Friday Open Thread: Did You Forget That Very Important Thing You Had to Do?

Yo! I am late to the Open Thread party. This was my ONE job for the day, y’all and I was late! And I don’t even have an excuse. I woke up at 11am and had breakfast. I got my best homeboi to shape me up. I was chillin.

kinda like this but with me in the chair.

kinda like this but with me in the chair.

Didn’t even remember that I had things to do. Like responsibilities. I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only one who’s had that “oh fuck” moment where the realization of that thing you had to do appears all of a sudden from the fog of your over-stimulated brain and strikes an immediate clutch-your-chest wave of fear that ripples throughout your body. Tell me I’m not the only one. This is why the thread is late, y’all, ’cause today I had that moment.


I was going to ask about your dreams because I have the most epic dreams, like dreams where I’m in a black and white movie and everyone is speaking Japanese and no one can point me the way to the Bronx — those types of endless dreams. But maybe today’s not the day, maybe today’s the day where all of you commiserate with me on your biggest “oh fuck” day. Tell me about the day you forgot to pick up your friend’s kid from day care or the day you left a birthday cake inside of the oven and it turned into birthday burnt af brisket. What have you forgotten to do? And how did you recover?

Like muy sorry, yo.

Like muy sorry, yo.

I recovered from this by sitting my round ass down exactly where I was and typing this up for all of you and for me and for the sake of my relationship with the beautiful people who run this site. Hallo! I set myself up with some Missy Elliot radio, a cup of hot beautiful coffee and a laptop that’s telling me I might have 45 mins left to finish this.

And of course, share whatever you feel in the comments. Is there something you just have to share? Did you find the most beautiful lime green tutu at the thrift shop? Did you finally learn how to pop an endo on your Kawasaki? Or perhaps… was this week the week where you made the best grilled cheese sandwich of your life? Share the things!

Also, I’m dropping some selfies of me looking terrified and apologetic into the comments. Feel free to join me. Let me see your beautiful faces.

PS: Here’s some Destiny’s Child because maybe you forgot to pay your bills on top of everything else, maybe I did too.

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URLwp_postsand then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.wp_postsCopy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.

2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.

3. Go forth and jam.

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Gabrielle Rivera is an awesomely queer Bronx bred, writer, spoken word artist and director. Her short stories and poems have been published in various anthologies such as the Lambda Award winning Portland Queer: Tales from the Rose City and The Best of Panic! En Vivo from the East Village. Her short film "Spanish Girls are Beautiful" follows a group of young Latina and Caucasian girls who like girls as they hook up, smoke up and try to figure sh*t out. She also freelances for while working in the film and television industry. Gabrielle is currently working on her first novel while bouncing around NYC performing spoken word and trying to stick it to the man.

gabby has written 102 articles for us.


  1. I don’t have much to share but enjoy some phrases I overheard customers say, this week:

    “Then she took her shirt off and her titties looked like candy corn, but in a good way.”

    “Trapness EverQueen!”

    “I promise you my boss looks like George Washington which makes me question our mostly black employee roaster. Always slaves to the system, man.”

    “They’re making another fucking Frozen, Dylan! We have to sit through another fucking Frozen, Dylan!”

  2. My memory as of late has gone to shit, so if it’s not a reminder in my phone or written down then there is a good chance I will forget. Even as I write this I can’t think of an example, so here are some pictures I took last weekend.



    On a side note, Blue Herons are my new favorite bird but super hard to seek up on.

  3. Yesterday I realized that my tags were going to expire; I usually do it right away but totally let it slip this year. So I skipped lunch and went to get the tag thing taken care of. Only to realize I had forgotten about an interview I was supposed to conduct (I’m a recruiter, there is no excuse for this). I had to call from my car and mentally take note in every single thing this person telling me.

    What I’m saying is that I totally killed it yesterday. ;)

    • I totally thought I was super on top of it by getting all the paperwork together to mail a request for tags from the state where my truck is registered, which is about 3,000 miles from where I currently am/will be for 6 months or so. And I went for a run and took the envelope with me and I dropped it in the mailbox and I was so proud of myself…and then I got back to where I was staying and saw one very vital piece of paper that had not made it into the envelope…so, yeah. That’s been fun. Chasing bureaucracy for some stickers. :)

  4. Absolutely, ugh. I have to pick a dentist or my insurance will pick one for me, apparently, and I haven’t been to the dentist in almost a year, b/c job hopping etc. And I loved my old dentist and can’t go back to them so I am avoiiiiiiiiiding it. But, teeth!

    And gf is forever on my case to update our shared google calendar to actually reflect my plans are to make it functional. Reasonable, but tedious.

    But I did mostly get a lot done this week, re: wedding planning, or at least I edited the website that I made when I was drunk and making an elaborate joke to send to my out-of-town girlfriend. Now it reads like something that is cheeky but I will be less embarrassed to have my mom read. (My mom knows about but doesn’t want to be reminded of my “slatternly ways”, but my gf thinks when you talk about it like that, that it is hilarious.)

    And I got my very own office for being a therapist in, after being in practice for three years! (I’ve been subletting office space) My name will be on the door! What the fuck, adulthood!

    And today I’m wearing a sundress with seahorses on it.

