NSFW Sunday: “Juicy Pink Box” Knows Dyke Sex, “All About Lesbian Sex” Knows Squat

Sooooo dyke porn. How do we feel about it? Recommendations? Favorites? Yesterday I was introduced to um, something called “Ultimate Surrender”? Does anyone know of this wrestling pornographic event, I believe it is on a site called youporn which I was also just introduced to because clearly I live under a rock, you’d hardly believe I used to be an indiscriminate trashwhore who wrote about sex for money, among other controversial lines of work I will only reveal for a serious signing bonus. I cannot link to said video ’cause I’m on porn-linking probation ever since that time I posted 8 Amateur Squirting videos and our Chief Operating Officer & Design Director asked me WTF I was thinking and made me take it down within twenty short minutes of its arrival in your lives via interweb.

Justine Joli - Dyke Porn Star and TOTAL CUTIE

Justine Joli - Dyke Porn Star and TOTAL CUTIE

HOW-F*CKING-EVER, there are still dykes committed to making real dyke porn that’s classy but raw and totally link-able and Jincey Lumpkin of Digiromp has recently launched Juicy Pink Box “isn’t your Daddy’s porn company. Envisioned, founded and maintained by a woman, this is real lesbian sex captured in full cinematic luster.”

SPECIAL NOTE: If you click on the “Juicy Pink Box” link, you’ll go to a credit card situation. You need to type “www.juicypinkbox.com” into your browser and you can go to the preview site that way.

Juicy Pink Box produces original pornographic film series in collaboration with artists & visionaries committed to an elevated aesthetic and natural dialog and inspired by classic cinema, iconic photographers and progressive fashion trends. They’ve got two original series already going starring queer porn stars like Jiz Lee, Syd Blakovitch, Justine Joli and Madison Young.

You can see a preview of like 12 people f*cking in the back of a taxi cab, which p.s., I highly recommend for ladies on a budget ’cause then you basically have already given a big tip. BTW Justine Joli who I just now disovered calls herself the world’s hottest geek, so perhaps Taylor can check her out for our next installment of Technostraddle’s Spicy Hot Geeks. I mean, hello robot?.

Picture 19

Also speaking of dyke porn, Sugarbutch reviews the Crash Pad Series: Volume 5 and Strap-On Motel.

LOLZ: Back in 2007, an author named JOHN for a website named Buzzle.com (“intelligent life on the web”) to to tell you “all about lesbian sex and terminology.” Why, well, because “alternate sex practice like same sex dating is always seen as bizarre … hence, here is an article that … tries to portray lesbian sex dating as not so bizarre.” Then he proceeds to make it sound REALLY F*CKING BIZARRE to those of us familiar with these actual practices in practice. Some highlights:

Lesbians find new and inventive ideas for sexual stimulation. It is any body’s guess, what they do in the close confine of bedroom.

Lesbian Kissing and smooching: like any other kissing. Kissing is expression of emotions between two women lovers.

Tribadism: Basically, tribadism is grinding vulva against some Opart of lesbian partner’s body. One can hump a partner’s thigh, rub vulva to pubic bone, or vulva to tailbone.

Baby Dyke: A young lesbian who is just comes out closets.
Diesel Dyke or Bulldaggers: is a very butch or manly lesbian and very violent.
Femme Fatale: A gorgeous female who is sexually very erotic and has the killer looks.
Gold Star Lesbian: is a lesbian who has never slept with a man and, does not intend to sleep with a man ever.
Lipstick Lesbian: is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes.

I wish I could combine all those lovely descriptions into one lesbian who comes out closets, is very violent, has the killer looks, and loves her shoes. Who doesn’t love shoes though? They protect your feet from the ground!

sex-scene-dec6

PROBS TRUE: Um, hostelbookers did a survey and determined that Australians are the best lovers. Hostelbookers! Does that seem funny to anyone else?

GALLERY: 105 Steamy Takes on Sexuality: “In 2009, we’ve seen a number of different takes on sensuality. Sure, a sprawling nude model will always win in the sensuality department, but this year we’ve also seen sensuous shoots that depict amputee models, women covered with tattoos and channel the retro circus and vaudeville era.”

bully-radeoALT BUT NOT: 77 Sexiest Suicide Girls: The 77 Sexiest Suicide Girls — the best part, for all ye who do not want to shell out money for Suicide Girls itself, is that when you click on one thumbnail, you somehow then have access to like 10 bajillion more photos. (@coed)

BABELAND: The Best Holiday Gift Kits at Babeland because who doesn’t want an orgasm in a box? Or you can go a little low budget with the The Snakebite Kit: Unsung Hero of Sensation Play.

