Holigay Gift Guide: Televisionary Edition

Hey there starship troopers! It’s the holiday season and we’re here to help you get your shit together in a variety of ways: recipes, kits, gift guides, holiday how-tos and so very much more. Come along with us, won’t you, to Autostraddle Holigays 2011! FYI, if you follow the amazon links from our website when making holiday purchases, Autostraddle gets a little percentage of that money via our Amazon affiliates account, so we encourage you to do that All Season Long!! Thank you!

Happy Holidays! I hope you all are spending your money responsibly but since you’re not we have a surprise for you. We care about you so much that we compiled a list of gifts for you and those people you love/tolerate for the most part.

Here in the TV department, (no one calls it that) we have a few things that will enhance your viewing experience. Often when lounging in a supine position you probably think, “Wow. I wish I could watch TV like this.” But since you don’t have a tv on the ceiling this isn’t possible. I bet you try to position your laptop so you can watch on your back but often it falls near your face. This is bad. Since we can’t fix all of your problems, instead we have some ideas to make your entire television experience more pleasurable that don’t include having sex during.

Wireless TV Headphones

Endorsed by Otto Mann

"That is flagrant false advertising."

Cashmere Socks and Comfy Slippers

Endorsed by Tom Haverford

"I'm a cashmere, velvet candy cane."

Bacon Wallet

Endorsed by Ron Swanson

"I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food."

Books by Funny Ladies

Endorsed by Liz Lemon

Dealbreaker should be a real book

Tardis Cookie Jar

Endorsed by Doctor Who

"Ah, that friend of your mother's. He does like his snacks, doesn't he?"

Troy and Abed in the Morning Mug

Endorsed by Troy Barnes

"You know they're doing a fake morning show?"

NBC Page Shirt

Endorsed by Kenneth Parcell

"What most people don't know is that NBC is still a network."

Silk Pajamas

Endorsed by Barney Stinson

"Suitjama up!"

5-Piece Knife Set

Endorsed by Elizabeth Falkner

"Please pack your knives and go."


Endorsed by Abed Nadir

"Is Charades off the table?"

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Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.


  1. that tardis cookie jar and mindy kaling’s book would be perfect. mindy kaling by herself would be a great present too, though!

  2. Based on the wallet and that quote, I’ve determined that I AM Ron Swanson. Or, y’know, his long lost daughter. I do have dark hair.

    • I’m a huge Doctor Who fan, but I almost DON’T want that cookie jar, because I just know I’ll be terribly disappointed when I inevitably find out that it’s not bigger on the inside.

  3. “lesbian yellow-sour-fruit” confused the shit out of me. I was like, what is this delicious sounding author I am unaware of but clearly already have so much in common with!???

  4. TARDIS cookie jar. Win. Bonus points if Amy Pond comes with it.

    What can I say, I’m a sucker for a hot Scottish redhead with access to space/time travel

    • I’m reading it right now. It’s pretty damn good. I have a feeling all us funny, savvy ladies on here will find something in it to identify with. It’s one of those “nodding along constantly, agreeing with everything” reads.

  5. Oh my god, gifts for my friend/ hopeless straight crush who LOVES tv, especially Community and HIMYM. I will buy her all of these things. I will probably be under a restraining order soon.

  6. I would like to live my life after Ron Swanson’s personal statement – “I’m a simple lesbian. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.” Is that so much to ask?

    • I just tried to buy it for my roommate, and it’s sold out on Amazon. The ladies of Autostraddle must have caused a run on Troy and Abed mugs.

  7. I’m torn right now on whether I should get my brother the Troy and Abed mug or some Greendale Community Sweatpants.

    I really want the Dealbreaker by Lesbian Yellow-Sour-Fruit book for myself.

Comments are closed.