Grease Bats: Three Concise Witty Sentences 

Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

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I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Co-Author and artist of A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! Studios! If I'm not working I'm socializing. If I'm not out with friends I'm drawing. If I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably depressed. Support me using Patreon.

Archie has written 117 articles for us.


  1. Although I’m a dog person I’m gonna watch the Cats movie and I’m not gonna be sober for it


    Ok I’m putting this here front and center so no one can ignore because I must share the trauma that has been with me for THIRTY YEARS

    This was inflicted on me at SEAWORLD in OHIO of all the many circles of hell and I mean who put SEAWORLD in OHIO and then thought “perfect, now all we need is a fucked up version of CATS ON WATER SKIS to make this satanic ritual complete as we sacrifice childhood to dark and thirsty gods”

  3. As someone who’s on Lex I feel this soo much. But, I also have hope that so far it maybe the best dating made.

    • If I feel up to dating again next spring, I’m gonna want an update from you to see if you still think it’s the one

    • Does that app work on laptops too? I don’t have a smartphone. Also anyone in England feel free to say hi!

    • I just read the backstory on Lex, and it’s inspired by the old personals from On Our Backs magazine! Awwwwwww now I’m trying to remember if any of my old issues survived my last four moves

    • I really hope you’re talking about an app and not @lex. Is that going to be yet another dating app I‘m going to be peer pressured into joining?

          • No peer pressure, but I can put in a good word for Lex (the app, though the commenter seems like a very nice person too). I do not like most dating apps and dating culture at all, and I found this one a very refreshing change. Some people have apparently experienced glitches, but overall I think the designers have done a really good job of making it a friendly, fun and safe space that is FREE OF CIS MEN hallelujah

          • I have a philosophy about how splitting pizza is a good way to guess at your compatibility with someone to an extent. You either like the same toppings or can be respectful and considerate enough to come to a compromise without rancor.

            If there’s no sparks on the date at least you’ve got a person you can split a pizza or share a meal with.
            That’s as close to having a date “set up” I really have.

        • For my city that would a breeze tho because my locale has many great places to eat from light lunch, hearty casual food, boozey brunch, and to white table Michelin starred restaurants and festivals plural on every month in the calendar some of which are open festivals with no entry tickets and live music.

          Example: a local opera company does a free concert of selected works in NOMA’s sculpture garden in October you could take a street car there for the novelty and it’s quick walk to Cafe Du Monde in City Park, a bit more of walk ya got Ralph’s and even further you have the Vietnamese fusion restaurant I don’t care for but if you like soup with a dark more European style broth it’s ok I guess.

          A real challenge would be recommending a recipe I think a novice could follow and making a playlist because music I like and think go best with a meal other people find tedious or annoying.
          Puccini during dessert is bit much for some people and Arvo Part “slow and mournful”
          @amidola @snaelle

          • See, @gunna-see-the-light, I knew you would have THOUGHTS about food and music!

            Lol now I’m thinking your theory about pizza could extend to playlists though…a great way to see if you share musical emotions or at least how they react to your own!

          • That pizza idea is BRILLIANT!
            If I ever go on a date again, I shall make use of that tactic. Maybe pizza second date and the food/music pairing thirdish.

  4. Oh look it’s a comic with the halves of me managing to Do A Thing rather than collapsing like a wet cardboard of too INTP to function.
    I love it when the Andy side is louder than the Taylor side it’s why I can both cook and bake stuff which is super handy these days.

  5. The app sounds promising but I checked and there’s only 3 ads in my area. Think I might be better off forgetting about it for a couple of months and getting into it once it’s more widespread

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