Is Gin The Worst?

henricks-gin-artwork2Gin: some people like it, but a lot of people really don’t like it. According to our annual Autostraddle Reader survey, only 3% of you folks cited gin as your primary alcoholic beverage of choice, making it second-to-last amongst preferred alcohols (Tequila came in with 2%). Somehow, the topic of gin came up in our Office E-Mail Reply-All the other day, and it turns out that people have VERY strong opinions about gin. Maybe you do too! Here’s ours:

Lydia: Why does everyone other than me and great aunts hate gin? GIN IS MY HOMIE.

Kate: Lydia, I openly invite you to my social group where EVERYONE LOVES GIN EXCEPT ME. There is a gin palace that’s supposed to be a recreation of a victorian gin palace in Dublin and aesthetically, I want to be there but tastewise I don’t want to be that asshole who is like no, no, a whiskey sour for me please, thank you.

Maddie: I like gin.

Stef: Gin is so gross i’m sorry but you guys are wrong.

Mari: It tastes like Pine-Sol.

Kate: I want to like gin because of Hendricks Gin because in my mind it is made by Christina Hendricks, but I just can’t.

Laneia: HENDRICK’S GIN. It’s the only gin worth ginning. Gin it with tonic water and a cucumber slice and then feel really really goddamned fancy and clean because water and cucumbers. ALSO if you want to make people feel kinda weird or sad for you, just pour some gin in a glass or bowl and dip watermelon chunks in it and eat it while you watch home improvement shows on a saturday afternoon.​

Riese: When I was 15 and had never been drunk, Lauren Merrell gave me gin and Mountain Dew in her parents basement and I drank a bunch of it and felt SUPER WEIRD and then I spent the entire night throwing up in her bathroom which had a mirror next to the toilet so I could witness my own downfall and ever since that fine day in 1996 I’ve been unable to consume gin or lemon-lime flavored sodas without feeling nauseous. Seriously it threw me off Sprite for life.

Stef: In college, a roommate’s friend left a bottle of Bombay Sapphire in our fridge so this boy I liked drank it, mixing it with everything in our fridge including ketchup (because we were like 19 and idiots), and obviously ended up vomiting into my toilet and crying for hours while I rubbed his back and he deliriously screamed I JUST WANT TO BE STRAIGHT AGAIN and tried to kiss me. it traumatized me so much i can’t touch the stuff. Also yes, Pine-Sol.

Carolyn: I am extremely for yellow northern Quebec gin and neutral on all other gins, except that sometimes you just need a fucking gin and tonic and maybe to talk grimly about towels. But also yes to what Laneia said about cucumbers.

Gabby: My first-ever girlfriend, the one who got lost on a mountain during a hippie lesbian silent retreat, loved gin and tonics. She drank them all the time while smoking cloves, wearing all black, and listening to her RENT soundtrack cd. I don’t drink that shit because memories.

Stef: Gabby, was this your first girlfriend?

Gabby: Stef, you just killed me and then I was born again. Also, yes. That’s her. We still talk. She’s sober now. Still wears all black.

Hannah: Okay so full disclosure, when I was a stupid high schooler my friend brought a bottle of gin in a Poland spring bottle to first period computers and I took a solid chug (or ten). I thought it was vodka, and I don’t know why vodka might have been better, but I always feel it’s important to note that I thought it was vodka. I took a French test, which I really thought I had nailed (I mean, I am significantly better at speaking French when I’m drunk), and then promptly puked in front of my whole science class upon arrival but for whatever reason nobody noticed but the TA who let me take an entire chem test before suggesting I go home. The smell of gin was like kryptonite to me until college when somebody introduced me to the GINgerale, and gin and I have been having a love affair ever since. One that is rife with hangovers because who knew either gin or tonic had so much sugar???

Those are my feelings about gin.

