Boobs On Your Tube: The Lying (Down), The Witch, and The Werewolf

Hey there, homos! You have made it through the first week of November — congrats! Still don’t know what to stream this month? Riese has got you covered! JoJo Siwa landed in the bottom two of DWTS this week with her tango and Sally recapped the near-heartbreak! Valerie Anne recapped Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow and both recaps made me cry? Batwoman didn’t go exactly how the TV Team hoped this week, but Nic made us feel better with her WildMoore slow-burn hype. Carmen recapped Twenties and really wants to remind you that it’s one of the best things going on TV right now and you need to get on it; this weekend is a perfect time to get caught up. And Christina is here with your weekly gay Morning Show update.

Notes from the TV Team:

+ OH MY HARD CANDY CHRISTMAS!Heather

+ Storylines for Henrietta Wilson have been slim thus far on 9-1-1 but this week, the second year med student did decide on a specialty: general surgery. The decision comes after Hen is forced to serve as the hands of an injured prison doctor, in order to save the life of a guard injured in a breakout. — Natalie

+ I would have done a full recap of Home Economics but we have a lot going on this week (as you’re about to see!), so something had to give. This week Sarah and Denise are dealing with their tween daughter Shamiah not wanting to tell them about her little tween crush on a boy. At first they assume it’s because they’re gay, leading to some very deep belly laughs as they try to “straighten up” but it turns out that it’s just Shamiah thinks that her moms, like all moms, are out of touch and cringe. Perfect. — Carmen


Hightown 203: “Fresh as a Daisy”

Written by Natalie

Jackie enjoys a "family" dinner with her old partner, Ed, and her new partner, Leslie.

Thanks to a tip from his confidential informant, Jackie’s sergeant locates the body of a murdered drug dealer (Sean “Kizzle” Gandam) buried deep in the woods. The sergeant affixes blame for the murder on Junior and when he shares his suspicions with Jackie, she refuses to believe that Junior was capable of killing anyone. Despite the disagreement, her sergeant invites her to interview someone who might know about Junior’s actions: his girlfriend/baby mama, Donna. Still in the anger stage of the grieving process, Donna agrees that Junior could’ve killed Kizzle. Jackie follows her out and discovers that she’s working at Xavier’s, the strip club owned by the people who got Junior killed.

“When are you gonna fuckin’ get it, huh?” Donna asks. “It wasn’t Osito. It wasn’t Kizzel. It wasn’t anybody else that killed Junior. Junior killed Junior.”

After her run-in with Donna, Jackie question Osito in prison. She returns to the precinct to update her sergeant on her theory: Osito killed Kizzel for Junior. But rather than hear her out, he dismisses her entirely for having gone outside the chain of command. Instead, he dispatches her to join Leslie and do some “real police work.” With nothing happening at Xavier’s, talk between the new partners quickly turns to their night together. Leslie assures Jackie that they’re cool and brushes it off as a simple hook-up between co-workers. Jackie casually questions Leslie’s assessment — “That what that was? A hook-up?” — and there’s something about the way she says it that let’s you know, without a doubt, that their hook-up will not be a one-time thing.

Once they’re made by Jorge Cuevas, Jackie storms into Xavier’s to put both the cousins on notice. Her impulsive move earns her thinly veiled threats from them both and, though she cloaks it in criticism, Leslie’s impressed (read: turned on) by Jackie’s fearlessness. To make up for her misstep, Jackie invites Leslie to join her for dinner with her surrogate father/former partner, Ed, and his wife. The dinner, even with its moments of awkwardness (Ed’s wife asking Leslie if she was a lesbian, for example), feels like the most at ease that we’ve ever seen Jackie. The easy rapport Ed and Jackie have, the way Leslie fits into Jackie’s other world…it’s a reminder of how far addiction kept her from normalcy.

After dinner, Jackie gets a call from Donna who passes on some information she overheard at Xavier’s: Jorge is pimping out his new girlfriend. Jackie immediately shares the news with Leslie and they relish the opportunity to turn the girlfriend into a confidential informant. The two celebrate their progress by falling into bed together again.

This time, though, it’s a top-off! Jackie tries to go down on Leslie but she pulls her back up and insists on pleasuring Jackie this time. Leslie rolls them over and tries to top Jackie but she will not allow it. She pulls back on Leslie’s hair, says a firm, but sexy, no, and reclaims her place on top of her partner. It’s hot — and especially impressive, given that Monica Raymund was both the talent and the director — but now I have so many questions.


All American 402: “I Ain’t Goin’ Out Like That”

Written by Natalie

Spencer confronts Patience about the tension between her and Coop during Layla's birthday party.

