FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Your “Orange Is the New Black” Season 3 Feelings Go Here!

Whoa, hey! Get a load of this: Orange Is the New Black is back, y’all! Netflix dropped the third season several hours early, and I could. not. be. more. excited! How excited? Oh, I don’t know. A little bit like this:


And a little bit like that:


And a whole bunch of this right here:


I won’t start watching until Saturday, when my buddies Tammy and Valerie come over to marathon the shit out of it with Stacy and I, while we drink some of Ali‘s Litchfield-themed cocktails! Hopefully, I’ll finish before the weekend is up so that I can get back onto the internet because my job requires me to live on the internet, but I can’t get on the internet if I haven’t seen all the episodes or it will be the Great Vee Debacle of 2014 all over again!

The things I’m most excited about this season are: 1) More Sophia. I’m still not over how underused she was last season. 2) The Piper/Alex/Ruby Rose love triangle. So toxic, so damn sexy. 3) Suzanne’s foray into erotic fan fiction. 4) Taystee and Poussey’s super bestfriendship.  And 5) Black Cindy everything.


We don’t have any hard and fast rules about spoilers in the comments, so let’s just adopt Brittani‘s suggestions from last season’s FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: “I don’t really know what to say about spoilers other than don’t be an asshole but if you’re hanging around on this thread, you gotta know something is bound to pop up. We won’t be deleting stuff all willy nilly so enter at your own risk and seriously, don’t be mean.”


+ Who are you watching with? And when? And how much?

+ What are you most excited about?

+ Alex and Piper vs. Ruby Rose and Piper vs. Red and the Magic Chicken. Discuss!

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.

2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.

3. Go forth and jam.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1718 articles for us.


  1. Damn, I am SO wishing I could be watching right now! (Insert rehashed whine/piss/moan about being 3000 miles from home for a month, etc.) Can’t wait to get home and go on a binge-watch!

  2. I just finished re-watching season 2 last night. I still can’t believe how awesome kate mulgrew is, as captain janeway and Red. Danielle Brooks is my favorite actress on the show (Tastee) but Suzanne is my favorite character (Uzo Aduba, who is also an amazing actress).

    I loved Jezebel’s post: ‘Rolling Stone celebrates diverse OITNB cast with cover of two bra-less white ladies.’ Still can’t stand Piper (“Ally McBeal goes to prison”), though nothing against Taylor Schilling.

    Looking forward to it; yes more Sophia! I want her to win an Emmy this year. <3

    • That Jezebel post was so real though. I’m glad somebody put words to why that Rolling Stone was bothering me so much.

  3. So I’ll be watching with two straight friends tomorrow evening *insert uncertain face here* I watched with one of them last year and it was fine. I beat Poussey to the scissoring line and my friend was impressed.

  4. But seriously, Maria hit me right in my one feeling at the end of the first episode. Men ruin everything.

  5. I am embarrassed to admit I’ve never watched OITNB. (I don’t really watch much TV in general). BUT – I’ve read Piper’s memoir and also Cleary’s (aka Alex’s) memoir and would highly recommend them both. I actually liked Cleary’s memoir more, and I could kind of sympathize her as a sort of underdog.


    Last year I binged season two with my ex, now I get to binge it half on my own and half with my best friend. Oh how time flies…

  7. -doesn’t read any of the comments out of spoilerphobia-
    I AM SO EXCITED!!! I will probably take a while to complete the season, though. I am still rewatching the past seasons, and I don’t want to rush through em all either. Which means I should probably decrease my time on AS significantly until I’m done. I look forward to screaming with all of you once I’m back. Until then, happy watching! (and crying!)

  8. I scrolled straight to the end of these comments because I don’t want any spoilers, but I just want to say that the timing is right because I just recommitted to watching OITNB last week. I had watched the first episode several months ago, loved it, and then got sidetracked and didn’t watch the rest. Last week I randomly decided to finally watch the second episode and then ended up marathoning it all weekend and now I’m well into season 2. So it’s funny and awesome that they just dropped Season 3 today! Now I have so much OITNB to watch :D

  9. Given that I am not watching it until tomorrow (Friday) night when a couple of friends are coming over, I got ridiculously excited when I saw it had been released. It exists! It’s out there in the world!

    Since I plan to buy some drinks and maybe also food in the morning: any recommendations on what to eat or drink while watching?


    why doesn’t bennett just quit his job and get a different job and then they can be together when she gets out? like they could move i doubt anybody would chase them down to throw him in jail

    • wait this is true like if he cares so damn much about this baby why doesn’t he get a job that might allow him to care for it better or something??

    • Because then Bennett wouldn’t have all the power in their relationship.

      Kidding! (Except not really.)

      No probably it’s so he can see her everyday. If he quit he could only visit, but that might not even be possible for them.