BAD SEX: Bad Sex in Fiction Award: “A Negative View of Women Leads to Bad Sex Writing, as Well as Bad Sex Generally.” I believe this is true.

NAKED GIRLS: Bathroom Portraits: “Our contributing photographer Nate “Igor” Smith has a longtime hobby: shooting nudes in club bathrooms for his site Driven By Boredom. He went through his back files to bring you this fine retrospective.”

BEHIND THE SCENES: Porn Problems: The tricky thing about making porn, for me, is not being sexual in front of the camera. It’s not even having sex, attractively, with someone you’ve just met. It’s the terribly unnatural timing of it.

Riese is a Jewish lesbian and the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2596 articles for us.

28 Comments

  1. OK surveys say Australia has the highest percent of gays AND that Australians make the best lovers. This is why when people ask me “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” I always say “Australia”. I mean, also for the coral reefs and kangaroos and blahblahblah.

    Also, those nightclub bathroom nude portraits reminded me of a gay club I went to in England where the bathrooms had vibrator dispensers. Put a few quid in the machine and out pops a mini vibrator. It felt like they were saying “WE KNOW WHAT YOU QUEERS ARE DOING IN THESE BATHROOM STALLS AND WE LIKE IT. HERE, LET US HELP YOU.”

  2. I <3 SG, and I give them credit for my sexual awakening at age 14 when one cold, winter night I saw their "First Tour" movie on HBO. But Nixon is nowhere to be found on that list, and therefore that site has lost all credibility in my book.

  3. I worked for the company that produced Ultimate Surrender. While many lesbians flocked to the site because of stars Syd and Vendetta, it seemed another site Wired Pussy with dominatrix Princess Donna had a huge lesbian following. Of course WP is not for the faint if heart– electricity play never is.

  4. Oho. This “lesbian” sex article must have been sent back from the future skynet-style because it seems like it was written for robosexuals:

    “Lesbian sex is a popular activity among lesbian woman. Sex is pleasing and fascinating activity…However, main features of sex are to reach the climax…In lesbian sex climax or orgasm is achieved by artificially manipulating the genitals and erotic zones – this is known as lesbian sex.”

  5. “Bisexual is a woman who has sexual relationship with man and woman also. For them bisexual dating is very popular because they also involved with adult swingers or free swinger personals for group sex and partner exchange.” … wuh

  6. My fav lesbian porn- Pink & White Productions (Crash Pad Series & Champion), Maria Beatty’s Bleu Productions, Courtney Trouble (Reel Queer Productions- her films Roulette, Nostalgia, Speakeasy, Seven Minutes in Heaven), Madison Young’s Lesbian Life & Perversions of Lesbian Lust, Good Dyke Porn, and SIR VIdeo 🙂

  7. Yeah, who better to define lesbians than someone who sort of by definition hasn’t had direct experience. I mean, fine if nobody else has had direct experience either. But since there are, why not just ask someone who has? Oh wait! Because generally speaking it’s none of his business?

    Eh, that sounds harsh. If you’re, say, a sex educator you can’t speak about everything from direct experience. Still, you shouldn’t just wing it either. And saying something like “Here’s how XYZ of LGBT outreach group ABC describes the differences between groups of lesbians” is going to sound a lot less Male Answer Syndrome-ish. (Not that I’ve ever suffered from that!)

    At least he wasn’t writing lesbian-POV sex scenes. Which reminds me, thanks for the link!

    Actually now I’m curious how one’a’them “gold star lesbians” he mentions would define different kinds of hetero men? And how recognizable it would seem to him?

    figleaf

  8. Well, I have heard all of those definitions thrown around online at least once or twice. Gold star lesbian was mentioned in the L word. So he isnt exactly making them up from nowhere.
    also, justine joli is so hot.

  9. So my friend was like ‘Oh hey you should check out Autostraddle, it’s like just gay enough to be awesome, but not so gay that you feel like you need a bath afterwards’. And so I did. And I clicked this link. And now I need a bath. And some clean underwear. And maybe better friends. That last point is debatable.

  10. Obviously I have being doing homo sex all wrong.
    According to that guide to lesbianism, anal fisting is an extremely common part of lesbian sex, but going down on someone? Nope, doesn’t exist sorry.
    Obviously next time I have sex with someone I should just rub up against their tailbone instead of wasting my time on oral sex…

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