  5. Oh, like, that time when I electronically filed my Federal taxes at the last possible moment and it got rejected because I’d forgotten to check whether it was my turn to take the deduction for my kid (and it wasn’t)? Yeah, like that.

    I had a different kind of chest-clutching realization just today. An old friend (from elementary school kind of old) sent me an Adrienne Rich poem because she thought I might like it (I did). Reading it brought back the memory of having seen Rich give a reading of some of the poems from A Wild Patience Has Taken Me This Far. One poem in particular, “For Ethel Rosenberg,” turned my world upside down. It was a real “this changes everything” moment in my life. Of course, it took me 30 more years to put the pieces together to understand what “everything” was, but I realized today just how earthshaking that evening was for me.

  6. Well the recent one was last night for me. I was suppose to bring the car into the drive way after the sprinklers turned off. I forgot and my pops got a bit frustrated at me for forgetting. I had a good excuse, I was watching the Daily Show. Lol
    Also, I told my father(again) I’m not into having male pronouns used, & he still thinks I’m crazy. Maybe one day he’ll get it? Also, think a good cry would serve me well.

    On the brightside I’m seeing Sleater Kinney tonight & excited af. I’m going to try to see if I can bring my small camera to the show, cause while it’s not the one I usually take pics with its still better than a phone(specially at a concert setring). It be cool to have a recording of my favorite song. Who else is going to the show tonight? Maybe we can have a mini straddler meet up?

    No interesting images to share this week. But, hopefully I will next week.

    • if you meet up with adorable straddlers at that concert tho, be still my heart plz post those pics here tonite afterwards. no regrets. you’ll look perfect and so will your gf and everyone else.

      • I regret to inform I have no gf/significant other & will be going to the show alone. Plus side, I’m going to sleater Kinney alone and will bask in the total queer-ness that is them and swoon every time Carrie does her kicks or says something funny and/or charming. But, if I do see a straddler and I’m not shy I will post pics of the mini meet.

          • My word were there hot queer ladies galore. Sadly it looks like some of them came with less than interested partner or so it looked. But, wow everywhere you’d look short hair cuts and/or plaid. I wish Autostraddle had like cards I could pass out to them. Like say have you heard of this awesome site. It’s almost better than gay brownies with rainbow and chocolate sprinkles. Plus, it’s really inclusive of all.

    • It’s happy that you’re doing a thing! I’m glad you’re the kind of person who can have a real party by yourself. Like, you’re by yourself, but not alone. I love that attitude, more people need it – hopefully you’ll rub off on people at the concert, which will be extra exciting, because hey girlfrand hey, way to rub on people!

  7. My little sister’s school usually gets out at 3, but every Wednesday it lets out 1:50. I have forgotten her every single Wednesday all damn year. Every Wednesday she calls like “uh, are you coming? It’s raining/subzero temps/cold/my backpack is heavy/etc.” when she’s grounded and gets her cell phone taken away, she just stands outside the middle school and waits, hoping I’ll show up.


  8. I also teach high school and 4 kids flicked my class today. I was halfway home before I realized I left the detention slips sitting on my desk. Oops. They got away with it today, I guess.

    (Where I live, we call it flicking class. My friends from other cities all say that sounds weird, that most people say “cutting” or “skipping” class, but I don’t buy that.)

    • yo for a second I thought, did four kids flip off Colleen today? so do they get off because you forgot or are you going to surprise them with a very special Monday edition of flicking detention?

          • I’m 27 and look very young. Most of my students are much bigger than me. They all sort of assume I’m a pushover at first, but it takes them about 3 days to realize I don’t put up with any shit.

            There’s a grocery store across the street from my school. A couple of weeks ago, a boy asked for a bathroom pass and was gone for 30ish minutes. He returned with bags of cookies and chips from the store and tried to pass them out of the class. I was dumbfounded-he seriously took my bathroom pass and walked across the street and bought cookies for the whole damn class. Then tried to talk me out of writing him up for it. High school is a ridiculous place.

          • I guess just when you thought that there couldn’t be new lows in dumbness, Surprise!! Hello! I love stories like these, because, without this level of inspired dumbness and self belief humans would have gone extinct years ago.
            Solidarity in belief in unending human hope and dumbness. Keep on keeping on, Correctional Officer Colleen, keep handing out those tickets.

          • new lows in dumbness? damn, that’s harsh. teenagers are pretty solid humans. i don’t think it’s fair, even in jest, to compare a teacher to a correctional officer. i’ve also worked in high schools and arts centers in the Bronx so like I’m not coming from some sappy place either, ya know?

          • Gabrielle, this is funny for me because I am in a similar profession (nursing) where my professional role, like teaching, requires I provide support and feedback, to people presenting with problems all along the spectrum, from informed to uninformed to just plain stupid.

            The just plain stupid category normally involves providing primary care (first point of contact, accident and emergency public health care)to time wasters such as patients for whom recreational, and, dedicated alcohol and drug use have contributed to seeking clinical medical help.

            In my opinion, there are enough patients who are unintoxicated and making decent decisions with the support and resources that are available to them, seeking help, that should be entitled to get help, without the dumbarses who are intoxicated presenting to a public primary health care provider, sucking up taxpayer money, creating greater waiting times, preventing unintoxicated people finding timely care.

            So, I have a lot of sympathy, sighing, eye rolling, head shaking and going uh huh, for those whose professional role demands that equal taxpayer care and time are provided to time wasters, public service exploiters, people who don’t want help. Not sorry.

