Friends! What a week! I’ve seen so much cool art (and a show I’m developing had it’s very first staged reading in front of a super supportive audience and it went SO WELL!!), I’ve spent so much good time with queer and trans cuties of color, my mom visited me, I saw Black Panther, and I started a book I shouldn’t make time for because I need to write my thesis, but I did anyway! And then, just yesterday, Janelle Monáe gave us the bisexual anthems we need. I’ve been so fucking busy lately, but I’ve also felt on top of the world. Like, in a small way, I totally get what people mean when they’re talking about their “grind” now. I’ve fallen asleep each night dirt tired, but so happy. I can only wish y’all have weeks this amazing too!
So, to you: how has your week been? I wanna know everything, obviously. Tell it all, you know I love talking to you.
But also, maybe you didn’t have a week worth talking about. Don’t worry, I’ve got something for us all. I compiled the best descriptions of the best tag yourself memes from a twitter account and made them into one giant meme with no theme just for you. Meme-ception, perhaps? I would be honored if you would partake in this time-honored, tried-and-true, and completely pure meme and tag yourself.
![](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2018-02-23-at-7.13.36-AM.png?resize=1220%2C740)
I know these are hard to read, so for accessibility, here’s a doc that has all the meme descriptions in it!
Which one of these little gems feels most like you? Why? Is anyone else a shameless raquelle sun, manica moon??? I can’t wait to read about it and more! Get in those comments!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love, Alaina
P.S. Have you seen this video yet???
P.P.S. Have you seen this video yet?????
I am the main orb: too many crushes, never finishes all the food on my plate, and I’m good with your pets.
Thanks for providing the doc with the descriptions!
michelle we’ve all got some main orb in us (esp the too many crushes part ??)
I am Bonanza. Bonanza is me.
i love spaghetti too
I’m ba/58
ok can ANYONE wear thigh highs?? feels fake
I’m definitely either Ba or the Jersey Devil. My week was looooong. Saturday night I hung out in the emergency room with my gf (10/10 would not recommend as a date idea but 10/10 would recommend as a future life partner test idea) after I suffered an allergy attack. Then my drama queen body fell even more apart all week….everything kinda spiraled downwards and I spent a lot of the week, when I wasn’t trying to drag myself to work, on the couch or in bed. On awesome news, though, today is my last day of Americorps!! I survived! Not sure how, but I did it! And the library I work at offered to keep me on in the same role but part time and much much better pay. So I have a job! And I got into grad school! And yesterday my gf and I went out to celebrate at a British themed restaurant with fries and shirley temples and tomorrow I’m headed to my mom’s to eat some allergy safe chocolate cake after my gf and I spend the afternoon wandering the mall like some 90s suburban tweens. A pretty decent week despite feeling like the bottom of a trash can :)
grad school and a better job hell yes!!!
Sorry about the allergy.
I would suggest tandeming (not a euphemism) as a future life partner test. I am now divorced, although admittedly the tandem didn’t stop as getting married…..
and I am far too literal to tell good anecdotes.
Hello I have waited all week to tell all my stranger friends on the internet that I got EnGAYged last weekend!!!!! I always had mixed feeling about marriage but I am so happy to have the most amazing girlfriend (soon to be wife!!!) of all time ??
Also can I tag myself as Helen, sunflower, and the cat with the purse??
HAPPY ENGAYGEMENT!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU!!!! Being engayged is way better than being engaged lol
CONGRATS! Welcome to being enGAYged, here is a complementary party hat & one of those things that goes “tooooot”.
@Marnicus! Congratulations on your ENGAYGEMENT!
raquelle ft that nameless cat tysm ur a star
that cat…..is you. also soccer moms unite
honestly we’re gonna be SUCH over-invested & over-educated room moms some day, i can’t wait until all the second graders try my nut-free gluten-free fat-heavy (body positive!) puddle cookies.
I’m a snark/Egg cusp, peaches moon, Biscuit rising (literally have only been to jail twice: once planned and once…spontaneously?)
This week the old man directing me as Katherine in Taming of the Shrew told me that I “display a resistance [he has] never encountered in 25 years–and [he] dislike[s] it intensely!” I am/would be proud, but first I have to make it through the damn play with him picking on me, yelling at me and trying to stop me from having any ideas. I’ve realised, too late, that he thinks of this whole thing as a gross psychosexual drama in which he is trying to tame ME. He literally told me I must “submit” to him. “Suffers every day.”
I’ve also just had a Mirena coil fitted to hopefully help deal with (undiagnosed) (probable) PMDD. This month’s round saw me actually making solid plans to kill myself. I told two doctors in two days, and they were both so incredibly casual. The only thing they cared about was what form of contraception I’m using. (Heterosexuality is compulsory. Continued living is not?)