      But also it’s probably a little bit that first thing.

    • yeah! that whole story line is very entertaining but a little . . . yeah the logistics bother me. why can’t he get another job and just like, get aleida’s husband to get the baby but he can take care of it or something and wait for daya to get out.

  11. Kvetching annoys but here i go because Pensatucky’s hair looks like it belongs to a fussy starbucks-drinking urbanite, it is so incongruous with her life (and her skin tone).

    • I’m really curious about this theory but she doesn’t look like the fussy sbux urbanites I know, can you show me with pics what you mean?

      • Yup, I don’t get that comment either. I don’t think her hair looks especially slick nor urban. There are lots of women from her character’s background with hair like that. And, having watched the first two episodes of Season Three, I was glad to see them make her more ornery, sociopathic and, yes, racist in this season… something which totally jumped the shark in season two.

      • it was just in the first episode or so (Mandy Moore hair situation, as described and screencapped in the AS recap of S3E1); the rest of the season her hair seemed more in character.

  12. i’ll be watching the season next weekend if my partner still comes over. i think our fighting with each other can take a break for a weekend so we can come together for a joyous binge watching weekend.

  13. I am so excited to watch the new season; but, right now I am in the middle of watching Sense8 after I read on autostraddle there is a lesbian couple, which one of them happens to be a trans woman(played by a trans woman). Eeep it’s a very good show. Plus, I work Friday and Saturday, so I will more than likely be watching it on Sunday. I will be watching it alone in my room in full surround sound with some greens, and some tea.

    Piper is a bit of a boring and self-absorbed so I am indifferent to her(though Taylor Shilling on the other hand *swoon*). Alex is a big time drug dealer so lets not forget that, but I am a less of fan of her than I am of Piper. I can’t speak for Ruby’s character there. As for Piper v. Red. Red of course, cause she is tough as nails when she needs to be, and lets not forget she has the chicken.

    How is everyone’s week going? My week has been rough. So, the houseless person who I mentioned before, came and again stole from my store again. This time with two customers by the entrance of the store shopping. It was a quick grab and run, not worth chasing. The next morning I was standing alone in my store and he ran by me giving me a quick hard slap in the face. I’ve found out that before I was working there, my father called the cops on him after people in the building caught him and he did a 6 month stint in jail. When he came out he stole from another store in the building & threw it at my father as a revenge. He also apparently was hit by a car after stealing only to get up and run away bloody. I am really feeling helpless here because I am not sure what to do anymore. Sure, it’s items that are cheap, but it’s the principle of the matter & the person slapped me in the face and going to jail apparently didn’t solve anything. Sorry for long story, but I just a frustrated.

    On a positive note I went hiking Sunday and this was my view.

    And this was at the end of one of the trials I took at a residential district.

    Thank you for reading and viewing. And lets all enjoy some new OITNB episodes!

    • Wooooooooooow that is fucked UP. I don’t know if there’s anything that would stop me from beating the shit outta that guy, and that’s only because shooting him would require more skill or gun licenses than the none I currently have. Seriously, I would feel so confused and hurt, but most of all helpless and unsafe. Can you call for some free legal advice on your rights to physically defend yourself? In terms of coping, talking is the best possible thing.

      I was actually thinking about you today. I’ve been collecting photos from around my city to share with you, since you share yours with us. :)

      I’m also excited that there are open trans* characters and actors (!) showing up. I mean, I identify as cisgendered lesbian, my pronouns are she and her. But I have that confusing need to look masculine while my mannerisms are ultra feminine. I have experienced some intense gender dysphoria. However, I do not feel like my body misrepresents me. My femininity undermines my feminism, and it pisses me off. I’m attracted to women because of something distinctly…. womanly? Something about the human experience of always being less-than, but pulling ahead, seems to be what I need to connect with people, which is pretty telling. Anyway, all that to say, I find trans* people to be sexy in the same way I find lesbians/bi women sexy, so whenever I see more representation I’m pretty freakin’ happy!

      • I am in the state of California where the law says something to the effect if your purse is being robbed you can’t defend yourself and if a criminal slips and falls on your property you can be sued. I thought these were jokes the morning show folks on the radio made until I googled it up. It’s what stopping me from going Fallon Fox on him, lol.

        Also, from all have been reading trans with * is wrong as with the * is suppose to include drag as part of the trans umbrella, which it really isn’t.

      • Also, I just noticed the last sentence is a bit transphobic as trans men and woman are the same as cis men and woman. Also, if you have dysphoria and identify as genderqueer that does fall under the trans umbrella, thought you don’t have to identify as trans if you don’t want, you could identify as non-binary, both, or just simply genderqueer. I personally identify as genderqueer/nb trans woman.