Kaitlyn: One time I drank too much gin before going on a dorm bonding trip to IHOP (I packed a water bottle of straight gin for the road, obvs) where I was really happy and pumped until the second my chocolate chip pancakes arrived, at which point I ran into the men’s room and fell onto the toilet so I could vomit. I say “fell” because I literally dropped to the ground and hit the toilet so hard I bruised my chest. I also puked so violently that I burst a bunch of blood vessels in my face. Then my sober friend arrived and I begged him to drive me home. I slept on the couch with a plastic grocery bag that I would wake up and vomit into periodically. And that’s why I didn’t drink gin for several years until my last job literally paid me to drink fancy cocktails.

July: One time in college, my best friend Lane & I drank an entire bottle of gin, tried to bake a cake in the shape of Abraham Lincoln, & somehow got a hold of a box of oil pastels & drew all over the wall. I woke up the next morning with chocolate all over my face and stick-figure dogs all over my bedroom, with the words “I LOVE DOGZZZZZ YES YES” written on the walls.

Lizz: I love gin.

Rachel: In the summer of 2010 I was going through a breakup and drank a significant portion of a bottle of gin as well as, I believe, a tumblr full of tequila before going to a Pride party. I was blacked out before I even got to the bar, and managed to throw up about half my body weight yet also try to make a pass at a girl in front of her girlfriend as Lizz was dragging me out of the bar. I woke up on Lizz’s couch to find she had kindly put my disgusting clothes in a plastic bag and dressed me in her ultimate frisbee jersey from college and sweatpants, and then had to spend the rest of the day in her bed until about 4 pm because i was so hungover I couldn’t move. I was supposed to go to my ex’s girlfriend’s birthday that day, which involved HORSEBACK RIDING, and so called them and made up an elaborate lie instead. I am certain there is more that happened that evening but I hope Lizz never tells me or anyone else. In retrospect this could be why i don’t like gin very much.

Lizz: One time Rachel drank a TON of gin and gay pride when she was going through this breakup and then drank like an entire tumbler of tequila and I think blacked out because when we got to the bar she made a million passes at me and every other girl in the bar including one who was with her girlfriend and then while our friend was finding a bathroom she started to puke and then puked a million times into a planter and then out the window of a car and then in my apartment so I put her to bed on the couch. In the AM I had to leave but I think she ended up staying at my place until like dinner or something and skipped some horseback riding thing with her ex-gf.

Lydia: This conversation makes me want a delicious gin based beverage. Also, I can almost understand the Pine-sol comparison. Still gonna drink it.

Okay readers, now it’s your turn: is gin the worst, the best, or something in between? Any horrifying gin stories to share with the group? It’s okay, we’re all friends here.

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3181 articles for us.


  1. I am usually ambivalent about the things that people are supposed to either love or hate! On one hand, gin is delicious in a gin and tonic in the summertime with cucumber. On the other hand, once I drank too much gin and then the next morning I puked my guts up in the bathroom of a fancy brunch place. The lady in the next stall was very sympathetic but I think she thought I was pregnant, not hungover.

  2. I love me some gin, but WOW those are some stories! It seems like gin can be a pretty divisive spirit, but I suppose it only takes one bad experience to ruin things. On a related note, I can no longer even look at bottles of UV vodka.

    Gin isn’t my first go-to liquor (that would be single malt Scotch), but I *love* an expertly-mixed Tanqueray or Hendrick’s dry martini now and then. Sadly, I like martinis best as a pre-dinner cocktail, which pretty much guarantees a tipsy beginning to my meal. C’est la vie!

    My wife’s favorite drink is Tanqueray & tonic, so a new bottle of gin is a pretty big deal in our household.

    • what even IS uv vodka? is it meant to be drunk by humans? i ordered it at a bar once because it was the only vodka option and then i felt really angry that i paid money for it.

    • ahahah, there’s like a quarter of a bottle of that shit that’s been sitting on my desk here for the last six months. Blue Raspberry.

  3. Gin is made from juniper berries pooped out by angels, masticated by unicorns, fermented in Gaia’s womb, and distilled through rainbows.

  4. I really like gin. Gin and tonic is my go to “I’m at a shitty or unfamiliar bar and am unsure if this bartender knows how to mix a good cocktail” because it’s impossible to fuck up a gin and tonic TOO badly. That said, cheap gin is the worst. You have to at least go middle of road.
    The first time I got really hammered was on five o’clock gin after junior prom. I got into a drinking competition with a bunch of much bigger dudes because I was a dumbass and had a thing for Marion Ravenwood. And won. And then promptly spent the rest of the night puking into a bag and end up being carried to my car by my date who I still feel a lot of sympathy for, but he also spent the entire dance getting high in the bathroom. So.