Today I had to be at work alone with an old pharmacist who is known for sexually harassing women. I gave him my best fuck off looks for hours and stayed a minimum of two meters away at all times.
Have any of you had a Mirena for PMDD? Or just at all? What have your experiences been like?
What are your best tricks for coping with/resisting/ignoring pompous sexist windbags in positions of authority?
eli what a week! also like proud of you for your role and for being snarky at old men but WHY ARE WE STILL DOING TAMING OF THE SHREW?? the world is full of too many misogynists who love the idea of taming a woman to their will lets stop it forever
I mean….I came into it hoping it could be played subversively, like, looking at a woman who is loud and fierce and mad and smart, trying out different tactics of resistance, and I thought that maybe the dynamic with Petruchio could be shown as one where they end up working out a consensual M/s relationship. I was actually thinking about some of the stuff you’ve written about submission and bondage, and how playing games around submission might help Katherine process and cope with the traumas of living in a world where she has such little real power…. and that might be possible if Petruchio were someone who respected and loved her rage and intelligence and were willing to develop this with her, so that playing sub games with him might be paradoxically a real comfort and turn on for someone who’s spent her life battering against structures that bind her while pretending that *she’s* the one displaying unacceptable aggression and power.
I’m not sure if that approach would work. We’ve not had a chance to explore it. The Petruchio looked at me really blankly when I was talking about this. I still think it might be possible. I have been really troubled by what a desperately sad figure Katherine is, though. She’s got so much life in her, but she keeps falling silent. She’s on stage but she stops talking. And it feels like…she knows there’s no point talking to these people, not even raging against them. It’s just punching brick walls. I can feel such a terrible exhaustion in those silences. And playing Petruchio as sexy and fun…well, sure, he can play sexy games and fetishise her anger, and maybe sometimes it feels wonderfully exciting for Katherine to talk to someone who actually interacts with her… but then, he’s got the power, the real power, and he’s only playing games.
(Sorry…does it show that I’ve been thinking a lot and have had no outlet for my ideas? God I want to do a play about a strong butch whose fire and suffering don’t have to be inferred or excavated from lacunae. You’re right, let’s stop doing this fucking play.)
wow, okay new rule, we can only put on taming of the shrew if you direct it because that is such a GOOD reading of the play! i would love to see it directed in that way
I would watch your version. I WANT that to be this version you’re doing. Because damn, just, yes.
Okay A of all that is the ONLY reading I will ever accept for that play, and B of all fuuuuuuuck your doctors and your director and the creepy old dude. That’s gross.
I’ve been dealing with more pompous windbags than usual recently, and my favorite coping mechanism thus far is making up satirical ditties about them. It’s petty, but it totally helps.
Not a Mirena, but I’m on Implanon to help manage my PMDD after the Pill made me a painful mess. It was a little painful at first in a way that made me worry about DVT – turns out I don’t have DVT BUT the hormones cause dilation in the blood vessels which can hurt for some people. So compression socks it is!
If you’re on Twitter the #PMDD and #pmddpeeps tags get a lot of good support and discussion.
ALSO I have been screaming about Janelle all morning!! Both songs are amazing but the line that sticks in my head is “so good so good so fucking real” like YES that validating feeling of being seen!!!
SO FUCKIN REAL!!!
and those shimmying shoulders!
I suppose that I’m Saturn.
Now on to the main event. I was reading people saying that Janelle is bi-Jesus, and I began to wonder, “How many Jesuses to we have?” So I found three, and I thought I would let everybody else fill in.
1) The Vander-Jesus
![](http://cdn1-www.afterellen.com/assets/uploads/2015/03/Screen-Shot-2015-03-24-at-9.17.23-PM.png)
2) Hayley Kiyoko, the lesbian Jesus.
![](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/hayley-kiyoko-instagram-.jpg)
3) Janelle Monáe, the bi-Jesus.
![](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Screen-Shot-2012-11-12-at-1.29.03-AM.png)
????????
THEE holy trinity
Definitely Peaches and Bonanza!
My week has been so GREAT and so unexpected! As the week began, I was really not feeling the whole going to class/doing my homework thing (grad school is exhausting). And then, the weather pulled through for me, here in Portland if we have ANY snow things shut down fast. My classes mostly got cancelled. I also decided that I would skip my elective class and drive to Seattle on Wednesday (a break in the bad weather) because I HAD to go see the Jim Henson/ Muppet Exhibition that is up there. I realized it was closing next Monday and if I missed it I would be so mad at myself. I got up early and drove there. IT WAS SO GOOD! I spent almost 3 hours just taking every little thing in! So beautiful! So fun! Then as I headed back home I stopped to visit my cousin who I hadn’t seen in years. Now I have a lot to catch up on for school but I feel really good!
snow days in grad school are so healing and good! I’m glad you got those!