          • Gabrielle, comparing the dumbness of a kid in Colleen’s class who abused a toilet pass to cut school and buy food is probably not a fair comparison of time wasting with the intoxicated drink driving time wasters I see presenting for urgent primary care within the NZ public health care system.

            I mainly love stories of people who try, against all educated advice, against all informed advice, to do things their own way, and who (in Colleen’s student’s case, succeed).
            It is a form of equal parts dumbness, hope, and rebellion that is equally frustrating for those who have to manage the outcomes of dumb activities (Colleen as detention supervisor, and I as a nurse). I just had a cynical vision of Colleen being detention supervisor then I got the image of her as a correctional officer in Orange is the new black. Also, The Breakfast Club. So yeah, for me, time wasting of taxpayer money brings up mixed emotions.

          • Annalou, it’s disappointing to me that you view alcoholics as time wasters who don’t want help. Consider that there is very little by way of public health awareness about alcoholism as an illness, and that most health systems rely on AA as the sole basis of recovery – a spiritually based program that isn’t really appropriate for everyone. Perhaps these people do waste your time – but unlike the “legitimate” cases that show up on your doorstep, they receive only treatment for their symptoms, not their illness, with no attempt made by the healthcare profession to find another way. It’s rather frustrating from the other side of things, however annoying your time being lost may be.

    • This escalated very quickly.

      I guess my comments make me sound like a really mean teacher, but I’m not. I just make sure kids follow the rules because if you bend the rules once, they start going nuts (especially this time of year). I never yell because I really never find a reason to…and I’m in an urban shook with a bad reputation and I’ve never raised my voice. Teenagers do stupid things because they’re teenagers, and that doesn’t make them stupid. Remember being 16? It was rough.

      And for the record, the day of the cookies, we definitely ate them in class. At that point, class was nearly over and I said “you better enjoy those because I’m calling your mom later.” And his mom and I had a good laugh about it, and he returned from his week long detention saying he was a changed man. We’ve laughed about it every day since. Anytime someone asks for a bathroom pass someone is like “bring me back a snack”

      Sometimes I tell teaching stories and people are like “why don’t those kids take anything seriously?” Or “I can’t believe how bad they are, i hope they get in tons of trouble!” And really I’m saying “no, I’m telling you this because it’s hilarious.” When you spend every minute of your work day with teenagers, hilarious things happen.

      • Colleen, your story *is* funny. :) and for the record, I respect all humans, especially my fellow Straddlers, so my comment to Annalou was in the tone of a discussion. I’m a caregiver, RN student, and alcoholic. That comparison was very relevent to my life, so I addressed it. :)

        • But then, in light of your concern, perhaps I should have sent a private message about it to avoid it feeling like a confrontation, so I’d like to apologize to you both for my open critique of personal opinion, that wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.

        • Lolau,

          It is incredibly difficult for me, to have compassion for an intoxicated person, who is being treated side by side, in a public primary care system, for major trauma, that said intoxicated person’s intoxication caused, and say, 1-3 other patients whose vehicle and bodies received the brunt of intoxicated person’s vehicle impacting them. That is where I work, and this happens all too frequently.

          So that is my context… I find it hard to “just do my job” (but I do, and I treat everyone fairly), when the intoxicated perpetrator, and the victims of the intoxicated driver, all present in my area, side by side, for treatment. I have a lot of time for the victims, but very little in the way of respect, for any intoxicated perpetrators who are seeking care, and wasting taxpayer money.

          I have a lot of respect and time for people who are addicts and who want to recover.

          Also, I admire the balls and “god loves a trier”, dares of kids, but kind of once only. I like Colleen’s firm but fair teaching style that lets the kids know that the boundaries are there, and that the boundaries are consistent.
          I have a lot of time for people who want help.

      • Colleen, I didn’t mean to paint you as a monster, at all. I recently in the last week, watched Orange is the new black, the episode where the correctional officers are handing out tickets arbitrarily to anyone who is breathing, and that made me think that those folks are arseholes.

        The difference is you are not a correctional officer, you are giving the kids feedback on their behaviour when and where it is required, and they are lucky that you care enough to be firm with them to tell them that there are consistent boundaries. I am sorry for generalising.

  9. My most recent “oh fuck” moment was this morning, when I realized that it’s the first of the month and I hadn’t made arrangements to pay any bills. People like me are why auto-debit was invented, and yet I refuse to use it.

    And then there’s the fact that I injured myself like a dummy last night and now can’t work tonight. Makes me wish I hadn’t remembered what day it was :/

  10. No worries, Gabrielle, it’s 15:40 where I live, so you’re pretty much right on time. :) I have those moments pretty often, and I recover by fessing up, apologizing, and doin’ the damn thing. Sooo, just like you! :D

    I have had a pretty weird week. I got to take care of my three year old twin nephews and 6 year old niece all weekend, and we had a mothereffing blast – turns out, five pin bowling is age appropriate for everyone. It was really fun til my nephew missed the potty and peed all over both of us. I very apologetically told the guy who worked there that the soles of my rented shoes were soaked with urine, and offered to pay for them. He told me not to worry, they’d dry. 8|

    In other news, I’m getting used to my gluten/lactose intolerance and did my workout for the first time in 3 weeks!!!!!! I tried it on Tuesday and managed 6.5 minutes on the elliptical before needing to vomit. I went back the next day, made sure I ate more than an hour ahead, and I did it! WALK IN CRAWL OUT MOTHERFUCKERS! Ahem. I mean, it was a vigorous endeavor. I also learned something about myself – my routine is intense! I mean, it is really difficult. I’m so proud of my former self for getting to that level and I know I’ll get there again. :)

    Finally, I find myself insensibly daydreaming about a girl. Eenteresting.