  5. Gin is the WORST, but for some reason I took a trip to NYC and ordered multiple $10 Tom Collins. I was trying to fit in with these hip, writer types and felt fancy as fuck, but it was still the worsttttttttt!!!

    Also, can we talk about Judy Funnie and her ALH?!?!?!

  6. Okay, I love gin…I mean, it’s in my username. I feel like enough of anything will lead to insane drunken stories though. I think the only crazy gin story I have is one in which I went to a bar, ordered a Hendricks gimlet, and the bartender gave me a pint glass full of gin with a lime wedge. I mean it was literally just gin and ice in there. I guess he forgot the lime juice? It was busy so I was like whatever, and I drank it. I only had one drink that night, though.

  7. I like gin, especially gin and tonics.. You you aren’t a fan of the whole christmas-tree taste, try New Amsterdam Gin. It isn’t near as heavy on the juniper and tastes more citrus-y.

  8. Hendricks and tonic is my ultimate fancy lady summer beverage. Also any not so delicious gin and tonic can be made better by adding a tiny bit of elderflower cordial to it. Mmmm.

  9. I spent a couple minutes puzzled in front of ”my friend brought a bottle of gin in a Poland spring bottle to first period computers” because I couldn’t imagine that America gave special computers to bleed on, but then thought for a minute and came up with an elaborate backstory like ‘Ah, liquid courage for facing a puberty info computer lab?’…

    before finally understanding what ‘period’ meant in the US.

  10. I guess I just like pine flavored beverages, see also: IPA’s.

    Gin & Tonics are like a deep cleansing breath of crisp mountain air on a sweltering summer afternoon.

  11. That Hendrix ad is the best!
    I LOVE gin! I was having really nasty hangovers and a friend tipped me off that tonic has tons of sugar in it, so I drink gin and soda and no more hangovers… Well, usually ha I feel like gin is a flavor like cilantro, you love it or HATE it. I like floral, earthy, soapy flavors :)

  12. I’m partially to Tom Collins though that name is starting to sound a bit too straight for my taste. And the though of Christina Hendricks gin, mmmm. Not sure about others here but Bombay sapphire is nice as is the higher proof, extra filtered gin.

  13. Not all gin tastes like trees or Pine-Sol. If you actually don’t want to drink trees/cleaning liquid, try American gins, which tend to use less juniper and more not juniper in their botanical flavor profile than English gins.

  14. One time I drank lots of gin and also tequila at a theatre party at Cornell (I went to Ithaca College), when I was a freshman. I ended up ugly crying at this kid who knew the girl I was in (unrequited) love with in high school, and confessing a bunch of shit about it to him. I think it was probably the first time I came out to someone actually? I don’t know. He also called her up and said that I was there with him. I don’t remember what else what said, but I don’t think he told her about my megacrush. Who knows really. Then I threw up a bunch. The next morning I woke up on the couch of a Cornell girl I barely knew, and didn’t remember how I got there, or why I was still at Cornell and not back at Ithaca College in my dorm.

    That’s a summary of my gin story! What I remember of it anyway. Hope you enjoyed it. :P

  15. Gin is delicious, especially in fruity cocktails! My wife had a bad gin experience that involved orange juice and tater tots, but I’m trying to recruit her to Team Gin.

    Tequila, on the other hand… nooooope.

  16. While I don’t have any horror stories about Gin, I do have to say that I’m not a big fan of it, and have yet to find a gin drink that I like.

    Then again, I didn’t start drinking until I was 21, and didn’t begin more seriously drinking until I was about 23 (I’m 24 now).

  17. GIN IS THE WORST. And Kaitlyn, do you remember last year when I went to that sailing open bar and drank gin and tonics? I blacked out (I’m convinced I’m actually allergic to something) and ended up 2 miles away somewhere near rush hospital. Also it was during that storm the governor called an emergency for…. I came home and just cried on Sarah’s shoulder for a half hour….

