Blessed be the fruit, a holy day is upon us! Finally, after what seems like years of gay anticipation, Ocean’s 8 has crashed onto U.S. shores. I guess, technically, that means it’s only a holy day in the United States, but for those of you who have to wait a few more days, weeks, or months (sorry Japan!), allow me to offer up this bit of condolence: at least you’re not in the United States! Please help us!
Perhaps it’s felt like years and not months of anticipation because of the marketing for Ocean’s 8, which has felt borderline threatening. Based on the quantity and composition of the Ocean’s 8 billboards on every corner in L.A., it’s as if this movie is signaling the End Times and these eight women are the horsemen. Even we’ve (read: me and Kayla) gotten in on the fury, writing about this movie a full six months before its release date based on a single trailer and some production photos.
We’ve been passive recipients, so imagine what it’s been like for the film’s cast. Nonstop promotion for a cherished franchise and film on which the future of women-centered media sort of hinges for half a year cannot be easy on one’s soul. Not to mention the kind of promotion. I saw an Ocean’s 8 Instagram ad where the stars had to pretend to text each other about the movie’s release date and had their likenesses juxtaposed with text bubbles filled with emojis and internet lingo. How gauche! Cate Blanchett next to cry-laugh emojis? Calling Rihanna “Ri”? Right in front of my salad? In the immortal words of Valerie Cherish, I don’t wanna see that!
Surely neither did Cate Blanchett. Or Sarah Paulson. It’s why regarding their unhinged interview promoting Ocean’s 8 on the Today Show I’m saying: good for y’all!
It’s six minutes of what Carly Usdin, Autostraddle alum and esteemed writer/director, called “gay chaos,” and folks, I’ve gotta agree. It’s a frantic, frantic take on the early morning press junket interview, and I salut not just them, but the chyron writer for “A Quarter of ‘Eight,’” something l’m still thinking about two days later.
Nothing I describe about the video above will compare to it unfolding in front of your eyes and ears, so like Sarah Paulson at one point in the interview, I’m encouraging you into action by gently caressing your butt forward. Sit back, do the opposite of relax, and enjoy.