Since the shooting, things between Patience and Coop have been strained…and the distance between them only widens as they share breakfast before school. Coop’s busy, wrapped up in preparing to return to the studio, and Patience has to text her just to get her attention. Patience questions Coop’s decision to get back into the studio so soon and Coop immediately gets defensive about it. Patience laments the distance between them lately — she didn’t even know Coop was planning to go into the studio — but Coop brushes her off and ushers Patience off to school.

Later, as she’s getting ready to go meet Coop at the studio, Patience’s dad interrupts her to talk about Coop. While he’s been supportive of their relationship in the past, Coop’s list of transgressions continues to grow. He’s understandably worried about his daughter’s safety if she and Coop stay together, as trouble seems to follow Coop wherever she goes. Though Patience tries to offer some defense of the woman she loves, the reality is, her father’s only vocalizing thoughts she’s already had. Patience goes into her next meeting with Coop looking for some affirmation that battling through all the drama is worthwhile — some proof that she matters to Coop — and, when Coop doesn’t offer any, Patience is ready to let go.

“We are together so your problems are my problems. And if you don’t get that, like…,” Patience cries, her voice full of emotion. “I don’t even know what else to say. I think maybe we should just…”

Realizing that she’s about to lose Patience, Coop finally speaks up: Mo’s bullet might not have killed her but it may have killed her rap career. The bullet damaged her lungs and her doctor said that she might never regain lung capacity. Coop admits that during her studio session, she couldn’t even get through one song…and she wonders if she ever will again. Patience embraces Coop but, later at Layla’s party, she’s clearly frustrated that it took nearly breaking up for Coop to tell her the truth. When she confesses that to Spencer, he’s his usual optimistic self, assuring Patience that their relationship will be fine and Coop can fully recover if Patience is by her side.

Meanwhile, though, Coop’s commiserating with Asher and throwing a pity party for herself. By the end of the evening, Coop is convinced nothing else really matters anymore; hope is futile. She dismisses Patience’s suggestion to get a second opinion on her condition and pronounces her music dreams dead. Her insolence pushes Patience away, leaving Coop to reach out to the other person she trusts the most: Preach.


NCIS: Hawai’i 106: “The Tourist”

Written by Natalie

Kate and Lucy share a romantic moment on the parking deck after closing a case.

Last we checked in with NCIS: Hawai’i, Kate suggested to Lucy that they keep their relationship strictly professional. Though she had her objections, Lucy begrudgingly agreed and the couple’s been stuck in this stasis ever since…that is, until this week when their paths cross as part of an investigation.

Lucy and her team are called to the scene of kidnapping: Kayla Barlow, an Instagram influencer/wife of a Navy officer, disappears during a luau. At first, the team guesses that the kidnapping is tied to the husband — after all, he’s a weapons officer with top secret clearance — but when the alleged kidnapper turns up dead and Kayla is still on the run, the team realizes something else is afoot. Jane notices a pattern in Kayla’s Instagram comments and realizes that Kayla’s been communicating with someone in code. When Ernie tracks down the accounts at the other end of Kayla’s messages, they all lead back to the same place: the alleged kidnapper. Just when Jane is starting to put the pieces together — the “kidnapper” was Kayla’s handler and they worked on intelligence missions together — Kate (a DIA officer, you’ll recall) shows up and shuts the investigation down.

Though Kate’s presence corroborates Jane’s suspicions, she doesn’t give anything else away, including any insight on how the DIA plans to get Kayla Barlow back. Things grow tense and Jane dismisses Kate. Lucy follows her out and questions about how they’re supposed to break the news to Kayla’s distraught husband. Kate’s not interested in coddling the husband’s hurt feelings.

“I’m given orders. Orders that come before relationships and love and feelings,” Kate explains.

“We still talking about Kayla Barlowe?” Lucy asks, turning the conversation personal. Kate swears her words have nothing to do with what happened between them but she is, clearly, undone by the inquiry and makes a quick escape.

But, of course, Jane and the team don’t actually back down: they regroup and continue the search for Kayla. They find her but the Russian operatives that have been searching for Kayla scoop her husband up instead. When word gets back to Kate that the team has Kayla, she returns to NCIS to collect her asset. Jane asks for a little cooperation to help NCIS find Kayla’s husband but Kate’s not particularly interested in helping them, given their dirty play. Eventually, though, they agree to work together — with Kate calling in an FBI team to help save the day — and they arrest the Russian hit squad and save Kayla and her husband.