    How are you, my peeps?

  11. This is my first comment here but I came out to my family a couple of weeks and today I had a really good talk with my mum about it and I feel really good about the whole thing. The “You Need Help: Coming Out In Your Mid/Late 20s” post and all the comments on it were so important and inspiring to me and I just wanted to say thanks.

    Somewhat embarrassingly, my realisation that I’m totally, completely gay also coincided with the week I had both tonsillitis and access to a free Netflix account so ended up marathoning all 70 episodes of The L Word in what started out as a laugh but quickly turned into some kind of terrifying endurance test.

  12. Today, I killed at a job interview, got invited to a second interview halfway through the first, and remembered to feed the dog I’m housesitting before I left for the day. Pretty sure I have ascended into infallible godhood, and these mistakes and forgetfulness you mere mortals speak of will never enter my life. ( Refuses to acknowledge the events of yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that, or that I forgot to bring my own coffee and had to buy starbucks)

  13. I once turned up at a hotel in Iceland and had a full-on redhead meltdown when I was told at the front desk that they had somehow lost my reservation, and they were asking quite a bit more than what I’d originally been quoted to secure a room for the night. I fumed and ranted to no avail, and swore I’d write them up in every hotel review site I could get my hands on. The next morning while flipping through my notebook I discovered that… I had actually reserved a room at an entirely different hotel.

  14. Today, I got tickets to see Fun Home on Broadway (again), but this time I’m taking my mother. I have an epic coming out planned for the post-show discussion/cry-fest. Coming out through Fun Home/Broadway/musical theatre = yes. I also met a cute girl last night who asked me out (!). And today I bought a watermelon.

    • I started watching Pretty Little Liars over spring break. I didn’t even know what it was about-It just came up as suggested on Netflix after watching The Fosters.

      I have watched 102 episodes in less than three weeks.

      • netflix really needs to start giving out frequent watcher points or some shit. cuz we are just killen it w/the binge watching. no shade. no shame.

        like heyyy, you watched 102 hrs of teevee recently, need some help w your laundry? maybe need some groceries or help taking a bath? with netflix points, we can send someone to help you do all those things for free!

    • Yea, like no one believed me. I would say that I watched 100 episodes and they would think it was hyperbole and I was like “no look, I finished all of these episodes.” I work 2 jobs, I have literally no idea how I did it.

  15. No real “oh fuck!” moments are springing to mind.

    First, this was amazing!!!

    View post on

    Second, Phoebe:

    I was supposed to run a marathon last Saturday. Due to lightning, they had to cancel it. They cancelled it when I was a little past the fifteen mile mark. I was briefly a bit upset, but after fifteen chilly and rainy miles I was ready to not be doing that anymore!

    Here was my gear, all laid out and ready the night before (minus the trash bag poncho):

    I had to have facial hair growth because I had an upcoming electrolysis appointment, but all of my running gear that is cute and cool weather friendly is pretty feminine, so I had to be in a sort of in-between gender state. I met up with some friends after the bus dropped me back by my car. I’m on the left in this picture, in the orange:

    The good news is that I have a girly butt… Because I had to have my facial hair grown out, I was using the men’s restroom at the restaurant. Some guy walked in while I was drying my hands and almost walked right back out. Someday soon this facial hair will be gone!

    I’m getting my first tattoo tomorrow! It’s going to be an outline of a heart in the trans pride colors, in a style where it looks like it was painted on in a single brush stroke. A magical, multicolored brush stroke! It was supposed to have 26.2 in it to celebrate my marathon, but that part is on hold for now. The artist is a trans man named Ainslie at a shop called Vintage Karma. Excitement!

    Things have been tough lately. I’ve been fighting depression and feeling isolated. I don’t know if I’m worried about trying for another marathon. The training was so intense and time consuming, I had to say “no” to so many social events. Electrolysis is going to be an every other week thing again, and that won’t leave me feeling too social. It’s tough. I just want the facial hair gone and to reconnect with my friends.

    There’s more, but this is already too long. I’ve missed you, gang. This site really does bring me so much joy, and I value the people and perspectives presented.

    • all hail girly butts. i have a girly ass too. and when i’m an elder, i hope that my behind is huge, like i let my grandchildren ride on it kinda of huge.

      hi devlin, that running outfit is cute. thanks for the pics. you are lovely.

      • Thank you! The growth of my rear has been one of the (many) exciting hrt developments. I believe that before, my butt had been described as “cute,” which is a great way to have it described, to be sure. It’s become a bit more substantial these days.

        Yoga pants.

    • Sorry to hear about the depression, it is such an awful monster. :(
      But yay for the tattoo tomorrow! That sounds awesome!
      Also, your dog is adorable. Animals can bring so much comfort when you’re feeling overwhelmed with life or lonely or blue.