  18. So the first time I ever ordered a drink in a bar, I was panicking because I didn’t really know /how/, all I could think of were these embarrassingly-named cocktails like “Sex on the Beach”, so I ordered the first thing that didn’t have “Sex” or “Nipple” in the name and it was a gin and tonic. I was very pleasantly surprised to find I liked it a lot, and I’ve been drinking them ever since. None of my friends like gin but that means MORE FOR ME

  19. I had a cabin mate at camp who LOVED gin and tonic and I had some during the staff reading and it got SWELTERING in the room so I stepped out for fresh air and felt the whole entire camp spin. I downed water and found my cabin mate to be EXTREMELY HAPPY when we finally hit KlubDeer.

    In college I’m pretty sure I had gin all the time. It had the tendency to make anyone in that room puke. Usually there were about 10 of us drinking a 2L bottle of gin. Usually in our state of drunkeness we would pour gin into the chaser glass with coke so people would get even more drunk than we already were. This sparked many funny conversations in the morning including one where NO ONE wanted to admit they had thrown up in my bathroom and didn’t bother to flush/clean it up. Also for some reason the bathroom I had in our little apartment/house in college had a barrel lock on the OUTSIDE of the door and also one inside. Needless to say that made for A LOT OF PRANKS and shutting off of the lights. It also caused sentences like ‘Make the blanket square! Make it square! It’s a rectangle! Make it a square!’ And also the shoes that were found in mixing bowls and under the sink. You are not forgotten.

  20. So I guess gin isn’t the worst but I guess it isn’t the best either. But it does make for a lot of stories! =D

  21. Did ya’ll even notice you spelled tumbler “tumblr” the first time?? hahaha
    My gin story: When I was a young teen my older brother got 3 water bottles. All completely unmarked, 1 was vodka, 1 was gin, and 1 was… something else clear. I don’t remember much about that night other than the fact that I knew I didn’t want to drink “that tree shit,” but kept going back and forth because that and the vodka looked exactly the same and apparently I was too drunk to smell before I swigged.
    Must not have ruined me though because now a gin and tonic is my bar-go-to after what’s on special.

  22. Personally I dig it’s weird pine needles flavor but I feel compelled to point out that the common denominator across all these stories isn’t just drinking gin, it’s drinking MASSIVE QUANTITIES of gin.

    Causative relation? You decide.

    Because I don’t know shit about drinking. I have never had more than three drinks in a night and between the estrogen, the spiro, and the zoloft, I get pretty stupid after two cocktails.

  23. Wait I love gin. Especially with a clever berry mixer. Though too much of it can lead to some poor choices.

  24. I am all about respecting everyone’s personal tastes but HOW HOW HOW is tequila not everyone most favorite booze? I mean yes, gin, delicious, I love you, my dad makes badass gin cocktails and everyone has a great time, but…TEQUILA.

    • I second the tequila love! I was always afraid of it (on account of my brother had terrible luck with tequila) but then I tried it and was like “THIS TASTES LIKE MAGICAL RIVER PEBBLES” and it’s been love ever since.

    • tequilaaaaaaaaa! i feel like everyone side-eyes it because that one time they did too many tequila shots at some frat boy’s probably racist cinco de mayo party. or because all they’ve ever drank is some nasty-ass cuervo gold. whatever. more for us! 1800 + grapefruit juice + salt rim = heaven

  25. Gin and tonic is totally my go-to at any bar/restaurant that only serves IPAs (which in Minnesota is basically all of them, because evidently people here like the taste of copper and piss).

    I think my only gin story is that in the millions of times that I got drunk with my best friend, her husband and I (who were both the gin drinkers) tried every time to get her to agree to a threesome. It never succeeded. But on that note, I think one of the things I miss most about small-town life is going out into the country to a friend’s house, starting up a campfire, and getting totally hammered. Every weekend.

