The trailer for the new Charlie’s Angels just landed and I’m more convinced than ever that Kristen Stewart is going to be gay as all hell in it. First of all, why are you dropping it the very day World Pride starts, on the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, if that’s not true? Second of all, her hair. Third of all, her swagger. Fourth of all, the way she says to another woman, “How did that feel, because it looks like it felt really good.” Fifth of all, the trailer kicks right off with Janelle Monae’s “Make Me Feel,” the gayest song ever recorded. Sixth of all, half of all gay women over the age of 30 are gay because of Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, so the only place to go from there is maintext. Seventh of all, it’s 2019 and it’d be bananas to have three women on-screen together without one of them being queer. Eighth of all, I want what I want.I REST MY CASE.
See you in the theater in November, ya queers.