      • Thank you, Phoebe is really great about being comforting.

        Yeah, the depression has been tough. I had a therapy session which was basically just me crying inconsolably for an hour. One of those where all of the comforting words couldn’t bring me out of it. Transitioning is just… A lot.

        I did reach out to some friends after the session, though. All of my crazy was fighting that urge, telling me “not to be a burden.” I’ve been feeling better, but it’s a climb.

    • It sounds like your life has been a lot of work. That’s good news, because you can downshift, or you can treat depression like a job to get better :) You’re super cute. And your hair is so long now!

      Question: since you are a woman with facial hair at times, why do you use the men’s room? There are indeed women who were assigned female at birth who grow facial hair – those with hypothyroidism, PCOS, etc. Is this a safety issue, or a self esteem thing? Personally, I think there’s no amount of facial hair that should keep you from the ladies room, because it just smells better in there. :)

      • Thank you for the kind words!

        It’s funny you ask about restrooms. Yeah, I guess it is a confidence thing. In my mind (for me) I always perceive myself as either male or female in appearance. I don’t handle the in between very well. When I’m forced to be out in the world in that in between state, it’s kind of freeing (especially when friends are around to gender me properly in front of others.) So if I’m presenting in a more masculine way, or have a beard, I usually go in the men’s room. But, I recently reached out to hr at work because I want to start asking people to change the pronouns they use about me, even if I appear more male in my day to day at the office. My hr rep thinks that if I do so, I should start using the ladies’ room as well.

        I want to, but I’m so worried about making other women uncomfortable.

        Maybe I’m just being silly/overly cautious.

        • It isn’t silly, it’s a lifetime of being in a misrepresentative body and all the social training that goes into that. I worry about making women uncomfortable, too, because I often dress very MOC, and I do get funny looks in the women’s room, but you know what? What they think of me is none of my business. And if they want to make it my business, I will respond as compassionately as I can that it is their problem, not mine. So far this hasn’t happened. :)

    • Also also also (!!!) show pics of this new tattoo when it happens because that is awesome! I am often teased for the quaint charm of my super obvious rainbow tattoo, but it makes me happy :D I’m so glad you’re having something like that placed on your body as Forever Pride, even on the days when you may not want it. It will remind you that, once upon a time, you were proud and happy with yourself, and that reassurance from a present/former self is honestly immeasurable. <3 You are inspiring.

    • Hey Devlin – bummer about the lost marathon opportunity! It is a LOT of training, and to be pulled out just when it gets … interesting, must have been annoying (rubbish weather notwithstanding). Yes – you should definitely go for it again: otherwise it will always be one of those things left un-done.
      Patience with the electrolysis – it will slide into being soon.

      • Thank you! Yeah, I do feel sad about doing all the training and not finishing. A friend said I should do a virtual race, which is a good idea, but I said that she had to ride her bicycle and give me Gatorade and gels like the volunteers during the actual race. She seemed amenable, so we’ll see.

        I know the electrolysis won’t go on forever. It just feels like it right now.

  16. Also, goddess save me, Express sent out 75% of coupons for amounts that are VERY easy to spend there. I need some more work clothes for when I am able to make the visual transition at work, and their slacks fit me…

  17. I just got out of the shower, put on the million creams my constantly ailing skin needs but I am too often too fcking lazy to use, felt pretty good about myself about having my shit together at the end of the week (submitted second thesis draft, check, made it through another episode of Grey’s, check)… then realised I didn’t use soap. Man. Also I know that there are 39482039 things I need/want to do before I leave and I KNOW I will not regret not getting on all that when it’s like time to pack my suitcases and stuff but rn I just wanna play games, y’know?

    • i love that you call them “games.” meanwhile they look like movies and involve military tactics, highly advanced weaponry, and scary as hell cyborg-gargoyle monsters.

      to me a game is like hopscotch or dominoes. like a moment where you can feel free and easy not terrified. but hey, ydy, fik, YDY.

  18. I recently forgot to do a time sheet for TWO WEEKS worth of work that was full of extra time put in, and that just can’t be good for the ol’ paycheck. Thankfully I got it sorted out, but still, shouldn’t my timesheets be on top of my priority list? Eek.

  19. I don’t have any specific “oh fuck” moments to share because I’m too goddamn happy about how my week has turned out! For the past year or so I’ve been struggling with severe depression, but I finally feel like I’ve been making tangible progress that can last. I’d almost forgotten what hope felt like until now.

  20. Just realized I have new dog fully groomed & bathed, dewormed, preventive meds started, vaccine records in order, registered with town, semi-socialized, and crate trained. BUT: I still have not managed to get a basic collar tag with name and phone #. After a month. Am I actually competent human?

    • Uuuuuuh I can’t even get myself fully groomed and bathed most days, the rest of that shit is incredible. How is not getting a collar tag deficient? Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self!

      • Oh this makes me feel so much better about an ongoing worry I have about forgetting to feed my second cat who is not food-orientated fridge slave like my first cat.

        I get up at 6am and feed both of them, although if second cat is not there at 6am I still put his food out, anyway, right in the path of first cat fridge slave, who normally sifts over and vacuums his way through it, though I am getting a lot better about putting the food where first cat can’t get it bc he is too lazy to jump on the bench, and he hasn’t figured out yet how to take the lid off the food tray, so there’s that. Normally second cat is around at 6am so I can go to work content in the knowledge that they both have food in their tummies.

