Grease Bats: Three Concise Witty Sentences 

Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

Guess what! Archie’s five-year collection of Grease Bats is now a book you can hold IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, with your HANDS, that you can read OFFLINE, that you can TUCK UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT!  Snag a copy for you + a pal!

Before you go! Did you like what you just read? We keep Autostraddle majority free-to-read, but it isn't free to create! And yet most readers don't support this indie queer site. Will you be one of the people who do? A+ membership starts at just $4/month or $30/year and they literally keep us from closing. Will you join? Cancel anytime.

Join A+


I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Co-Author and artist of A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! Studios! If I'm not working I'm socializing. If I'm not out with friends I'm drawing. If I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably depressed. Support me using Patreon.

Archie has written 117 articles for us.


  1. Ok I’m putting this here front and center so no one can ignore because I must share the trauma that has been with me for THIRTY YEARS

    This was inflicted on me at SEAWORLD in OHIO of all the many circles of hell and I mean who put SEAWORLD in OHIO and then thought “perfect, now all we need is a fucked up version of CATS ON WATER SKIS to make this satanic ritual complete as we sacrifice childhood to dark and thirsty gods”

          • No peer pressure, but I can put in a good word for Lex (the app, though the commenter seems like a very nice person too). I do not like most dating apps and dating culture at all, and I found this one a very refreshing change. Some people have apparently experienced glitches, but overall I think the designers have done a really good job of making it a friendly, fun and safe space that is FREE OF CIS MEN hallelujah

          • I have a philosophy about how splitting pizza is a good way to guess at your compatibility with someone to an extent. You either like the same toppings or can be respectful and considerate enough to come to a compromise without rancor.

            If there’s no sparks on the date at least you’ve got a person you can split a pizza or share a meal with.
            That’s as close to having a date “set up” I really have.

        • For my city that would a breeze tho because my locale has many great places to eat from light lunch, hearty casual food, boozey brunch, and to white table Michelin starred restaurants and festivals plural on every month in the calendar some of which are open festivals with no entry tickets and live music.

          Example: a local opera company does a free concert of selected works in NOMA’s sculpture garden in October you could take a street car there for the novelty and it’s quick walk to Cafe Du Monde in City Park, a bit more of walk ya got Ralph’s and even further you have the Vietnamese fusion restaurant I don’t care for but if you like soup with a dark more European style broth it’s ok I guess.

          A real challenge would be recommending a recipe I think a novice could follow and making a playlist because music I like and think go best with a meal other people find tedious or annoying.
          Puccini during dessert is bit much for some people and Arvo Part “slow and mournful”
          @amidola @snaelle

  2. Oh look it’s a comic with the halves of me managing to Do A Thing rather than collapsing like a wet cardboard of too INTP to function.
    I love it when the Andy side is louder than the Taylor side it’s why I can both cook and bake stuff which is super handy these days.

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!