        • You know, my take is that the experience people have makes them, just as much as their person. And the experience of self realization is why I find lesbians/bi women 100% hotter than straight women, who I honestly can’t be bothered with. The different experience of self realization around owning one’s transness is also really attractive to me. It’s about strength of character, the pursuit of truth, and honestly just good grooming lol So what I’m saying is, I identify as cisgendered lesbian and I’m also attracted to non-homosexual people under some circumstances. It doesn’t mean they’d be attracted to me. I’m just happy to see more options of people I find attractive on TV. Not unlike all the people dying over Ruby Rose.

          I know what I’ve described about myself falls under genderqueer. I feel like I don’t deserve to use that phrase because I don’t fit into what other people in the trans/genderqueer community would attribute to it, and I don’t want to diminish anyone else’s experience by using a label that they don’t find fitting for me. Conversely, not owning my gender identity very strongly. Hence, being really attracted to it when I see it in others.

          Lastly, trans* is used to be inclusive of whomever wishes to include themselves. :)

          • That maybe so, but trans with * is still not taken too fondly with many in the trans community as it’s a way of trying to include drag folks, who are not trans. I don’t have the specific tumblr link to it, but I am sure if you do a google search you may find why trans* is not preferred.

        • I realize I could’ve answered this simply by saying…. Attraction to men is confusing for me. Although I’m generally only attracted to lesbians/bi women, there have been instances where I have been attracted to others, and they have been genderqueer men and FTM humans.

      • “I find trans* people to be sexy in the same way I find lesbians/bi women sexy, so whenever I see more representation I’m pretty freakin’ happy!”

        You understand, right, that trans people aren’t necessarily a separate category from “lesbians/bi women,” right? There are plenty of “lesbians/bi women” who also happen to be trans women.

        • If you’re a lesbian/bi, I will be attracted to you more than I would be attracted to, say, a straight person. The only qualifications for being a lesbian or bi woman, are to be a woman. I’m not excluding trans women in that statement.

          Additionally, although I identify as a lesbian, not pansexual, I’m also attracted to trans* people, for reasons explained above in my response to Al. It’s that simple. The only men I’ve been attracted to are genderqueer, or FTM, as it turns out. I still identify as a lesbian. Their identity doesn’t impact mine. And I’m happy to drool over them on TV.

    • This is actually hollow/flat on the other side, and somebody with a sense of humour and good positioning gave them a kiss!

  14. All I have to say is I just finished the fourth episode and Boo’s storyline hit me right in my feels. I was crying on my friend’s couch and she was crying for other reasons (the glut of storylines about mothers was, I think, really getting to her), and we were like, “This is only the fourth episode. We are *fucked.*”

    Plus it’s always super rad to see a fat, masculine-of-center lesbian having sex and being desirable on TV. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.

    • This makes me regret my decision to try and get some sleep so I’m not a useless piece of shit tomorrow at work!

      • I go into work at 8 a.m. and it’s currently 3 a.m. so right now I’m thinking you made the right decision.

        • Maybe I don’t regret my decision cause that would have been me except I get up at 530 for work. Here’s to hoping that you have a non stop supply of caffeine to get you through your day. :)

    • Ended up watching 4 episodes last night and of course, I will give no spoilers, but thus far the flashbacks are ON POINT and my basement got flooded during one sexy scene. LOL

      So this week has been pretty eventful. I went to the big Girls in Wonderland party on Saturday and took a girl that I just met to it as my plus one and she had a blast. Last time she was at anything queer related was in college and that was almost 10 years ago. It was a wild time.

      With work, I’m at a weird place. I’ve been unhappy with my business partners for awhile, I’m not liking what I’m seeing and their professionalism seems to be thrown out the door. I also caught one biz partner in several lies. A production client of ours is allegedly in rehab; I say allegedly because said biz partner has not told me the name of the facility or an address so I can contact him. This guy is not only a business connection, but we’re also very tight bros. My biz partner has this weird possessive obsession with him and is in denial about it.

      So, when I get frustrated, I apply to other jobs. Just so happens I did a phone interview, a prompt and went in for a face-to-face interview for a creative/branding position at a tech company that is on the rise. Fingers crossed Straddlers, because this might be the gear shift I need!

      I also laid the foundation for an LGBTQ YouTube project that I’ll be developing and could use you guys’ help down the line!

      She doesn’t read Autostraddle, but today is my mom’s birthday and I really couldn’t ask for a better human to be my mother. Although she won’t see this, she’s a huge ally and supporter of the LGBTQ and is pretty much awesome as all hell.

      • Well, this is a post that ended up in the wrong place if I ever saw one ;D I hate it when that happens. But, know that you are heard, and your plans sound like they will bear delicious, queer fruit. :)

    • This comment thread made me lol. The oversleeping had to worth it, though, right? Right??