        I consider myself a Cat Mother so this is a real and ongoing concern for me and my cats.

        So far (it is Saturday here in NZ, I’ve slept in after a nursing day of hell yesterday (read overworked, understaffed, challenging but we pulled through as a team and supported each other thank god I work in a great team), til 1130am, have had 3 coffees, and I’ve forgotten to eat breakfast, but have made inroads into housework, and patted cat 1 and 2. Also made plans to rent my large 4 car garage as storage space (laziest business spinner ever) and I need to check on my gf’s house as she is out of town this week. I can’t forget that. I am good at being lazy and unstructured :)

        • my feeding philosophy is I am consistent, you eat up if you want it. New dog semi-understands (moderated by some anxiety issues we’re working through) and has lost out on a few meals. I may have to switch her feeding schedule to three daily instead of two daily, gah. So much more complicated with two beasts. Original dog: “I’ll eat it! I”ll eat it!” Human: “there will be no conflict over food. YOUR room for eating. HER room for eating.” *conflict between two extra large dogs being terrible, and even more terrible in a 400 sq foot cottage. To be honest, new dog might not care that much, though I don’t want to find out if my stop command would be effective.

          • consistency IS the key. Animals are so like kids, when there is more than one of them to take care of and share things between.

            I got both of my neutered male cats from the SPCA (animal shelter) together, though in their previous life they hadn’t lived together. So let’s just say day to day living is an ongoing fragile balance, often damaged by the most benign things. But I absolutely love them. Your dogs are lucky too! This column is about forgetfulness :)

    • i knock on wood almost every day. so far the jinxes have stayed tf away from me. so get to knocking. also, look at you being adventurous and romantic and hella cute/nervous. i want to give you such a hug. are you going to show up with flowers and a squeaky country song? or with a hunk of good cheese and a box of the classiest wine? or all of those things?

  21. I always forget to pay for my staff meals at work! It’s the worst, I leave without paying and sometimes I won’t remember until the next time I work. I worry they think I do it on purpose, but really I’m an airhead.

    Also, I forgot that my credit card expires this month! This is my first credit card, and I’m not sure if this will fuck up my bills or not. I had to call my Dad to figure out what this all meant and what I had to do. It made me feel real adult.

    Hope everyone has a good weekend! I’m working all weekend, but I’m hoping to do something outside of work. Love!!

    • Work places should feed their people. Idk it just makes sense. Rich people with fancy ass jobs have per diem and comped business lunches n sh*t. Let’s just make free lunch a thing that everyone can have forever.

      oh and yay credit cards! be careful tho. don’t buy any boats or anything, unless you’re ballin’ like that then buy me a boat too.

      • I get a 50% discount, so that’s a thing! Sometimes I can get a free meal if I win a contest or something. I feel like I should get a free meal tho! I’m usually there for breakfast and lunch that’s two meals I miss when working unless I buy something!

        I wish I was ballin’ enough to buy a boat for us both. I’m usually pretty careful with it! But I do have times when I go a bit crazy.

    • I work in a gift shop around the holidays and sometimes we put on jewelry to wear for our shift and then put it back in the case at the end. I’ve definitely seen people walk out of work wearing really expensive jewelry that they just forgot to put back!

  22. I don’t often comment but I too had one of those weeks… The other day at work (at a fairly new job) I was making tofu for our co-op’s board meeting. Instead of putting the garlic and ginger into the marinade I’d mixed, I threw it in the maple syrup (real maple syrup… sooo expensive) and put it on the tofu and put the tamari/mirin/brown rice vinegar mix in the fridge with the maple syrup top. I sent the tofu to the board meeting and only realized what I’d done when the baker screamed after she put the “maple syrup” in her apple crisp. Oof. Thank goodness we could all just laugh about it and so far no complaints from the board about excessively sweet tofu…

  23. Okay, I will attempt to repost the comment that I actually posted earlier this morning from my phone that the internet apparently ate. :(

    I can’t think of any noteworthy “oh fuck” stories at the moment, though I’ve certainly had plenty. I can DEFINITELY relate to that awful “wave of fear” that you’re describing – rippling through your body and chest and head until your fingers tingle. It’s the worst.

    I do have interesting dreams. And vivid dreams. I dream in color too, and I remember very specific colors from my dreams. Sometimes I see a color the next day and it actually brings back a very specific memory of a dream. Last’s night’s dreams involved zombies and planting daffodils and cherry trees in my city and moving to Alaska and skiing, all somehow tied together. The zombie part wasn’t scary though – it felt almost as if I was playing a part in a movie, and it was actually pretty fun. And then my alarm clock rudely went off at 4:30. Oh, the joys of the early morning shift.

    This past week, I read one of the best books ever, “Annie On My Mind” and I feel as though I’ve crossed some sort of literature milestone. So many FEELINGS! I mean, it isn’t the first queer book I’ve read, but it’s the one that impacted me the most deeply.

    I read 95% nonfiction, because fiction doesn’t generally hold my interest very much. But I found myself, a nervous baby-dyke, relating to the characters on such a beautiful level. I nearly started crying during the part at the end where Liza and Annie and Ms. Stevenson and Ms. Widmer were having lunch together. And when Liza gave Ms. Stevenson a hug, I wanted to reach through the book and hug her too!