Ooh, a Jim Henson/ Muppet Exhibition !! Do you know if it’s travelling ? I’d love to see that.
I’m not sure, I know it was in the Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle for a few months (it’s just closing now) so it may be headed elsewhere. It’s called Jim Henson Imagination Unlimited if you want to look up where it may be going now. Hopefully it will travel around because it was soo good. I had seen another in the same place maybe 5 years ago, this was a little different and more comprehensive, but both were really good.
Thanks @lundy I will definitely hunt that up !
The Jersey Devil! Thanks for this, Alaina! <3
what’s your favorite pun though?
I am snark and Saturn (tho I’d substitute “likes it when it rains” with “likes it when it’s really windy”, because I love the sound of wind in the leaves blocking all other noise.
Yep – that’s the bit odd part of it *g* But at least I own it.
?n a t u r e s o u n d s ?
I’m a sunflower Peaches because, hi, I would love to wrap you all in soft blankets and give you some warm tea and hold you all while you pet my soft and sweatered ferrets (not a euphemism, I just love my ferrets).
obsessed with this description and you tbh
When can i come over? Especially ferrets in sweaters omg.
Snark with a side of Snark
glad to have you here!!!!
S A T U R N
B Y E E E E E
it’s a lot
I am Peaches as I love tea & plants(high MJ, hi plants in the backyard). Though I also do like space as it’s just soo mysteriously beautiful and infinite.
That is great news about the your show. I hope it turns out amazing! Do you mind if we ask what the show is about? Also, who couldn’t do with more trans cuties of color in their life? I know I do. Speaking of which my local queer coffee shop as TQPOC flirt night tonight and may go as it’s a good place to meet cute tpoc.(I don’t feel comfortable really in white space, but also not in POC spaces as I’m that grey area of being told I’m not white for being Iranian & Jewish, but also being Caucasian as Iran is part of the Caucus mountains; therefore, I id as not white.)
My week has been resonablly good. Been dealing with the fact it’s finally winter here and it’s below average the temps. I’ve been at work with a bit of a cold all week and it’s not fun at all. I also haven’t been able to go to the gym, which has made me feel blah. I went to a HER event Saturday with a new tinder friend & also met up a few people I know. The events in person are way better than the app, partially because it’s California so I can’t really get kicked out for being trans woman aligned and not passing. Plus, all the bathrooms were gender neutral, which was a interesting choice and win for me, but I could see how some trans(& cis) women alike would not be a fan. Was expecting only one to be not both. My new friend is a pretty cool (cis)femme of color, but also harbors some internalized misogyny & some butchphobia. OTOH she was willing to listen & learn which I see as a positive sign.
On Sunday I spent a lovely day at my local queer coffee shop, aka Cuties, aka The Planet. Meet some lovely people there and had some great donuts and tea. Yay! I told the woman I like she’s awesome, she replied me her “dog misses me ;),” & she is glad I am an awesome friend. Made me feel good as she’s a lively & cool biWOC. We may go to the park with her dog on Sunday to relax, as weather should be more normal(read warmer) and be in a nature-ish environment.
Spent some time at the beach alone while my new friend went to a girl’s place for some fun and the Mexican restaurant I normally go to now closes at 12am(vs 3am). Ugh to that(the food part). View of the Queen Mary ship at after midnight.
![](https://78.media.tumblr.com/56680afcfa8ae5c18ba86254b2a078ad/tumblr_p4mb75cBhl1vhu0zxo1_540.jpg)
And for anyone who needs this(written in glitter pen cause you sparkle).
Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive weekend!
Not sure why the second image isn’t working if someone could maybe fix it, that would be positive. Thank you.
![](https://78.media.tumblr.com/a7711ad38d41ea741cf9f3be32021304/tumblr_p4mb75cBhl1vhu0zxo2_540.jpg)
my play is based on a book called “black girl love” by anondra williams that i suggest EVERYONE read. it’s a bunch of vignettes and poetry about black queer women’s lives and relationships and it’s pretty hecking beautiful.
That does sound beautiful. I send positive thoughts your way friend. You will do great!
Definitely saturn + the jersey devil, minus shaky camera movies because motion sickness is real.
