Feature image courtesy of Fox
Cupid’s Big Day Out is upon us, which means of course that I have tracked down ten Valentine’s Day-themed femslash stories to carry you through the weekend. There’s something for everyone here. Brittany and Santana playing around with a whole lot of kinks! Marceline melting you into a puddle of swoony goop with her love for Princess Bubblegum! T’Pring chomping down on Valentine’s Day cards because nothing says “Vulcan” like literally eating your feelings!
I hope your VDay is as gay as this post.
Sick Day by mustdefine
Pairing: Emma/Regina, Once Upon a Time
Plot: Regina takes care of Emma when she’s sick ’cause she’s a big ol’ softy Evil Queen.
Length: 6,000 words
Her second text is to Regina. It takes her three tries to compose something that makes any sense. Can’t pick up Henry today, can you take him for the weekend? Emma pushes the phone away the moment she finishes typing and buries her head in her pillow. She hears the phone slide off the edge of the bed and drop to the floor, but she can’t muster the energy to care, much less retrieve it when it buzzes a few minutes later. She’ll regret the missed opportunity to stuff her son full of discount Valentine’s Day candy over the next few days (and, okay, maybe give French toast another try, preferably without setting anything on fire this time). But she is definitely not up to the task of taking care of another human being right now. Dying, though. Dying’s definitely on the very short list of things she is capable of doing. She tries to go over that very short list just to make sure everything’s in order, but she keeps losing track of where she is, which makes for a rough couple hours of maybe-sleep.
Cupid’s Chokehold by lit_chick08
Pairing: Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Game of Thrones (AU)
Plot: Cupid hits Sansa and Margary with his arrows, which is a lot better than having Joffrey aim his crossbow at you.
Length: 1,200 words
When she gets off the train Friday afternoon, Sansa wears the skimpy lingerie beneath the outfit it took entirely too much time to pick out, her hair pulled into a fishtail braid Val did before rushing to class. Margaery is waiting, looking far more attractive in winter wear than any person has a right to, and Sansa inhales sharply through her nose when Margaery kisses her right there on the platform, her hot mouth a sharp contrast to the biting wind. When Margaery pulls back, Sansa surreptitiously glances around to see if anyone is watching them and discovers no one is looking at them.
some schematics showing me your front to back and in between by Shadowcrawler
Pairing: Jemma/Skye, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Plot: Simmons nerds out on Skye on Valentine’s Day.
Length: 2,500 words
Jemma can rattle off the neurological and biochemical effects of being in love with someone, and how being in love is highly beneficial for one’s health and well-being, without a problem. She can hypothesize about the sociological effects of the romantic tropes that popular fiction utilizes, even on those who insist that they don’t subscribe to those ideals. But she’s not very good at talking about her actual feelings. Especially for a culturally mandated event like Valentine’s Day. She hasn’t had to worry about it too much before, as even when she had someone special in the past, they never put much emphasis on the event. As her previous relationships were generally with fellow scientifically-oriented people, they had both agreed that the day was completely ridiculous and best ignored. But now she has Skye, and she feels like that makes it different.
My Heart in your Eyes by weepingnaiad
Pairing: Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Marvel CMU
Plot: Natasha thinks she’s too hard for Valentine’s Day but that’s because she’s never celebrated it with Pepper before.
Length: 1,600 words
Natasha recognized the warmth from a spike of adrenaline shooting through her blood. It was the same as when she readied for a fight, but with one difference: her stomach was never in knots and she never blushed. Ever. But she was now. She blamed Clint for that. For this. He was the one that had dragged her away from her former life, brought her into SHIELD, given her a home and a family. People to love. It had to be Clint’s fault that Natasha had these feelings now, and not sisterly ones for Pepper, either.
Ladylike Pursuits by Gamma_Orionis
Pairing: The witches of Harry Potter
Plot: Valentine’s Day drabbles for nearly every Femslash pairing in the history of Hogwarts.
Length: 2,000 words
“I understand,” Luna said softly. “You don’t want her to know about me.”
“About us,” Ginny said quietly. “I don’t want her to know about us.”
Luna pushed herself up to her knees and kissed Ginny on her cheek. Her lips were soft and warm and gentle, and Ginny turned her head so that Luna’s mouth met hers. She held the kiss for a moment, tracing Luna’s lower lip with the tip of her tongue, then she pulled back.
“I’ll tell her someday,” she promised Luna, and Luna nodded.
It glows and it flows and your fire breaks through by el_em_en_oh_pee
Pairing: Santana and Brittany, Glee
Plot: Brittany and Santana celebrate Valentine’s Day with some hardcore kink.
Length: 4,500 words
“Hands back,” Brittany tells Santana, straddling her waist, the tough denim of Britt’s jeans brushing against the skin of Santana’s stomach, Britt’s long blonde hair tickling Santana’s chest as she leans forward and takes one of Santana’s wrists and carefully slips a cuff over it, closing it gently yet decisively, and moving Santana’s arm back up over her head so that she can move the chain of the cuffs behind a slat in Santana’s headboard and attach the other end to Santana’s other wrist. “I’ve got you where I want you now,” she tells Santana, smirking her perfect fucking little Brittany smirk.
