feature image via shutterstock
Turn your phone off for at least ten minutes today, like just completely powered off.
Every time you see a headline that makes you want to scream get up and pour yourself a glass of water. Drink the whole thing and see if you still want to click on that link.
Mute or unfollow that person that you follow on Twitter even though you hate them.
Buy some candy and hide it somewhere that you feel confident you’ll forget about so that you come across it in a few weeks and it’s a total surprise.
Pick up some paper towels on your way home, you’ll probably be glad you have them.
Look at all these puli dogs!
Have you cleaned your coffee maker recently? Do you know how to clean your coffee machine? Learn!
Find an old email, text or message where someone you respect said something nice to you and read it again. Optionally, draw a tiny doodle of their face and then a speech bubble where you write out the words they said. Stick this where you will see it but other people mostly won’t.
Don’t read the comments, especially not on Youtube.
Do that one thing you’ve been putting off doing. You know the one. It won’t be as bad as you think.
This is how you say Quvenzhané Wallis’ name.
Go through your wallet and take out the cards you don’t use anymore, the empty transit cards, all the unnecessary receipts and weird ephemera. Let’s be honest, you probably aren’t actually going to remember to claim that $3 coffee you had while ‘networking’ as an expense on your taxes.
Imagine that the person who makes you feel shitty about yourself is very tiny, like a Borrower, and is trapped inside a Mason jar. They’re perfectly safe there and they can breathe just fine, but you can’t hear their voice through the glass and in fact you can barely even make out their face because they’re so small and now you’re putting the entire jar into a filing cabinet drawer out of sight and you never have to think about them again. .
Hey, here’s how to give yourself a scalp massage.
Put some lotion on. Your elbows too.