  15. I promise I will not say any spoilers, but I have feelings (I will not name any names or plot points or any specifics). I just finished episode three and I’m not really enjoying it D: I’m honestly shocked because I just rewatched season 2 and was reminded of exactly how brilliant this show is, and how much I love it, but episodes 1-3 in season 3… Im not happy. I’m hoping with 11 more episodes to go, things will improve.

    Anyway! I’m watching by myself because I’m really far from home and don’t have anyone to watch with here, but that’s okay, I’ll watch it all again with my mom when I go home and we will analyze. I’m SO excited for Ruby Rose. I want to see more Sofia always.

    • But, you’re not watching it alone! You’re watching it with everyone here. Well, except me, because I don’t watch it at all, which is the reason I have time to reply to comments, as everyone else is otherwise occupied :D

  16. Oh wow, FOT is early and I am not ready!
    Going to the official German netflix watchalong in Berlin with a couple of friends tonight!
    Very excited!

    • Wait, where in Berlin is this official watchalong? Are Netflix events a real thing here?

      • The netflix thing in Germany is trying to become a netflix thing I bellieve.
        They put us up in an old factory building, gave us inmate wear and had a screening in an effing Litchfield Lunchhall after feeding us!
        Utter win!
        But you know what was unexpectedly embarassing?
        Watching the second episode, the end thereof in a room with dozens of strangers on a big ass screen.

          • Yes! Stew and beans. All of it orange and black.(Like mashed sweet potatoes and beluga lentils, dark beef stew, white beans in tomato sauce).
            No tampons.

    • This harkens back to a time for me when the local gay club would have the L Word watchalongs. Nothing like lesbian erotica in a group of queers. :D

      • Nothing like Lesbian erotica with a bunch of straight people going “This is not how..” while you’re coughing and going, “No, this is actually exactly how, you know, sometimes.”

  17. I was at work all day today (it’s 530pm in Australia). Hoping on a plane early tomorrow morning so still have a bunch of stuff to sort out for that. Hoping to start watching in about 4-5 hours. Eeeeeee I can’t wait.

  18. Shit man, it’s a lil over 1am and I’m a little drunk and on episode 5. So glad I’m working from home Friday.

  19. It’s 9am here, and I have a whole day working from home, where I could put on Netflix “in the background.” However, my ladywifeperson is stuck at work until the evening.

    I am living a real-life Laura vs Luna scenario. WHICH WILL WIN?!

  20. My gf and I sat down to watch it and got 20min in before realising the first ep wasn’t super flash blacky, we were just rewatching the pilot episode.

  21. What’s the deal, Heather? Friday morning and still no Fosters recap? Your Monday Boob Tube post told us to expect no less than three recaps (Fosters and Orphan Black x 2) by Wednesday afternoon, so what happened??

  22. VERY EXCITED. My girl and I just bought a house together (eek!) and OITNB has dropped! Waiting for her to get home from work so we can DO THIS!!

    • OMG buying a house is harder to do together than having children. This is amazing. Congratulations!

  23. Got the Netflix email that OITNB was available on my way to help some people out building and cleaning some stuff. Luckily we got done in half a day, and on my way home I guess I looked so excited that I got stuck ten minutes talking to someone who wanted me to model and be in an article for some sort of magazine. But finally I’m ready, I’ll be back after about 13 hours!

    • Wow!! And after half a day of cleaning at that! That is a level of excitement reserved for red Smarties and NHL Playoffs :D

  24. No Spoilers:

    Episode 6, Morello has just mentioned Chandler, Arizona.

    I live in Chandler, Arizona.

    This is an auspicious sign.

  25. [avoiding spoilers but allusions to episode 1 exist below]

    UGH I casually decided to watch the first ep before I went to bed last night, and naturally was destroyed by Poussey’s backstory. I hope we get more of that specific piece of her story this season.

  26. I love when I forget how gay I am and then reminded when Ruby Rose appears on my screen.

  27. hello all my original recipe chicken wings!

    (I don’t really like spicy)

    It is Friday! In a funny turn of events, my mom is taking me to see Tim Minchin tonight bc she got free tickets and it’s my bday on Monday, and I feel neutral-to-positive about him. Otherwise, I have boring wedding stuff to do (meeting with the jeweler! sending out invites!) and also a weekend of a bunch of bdays including mine, and then to LA for a week. should be good!

    fwiw gf and I watched two episodes and then it was time to go to bed. I’m mostly enjoying this season, spoiler-wise I was instructed that it would be more of a fluffy bunny season- FINE WITH ME. LESS CHAOS AND MURDER.