    It’s like I repeatedly came out to myself over the course of the book. Does that make any sense? It was at once scary and beautiful and freeing and terrifying. I kept thinking “This is me. I’m one of you. Am I actually admitting it? Yes. YES. And it’s okay!”

    I think when I come out to my parents, I’ll give them this book to read.

    Anyway. That was off the topic of this thread, but I wanted to share.

    Does anyone have any other reading recommendations?

    • “Annie on My Mind” was the first queer book I read – my then best friend (who I had a bit of a crush on) and I read it together, as in, we both read at the same time from the same book … And then she had to go home and I begged her to let me keep it that night so I could finish it, and she did. I had the exact same coming out to myself process you did with it! In a similar vein, “Keeping You A Secret” was the second queer book I read and it also made me feel all the feelings.

    • ah! annie on my mind! that was one of my early early books I read in my babygayness when I was like 16! so formative! A friend of mine has cool harriet the spy tattooes, I would one hundo percent get annie on my mind tattooes if there were like, cool illustrations (like harriet the spy).

      I think I remember I liked Gravel Queen? And Oranges are not the only fruit, if you can roll with some magical realism and strong Biblical allegory. The queer YA genre has blown up in the last 10 years, and I loooooooove it, but I also read them real fast so have a hard time remembering distinct books. My friend likes Grasshopper Jungle if you’re into dystopian queer YA fiction. If I’m not reading anything in particular I cull through the lesbrary. I would not recommend Julie Ann Peters’ stuff, personally.

      Um, it’s sort of dorky, but there’s an author Mabel Maney and she has these series about Nancy Clue and one about Jane Bond and they are silly campy genre books, that read in a way that’s similar to YA, if you have any affection for Nancy Drew or James Bond, and everruhbuddy is gay.

  24. This week I decided to turn my life over to the Lord. And by “The Lord” I am obviously referring to Dragon Age Inquisition. What am I doing with my life? I have accomplished exactly nothing this week because I am addicted to this game. I still can’t get Sera to fall in love with me yet and I have tried everything. If anyone has tips help a sister out.

    • bring her along when you go to new areas and flirt with scout harding. she’s into that. ;) that’ll give you a few extra approval boosts.

      while the initial relationship itself is approval-locked (when she likes you enough she’ll respond positively to whatever your heart conversation option says), if I remember correctly, the Love Stuff can only come after (1) enough approval AND (2) main story progression.

      obviously she likes pranks and fun stuff and hates demony crap and nobles. make sure to complete her war table missions the way she wants or you’ll lose out on approval.

      good luck! josie won my heart but sera’s romance path was more complex and rewarding imo.

  25. I’m about to graduate this month and I landed by first big girl job this week! I signed my acceptance letter today and everything. To celebrate, I’m going to become an A+ member when I get my first paycheck. :D

  26. Hey everyone!!! How are you! I’m great, a liiiiittle tired but still chugging along. LOL. SO. How was everyone’s week!! Our hair still looks amazing people! Amazing!!

    Once I was SO out of it I went to school without a bra. HIGH SCHOOL. Man it was like almost lunch and I’m doing something and I go OMG MY BRA IS MISSING HOW MANY HOURS HAS IT BEEN (in my head of course) I was lucky I had my girl scout uniform on that day and a shirt underneath. Unlucky because that dress was so damn fugly I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU. We looked like walking tomatillos it was so green.

    This week I’m super late to the part because of life in general. I tinted my car’s tail lights. The back looks VERY clean now especially since I took off the badges. I still have the front to do i.e grille install and headlight change. Hoping it will all be done before this month!! Exciting!

    Tomorrow is ‘the fight of the century’ Mayweather vs Pacquiao and my parents are arriving from 3 weeks in the Philippines. YOU GUYS I survived 3 weeks on my own. Really, I made kebabs and salmon and THIS IS ADULTING I THINK. And my wife went to my parents without me there and OMG it went better than we expected. My dad started talking about how she visited and brought him cake on his birthday over the phone and it was so cute. LOL.

    My masterpieces (??) I didn’t add tomatoes to the kebabs I know because I don’t really like tomatoes! Tomorrow I attempt lasagna. Hopefully I can get it semi right???

    IS THIS THE REAL LIFE. IS THIS JUST FANTASY. This is how Andy sleeps with her/his mom. (My wife thinks Andy may really be a boy???? She said she saw a questionable ding-a-ling ??) Whatever, Andy goes either way. =D

  27. I just want to tell you that this made me laugh and I love you

    and also that the thing is, gabby, i have THE WORST WEIRDEST DREAMS about FORGETTING THAT IMPORTANT THING I HAD TO DO. like off the top of my head i cannot think of a recent time that something has slipped my mind like that but i can think of 56 times it’s happened in a weird dream.

    bringing it back around since 2007,

      • ME TOO! that’s what they’re usually about, is missing a class, like it’s exam day and I haven’t attended class the entire semester and i’m like, fuck what the hell am i gonna do, how can i take this, will i get an incomplete.? and it’s almost always math.

  28. Oh I have too many “oh fuck” moments to name. Most of them have to do with my job or stupid things I’m supposed to do, like make a physical therapy appointment.