  26. This post was making me sorta sad because I didn’t think I had a fun gin story, but then I remembered when I was in the midst of my glorious ill-fated long-distance relationship with my first and to-date only girlfriend I drank about half a bottle of gin at my friend’s house and then sat in the bathroom with her while she threw up casually drinking a PBR against my better judgment and apparently broke off in the middle of my sentence about how “it’ll be alright sweetie, you just need to expel the poison from your system” to vomit spectacularly in the sink. Ahhh, summertime.

  27. My roomate asked me to mop the floor, and while I was able to scrub it with hot water and a towel, I was unable to find any cleaning fluid in my house. But there was Gin in the kitchen, because I had been heartlessly left with a girls entire College Alcohol Learning Experience on my counter. I liberally sprinkled it about the floor, and the kitchen smelled great. That is the only time I’ve had any use for Gin.

  28. I have a passionate love for gin, & I’ve recently turned my girlfriend on to the stuff. – it makes me really proud that she’s less likely to order a vodka and cranberry now that she can order a gin ricky or gin gimlet.

    Anyway,there are so many different, delightful types with so many varied flavors, and my favorite classic cocktails are gin-based (the Aviation and the Last Word. If you find yourself in a nice craft cocktail bar and haven’t had either, I HIGHLY recommend these as your next two drinks! Also, Negronis made with Aperol instead of Campari are outrageous.).

    I’ve never been a fan of tonic, but I’m a fan of “gin and soda with a shit ton of lime”. ANYHOW, I’m going to drop some gin love on y’all who might want to experiment beyond juniper heavy “tree” gin and list some of my favorites:

    Tanqueray Malaca – hard to find because it was released in a small batch a while ago, possibly just once. It’s a long story that I’m happy to tell if you’d like because it’s my Favorite Gin Ever. It’s really bright and grapefruity and delightful and I have a bottle hiding under my bar that I’m saving for idk maybe the apocalypse or something because I am not ok thinking about a time when I’ll never get to taste it again.
    Aviation Gin– made to go in Aviations (cocktail). A bit floral, very clean.
    Nolet– Made by the same distillery as Ketel One. Has a touch of cucumber and a bigger touch of rosewater. It’s like that really sexy gin that Hendrick’s cant tell whether it would rather be or sleep with.
    Smooth Ambler Stillhouse Collection Barrel Aged Gin– aged in Old Scout barrels, this beauty is a gin for whiskey drinkers. I’ve heard it described as “gin with curves”. Seeing as I’m both, I’ m a huge fan. Ransom gin also falls in this category.

    I also really like Uncle Val’s, Martin Miller, and Beefeater 24 (probably because the bottle’s pretty) but I’m getting lazy describing and I’ll just throw them there in case any one cared ;)

  29. I’m just thinking of that song which has a rap and a country version, ‘sippin’ on gin and juice’. Why can’t I remember where on earth I heard that song and who sings it?

    I love gin. I danced with my gf’s ex who I hated at the time when I was drunk on gin martinis. Such are the powers of gin.

    • “Rollin’ down the street, smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin and juice…with my mind on my money, and my money on my mind.” Snoop Dogg’s breakout hit, anthem of my college years, though I did not like gin at the time.

  30. I love gin. I love whisky. Tequila is ok. I hate vodka except in bloody marys. I hate ipa and chardonnay.

    Story: Once I had a cat that died unexpectedly and after we buried her beside my friend’s apartment by the lake I quickly poured myself some of his roommate’s gin, with roommate’s permission. But then I finished the bottle. When he tried to get me to replace it I told him I had to drink it because my cat had died. (Maybe a little asshole-y of me.)

  31. My story is not interesting enough to be told. All I can add is that when I was living in a smaller city (Santo Domingo forever, yeah!) I only ordered gin when it was really late because it was the only thing I was sure was the real deal based on the fact that NOBODY ELSE SEEMED TO LIKE IT.

  32. I use to love tanqueray and Canada Dry back in my college days. I would say Seagrams definitely taste like pine sol. But this article definitely makes me wanna go try a gin and tonic I’ve never had one!

  33. Once I drank a lot of gin and my lovely also gin-drunk scottish friend spent a great deal of the night telling me that Hendricks is proper fucking wedding gin. I videoed it, because it was great.

