Haviland & Riese Advice Vlog #36: Yup. We Got a New One.

It’s been one of those weeks! You make some plans, you write some stuff, you think you’ve got it pretty much under control and then — out of nowhere — it’s Friday and your biggest homegrown feature story was a top ten list of people only assholes could hate (jk it was the Feminism Roundtable Pt. 2). I mean, it happens. The best laid plans of mice and men or whatever. But you’re cool, right? We put up some pretty solid Daily Fixes, I thought.

So we were sitting on our sofas, drinking sub-par whiskey, counting our nickels and updating our tumblrs (ahem), when we realized, if we were going to end this week with a bang, we’d need a hot lesbian with shiny hair and a complete lunatic with a failed alternative lifestyle haircut. Haviland Stillwell and Riese Danger Bernardo, obvs!

Have you ever experienced the splendor and shenanigans of a Haviland & Riese Vlog? Oh, they’re really something special. See, once upon a time, Haviland & Riese made a video for their friend Lozo who was sick, and it was basically about nothing. But people kept liking the videos, so Riese had to keep drinking in order to handle being on camera so often, and before long, people just like you and me would send very important questions to [email protected], and then Riese and Hav would put on their best spaghetti-strap tanks and v-neck tees and impart some seriously helpful advice in their H&R Advice Vlogs. Sometimes they did L Word reenactments with Carlytron! Sometimes they did other stuff. Also Tinkerbell was there!

Here are a couple of our favorite Hav/Riese vloggetries to get you started, or take you down memory lane, depending on how much free time you had between 2007-2009. Also, no one’s going to see SATC 2 tonight, so this is pretty much what’s up.

Haviland, Riese and Carly Holiday Vlog #11
This one is about the holidays and wine, which I think is appropriate, given my affinity for wine.


Riese & Haviland Advice Vlog #27: The Advice Column, Live

Riese & Haviland (and Alexi!) Vlog #33: Super Duper Model
This one also features Alexi Melvin of AfterEllen fame. Remember AfterEllen?


Want more? Want something new?! Look no further!! Here’s a shiny new Haviland & Riese Advice Vlog just for your smiling face! What a way to kick-off Memorial Day weekend! America! Riese never wanted you to see this one because she doesn’t like it. But desperate weeks call for desperate measures, and apparently Sex and the City 2 made $3 million dollars last night, just ’cause everyone wanted to see the girls again, even if it is the worst movie ever made. Right??!

Here you go!

Haviland & Riese Vlog #36: We Want Your Drama

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lnj has written 310 articles for us.


  1. “This is what happens when your parents raise you gender neutral” :D!

    Make more videos please, thanks!

  2. Thanks for the vids! Hilarious as usual.

    Btw, I saw SatC 2. It wasn’t too bad. But I think I’m not too bothered by the excess bc it’s always been a fantasy show to me. They have never been real except for the topics they talked about. In SatC 2 the superficial aspects were ridiculously extravagent; however, the content of their dialogue was appropriate for their stage of life. That review you linked to was just written by a hater and sounds like someone who was never a fan. Besides, SatC 2 had me until the dumb sequence near the end. The ending was nice though. So I wouldn’t say it was the worst movie ever. There are plenty of films more offensive and unfunny.

  3. Since I haven’t done any theatre work in years, I no longer have a lot of friends that randomly break out in song. Haviland, you have to be my video replacement for those people. People would have a lot more fun in life if they sang everything like a musical.

    • That is so sad that no one breaks out into song — what kind of people are you inviting in your life??? sounds like a nightmare. ;-)
      sing on, baby bird, sing ON!

    • I used to break out into song all the time. Then, I had kids and who break into song all the time and they do it in public and they’re loud and now I don’t want to do it anymore because I just want QUIET. Is that too much to ask?! Is it?!

  4. Whenever I see Haviland, I always find myself very impressed with her very pretty eyebrows. Once I stop being distracted by her very pretty face and very pretty hair.

  5. OMG, why have I not seen these sooner? Now my whole weekend shall be spent watching these on youtube. Y’all are hilarious and the randomness is awesome. Off to watch more.

  6. Autostraddle needs more Haviland. You should do a monthly advice column in writing or similar

  7. I appreciate Laneia’s diplomatic efforts in bringing to light this week not only the LiveJournal Tumblr but also a “new” Vlog.

    And thanks for the shout-out, Riese – even as a sn. :)

  8. Woah. Just realized that I starting watching these in 2008 & following autostraddle… it’s 2010 now. Where has all the time gone?! o_O I totally miss these vlogs. (:

  9. Realization: Riese kinda looks like Lady Gaga.
    Realization: Riese IS Lady Gaga?
    Realization: If Riese is Lady Gaga, that means Lady Gaga really is Lady GayGay.

    • omg I agree, in the best way ever! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.

      Also, Riese & Haviland, you girls are hecka skinny. Are all East Coast girls so skinny? Yes, skinny girls are entirely fascinating to me.

  10. sexy brains ftw..but i watch these vlogs when i feel like snacking. i want an east coast body too!

  11. Remember? After Ellen? Mwaaahahaha j/k no hate I still keep up with the lovely crew at AE but no lie you ladies have stolen my heart. Props to Riese, your hilarious.

  12. These vlogs are awesome and I’m not just saying that because one of the problems in one of the above videos was mine.

    • You, too? Awesome! We need to start a club for those helped by Riese and Haviland! We can then divide into factions – those that followed the advice and it helped, those who did so and everything got worse (not likely!), and the losers who ignored the advice. We can have a secret handshake and everything!

  13. LMFAO!!! I thought I was the funniest person I’ve ever met…clearly I was wrong!!! YOU JUST MADE MY DAY!! LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! MORE PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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