    The worst of the most recent moments happened last Friday. My sister and I were road tripping down to Nashville for a concert, and we got about halfway there (about a 4.5 hour drive) and I was like “Oh fuck, did I remember to grab the tickets?” I had to stop at the next rest area and check my bag three times to make sure that I had them. Luckily I did, and the concert was amazing.

    I also had an “oh fuck” moment where I thought I was over being incredibly attracted to someone I shouldn’t be, and I saw them out and about and realized that I wasn’t. That one wasn’t a fun one. Now this person keeps popping up in my dreams. So yeah. Fun times. :(

  29. Sooo I haven’t had one of those moments in a long time. I’m overdue and I probably just jinxed myself. However – I had a nightmare about this kind of moment last night. I’m in my last quarter of grad school (and last quarter of school EVER – yay!) and I dreamt I enrolled in a relatively easy literature class to introduce some fun into my otherwise boring schedule. And apparently, dream-Katie forgot she enrolled and didn’t go to any of the classes. She magically remembered the midterm for the class though, and a good chunk of my dream was dream-Katie sprinting across the idyllic spring campus to this midterm. But props to dream-Katie, because she passed this literature midterm with flying colors.

    Dream-Katie has her shit together. Meanwhile, I’ve been drawing poorly planned comics about depression/job search hell. This is all I have to contribute this week.

  30. Yesterday when I looked at AS on mah phone this here FOT was up and had one of those self depreciating chuckles cause I thought to myself ha That Oh Fuck Moment, aka story of my life. Oh how wrong I found myself to be that evening.

    I grew up with stomach migraines, some times called cyclic vomiting. My experience(s) with involuntary regurgitation are only rivaled by sufferers of hyperemesis gravidarum, chemo patients and kids who had the worst edition of my childhood condition.
    Last night I had new experience.
    Getting puke up my nose.
    Had that new experience twice, second time was the worst because puke made its way so far up my nasal passage I coughed some of it up with a glob of snot.
    Different Toilet Height+Surprisingly Watery Vom= Worst Splash Ever
    (DTH+SWV)Super Snotty Sneeze O Doom= Worst Puke Of My Experienced 23 Years
    Also tears because acid, stomach acid which also got on my face and feels kinda like a chemical burn.

    Story of my life would be more like: Well Shit That Was Awful, Survived Still Alive

    One good thing I learned last night was neosporin soothes the burning sensation of having had puke in a tender place it don’t belong, like nostrils for example. And how far up a q-tip will go up a nose before it gets uncomfortable.

    Here’s picture of my dog as pup

    She nannied me all night into the morning with the foster pup assisting as a guarding assistance.
    Foster pup has fleas despite being on a something that’s suppose to prevent and kill fleas. Also she had a flea bath, nothing seems to take dude.
    Anybody got a suggestion? Cause itchy little baby creatures are so saaaad y’all.

  31. Well. This thread has jinxed me. I just had 2 “oh shit…” moments today at work. Within the same hour! They worked out ok in the end, but they did make my coworkers’ lives more difficult. :( And now I feel like an obnoxious human.

    At least it’s my Friday!

  32. I had one of these this morning before I headed off to work–I realized that I never grabbed the glassware out of the autoclave like I told my PI I would the previous night, so at 6:45am on a Saturday, I was running into the science building like I was preventing the apocalypse to get the glassware before anyone realized the autoclave had been left on all night (also hopefully avoiding any blame on my person for when the autoclave inevitably breaks today or tomorrow because it’s a terrible, terrible piece of equipment that breaks over once a month and direly needs to be replaced).

    Yes, I managed to get the stuff out of the autoclave, and to my knowledge nobody has noticed. And I wasn’t even late for my first day at work this season, so that was good, especially since I was super nervous and was like “did I forget how to steer a raft? oh god I think I forgot how to guide a raft. I really might have forgotten how to do this because I have forgotten how to give a safety talk so yes please terrify the custies with your unnecessary class V talk mike since one other coworker refuses and the other nobody trusts to do an adequate job of it”.

    (I did not forget how to guide and had a good day despite some pretty epic sunburn on the back of ONE of my hands. Just the one. It’s going to leave a ridiculous tan line and this happens at the beginning of EVERY SEASON because I forget to pun sunscreen on my hands when I’m wearing long sleeves and I should know better than that 4 years in to this.)

    (I also got a really nice tip so that made my day.)

  33. Like Riese, I tend to dream more about forgetting important stuff than actually forget it in real life. But last night I did not dream about forgetting stuff, I dreamt that I found out Beyoncé was the one who got me admitted to grad school. She just happened to come across my application and was like YES! and then my school obviously had to accept me, because Beyoncé. Further proof that Beyoncé = Goddess.

  34. Guys I’ve been internet deprived for a week and then my flight was super delayed and then late getting in and then I had to go to work on Saturday super early and then I was DONE and now it’s Sunday so basically I forgot open thread too…

    I just want to say I have missed Autostraddle so much this week in as I have been in heteronormative hell on “holiday” with aforementioned no internet access and lots of fear (still unpacking and processing all my feelings). Good to be back.
    Hope you’ve had a great weekend.

  35. I have not revised how to calculate simple things for my chemistry exam in less than a week. I thought I knew them. How wrong I was. At least I know the hard stuff I guess? Hmph.

    can anyone explain to me how to calculate concentrations and moles?

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