This was an A+ week. Icy weather gave us the gift of going home early from work on Tuesday and then coming in late on Thursday, and I have today off so 3-day weekend, please and thank you. I had dinner with my mom on Monday and succeeded in snatching the check from her so she didn’t try to pay for HER OWN BIRTHDAY DINNER (mom gets more like her mother every day, it cracks me up). Lots of unexpected time off means I’ve finished most of my grad school assignments for the week, and I’m going to see The Shape of Water tomorrow with some friends (and hopefully get my movie pass soon!) and probably swing over to Barnes and Noble after to pick up my book-of-the-month. I also baked some scones, did some painting, and started the first steps of putting together a library program about empowering teen activism. This week = crushed.
NICE! what’s your book of the month this month??
I’m not sure yet! Every month I alternate between buying a book I’ve already read and a book I haven’t read yet. January’s book was a book I’ve already read (the delightful The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue) so this month is a “haven’t read yet” month. We’ll see where the wind blows me!
Hello Sunshines! I missed all your lovely smiles and endless puns. Peaches/Devil here to represent. Colorful leaves are the best… and colorful rocks. One time I was looking down and found a pile of frog eggs. Tea is also good – especially ginger for my upset tummy lately. Did you know you can get tea membership cards and earn the exclusive “platinum tea snob” status after several hundred cups?
Otherwise life is being mean, but I try to keep smiling. I’m failing out of grad school for the second time due to health issues and being fired from too many jobs to count. One day I might actually get the right to be a teacher. Dating is… awkward? Like I have a date with this guy tomorrow… but my body is not into guys this week. How do I tell my bisexual compass to behave? You can find me an instruction manual for this stuff? Maybe I should ask my dog. Dogs seem to know everything ^__^
omg a bisexual manual would be….ideal.
I would also be interested in a copy of this if someone were to write / come upon one…
Good to see you back Saga. I’ve been thinking about you since you posted about your health problems with the hormones and then went silent for ages. I hope your health has improved and life gets better. Best Wishes.
Thank you Astra, that is so sweet. I’m doing much better ^__^ Wishing you the best as well.
omg i am Helen, Saturn (lol shout out 2 my natal chart where a shitton of stuff’s in saturrrrrnnnnnn), 58!! & DEFINITELY Jersey Devil!!! I am far too satisfied by actually being able to tag myself hahahahahaah.
I feel incredibly anxious rn & i just took an out of date Ativan, so idek if it’ll work. Hah. I’ve felt like crying all day, but i can’t get myself to cry. My chest & throat feel tight. It sucks. I almost cried while trying to scan stuff so i can send it to an editor! I spent my whole allotted lunch time trying to get it all done; even went across the street to FedEx, but they got scanned as PDFs, & idk how to make that go to being a JPG. (Plus, i reeeeally wanted to make sure the dpi was good, & the nice person at FedEx didn’t know what dpi are, so i was lil like…. aaaa.)
I desperately need a new job. Something not shady & sketchy & messed up, something that i don’t dread to the point of upsetting my stomach. Something that doesn’t make me want to cry/actually cry. (Would it be weird/awkward if i cried at my desk right now? It would be, wouldn’t it.)
Also, our metro is down until at least March 11th, so there’s a shuttle bus thing in place. But they’re almost always incredibly crowded, & it now takes me an hour & a half to 2 hours to get home/to work. Because they’re coach buses, you’d think it’d be novel & cool & comfy, but it makes me feel like all i ever do is sit (which is the sad truth). And i’ve also been reading a lot about Jonestown & Peoples Temple recently, & while i was reading on one of the shuttle buses, i was reminded forcefully of the Temple’s fleet of old Greyhound buses that they used to go all around the US. It messed me up. And yet i still want to read more. It’s so, so sad, the truly wonderful people who died. Peoples Temple was based on things that i believe in, which i think makes its end even more disturbing.
I just feel incredibly “off” today. But last night i got to give my friend Rachael a mala that i made just for her, & she loved it! I had kinda made my own after reading Mother of the Unseen World, about Mother Meera, who is an avatar. Rachael saw what i made & wanted one, so i bought beads that i felt were “her”, & made her a 108 bead mala. Her & her gf’s cat Harlem wore it for a bit (i posted it on my Instagram, which is lossen_). But i was so excited, especially since tonight she has reiki appointments, & so her new mala can go with her to help! :)
I opened it up to everyone who wants their own custom-made prayer beads of any kind, including free form ones & rosaries, so if anyone is interested, please feel free to email me at [email protected] & put “Shameless plug” as the title, because i’m terrible haha. But hey, it, uh, will help pay for the new Ativan that i need, so………..