    • Happy Birthday! I have positive feelings about Tim Minchin, and jealous feelings about your birthday event :P

  28. I’m so gonna be disowned, but i dont watch the show : x i dont really watch any shows, though, so it’s nothing personal. Watching things feels like a chore to me.

    This week has been Anxiety Week For No Reason, yaaaay. Having to take an Ativan for the first time in months is a thing. And ive still been feeling eh. I’m stressed over everything in general and that makes me feel ashamed. I’m buckets of fun. Such a delight. I so love having terrible thoughts and stressing over whether or not my therapist is a good fit our if it’s my problem.

    Tomorrow im going to DC’s Pride parade with my friend and her boyfriend. I’ve never been, so I dunno what to expect. Are we just to watch people walk by us? I’m used to having the hang out stuff right after. On Sunday im going to a woo-woo store with another friend. I’m going to stare at books.

    I’m excited that there’s a Baltimore meetup for our Pride in July~~ :) :) yay meeting people!

    • I also don’t watch. :/ I’m not opposed, it’s just that dramas stress me out, and I’d rather read :P

      • Yeah, that too. And I also agree on rather reading. Watching stuff just feels overrated to me, and it takes a lot for me to do it. :p

  29. Ruby Rose is definitely what I’m most excited about for this season. I’m about to go on a 2 month long road trip starting NEXT WEEKEND! I have so much to do! I hope I can fit OITNB in before I leave!!!!

    Happy watching y’all!

  30. A few people on Facebook have said they’re unimpressed with this season so far but I LOVE IT! I feel like there is a little bit of everything I like so much in every episode.

    • I agree, although I am only a couple episodes in I am loving it, and I am seeing ppl eith lukewarm feelings about it… I keep wondering if we are watching the same show, or if somethings the matter with me! I am still mostly annoyed by Piper though

    • to me it’s a little TOO little bit of everything. not actually in a bad way actually but it feels DIFFERENT than other seasons

  31. I am just going to say if you follow queer ladies on tumblr and you use tumblr frequently, please do not go on there if you haven’t watch it yet as I already saw some interesting gifs on there and kind of ruined it for me.

  32. I don’t watch OITNB. I KNOW!

    So guys, it was my first sober birthday in 7 years. That is what is in the news this week. I had a good day. I cried all day. It started at about 13:30, and went until about 00:30. Not that I didn’t stop to smile and laugh and sing and enjoy my time in the country shooting air rifles at targets, but my underlying emotion was morose. I actually broke out in a rash the week ahead of my birthday. I asked myself why I never cried on my birthday before, and then I realized that I have cried on my birthday nearly every year since I was 12. And the last 6 I stopped the crying with alcohol. So, I had a good day because I was able to feel, to be vulnerable, and be safe in the company of a very good friend. We had an incredible day. A good, sad day. There are many other days to be happy, now. So doing all my crying on one day is pretty great.

    I found out that my mom is not, after all, terminally ill. She made it up. But, she believes it. My father has known this. And helplessly has allowed us to believe in her imminent doom. Neither of them, by the way, called on my birthday. This underscores my belief, as a friend has suggested, that they are not solely mentally ill, but that they are, in fact, assholes.

    In less melancholy news, I finally got my bathing suit! I ordered in March 5th, and it arrived the last day of May, or somewhere thereabouts. :D

    Here I am looking fabulous in it!

    And here I am trying to eliminate my tummy and show off the tassles at once!

    And here is some fun bathroom art that I drew on my chalkboard door :D

    Aaaaaand take 2!

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about falling in love. I am slowly, so slowly, falling out of love with the idea of falling in love. It’s kind of a pendulum, because I’m such a romantic. Or, I have learned what it is to be romantic, and discovered that if it were a team sport, I would be the captain. And now, of course, I am cross country skiing, and nobody wants my tin hearts, or my origami/pasta roses with breakfast. It’s kind of something that is a hobby that I enjoyed, but was actually damaging. So I THOUGHT I was the captain of the team, but actually I was bungee jumping in fine technique. But it’s not recommended when you have weak ankles. So now I’m cross country skiing, and enjoying the scenery, drawing Rosie the Riveters in the snow, crying with friends at target practice, and feeling pretty fierce in my bikini.

    • That’s very positive to hear about your sobriety. You really make that outfit look good and I’m sure there will be a few women & queers water-side checking you out.

    • Dude, Happy Birthday!!!Sorry I missed the date, I’m horrible with dates(especially Birthdays)!! So please accept my apology.
      I wish you a pleasant journey of falling in Love with yourself!


      Belated birthday thoughts to yoooouuuuuuuuu☆ im glad you were able to feel without feeling overwhelmed and like you needed to change the feeling. I’m still not able to do that, myself.

