Since we’re still haunted by a deadly virus, this Halloween will have to be a little different. We’re forgoing house parties and zombie bar crawls in favor of Zoom parties and socially-distant spell casting. Fortunately, COVID-safe celebrations are still costume-worthy occasions, and if you choose wisely, your costume can be a cause for (sexual) celebration all year round.
We need activities to keep us busy through the colder months. If you’re quarantined with a partner (or if you want to get creative with your FaceTime sex), role play can keep sex interesting when you’re feeling a little cooped up. Winter is coming, so we’re turning up the heat with Halloween costumes that can also serve your sexual fantasies. You’re welcome.
From Marya in Dracula’s Daughter (1936) to Miriam in The Hunger (1983) to Edward in Twilight (2008), the inherent sexuality of bloodsucking is undeniable. For this costume, you’ll need fangs ($10.99) and maybe a little fake blood ($8.99). The rest is up to you and your specific fantasy. Maybe you want to go classic with a cape ($15.99), or maybe you’re hungry for a masc vamp vibe and want to rock a leather jacket like Buffy’s Spike. No matter which undead look you choose, you’ll feel sexy on Halloween night, especially when you’re latched onto your partner’s mortal neck.
Alien costumes can range from cute to creepy. Draw inspiration from Ridley Scott’s Alien with this terrifying Xenomorph head ($59.99) or disguise your features in a green, skin-tight zentai suit ($34.99). You’ll be the most crowd-pleasing creature at your Halloween Zoom party, and your sweetie will be more than satisfied when the cameras are off. Alien abduction — complete with experimentation and even impregnation with alien eggs — is a common fantasy for folks who get revved up by a power dynamic. Incorporate sex toys into this experience with this finger extender by Wet For Her ($39.95) or (if you have the funds) an ovipositor ($90).
Anything involving drag (whatever “drag” means to you)
Historically, Halloween has been a time for us to safely play with gender. Maybe you want to dress as a character whose gender doesn’t match your own, or maybe you want to femme it up or masc it up a little more than you do in daily life. Wigs, makeup, binders ($35), breast forms, packers ($24) and fake facial hair can create a sizzling new dynamic in the bedroom, too, whether you’re the only one in drag or if you and a partner are bending gender together.
When the moon is full, queerwolves hunt for their prey. A furry wolf suit ($48.15) will keep you warm at an outdoor Halloween gathering, or you can stick with jeans, a ripped flannel shirt (if you’re reading Autostraddle, you probably already have one) and a werewolf makeup kit ($18.14). Werewolf lore is steeped in erotic hunger, so draw inspiration from Ginger Snaps and let your big bad wolf out to play. If you and your sweetie like rough sex with lots of scratching, werewolf role play might be the perfect way to kick your tussling up a notch.
If you didn’t get a chance to be popular in high school, Halloween is your chance to pick up the pom poms. You’ll need a uniform like this traditional attire ($19.99), this more explicitly sexual “Daddy” regalia ($24.95) or this baby pink “Daddy 69” number ($50). Don’t forget the pom poms ($9.99) and megaphone ($6.86). For a couples costume option, ask your sweetie to put on some shoulder pads as the captain of the football team or pay homage to a lesbian classic by dressing like Megan and Graham from But I’m A Cheerleader. When the socially-distant, outdoor party is over, sparks will fly when you whisper what you want to do under the bleachers.
Whether you’re a queen, a king or a non-binary ruler, you’ll probably look good in a crown ($7.95). Create your own title (“Queen of Queers,” perhaps?) or dress like a fictional nobleperson (watch The Favourite or The Crown for inspiration). After you rule the party with your scepter ($19.97), you can demand that your partner serve you as your royal subject in whatever ways you see fit.
Whether they’re stealing your voice like Ursula or stalking the streets like the Sanderson sisters, witches are spooky and indisputably sultry. For a traditional witch vibe, go for the pointy hat ($17.95) and broom ($11.99) sitch, or dress as one of your favorite witches of popular culture, like queer witch Willow of Buffy fame or the powerful Queenie from American Horror Story: Coven, or consider crafting a “fuck you” to J.K. Rowling by dressing as a proudly trans version of any Harry Potter witch or wizard. When you bring your witchy persona into the bedroom, you can cast a love spell on your partner or threaten to steal their soul. Either way, you’ll make magic between the sheets.
The “pizza delivery boy” porn trope might seem silly, but for many of us, the idea of a sexy stranger showing up at our door for a surprise “good time” is a deep-rooted sexual fantasy. For this Halloween costume, you don’t have to stick with pizza delivery — honor the postal service with a USPS uniform ($21.99) , butch it up in an all-khaki ensemble as a UPS worker or dress like Shane’s flower delivery babe on The L Word. When the Halloween festivities are over, step outside, ring your partner’s doorbell and prepare to deliver orgasms.
If you like being bossed around or if you’ve been waiting for an excuse to dip into animal role play, a puppy costume will bring out your wild side. Go traditional with puppy ears and a tail ($6.99), or (if you have the cash), try a leather or neoprene puppy hood ($149.95) for a more explicitly kinky look. Kick it up a notch by asking your partner to dress like Cruella DeVille ($44.09). If you’re lucky, your sweetie will train you later. “Sit.” “Stay.” “Good girl.”
If the trauma of living through a pandemic has sucked the sexy out of doctor/ patient role play for you, I get it, but for those of us who still enjoy performing exams and being examined, a lab coat ($13.99) and stethoscope ($8.33) might make the perfect costume. You can even get specfic and dress like your favorite Grey’s Anatomy professional (paging Dr. Torres…). For some after hours fun, consider outfitting your bedroom with some exam table paper ($34) and pick up nitrile gloves ($21.99) and a speculum ($18.95) for a pelvic exam.