    Then a bunch of people jumped in the pool. We were at a wedding. Maybe we were at my wedding. Some of the less drunk adults were seriously concerned that one of the drunk Scots would drown in the pool and the people who’d come from overseas to attend said wedding would be held up in a court process and not be allowed to leave for a VERY. LONG. TIME.

    Fortunately this didn’t happen. My feelings about gin are very closely linked to my feelings about scottish accents and Helen Stewart – they live in a warm nice place close to my heart.

  34. Gin is my favourite.

    Though I was once banned from drinking it for several years by my closest friends. I would always end up in tears stumbling home from [xxx queer disco] alone without telling anyone, or telling everyone that I knew they secretly hated me. Etc.

    But those were dark days. I’m past all that now.


  35. I always take gin with me to house parties. It’s one of the perks of liking gin. You won’t have to fight to make sure that you get any of the booze you brought because so many people don’t like it. But you are guaranteed to make friends with that one other person at the party who’s like, “OMG, gin!” Then you drink with that person all night. Instant friend.

    • Yes. So many time yes. This was the only way I survived the really dark point in my life when I was in my mid-twenties and going to parties with undergrads because I had just moved to a new state and was underemployed and my 21-year-old coworkers were the only people I knew. No one wanted to touch my Tanqueray.

  36. Gin and Tonic in summer and a good single malt in winter. Absolutely Devine!
    I don’t have gin horror story but I did have a very unfortunate experience with Scotch,when I was trying to get passed the last bit of really lousy behavior that my last gf perpetrated against me. I’d been having a pity party with the scotch, lamenting my rotten choise in women, when some dear friends decided to take me to a drag show to cheer me up. I threw up over the stars’ feet and promptly passed out in the club. They took me home, cleaned me up and put me to bed with an icepak and a bucket. Thank the Goddess for good friends.

  37. Love is like a bottle of Gin, but a bottle of Gin is not like love!

    All the lessons you need to learn about consuming Gin is laid out in this song…

    I am must limit myself to two gin and tonics on a night out as it makes me angry drunk which is not pleasant for anyone involved…..i speak way too much truth under the influence of gin!
    However while in Lisbon in April I had the best gin and tonic of my life!! Hendricks gin with tonic water, copious amount of cucumber, cracked black pepper and what i believe were little elder flowers! It’s was sublime!

  38. omg but i love gin! if I HAVE to drink a clear liquor, it’s definitely gonna be gin. Vodka will always make me feel like that too drunk girl at the first house party of the semester, plus you have to buy really expensive vodka for it to not be the worst decision of your life (smirnoff is satan). And then tequila–or as I call it, te-kill ya–is aboslutely always the worst decision I make. But like, I can dig a bottle of New Amsterdam gin. Gin and cran anybody????

  39. Gin + sugar + rosehip tea + hot water = a divine sunset cocktail.

    I should probably mention my friends and I do this when watching the sun go down on the top of a mountain in Slovenia during summer. Otherwise I don’t often like gin. But I’ve never tried a gin and tonic.

  40. i presently have on my desk a bottle of delicious Monkey 47 Schwarzwald gin, and Fever Tree tonic water – also yes, this is an ad agency

  41. gin reminds me of my grandma Gerry making inappropriate comments about the nearest person’s rear-end.
    also, this article made me piss myself with laughter.

  42. My boyfriend bought me a bottle of gin and one of tonic water yesterday because he had a party and someone finished my old bottle. It’s hot and I’m working from home. I’m strongly considering cracking them open, but since it’s 4:50pm I probably should wait a bit. And we don’t have limes, so it would sort of be a waste of time.

    Thanks for the temptation though.

  43. gin may be the worst, but y’all are decidedly the best

    I tried some gin cocktail yrs ago with a friend’s parents made with this purple liqueur that tasted even more like potpourri than the gin itself:
    it was like drinking the essence your great aunt’s house, the one who had a cabinet of those collectible spoons and gave you a fun refrigerator magnet every time you visited on summer vacation

  44. after a night out last weekend, i awoke to discover i had acquired two new items of clothing and a bottle of cheap gin. i have no idea where it came from or who gave it to me. i feel a significant gin story may be a-lurkin round the corner.

