Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office #6: Sex and The City 2

It will come as no surprise to you that Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard did not enjoy Sex and the City 2. It will also come as no surprise to you that their re-enactment is ten bajillion times better than the actual film.

Sex and the City 2, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon the lesbian, Kristin Davis, Kim Catrall and a bunch of dudes, has been critically panned by everyone except Alexi Melvin, most notably in this review from The Stranger: “SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it’s my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.”

And here we have two grown women playing with themselves, and the results are glorious!

Yes, Autostraddle.com had a serious hosting situation this weekend which we have since remedied for a price equivalent to a trip to Abu Dabi (help!), but who cares really WE HAVE JULIE GOLDMAN LORDESS OF COMEDY AND BRANDY FUCKING HOWARD, QUEEN OF BEER COMMERCIALS here to finger Michael Patrick King’s asshole for you!

Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard are the Matt and Ben of Lesbian Movies. They are a sensational acting/writing duo that are trying to cause a sensation with their sensational, lesbian romantic-comedy, Nicest Thing.

Since no one wants to make their movie or cast them in anything, they feel it is their duty to harshly judge everyone else’s work, based on a sliding scale of rage, bitterness, lesbianism, and lack of any real significant training.

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julie and brandy

has written 20 articles for us.


  1. You guys, this was hilarious, I laughed ’til I cried. Thank you for watching this movie so that I don’t have to.

  2. This is hilarious.

    These things made me laugh, a lot:

    “none of them do coke? not one of them does any coke,”

    “not like shutter island, haha.”

    “look it even killed Nacho, look at him he’s dead.”

    “ya, it’s called vicoden and percocet and alcohol.”

    Unrelated, remember the time when Jed took both vicoden and percocet? –

    Bartlet: Toby. Toby, Toby, Toby. Toby’s a nice name, don’t you think?

    But I digress.

    This was hilarious. The impersonations were unbelievably spot on awesome.

    And the editing, mad props.

    To the Left!

    Love it.

  3. “Single Ladies? Hold on let me check…. it’s over.”

    Kinda wanted to hear Julie pontificate more on Aiden – maybe in the DVD extras!

  4. FINALLY my number one sucker of internet time is back. yay autostraddle!

    i had a serious literal lol moment at julie in the miranda wig.

  5. couldn’t disagree more with your opinion of the movie, but LOVE THIS parody — so funny!!!

  6. Omg, Julie’s Samantha impression may be the greatest thing ever. Nacho is swiftly moving up on my list of favorite pets.

  7. yes. yeeesssss. this is what i needed. i’ve never seen a single episode of SATC b/c it looked so incredibly obnoxious and also i didn’t have HBO, so.

    what if, when things go wrong, we get on a conference call with julie and brandy and just talk about movies and fisting? can that be a thing? OH WAIT – GENIUS IDEA: we could offer this as a service and charge people! then autostraddle, like celine dion’s heart, could go on and on.

  8. hilarious!!! you 2. esp “look it even killed Nacho, look at him he’s dead.”

  9. julie as charlotte was probably my favorite… i think..but i’ll have to watch it again to decide …or like 10 more times

  10. Oh. Em. Gee. This is the best thing I will see today…and possibly tomorrow, and if I’m lucky, the day after that as well.

  11. i can’t decide if the charlotte part (wigs & pita) or the miranda part is my favorite. i’m glad julie accurately depicts their sphincter mouths.

  12. I needed this in my life today in a big, big way.

    I’m glad you’re back Autostraddle, I misesd you.

  13. All those fucking wigs just slayed me.

    My bestie and I saw Julie Goldman at Stanford the other week. She called us both lezzy during her stand-up and it was the best compliment I’ve ever received.

  14. and another episode i loved. The wig & pita were my absolute favs lol

    on another note, thanks for being back Autostraddle. i was really worried/scared when you weren’t here. and i cant go through that again, and to show you how serious i am, a pinky promise must be made. because no one/thing/website EVER breaks a pinky promise. That stuff is LEGIT.

  15. “”I had a dick in my eyeball five minutes ago!” FUCKING. HILARIOUS. I love you guys! Keep doing what you’re doing

  16. hahaha. yay a new episode!

    Well sad to say i loved the movie haha. but i was a big sex and the city fan, so id pretty much love it if it was the worst movie ever. but i also loved your re-enactment! :)
    i HATEEE Big he’s the biggest douche ever, i duno why the hell shes with him. plus i dont like Carrie. shes really annoying.

    My favorite part was Julie as Charlotte hahaha. i had to rewind it coz i was laughing to hard to hear it.

  17. I’m so glad that after watching this amazing recap I feel as though I do not have to actually sit through this rubbish. Thanks Julie and Brandy and Nacho!

  18. I liked the series in the beginning, but then I gave up, and I haven’t seen either movie. But if there was a Julie/Brandy reenactment for all the episodes I missed, I’d watch them right now!

  19. Nice recap. I fell asleep during the movie. So, no fingers from me.

    Some of the sets were pretty though.

  20. If I ever run into the girl who made me watch this show with her in the later seasons I’m going to throw the god damned dvd boxed set her head. but then there was that one girl who liked to bang after every episode from season 1. So conflicted.

  21. Once again, thank you Julie and Brandy for “telling it like it is with this movie!” You guys really make a great team -kind of like nooks and cranny’s in an english muffin! p.s. loved the camel!

  22. Are we ready for the next Sex and the City?

    I THINK SO!!
    Sex and the City 2 proves the market is still hungry to follow a women’s journey about life, love, friendship and sex. And we’ve been on this journey way before Sex and the City started in 1998. But can the creators of Sex and the City take it any further with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda or have they exhausted these stories and are ready to pass the martini to someone new?

    I THINK SO!!
    Party Girl Plus One is a web series that follows “Jen”, a 30 something divorcee whose abandoned her previous dating criteria and will date anyone and everyone until she finds her true Plus One. Chronicling each date in her dating diary, Jen uncovers a journey about life, love and self discovery. v

    Check out this hilarious episode as Jen encounters a “girls night out” that ends up being a “girls night in”.




  23. Smex and the City 2: ignored it.

    Recap: So good I had another margarita to celebrate.


  24. LAUGHED. MY. ASS. OFF. seriously dying over here
    I haven’t seen SATC 2 yet but i have a feeling your version is 100x better :D

  25. HAHAHAAA this was the best one ever. the samantha dick montage was hilarious. i love that julie played every character except for carrie that was prime

    ALSO i can’t believe you didn’t mention charlottes bangin irish (scottish?) nanny who didn’t wear a bra. yesss

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