After the case is closed, Lucy catches up with Kate in the parking deck and thanks her for her help. Kate admits that it’s not always easy being the bad cop but Lucy assures her that she doesn’t think of her as bad, she thinks Kate is amazing. Lucy draws close and then pulls back slightly to invite Kate to join her for a drink. Instead of answering, Kate closes the distance between them and initiates a kiss.


New Amsterdam 407: “Harmony”

Written by Natalie

Lauren Bloom and Leyla Shinwari share breakfast while studying for Leyla's exam in the storage closet.

It all starts out so adorably: Lauren and Leyla locked in their own little world. Lauren withholds Leyla’s breakfast parfait until her girlfriend can correctly answer questions in preparation for an upcoming review. After she gets a spoonful of yogurt, Leyla just looks at Lauren with so much love and gratitude. For a minute, I get lost in the sweetness of it all — I have wanted nothing but love for Dr. Bloom since I started watching New Amsterdam (though, admittedly, I’d hoped it would be with Dr. Sharpe) — but then Leyla tells Lauren, “none of it [would be] possible without you” and I’m snapped out of my revelry. One day, Leyla will find out exactly how possible Lauren made this moment and fear that’ll be the end of their relationship. And worse yet? That moment might be coming sooner than I’d imagined.

There’s an ambulance accident just outside the hospital and Lauren mobilizes the ED to respond to the incoming traumas. The show misses the opportunity to showcase Lauren’s trauma for the previous ambulance accident, only allowing Max to recall the horror of that day. Still, though, the past trauma resonates: Lauren grows obsessed with finding out why the accident happened.

As she searches for answers, she’s approached by Dr. Veronica Fuentes, the hospital’s soon-to-be medical director. Fuentes thanks Bloom for her donation to the Dean’s discretionary fund. Lauren’s clearly taken aback about being called out and asks Fuentes to keep her family’s donation confidential. Lauren minimizes the donation — calling it “nothing special” and something her family does all the time — and Fuentes suggests making another donation, this time to the hospital’s endowment. Lauren considers it but says she has to talk to her family and their lawyer first. But if there was ever any doubt about Dr. Fuentes’ intentions, she makes it clear when she asks, “is Dr. Shinwari involved? If so, I’d like to extend my gratitude to her as well.”

“No,” Lauren insists. “I mean, she doesn’t know we do this and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Fuentes encourages Lauren to think about a gift to the endowment and assures her that Leyla doesn’t have to know about that gift either. The implication is clear: Fuentes knows that Lauren bought Leyla’s place in the residency program and, without a donation to the hospital’s endowment, she’ll expose Lauren’s misdeed. It would put her career, her medical license and her relationship at risk…and Lauren cannot abide that. She calls the family attorney and leaves a message about making another donation to New Amsterdam.


Nancy Drew 304: “The Demon of Piper Beach”

Written by Valerie Anne

Nancy Drew: Nancy gently touches Bess's arm

Just wanted to say hello from my Nancy/Bess shipping dumpster again. How’ve ya been.

This episode features one of my favorite sci-fi tropes: curated nightmares! It’s such a fun, fascinating way to get into characters’ psyches, and this episode did not disappoint. Horseshoe Bay’s favorite queer lady’s nightmare, for example, was about not being allowed to be a Woman in White; at least on the surface. What we learn is Bess’s fears go a little deeper; it’s about being left out, underestimated, discounted. Being perceived to be not good enough, or worse, being not good enough.

The nightmares escalate, spreading through the town and causing dangerous sleepwalking situations, but Bess’s ideas and opinions are brushed off at every turn until she storms off. When she comes back with a potential magical solution, she realizes everyone else has fallen into a sleep she can’t rouse them from and she’s on her own. She calls her roommate Ryan for help, and now that she’s without her friends she’s starting to doubt herself, but he has no hesitation; he believes in her.

She uses some magic to lucid dream her way into the Drew Crew’s nightmares, gathers them up the Bess Bus and gives them a piece of her mind. She’s sick of not being taken seriously, and she knows that they love her but she wants them to respect her. So they sit back and lets Bess take the wheel, literally and figuratively. They get to the beach where the boss battle will take place, and they all shout their encouragement as Bess takes the sandman down.

When the danger passes and everyone wakes up, they apologize to Bess for doubting her, and she asks for their support in starting her own, newer, better, good-er coven of Women in White, and Nancy says she’ll be great. I’m THRILLED for more Witchy Bess.


Legacies 404: “See You on the Other Side”

Written by Valerie Anne

Legacies: josie and finch kiss in bed

The lying (down), the witch, and the werewolf.

Whew this episode was a RIDE. We open with Hope in limbo, the Ferryman trying to take her to peace. But ultimately she knows she can’t abandon her definitely-in-danger found family on the off-chance her blood family is waiting in the light for her, so she wakes up. The world is too loud and the lights are too bright but she’s alive…sort of. She is the Tribrid.

