Constantine remove her bug and tell her team that she was serious about saving Mona, because they’re a team. “No one left behind, even if they bug you.” Pun definitely intended.
So Sara marches after Mona. Keep moving, keep going. But Constantine catches up with her and makes her stop. Just for one second. Stop. And when she stops it all washes over her and spills out. Sara tells Constantine about how she went to talk to Ava thinking everything was going to be fine because it’s always fine. They fight and they talk and they make up and it’s fine. But this time it wasn’t fine, and Sara was finding it hard to convince her team that everything was going to be okay when she herself is not okay. She’s not okay.
So Constantine tells her that if the roles were reversed she’d probably say something about how the whole point of being on a team is that you don’t have to carry any burden alone, which was his way of being inspiring without having to be too inspiring.
Mona is hiding out in a local diner trying to bury her sorrows in a burger when some Time Agents come in. She hides from them in their hoodie but when she hears them get a call from Hank about the Legends’ location (which he overheard on the radio) and Mona overhears them being jerks about the Legends, but especially about Konane, and she wolfs out again.
Sara and Constantine get to the diner in time to see everyone running out, screaming, and when they realize the thing scaring them is a were-Kaupe, they know it must be Mona. Sara realizes now, now that she’s stopped moving, stopped going, everything that happened comes into clear focus. Mona had been trying to tell her all day.
So Sara tries to talk Mona down. Mona is lashing out with claw wipes but Sara is just dodging and talking. Mona reveals that she’s still very conscious, just full of rage. She says she looked up to Sara but everything Sara said to her was a lie.
Speaking of lies, when Hank and Nate catch up to the Legends, the truth bug gets Nate to confess everything, including that he does love his dad but he makes it so impossible to like him. Hank says that \everything he does, he does for Nate, and he truly hates that he’s hurting his son, and the truth bug doesn’t budge, so maybe he believes that to be true. At Nate’s request, Hank lets the Legends go.
In the diner, Sara tells Mona that she should have never blamed you. None of it was Mona’s fault, Sara only said all those things because she was trying to run away from her own feelings. But she was wrong.
And Mona is beasting out because she’s trying to bottle hers, so Sara says from now on she’ll be a shoulder for Mona to lean on. And so Were!Mona turns back into regular-sized Mona and they hug it out.
When they rejoin the group, Nate is telling everyone he loves them “so big” and Hank is giving Sara the go-ahead to go about her business.
Sara talks to the group and says one of my favorite Sara lines of all time, “Maybe that’s what family is. The people you don’t mind being annoyed by.” Because this band of weirdos and goofballs might drive her bonkers half the time, but they’re HER band of weirdos and goofballs, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Mona asks if Sara’s sure she’s okay with her staying, and Sara says they can always use one more shoulder to lean on.
And then when they survey their ragtag family, they realize they forgot Charlie…AGAIN.
Zari and Nate talk about the creature testing, and Zari says it reminds her of when ARGUS was making Super Soldiers out of Metas, and Nate is very bummed that this is what his dad has really been up to. So much for all that bonding.
When Hank goes back to the office, he finds Desmond-shaped Neron and says he’s having second thoughts about their deal. It sounds like he’s having a change of heart, that maybe he wants to do right by his son after all. But Neron isn’t having it. While this conversation is happening, Nora is in her cell and her head is wigging out again, and she sees flashes of Neron’s hella holey head. (For those with trypophobia, Neron starts going in and out of his seed-pod form starting at minute 40 on the CW website, and is done after 41:15.) In response to Hank’s request, Neron instead starts slowly killing Hank, all while Nora is losing her entire mind in her cell.
While Nuron sucks the life out of Hank, Nora gets so overwhelmed that she sucks the life out of her containment cell. As soon as she’s free, she runs towards the source of her agony.
But by the time she gets to Hank, it’s too late. He’s extremely dead. Unfortunately, Nate chose this very moment to come in, and seeing Nora over his dad’s dead body, makes a fairly reasonable assumption, but an assumption nonetheless. Nora, having been denied the benefit of the doubt time and time again, doesn’t even bother trying to defend herself. Instead, she apologizes in advance, knocks everyone down with a burst of power, and bamfs out.
By the time I write to you again, I will have been in the same room breathing the same over-oxygenated casino air as Caity Lotz and Jes Macallan, and hopefully will have some fun tidbits to report back.