Hot Lady Friday with Jessica Clark, Jane Lynch, Gaga, Rihanna, Meredith Baxter & Lilo Obvs

lynch-ryanGLEE: Ryan Murphy on the future of GLEE and his conviction that The Lynch can do no wrong Obvs – ”Sue will never take a backseat on the show ever because Jane is so fantastic and we write so heavily toward her… people love her. If you thought she was bad in the first 13, she’s doubly wicked and funny in the [rest].” Kristen Chenoweth coming back, 10 Madonna songs:

“I just think you had to fall in love with the characters,” he added. “It’s a very universal idea that everybody feels like an outsider, I think that’s what the show’s about. Everybody feels that way no matter how popular or famous or rich you are.”

Murphy told The Wrap that next season, he’ll be doing “an average of eight to 10” songs per episode. (@thewrap)

GAGA: Lady Gaga is MTV News’s Woman of the Year! We just want you to know that when we finally finish all our year-end lists, that we started them like three weeks ago so we’re not copying: “Gaga’s work shows a sense of performance-art and theater that, these days, is arguably rivaled among major artists only by that of Kanye West, which is why their ultimately cancelled “Fame Kills” co-headlining tour made sense artistically (although many were baffled by it). She makes every public appearance into an event.” (@mtv)

JESSICA CLARK: Smokin’ hot model Jessica Clark has some tips for gifts for the lesbian in your life. Probs you have lots of lesbians in your life, unless you live with polar bears or straight people. HAPPY FRIDAY (@ourscenetv)

MEREDITH BAXTER: Meredith Baxter is gonna write an autobiography. Riese finds this very exciting because she loves reading memoirs or auto-bios by people who went to her boarding school, like Marya Hornbacher’s Wasted, which we also recommend, and which is probs a bit more depressing than Meredith’s book, which I bet will be super good and have lots of Michael J Fox gossip in it. (@cnn)

RIHANNA: The new video for Rihanna’s track, “Hard,” hit the web late yesterday afternoon. The message she’s sending comes through loud and clear: She’s hard. As in tough. But as we all know, there’s more to this story. (@jezebel)

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LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan has had a busy week! At Voyeur with Kevin Connolly on December 16th, where Courtenay Semel was inside, talking smack about Tila Tequila and Casey Johnson (she gives them “five more days”) but not commenting about whether she’d seen LiLo there. On December 17th she was at Brian Wilson’s Hollywood Hills shindig with Leonardo DiCaprio and other famous people.

ELLEN VON UNWERTH: Ellen Von Unwerth (our second-favorite photographer) shoots Lady Gaga (our favorite person) and Cyndi Lauper (our favorite ally) for M.A.C. Viva Glam (our favorite makeup). Like everything Ellen touches, this is sure to be golden:

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’09 AWARDS: Best TV Lines of 2009, contributed by hundreds of people on Twitter. (@latimes) BONUS: Many of the quoted shows are Televisionary regulars.

VOGUE: Vogue Lets You Choose Best-Dressed Women of the Decade and I hope you all pick Lady Gaga. (@vogue)

AVATAR: Fox banks on James Cameron’s $380 million Avatar (@washingtonpost), Men snapping up Avatar tickets in pre-sale; women, not so much (@nydailynews)

CLASSIC MOVIES: BBC’s crib sheets on how to pretend you’ve seen 10 classic films, including Autostraddle favorite Alien:

“Alien”

“Alien” is, well, about an alien

In a line: Ultimate parasite hitches a lift on a space freighter.
Plot summary: Intergalactic miners are wakened from their hypersleep by a distress signal from a planet they pass. They investigate and find a mummified craft with egg-like structures. One of the miners gets a crab-cum-hand thing attached to his face. It disappears as mysteriously as it attached itself but later, something suddenly bursts through the host’s gut after a meal. It proceeds to eliminate everyone on board with the help of an android crew member.

Buzzword bingo: Hypersleep, parasite, molecular acid, cryogenics.
Key line:
“It’s a robot. Ash is a goddamn robot.”
Key scene: Ripley has managed to escape to the shuttle but has forgotten Jonesy the cat. She just has to go back and get it.

TINA FEY: Steve Carell & Tina Fey are attached to star in Mail-Order Groom, a film conceived by 30 Rock writers. (@latimes)

JERSEY SHORE: Teacher who punched Jersey Shore girl apologizes. (@nypost)

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2741 articles for us.

27 Comments

  1. re: Best Tv Quotes of ’09 — i want to completely redo their True Blood page b/c WTF THEY LEFT OFF JASON’S “I reckon I’ve already been to heaven. It was inside your wife.” HELLOOO!

    i probably won’t read the M.Baxter memoir because I don’t like memoirs by famous ppl, but i’ll read your review of it, riese, and it’ll be like i was right there next to you, on your bed in harlem, eating mcnuggets and drinking vodka, reading about M.Baxter.

    wonder if anyone here has actually seen all of those movies from the BBC list? i of course have not. NOT EVEN ALIEN.

  2. you know i’m a rihanna fan but for some reason her singing the song “hard” just rubs me the wrong way, i understand she doesn’t want to seem like a victim but this image of her tryna be sooo hard makes me cringe….

    I LOVE lady Gaga i mean i really do but have you seen those photos of her lately? The semi naked ones where she’s wrapped up in news paper and she has cuts all over her body, I don’t know Lady Gaga is fabulous with clothes on and pure scary when she’s semi naked like reminds me of Carrey when she has no clothes on…sometimes she gives me nightmares

    Urban Lesbian Site http://www.lez-behonest.com
    Personal Blog: http://www.alipstickdiary.com

  3. i am distressed by the lack of It’s Always Sunny quotes in those TV lines, also Glee. Sue Sylvester should be up there for everything she’s ever said. also: I FOUND OUT MY HAMPSTER WAS PREGNANT IN BIOLOGY CLASS AND I JUST STARTED WEEPING.

    DIET COKE WITH LIME. #trueblood

    i could do this all day.

    • The didn’t include when Sue says the thing about an elementary school production of Hair! She had many other wonderful things to say.

      You’re right, where’s the Sunny quotes? This season has been so good and so funny! I’m disappointed.

  4. you know who i always thought could be a lesbian Elizabeth Wurtzel..idk when I first read prozac nation i got a lesbian red alert

    k im goin back to work now lol

    • wurtzel actually wrote a really amazing essay about how she wishes she was a lesbian but isn’t. i read that book thinking anyone with this many feelings has to be a lesbian. it’s called “the (fe)male gaze” and it’s about lesbian music and feelings. elizabeth wurtzel’s essay.

      k i lost my brain i think

  5. “unless you live with polar bears or straight people.” ME.

    Lady Gaga = hot.

    There is so much good stuff in today’s fix! I might enjoy the ‘best tv lines’ better if I actually watched those shows. The only one I watch is HIMYM and there were so many better lines than those!

  6. omg she did? while i was reading prozac nation i kept saying the same thing only a lesbian has this much intense overload of emotions and even her relationships with men and just the way she wrote…i really felt like that was part of her problem, coming to terms or understanding her sexuality…

    this makes me feel like my gaydar has improved even more haha im going to look up that essay tomorrow!

    P.S. I don’t really like the super thin Gaga and she was cuter as a brunette…well I go back and forth if she’s secretly a man and gonna tell the world at an awards show one day so i’m not sure

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