Caitlin thank you for giving Helen her love! I almost tagged myself but it felt a little too close to home as I currently think about what I want to buy from Amazon while I also have zero dollars.
haha no problem! I just delete emails from Michaels and AC Moore, by this point. And try to avoid Dollar Tree….
Saturn and snark, with an extra shot of snark thrown in for good measure.
My week was boring AF, but last night I met a bearded dragon and now I am convinced I have met my soulmate.
wow i love that picture
I was super excited. The dragon was emotionally unavailable. It was love at first sight.
Today I’ve been feeling uninvested. My wife found a nice sadist, who is helping her be the best she can be (the consequence for her not taking out the trash was a night of no videogames), so that’s working pretty well for me. The kids keep being angry, which is understandable as kids in the foster care system. Still it’s tiring
I’m thinking of quitting my job that I wanted for so many years. I’ve been doing it for almost three years, but right now just feel like it is not a good fit with the other pieces of my life. And I do have something else lined up that would be more flexible, so we’ll see.
❤️
I’m Peaches after raiding Saturn’s wardrobe, so no one can tell how soft and fluffy I really am.
It has been a weirdly “off” week. I don’t like how “not me” I’ve been feeling … petty and jealous. The worst part is that I see it happening, but can’t seem to stop it. It feels like I’m possessed. Like, I’ll get really upset at how truly incompetent people with superior job titles than me are, even though I’d NEVER accept a promotion to their position. It just really hurts my ego that these people who can’t do the basics of their job think they’re helping me by telling me incorrectly how to do things I’ve been doing correctly for 20 years. And then someone gets a whole lot of attention, and a free career ride, and lots of credit for false reasons, despite being incompetent, just for being blonde, pretty and smiley, and suddenly that makes me angry.
It’s ridiculous, and Faustine doesn’t normally care about such things, because she doesn’t want those jobs, and it makes no difference what privileges got other people where they are, it’s not even interesting to think about. Yet, there she is, like some puppet on a string and I can only watch. Hormones? Demons? Same thing? Astrology?
❤️❤️
I seem to recall experiencing much the same feelings at around the 20 year mark in my own career. I’ve no advice to offer other than perhaps eventually deciding to ignore the work anomalies and just focus on the bits that were important to me. It really is hard to live through, especially when you actually care about the quality of the work that you and your organisation does. I never wanted a management type position either but seeing others who were much less competent end up in those positions and then causing major havoc, would drive me nuts.
Maybe that’s just another “life lesson” that we’re ment to learn from.
Best Wishes and GoodLuck.
a mix of the Jersey Devil and the sunflower.
Not a super interesting week but I did get more hours at work which means more money to buy more nerd stuff!
yay hours yay nerds!
Saturn bonanza.
I spent last weekend at a cabin with eight of my girls. We were doing some hiking in the mountains of North Carolina. The weather was horrible but that didn’t stop us. The first day, knee deep in mud going up a logging road. The second day, sleet, frozen plants, and no view at the top. The third day, sunny and clear and a quick loop trail before heading back. Also, the flu. So I’ve been sick all week.
A lot of sleeping, watching anything gay I could find, reading, and listening to the A+ podcasts. Which would be great without the flu. Also, the doctor I saw was a babe. Really glad I didn’t throw up on her.
Am I the only one that got triggered all to hell over Billy Graham dying? My mother used to listen to him all the time. She made us listen to him. Like going to church all the time wasn’t enough, ffs. We lived in Asheville so she took classes in Black Mountain at the Billy Graham Center. Anyway, I have all kinds of feelings being brought back up. He was a big part of me hating myself for being gay. Not to mention the fear of hell.
Today I saw part of Trump’s speech at the Conservative Political Coalition Action Conference. It made me sick and depressed. What a piece of crap. All the people in the audience applauding him should be ashamed of themselves. I saw the part when he was talking about Billy Graham being a great man. I changed the channel, crying because to me that moment was a microcosm of what a shitfest our country is in these days.
On the plus side, since I’ve been home I’ve been taking care of my friend’s Golden puppy for a few hours during the day. And she is a freaking delight.
oh man i definitely had a heart rate spike when i saw billy graham died. he was awful. i also don’t really know how to talk about death though. also, so many saturns!
I felt like planet earth and humankind scored a big effing touchdown when this man went and got sucked back up into the void.