Josie tries to find a way to get Landon and Cleo out of Malavore’s void, so she assembles a Super Sub-Squad, including Finch, to keep everyone safe while she does black magic. Finch does her best, and does stop the spell before it’s totally done, but it’s too late: Dark Josie is back.

But despite Dark Josie’s best attempts, Finch is not intimidated. She sees what’s going on and she tells Josie that while she’s fighting to keep her two sides separate, she’ll always be struggling. She’s not Light Josie and Dark Josie. She’s Josie. And until Josie can learn to love her dark side, Finch will love it enough for the both of them. Finch kisses her, and suddenly she’s Josie again; just Josie, two halves made whole. With newfound motivation, she rallies her Sub-Squad again and summons Cleo without losing control.

Meanwhile, Landon momentarily gains control of his body again, and says goodbye to Hope. She says always, he says forever, then Hope fulfills her destiny and my dreams and kills Landon. Maybe for good this time.

Back at school, Finch is still stressed about the Merge, and Josie does want to talk about that, but for now, they should celebrate their win with a different kind of magic. They fall onto the bed together and there’s wolfing out and magic fireworks and sexy, sexy magic.

Oh also? Hope turns off her humanity to avoid all those pesky feelings. Should be fine!


Hightown 103: “Who You Calling a Bitch?”

Written by Carmen

Naturi Naughton making out with a woman in a hotel door on Queens

This is not the point at all, but the title of this episode is an EXCELLENT Queen Latifah reference.

Last week on Queens we did a tour through the last twenty years of Jill’s rise to stardom as Da Thrill in her late 90s rap group Nasty Bitches and all her internalized homophobia (and related drug problem) that came with it. But this week we’re firmly in the present! And in the present the newly out Jill has been dubbed the “Hottest Lesbian in the World.”

That title comes from Alicia, a reporter form Out Magazine who is doing a profile on Jill as the group prepares their reunion tour following a straight up disastrous performance. The Nasty Bitches have a lot to learn, including potentially changing their name to Queens (I thought this had happened in the pilot episode for some reason? So I’m sorry to have mislead you!). There are points to be made on both side (I thought referencing that Hillary had been referred to as “nasty” in 2016 and AOC was referenced as a “bitch” just last year) — but after a straight up stunner of a rap battle between Eve and Brandy, ultimately the name change becomes permanent.

But back to Jill! Alicia, the very cute interviewer, can’t stop herself from flirting with her interview subject — which is highly unprofessional, but I also understand that Jill has Naturi Naughton’s face and so here we are. First Alicia invites Jill out with a group of her friends at a gay bar, which is filled of so many hilarious stereotypes in a one minute mark it almost makes your head spin (a brief, incomplete rundown: “baby gay,” “pillow princess,” Janelle Monáe playing overhead).

Later, Alicia invites Jill out to dinner to make her ex jealous, which Jill didn’t realize until she got there. When Alicia gets a little aggressive with her flirting, putting her hand a little high up on Jill’s thigh for comfort if you ask me — Jill books it out of there. That same night Alicia shows up at Jill’s hotel room door and — as we later find out during a montage — Jill invites her in, officially cheating on her girlfriend back home, Tina. Which is so heartbreaking to me! Alicia is hot, but I really liked Tina! It’s all too much. How can one choose?


Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And A+ members keep the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers are not members. A+ membership starts at just $4/month. If you're able to, will you join A+ and keep Autostraddle here and working for everyone?

Join A+

Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 191 articles for us.

Valerie Anne

Just a TV-loving, Twitter-addicted nerd who loves reading, watching, and writing about stories. One part Kara Danvers, two parts Waverly Earp, a dash of Cosima and an extra helping of my own brand of weirdo.

Valerie has written 334 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. For all of you who are now coming down to the end with “Supergirl”, can I invite you over to “Stargirl”? I’ll say this to hopefully pique your interest: “Stargirl” is what “Supergirl” SHOULD have been.

  2. I regret to inform y’all that nothing (canonically) gay happened this season on Stargirl

    But there was subtext. Oh, Beebo, was there subtext. And it is still well worth the watch.

    Plus, next season is their junior year… which means one thing: prom…

  3. I haven’t watched this episode yet but I’ve been frustrated by the writing around Lucy and Kate’s relationship in the first two episodes. It felt like we were thrown into something complicated with no backstory or context. “We can’t do this again” is so vague – are you exes, one night stand, what? And why are you being so weird about it as supposedly mature adults? I’m hoping they put a little more effort into fleshing it out in the future

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!