  45. I don’t like gin, which is not very surprising because I don’t like most alcoholic beverages. When the situation requires it, like if someone’s making a toast, I just take one or two sips, but other than that, I hardly ever drink. TBH, I have a hard time understanding how people consume so much of this stuff, considering most booze tastes awful unless you mix it with a ton of juice. Oh well.

  46. “I don’t remember.” Often said the day after a sloe gin bender. However a memorable awakening saw me in a different set of clothes to what I wore previously, a traffic cone over my head and no recollection of the previous night. I’m surprised my liver still functions after three years of temporary alcoholism.

  47. Lo, Ethereal and Greylock of the Berkshires, oh sweet, sweet Cold River, dear Leopold, you king of kings, dear older brother Martin Miller, Terroir isn’t just for wine – St. George is a fine distiller, and if you must there’s always Hendrick’s, and Boodles is a ladykiller.


  48. I have a remedy for those of y’all who think gin is the worst. It’s called a French 69/Chelsea Darling (I mean, helloooo) and you need to make yourself one and sit on a porch. Gin, champagne, and fresh lime. It makes you f-ing delightful.

  49. Hahaha this is like the story sharing thread of my dreams. In this current stage of my life, I enjoy gin but have to be in the right mood for it. During my college life, I was a participant in our shadow showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I went on to be the organizer/director for two years, but during my first year with the show I was the criminologist. The cast discovered that the only drink we had in common was gin, so gin became the drink of Rocky. On my campus the Rocky cast performs drunk, and on the night of the show, about half an hour beforehand, we all realized that we were so busy setting up that we were STILL SOBER. We promptly poured gin into water bottles and began drinking it in large amounts. Everyone got drunk real fast, and turned into a shit show over the course of the night. We’ve all got our own stories, but the highlight of mine was the big monologue the crim gives right before the floor show. I was doing this gag where I’d remove an item of clothing each time I went up on stage, and was down to my big button-up shirt when I hit my monologue. I was so wasted that I’d forgotten my lines, so I announced this to the audience and asked if they wanted me to take my shirt off. (They did.) I took it off to reveal a corset underneath that was kinda big on me and doesn’t show off my boobs, which are awesome, but I was shyer then so whatever, it was still absolutely ridiculous and hilarious.

    I did not vomit but was spectacularly hungover the next day. Also, someone told a cast member that they’d seen us drinking from the plastic water bottles and were “glad we were staying hydrated.” Whoops.

    Highlights of the stories that aren’t really mine to tell involve a lot of toplessness, vomit, and making out in front of a large crowd.

  50. my oldest memories of gin are camping and sharing a tent with my best friend and his girlfriend (who had a secret crush on me) and drinking it mixed with dr. pepper. when i woke up the next morning i got to listen to her giving him a blow job as i stayed quiet and pretended to still be asleep.

  51. gin is glorious, i feel so much less like a boozehound (and more like an adult) if i go home after work and drink a g&t than a vodka with literally anything.

  52. Ok because tequila has been popping up in the comments I feel a need to share a certain story which if you personally know me…you will know the person in said story.

    So in college (an excellent start to the story) aside from gin we liked having tequila. Finals had just ended and the plan was drinking at my house. The plan was like 10 people. Only 2 showed up. 3 including this guy who girl 1 was dating. Anyway. So its basically Jose Cuervo vs 3 girls. At 330 pm. About 2/3 of the way done girl 2 just hits the sack. Girl 1 and I start doing all this crazy shit that NO ONE remembers except me and the guy. Crazy shit like ordering delivery, girl 1 wanting to go after said delivery guy who made some snide remark about smelling like alcohol at 5pm. And then girl 1 downs like the remaining 1/4 of the bottle. I mean picks it up and just chugs it. Which caused even crazier stuff to happen i.e girl 1 throwing up on the floor and guy did NOT even help (see straight guys are aholes) not to even hold her hair. When I put the trashcan next to her she suddenly just scoops up her stuff and puts in the trashcan. :O Then I finally move her to my bed where vomit goes on my blankets..and the floor. AMAZINGLY girl 1 doesnt even get it on herself and starts cussing for not having a toothbrush. So 7pm.. everyone is ZZZZZZZ and im laughing then fall asleep and wake up at intervals until 6am the next morning where we all nurse our hangovers with some mcdonalds breakfast.