  33. I told myself, “Dude, you have exams to study for. DO NOT WATCH IT!”
    …..I lasted an hour…

  34. Ok so I started watching last night with my brother because that’s what we do. Stayed up till like 4. Went to work an actual zombie. Came home, kept watching with brother but he decided to have a social life on OITNB release day (who DOES that?! Smh) and so now I’m still watching without him. I’m hungry. I should probably eat. But the Ruby Rose wink that was advertised everywhere is sooooo much better in context. I won’t spoil anything, but the characters feel….different? I haven’t decided if it’s good different or bad different yet. It’s so good tho. It’s also good to get more back stories. I’m diggin it.

  35. You guys,
    the weirdest thing happened to me today.
    So my friend won tickets to this OITNB watchalong thing that took place today in Berlin.
    Naturally, I figured that they’d stick us into a smallish room with a screen to marathon the effing entirety of the third season (Yes, please!), tonight, but no such thing!
    We arrived at the place, an old factory building, Berlin is full of those, but instead of a stuffy room, we were lead to this hall, were we were given prison clothes to change into.
    They had guards and pseudo celebrities in orange scrubs,a prison mess hall, served us food on plastic trays and drinks in plastic cups,there was a corner for mug shots, just the works, until we finally watched the first episode on a huge ass screen.
    After the first ep, they kind of had this little show, where they discussed it with some internet celebrities that hadn’t even been caught up on season two, and then went over to our table with a “You seem to be fans.”
    So there is this guy,dressed in a guard uniform, in the middle of the Litchfield dining hall, shoving a microphone into my face with the very words, “You guys were cheering when Alex Vause appeared on screen, why is that?”
    How do you even answer that?
    I mean…of all the things..I could have talked about the chicken, you know?
    But how do you sum up Alex Vause?
    Anyways, we went on to watch the second episode, which was very embarassing for a minute or two there, and someone very young at my table says,”That’s not how Lesbians have sex.” Well, they certainly are in every other fanfiction I’m stumbling across!
    It was an unexpectedly great evening, and just the right amount of surrealism with great friends that I needed.
    We only screened two eps, though, so I’m actually getting to watch all of them still.
    Without spoilage, I just love the daring this show (as does Orphan Black) has to sometimes just do something totally crazy and out there, and then pull it through, just like it’s totally matter of fact.
    I was bursting at the seams with glee for the entirety of the second ep.

    Also, I got the dreamiest picture of myself ever,out of this, so, OKCupid, here I come! (Sorry, L, for shattering the mystery, if this works!)

    Good night,everyone!

    • That is some next level shit right there! That kind of dedication to a TV show is making me ask myself why I stopped watching. Just, yeah.

      I am going to go home, watch Season 1, episode 5, and wait for some smokin’ not-selfies to be created for my non-existent OKCupid.

  36. Guys, I’m on holiday in Berlin and can’t decide between actually discovering the city + hanging out with my friends or binge watching. Monday seems so far far away. I guess I’ll be patient. Yes. No. Yes.

    What am I most excited about: P-o-u-s-s-e-y. Duh.

    In other news I finally decided to get a proper haircut. It feels good!

  37. Like always, the motherhood stories have me bawling. I wanted to give Poussey a big hug in the first episode (but when do I not want to hug Poussey?). Also, Boo and Marisol’s stories have really cut to my heart.I’m already finishing up episode 6, anyone else notice the music choice at the end? I grinned, kinda badass and gave context to a character I knew nothing about.

  38. Hey all! How is everyone? Are you all still up or no? Are we all still binge watching? WE did I say? I meant you guys! I was at work today and man am I ever glad it’s my day off tomorrow! I’m stuck between 3 really important things right now. 1. Watching OITNB-I’ve been mainly avoiding FB for spoilers 2. Game of Thrones books-I KNOW IM SO LATE TO THIS. I am almost done with the first book and man I am hooked!! 3-Jurassic world-I’ve been addicted to this franchise since I was a kid! DINOSAURS!!

    I saw San Andreas yesterday and guys IDK why I still live in CA and tell people to move here. But really though. I love LA. Come move out and we can go to camp every year without worrying about flying and stuff. I really miss camp you guys i’ve only told my wife that like a bazillion times since I got back down the mountain. Also I am never going to look at Uptown Funk, Wagon Wheel and Feelin’ Myself the same way again.

    I also really would like a Corona, I have been talking about a Corona for like 2 days now. It’s the best.

    This week my Transformers Metal Earth arrived and MAN I GOT ON THAT SHIT LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW. so far I’ve completed Optimus Prime.

    My favorite guy co worker got married last Sunday too hooray!! Everyone at work say’s we’re twins because of our love of bacon and because our persons have the same name.

    You guys I took this stuff from the photo booth

    My wife, Bubbles the monkey and Andy in the middle. Andy is not happy a picture had to interrupt milk time -.- Also my wife sent me the cutest vid of him meowing. His meow is so tiiiiiiiny.