Mahogany Cake with Fudge Frosting by vassalady
Pairing: Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Agent Carter
Plot: Angie makes Peggy a cake for Valentine’s Day. (Spoiler alert: It’s not a cake.)
Length: 1,500 words
Angie started talking before Peggy could say anything. “Tomorrow’s Valentine’s, you know, and I don’t have anyone to send a card to, and I didn’t think you did either, so I thought, hey, why not a cake? I actually made this for my first boyfriend several years ago, but ma, she didn’t think I should.” Angie shrugged a shoulder as she talked. Although she could talk for long stretches without interruption, there was a nervous edge to her chatter. “I mean, the war wasn’t on yet, but he was German, and even with a lot of pro-German support still, ma thought it was a bit much, you know, an Italian girl and a German boy? Anyway, it didn’t really turn out then, but I’ve gotten a lot better.” Angie grinned and nudged Peggy’s shoulder. “Go on, try it.”
kiss quick by FreshBrains
Pairing: Allison Argent/Lydia Martin, Teen Wolf
Plot: Pure unadulterated Valentine’s Day fluff!
Length: 500 words
Allison closed the bathroom door, but left it open a crack—she would never admit it out loud, but when they got back to Allison’s house after a long day of fighting baddies with the boys, Allison was a little protective of Lydia. She liked having her close. As she rubbed her hair dry with a fluffy towel, she called, “Just don’t use all my Herbal Essences, you hate that raspberry smell.”
The shower turned off and Allison heard Lydia’s hair drip onto the tile. Lydia opened the door, wrapped in Allison’s pink bathrobe. “No, I hate the smell of it in my hair. It’s perfect on you. Besides, we can’t be those girlfriends who smell like each other.”
cherry pits by oktavia
Pairing: Marceline/Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Plot: Marceline is determined to crush Valentine’s Day this year, in a good way.
Length: 1,000 words
Marceline was many things, but thoughtful and romantic weren’t typically the first things she would consider herself. When she remembered the way Bonnibel had stared at her last Valentine’s Day, wide-eyed with silent contempt, at the live five-pound gummy worm she had painstakingly boxed and stapled a big blue bow to, she decided that romantic was probably the last thing she was. It sang, was her defense, and she gave the giant rainbow-colored worm a shake. Sure enough, it did sing, but it was a power ballad by some big-hair glamrock band Marceline was into lately. Bonnibel wasn’t moved in the slightest.
All That Glitters is a Threat to Public Health and Therefore Banned by katiemariie
Pairing: T’Pring/Nyota Uhura, Star Trek (Movies)
Plot: T’Pring eats the Valentine’s Day card Uhura gives to her because: Vulcans.
Length: 500 words
“I apologize. However, is it not Human custom to imbibe the candy hearts one receives as part of the St. Valentine’s Day festivities?”
“Yes, but that wasn’t a candy heart. It was paper.” Uhura has to admit, in the taste department, they probably weren’t too different.
“I see.” T’Pring quirks her head to the side. “If it was not meant to be eaten, then why was it covered with sprinkles?”
Happy Valentine’s Day, love muffins! Share your favorite ooey gooey fics with me in the comments!
Please tell me the HP one includes Hermione/Parvati? Ever since the scene on the stairs The Goblet of Fire movie they’ve held a special place in my heart.
Oh, wow. I had totally forgotten about that scene until right this second.
OMG THAT’S A GENIUS PAIRING
Boy, that Cartinelli ship is already in full force, isn’t it?
It only takes a second!
I made a Peggy Carter Valentine’s card.
Ha! That’s amazing!
I tried to resist but it’s the most shippable thing I’ve come across in a long time! They are made for each other! <3
In the most recent episode of Agent Carter, A Sin to Err, it felt like a goodbye kiss was going to happen. It almost almost almost felt like queer bait.
I rarely ship out of feels, but damn Angie and Peggy have chemistry.
I’ve been waiting for something Swan Queen to post… my wife is a huge Swan Queen shipper and I want to send her the links. :) I was a bit disappointed with this, though. Not only was it extremely tame and lacking any type of romance or heat, but it also seemed to less polished and developed than some of the other stuff that has posted here. I know I could just scour the internet but I’m a) lazy, b) afraid of what I might run in to out there, and c) looking for the Autostraddle stamp of approval. Anyone have any links or recommendations?
There is some really bad SwanQueen out there, but also some gold! Kinda depends what you’re after, but these authors both do a really good job of keeping Emma and Regina in character which is really important to my enjoyment of any SwanQueen piece :)
Thank you! :)
No worries!! Also when you find a writer you like, if you see what stories they have read you can normally find similarly good fics!
Lovely as always Heather! <3 <3 <3
Also, I'm just over here raring to go with suggestions whenever you decide to do a Rizzles fanfic Friday.
Am I the only one who’s weirded out by the regular inclusion of underage characters in these?As this website is normally so sensitive to healthy sex, I’m kind of disappointed in Autostraddle. It’s not okay to be sexualising teenage girls like this in a column aimed towards adults.