    • Two words: colgate wisps.
      And as a child sufferer of stomach migranes, wicker baskets and ultra thin plastic trash liners are the devil.

      Also um holy shit puke and bare skin ouch, what the fuck but not many people know puke as intimately as I do and she was drunk.
      Still *shivers*

  53. I thoroughly enjoy G+Ts with lots of lime. It’s my go to. Like most folks have said, you can’t mess it up out at a new bar. The best gin drink I’ve ever had was at FarmacIa in old city, they make an incredible gin, elderberry, champagne concoction that goes great with any of their brunch. Also, where else can you get 1/2 price fancy brunch drinks [not just mimosas or bloodys] in Philly??

  54. As a long-time gin drinker I can guarantee that all these hangovers are coming from tonic. Tonic is the devil.

    • Definitely. For me, gin is the least hangover-inducing of all the boozes. It’s also the most likely to keep me relatively clear-headed (and full-memoried) even if I overdo it a bit.

  55. ” Lydia: This conversation makes me want a delicious gin based beverage. Also, I can almost understand the Pine-sol comparison. Still gonna drink it.”

    This sums up my feelings perfectly!

  56. I swear someone at work had gin-scented cigarettes (I sit right next to the door to the smoking area) and I decided I both wanted and deserved to have gin tonight. I mixed it with orange dry. I ALSO LIKE IT with regular orange soda, grapefruit juice, pomegranate dry (the best), coffee, and straight. So I was texting my friend and she asked me if I read that autostraddle article about gin and I decided to read it while I was drinking my gin. It was extremely entertaining at first but to be honest I totally tuned out after Judy Funnie.

  57. I started drinking gin because I really got into M*A*S*H one summer. And then I ran out of seasons of that show and just kept on drinking all the gin.

    Also, it helps that I’ve never been hungover from gin and, weirdly enough, usually wake up after a gin night feeling super alert morning person-y. In contrast, vodka makes me tired and rum makes me flat-out ill. The addition of tonic water only makes this effect stronger. I’ve met other people who’ve experienced this as well. Is this a thing? Hell if I know.

    Gin is ~*~MAGIC~*~

  58. Whenever I think of gin, I think of this car I used to drive that had a lot of weird quirks. For example, sometimes it wouldn’t start when it was really cold outside. As a freshman I was at the queer college student conference in upstate New York in February and I had driven my group of friends to the conference because I was the only one with a car. As you can probably guess, upstate New York gets real cold at night in February. So we’re trying to leave the conference to go to the gay bar and my car won’t start so I had to call AAA and we all sat in my car waiting and drinking cheap gin out of a paper bag to stay warm. But it actually ended up being a pretty good night! And also my username is partially a praise of gin.

  59. One time, my best friend drank 5 gin and tonics at a happy HOUR (literally an hour…) and proceeded to kill a half handle of some kind of gin afterwards. She prized herself on whipping up some guacamole for her guests and decides the secret ingrident is cinnamon. Proceeds to eat more than half of it, ruthlessly concerned when it is all gone. Then she puts a pizza in the oven, atop a variety of baking pans and muffin tins only to finally drop the pizza face down in the oven upon removal.
    I never got any pizza.
    I still love to drink gin with her

  60. This confuses me, because I started drinking gin & tonics when I saw that a hot older lesbian I looked up to/ was into did, and since then I’ve always just assumed that’s what the cool lesbians drank.

    It’s still my go-to in gay bars because whiskey is dangerous and g&ts are like juniper juicewater.

  61. I’m a fan of gin, but my gf says it tastes like Christmas and not in a good way. I totally get that pine-y vibe, but I’ll still feel super fancy and drink it with some ice-cubes and tonic. PLUS GIN AND TONICS GLOW UNDER BLACK LIGHT. Let’s just think about that magic for a minute.

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