  39. I just finished watching all of season 3. I started yesterday at 8:30pm PST and finished today at like 9:30pm PST… A little over a day… My new record time

    I’m so happy with this season. I have an exam tomorrow that I have not studied for AT ALL but I don’t even care. No spoilers but goddamn, this season made me completely flip old opinions about characters and form new ones for characters never previously explored in depth.

    Since I signed up for Netflix and still got a month left before I have to cancel my account, I’ll probably move onto Sense8 since I heard that is pretty good too.

  40. Ill just watch one episode because I work tomorrow.. *8 episodes later* well so much for sleep

  41. Crazy fucking season! Sigh. Now just gotta wait, what, a year for season 4? The downfall of binge watching.

    • Sadly that’s how this works. Unless they do network tv and do it half the season winter the other half spring.

  42. God damn that was good. The representation of real, human struggle in this show is just incredible. I think I need sleep before I can fully process my feelings. The mother-daughter stories hit hard.

  43. Spoiler-free observations:

    Stella forever and ever.

    Poussey forever and ever.

    Aw, Suzanne!

    … When did Pennsatucky start growing on me?

    I still really, really don’t like Big Boo. Sorry not sorry.

    They can’t make me like Caputo.

  44. Ooh ooh I something I want to share with someone but the only being IRL I’d share it with is in a place with no cellular reception.
    Here goes:
    I got the person who sexual assaulted me to apologize and this gif of gleeful Kitty Yzma is how I feel about that.

    Confronting people isn’t the sanest or healthiest thing to do, but fuck when they call your phone and half asleep you answer…shit happens. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    As for OITNB
    I couldn’t even finish watching the first episode of season 2 because I was the fed up with Piper.
    How I feel about Piper’s everything:

    Everyone in da Litch:

    So I could only read the recaps and watch a clip of the Rude One getting run over repeatedly. People abuse and manipulate the Suzannes of this world have a very special place in my wrath.
    Anybody watched enough of season 3 to tell me how Piper heavy things gunna get?
    Pretty please.

    • (*maybe spoilers sort of?*) In my opinion things stay a bit Piper-centric, but ultimately she justs gets easier to dislike. The stories of the other characters are pretty supreme tho. I just finished (4am) and the feelings. Oh the feelings.

      • Seasons 2 and 3 are definitely less Piper centric than season 1. Lex the 2nd episode of season 2 has 0 Piper in it! She’s more of comedic relief and face palmable moments vs. everyone else’s real shit. I mean even more than season 1.

  45. Just finished watching. I have seriously too many feelings. All I am able to say is.. HOLY NORMA.

    And Ruby Rose oh my goooooood. And that accent. It made me FEEL things.

  46. Season 3 and Piper finally kicks ass. If I was still in some sort of drama class I would deliver the episode 8 panty monologue

  47. The privatization of the prison is the best plot device! Boo and Norma’s stories were bomb dot com. The Dayanara baby saga finally got interesting.

  48. I loved this season, my favorite thing was the shank made out of jolly ranchers, and Chang’s badassness.

  49. Okay, I got finished with the third episode. Please tell me what I think happened didn’t just happen. I am so in the dark about casting so that wasn’t what I think it was, was it? Somebody talk me down off the ledge.

  50. Finished the season…It was a bit more chaste than I was expecting but overall it was fine.

  51. Spoiler Alert** TW

    I’m up to episode 7 and just read a thing on tumblr that made me anxious -I read that in the second to last episode there is a graphic assault scene. I want to know if it’s long and if it’s really bad – I’m triggered by rape scenes and want to spare myself any shock.

    • It’s not horribly long….about 30 seconds or so. But it is demeaning and a bit traumatic. The way they handle it was good though. It’s emotional, but how the character develops from the incident is interesting.

    • [spoiler alert??]

      i just finished episode 10 and there is a rape scene in that one (that’s not the second to last one though so i dk about that). you can kind of see it coming and it’s the last scene of the episode but yes, watch out for that episode. also the actual assault is the last scene but that whole story line with those two characters especially one earlier scene and the flashbacks could qualify as triggering re rape/assault.

    • Man, I REALLY wish my friend had warned me about episode ten. I sort of saw it coming but then it was happening and I couldn’t find my remote to turn it off, or mute it, or something. It took a few hours for me to calm down. So yeah, if easily triggered, maybe proceed with caution.

  52. Unfortunately, I was very, very stupid. I watched half on Thursday night when I learned it was released early. Then, in my sleep deprived dumbassness, I watched the second half yesterday. Now, I’m already pining/whining for season 4. And I’m now a Ruby Rose convert.