It feels like I’m living in an entirely different universe when people talk about how great he was. Good riddance to a man I honestly thought was already dead. We’ve got your back Denise, we see you and we’re standing next to you. <3
That creature did his best to twist the decency out of the world. Like you I was only too relieved to see him off.
i’m saturn and snark and i’m really okay with that. warning: the rest of this comment is sad ranting.
y’all, i just realized how close the quarter is to being over and i have so much work to do. i signed up for a women’s studies class not knowing that 50 percent of the grade is working on a cancer research group project and i’m out of my depth reading medical science, in a disorganized group that isn’t communicating, working on a project with vague and unclear directions. the readings about cancer’s social impacts and constructions around the disease are interesting, but i kind of feel like we’ve just been conscripted as interns for the professor’s pet project. i just wish that the nontraditional nature of the class had been in the course description when i registered, because when i signed up for women’s studies i was expecting lecture/discussion, two papers, and a final exam, not an extended special research project. i’m also in a seminar about “queer biospheres” and although it’s interesting, it’s way outside my critical specialty and the readings are half-incomprehensible, so i’m not sure how i’m going to wrangle a 15-20 page paper out of it in the next four weeks.
it has not been a good week in the academy for me, y’all. lately i’ve been feeling like i’m having a falling out with queer theory. where it used to feel so intimately tied to my life and spoke to me strongly, so much of what i read now feels alien to me. like, i read an article and i just have no response and nothing to say about it. i’m still so deeply committed to literary studies and i can’t imagine not being in english class forever, but the things i want to say about literature aren’t queer-theory things (or theory things at all — they’re close-reading text-heavy things, not high-theory abstractions) and that is very not in vogue in the academy right now. maybe i’m just burned out after three years of nonstop study, but i’m worried that i’ve aimed myself really strongly at the ultimate goal of a professorship and there’s just not a place anywhere for the work i do/want to do. and i’m realizing that my GPA is way too low for any half-decent graduate program and i don’t think i have enough time before graduation to fix it.
if any of you have been in this place of no confidence and looming-graduation fear, please tell me how to deal.
also it’s pisces season so my creative energies have kicked into high gear, i’m full of ideas again, and i’m feeling like i should say fuck it all, finish my degree, and move to L.A. to become a screenwriter. (worth noting that i’ve never taken a creative writing class, much less a screenwriting class, in my life.) lately i feel like all of the stories i want to write are ones i’d rather see than read. or maybe i’ve just been watching too many movies lately because i’m procrastinating everything. last week i went on a lisa cholodenko binge and although i have always been one of those northern california people who vocally hates southern california, now i feel like i want to live there. (it may be because all of her films are so sunny and we’re in the middle of a cold wave. it isn’t getting above 55 and i am so tired of being cold. i realize that some of you live in minnesota and are rolling your eyes at 55 being cold, but i literally don’t own anything warmer than a patagonia fleece. i live in the bay area! i’m supposed to be able to wear t-shirts in january!) i’m eagerly awaiting warmer weather.
WOW, this has been a long comment with a lot of griping. sorry to be a bummer, y’all. in good news: i am actually submitting some of my writing for contests and publications, which is the first time i’ve felt okay putting my stuff out in the world; i’ve been eating a lot healthier and drinking water and i feel really good and my skin looks better than it ever has; and in a month i will be in berlin with my best friend and we’re going to have the best time of our lives!!
snarky saturn ❤️??
I’m a slice of cake served with a demitasse of iced coffee.
I’m enjoying a new relationship with a dear friend and enjoying how proactive and communicative we’re being. This is already the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. We’re having a day out at the museum tomorrow and I am positively giddy with excitement.
top marks for “demitasse” and healthy relationships!
Cake, definitely cake.
Got eyebrows like a Byzantine sovereign.
Janelle Monáe has stolen my ability to word away.
That is all today.
Just realised cake is represented by a snake….
CAKE IS SNAKE
Snake cake.
??
Those to emote things together make me think of that snake game on nokia phones…now have image of that pixel sprite snake looping through cake but the cake looks like it’s from a 2005 PC game. I’m not high just sleep deprived and ever I do get high I think I’d need a sober minder, an agile one who can think on their feet.
There are many snake cakes I found, but they look to be in two primary categories:
“Holy shit a snake!” near photo realness Cake Boss sculptureness cake
or
Cake that looks like a 2nd graders crayon drawing and might have M&M’s or something for scales
I love how many of us are peaches! Look at all these nature-loving softies. ????
I’m Peaches/Ba but feeling verrrry called out by Helen. Damnit, Helen!
Give into the Helen
we are all helen
Hell yeah, All Hail Helen !
Firstly, a huge thanks for making the descriptions accessible. So many memes are totally beyond me as a blind person because there aren’t any. I very much appreciate it!
Part Snark, part Saturn. I think?
It’s been a good week. Thought that we had a person to fill the open position on my team, but they got an offer we couldn’t beat. Back to the recruiting board. (Any Straddlers want to be the CRM guru for a nonprofit? ;-)).