  53. not quite done yet and don’t want to read anybody else’s comments in case there are spoilers but omg ruby rose can’t act her way out of a paper bag and i don’t care, this love is real

  54. i am ten episodes in so i guess i like it! although i do feel like so far this season is sort of . . . lighter?? than the previous two? which with the storylines and stuff isn’t a bad thing at all but it does make it feel like much more of a deviation from reality, especially in terms of prison life. it has much more of a bad summer camp vibe to me this season. which is weird b/c they SHOW a lot of bad things happening with all the changes at the prison but i kind of didn’t FEEL the characters suffering b/c of it, if that makes sense. it felt more like the writers were teaching me about prison corporatization and then i got to go back to fun witch circles on the lawn and ruby rose and panties and stuff. with the first two seasons i didn’t get a lot of the criticism but with this one i do more. but also i didn’t finish it yet.

    some things i love so far: norma’s backstory, Rogers (although talk about unrealistic i think?), suzanne’s erotica and her fans, DAYANARA!!!, pennsatucky’s backstory, all the backstories

    some things i am on the fence about: having all the jokes feel v catered to my demographic even more so than in past seasons, the pure ogle-y, dramatic fun of the ruby rose story line so far

  55. As an Australian I’m pleased that the rest of the world is appreciating one of our fiiine exports, the one Ruby Rose.

    Also though, has AS shared her gender-bending YouTube video yet? Because that is definitely relevant to your interests.

    Mobile won’t let me embed so here’s the link eh! Enjoy :)

  56. did everyone in the prison forget that Norma CAN talk??? i mean, she sang a whole fucking song at the end of the first season. it’s driving me crazy.

    • Possible spoiler warning:

      The character of Norma is shown as being extremely self-conscious about her stutter and that’s why she doesn’t talk. It’s not unusual for persons with stutters or stammers to be able to sing unimpeded but still have challenges with speech.

  57. Just how great is season 3? I’m only on ep 3, and loving every effing second of every effing minute of it? Just how brilliant?
    And I must admit:
    I Love fruit. Ripe, soft, all the fruit. I love fruits. Fruit Loops. The whole effing grocery store.

  58. Watched it all, and DID NOT like S3…

    Piper is too damn nasty, Alex is way too vulnerable, too much Pentzatucky, Boo is way too awkward to watch and makes me cringe, the Norma crew are given WAAAAYYY too much airtime, and the wall-to-wall tension/detailed storylines (packed full of awesomeness each episode) in the first two seasons are replaced by a episodes that lack detail and depth.

    Ruby Rose was used in such a minimal way, and lacked any ‘character’ depth (build the characters!!).. She should definitely be utilised WAY more in S4 (and I would love to see her play a more ‘Frankie’ from Wentworth type role, with a little more larrikin and aussie sense of adventure).

    Positive things:
    1) Ruby Rose (LOVE an Aussie ripping it up in such a big show)
    2) the new budding relationship for Poussey
    3) the humour (especially the political wit)

    Negative things: (where do I start)
    1) Healy… get rid of him
    2) Caputo…. get rid of him
    3) the pace of the show (slow, slow, slow…)
    4) the aspects in the show that remind me of the “Jenny”/Irene Chaiken narcissistic
    self-indulgent scenes that do nothing for the show except make it awkward and overly
    5) the cringe-factor… really really really awkward cringe-worthy scenes and content…
    6) the lack of ‘drama’ – so much focus on ‘the baby’, no nitty gritty
    7) the alluding to Poussey ‘finding love’, knowing who had been lined up to play the love interest, yet not a single sign of it until the very last 5 minutes of the season… Could have thrown in some physical action in the second last episode/last episode and left us wanting WAY more next season.. A bigger build up in S3 would have made me far more interested in the budding relationship rather the the ‘alluding’ to it..

    All up, my rating would be a 4/10 for the entire season.. I do appreciate the very good mix of humour and drama, and the increase in lesbian content (although, more action, more relationship depths would be way better).

  59. Someone please book Ruby Rose for A-Camp next year? This is a thing that can happen, right?!

    SPOILER (but not really, like at all): I just finished Season 3… God damn Piper. Also, sea otters in the end.

    Bring on season 4!

  60. You guys … Ruby Rose can’t act. You can literally see her trying to hold her face in x,y,z expressions. All walls are broken. She can’t dissolve into a character and it’s painfully obvious.

    The last thing I want is to see that an actor is acting. Now, if Rose was playing someone who can’t act, she’d be brilliant. Sadly, I don’t think that’s the case.

    Listen, modelling doesn’t translate to acting. Modelling is becoming a more or less inert figure at which we look. Acting is living, becoming another person.

    Oh, also Stella and Piper have zero chemistry.

    They may bring her back, but I sincerely hope they don’t.

Comments are closed.