Got to have breakfast with my cousin which was fantastic. I haven’t been “home” in years and have only seen her when she’s been traveling through town on business.
It’s cold and rainy. I think I’ll go take a nap. :-) Have a great weekend all!
ok what’d you get for breakfast?
AHhhh! How could I forget to answer that, the most important of questions? Scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and a cinnamon raisin bagel. And, because it was a coffee shop and I don’t like coffee, hot chocolate. :-)
I’m Bonanza with a side of Cake. I was sick with the flu last week and part of this week, which gave me a chance to watch LOTS of VOD – Pariah, Everything Sucks!, Bloomington, Princess Cyd, Riverdale s1, Gia, Anyone but Me, and Carol (for the millionth time).
Somehow, Netflix and Amazon Prime STILL do not know that I’m gay.
Also, Janelle Monáe is a goddess incarnate, and even though the world sucks right now, she makes a little bit of the world feel right and beautiful. Bless!
Happy weekend, everybody!
Janelle Monae is the new president, make me feel is the new national anthem
I am 1000% in support of this!
I’m “anonymous pink tiger” that pops up in the google sheet.
yeah you are!
Saturn makes me feel so seen. I too am stressed,the most sarcastic, odd and a lover of rain.
Went to a networking event for POC in publishing and I’m so glad I didn’t chicken out of it. I’m eating pizza while writing this and I plan to spend a good chunk of tomorrow writing creatively with Janelle Monae on repeat.
yay networking! so hard but so worth it
I had a few friends there so it made the whole thing a lot easier :P
saturnflower. And I’ve had make me feel on repeat since yesterday. I’m sure eventually I’ll go back to having the Black Panther score on repeat constantly but goddamn this song speaks to my bisexual heart so much.
I think I’m getting sick, I’m having trouble bringing myself to work on my dissertation, I absolutely have to do so because I’m super out of time with it, I just spent a bunch of feelings on yoga pants and purple mascara that I don’t need.
I’m a Saturn Iced Coffee because because, hahaha. Seriously though, I’m almost always stressed, I’m definitely odd (tho I think it’s cultural mebbe), and I love the rain. I moved to the Northwest because I was promised pleasant rain showers, and I haven’t been disappointed. Lovely lovely moisture <3
Iced Coffee because I hate following the rules. It's just a twist of bitter irony that I somehow ended up in accounting. (I get my kicks by rounding to the nearest dollar.) I'm told that I'm attractive, I feel my emotions, and I've definitely been told that I'm pleasantly, gently sadistic.
This was a fun chart. XD
Helen Iced Coffee here.
Just another jersey devil dancing to Make Me Feel on repeat in the kitchen.
I’m probably Helen, Peaches, and the cat with the bag.
snark/saturn/sunflower
I have done a Cooking Frenzy, will probably do more Cooking Frenzy over the weekend because I need to occupy myself with stuff before surgery Monday and also push an absurd amount of fluids into my body so that maybe they don’t need like 4 nurses to get the IV started for my surgery (but lol I’m not gonna hold my breath. having chronically low blood volume sucks).
I also got new glasses and that’s nifty:![](https://i.imgur.com/DaADIe3.jpg)
Good Luck with your surgery and your new specs look great.
Your glasses are awesome !
Also your whole outfit is super cool, love the tux tshirt, and the flannel.
The Straddleverse will be there for you on Monday no fear
Hurrah for a successful reading! I’m making good progress on my show too, we’re reading to write a first draft and we’ve got a magic consultant on board. Woo!
I’m 2/3rds Saturn but mostly the Neko Atsume cat with the bag.
I guess I would be The Jersey Devil meme (though I live on the west coast).
-I am a shy lesbian, when first meeting another lesbian (but not later on)
-Dog person
-Unironically loves shaky camera movies
-Stops to look at cool leaves on the ground
-Laughs at my own puns
Normally I am sarcastic Saturn. Also, I love rain because I’m from the desert and HAVE YOU EVER SMELLED A DESERT IN RAIN? Right now though, between my hypothyroidism and PMDD I am 1000% exhausted and Ba.
I got a sort-of promotion at work because my supervisor left and I need to take over her duties. It’s cool because I get a window with a great view but mostly it’s awful because I have no idea what I’m doing. The good news is, my boss probably won’t fire me because I am supposed to leave in a month anyway.
After work today I took a nap (see? Ba) but I was woken up by a scary squeaking noise. I am house-sitting my grandparents’ big, slightly haunted house so of course, my brain said the scary noise was a scary ghost-man swinging back and forth on the scary swing set in the backyard, even though there is no swing set in the backyard. I put on some pants, called my mom (like all scared adult humans), and looked around until I realized the noise was a loose pipe wobbling in the wind. Yay, no scary swinging ghost man! I felt better until my grandparents’ dog howled–she sounds like how I imagine La Llorona would sound (it’s an awful moaning, wailing situation) and I got frightened all over again.
Time to make everything better by cooking and eating potato tacos!
Props to you for staying in a haunted house. Potato tacos sound like the most awesome thing why didn’t I think of that
Okay, so they cast the youngest sister on the new “Charmed” reboot, and I got to thinking. They cast the boyfriend of the oldest sister before they cast the oldest sister. Not only is this guy going to be a co-lead on a show that’s supposed to be about three sisters, but they’ll have the actress do a chemistry read against him, instead of him doing a chemistry read against her. No, CW, that’s not how you put together a “feminist” TV show.
I’m probably an Helen. I’m poor, but I’ll definitely throw down money for sushi.
I’m a Saturnian Jersey Devil (minus the shaky cam). I see you, Mikayla!
I like a girl. I think she likes me back? I’m a baby lesbian in her 30s three dates in and trying to figure out how to kiss her. Or figure out if she wants to kiss me. I’m watching Everything Sucks and wishing I were as brave as these teenagers.
meme twins!
saturn jersey devils 4 lyfe <3
Unsolicited advice that might not be at all helpful: if you guys haven't done some adorable hand-holding yet, try starting there? Plan a date that involves a little walking, do a Classic Hand Brush and see how she responds. And if you're already doing adorable hand-holding, then she likes you! Ask her if you can kiss her! Good luck! <33
I’ll take all the advice I can get. (:
Adorable isn’t really in my wheelhouse. But I’m trying.
Being on your grind is the BEST feeling, v happy for you Alaina!!
I’m starting to feel back on my grind for the first time in months. Can’t wait til I quit this side job so I can be on it every damn day. My to-do list is actually miles long at this point. Just one more week!
And I am def saturn/the jersey devil. I dunno about these meme things, I always feel kinda judged… is that the point? Am I too old for these things??
No such thing as too old. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself…
ahahah! That was very entertaining. I have to say that I’m a mix of Saturn and The Jersey Devil.
I have a new ship! Dottie and Ms. Lint on “The Tick”.
I’m the 90s music-listening cat.
My week was mostly pretty great. Got a briefing out that I’ve been working on for a while and my boss was very complimentary about it. The local queer association has organised a forum on LGBTI+ in schools next week and I emailed my group to encourage people to go (I work in education policy) and some people are really keen which makes me happy. We went on a harbour cruise Friday evening and the weather was beautiful and it was just a really nice time. Now I’m listening to the new Screaming Females album and it’s fkn awesome!
I’m still trying to decide what I am, probably best as Saturn and Sunflower with a pinch of Jersey Devil.
The Darlin One and I have ferried our aching bones on a long road trip up the coast several hundred kilometres this week seeking our “feet first” house. The one to live in till our last gasp. Saw several nice places but not “the one” yet. I expect we’ll have to do all again before we make it happen. We stopped to have a picnic lunch today after a viewing and found a pretty spot beside “The Mighty Clarence River” and watched the water dragons and the fruit bats going about their business around us. I should have taken photos but never think to till it’s too late.
We’re now sitting in the World of Pain Motel (the Darlin Girl’s good at 5 star joints that don’t deserve them) getting ready for the marathon trip home tomorrow. Oh Goddess! We ache. Still, all in a good cause and it’s been good to check out these houses we’ve been eyeing.
Right now we feel like we could sleep for a week.
Have a great week everyone. I hope it treats you well.
I pick my motels by vibrating bed
That sounds like a great idea, can’t say I’ve ever seen them advertised in rural New South Wales though. We’ll have to keep our eyes peeled.
I am Jersey Devil, who is also considered a cruptid because they are rarely seen outside of their domain (aka my bedroom).
Also what is spellcheck
Hello my name used to be Helen Cake but I ditched the Helen part (at least I hope so, if she comes back I’m in serious doodoo).
So just call me Cake. Great eyebrows, (yeah!), lots and lots of questions, plus I think I’m nice enough. :-D
I guess im Saturn, minus the sarcasm.
I’m a Bonanza with egg ascendant and Jersey Devil moon.
A Saturn because wow that fits me so well and it’s making me feel embarrassed.
Janelle’s new songs gave me life to this bleak week and I have been telling it to anyone who comes near me.
Peaches on a good day, Saturn on all the rest
Yeah I’m Saturn, snark, the one that’s poor but spends money and a few others. I’m try-polar what can I say lol