Faking It Episode 209 Recap: Heartbroken and Angry and Really Really Drunk

Welcome to the ninth recap of the second season of Faking It, a show about zucchini and all the fun things you can do with zucchini! Faking It comes to you from the same network that brought you my favorite television show of all time, I Want A Famous Face.


We open in Amy’s bed, the morning after what seems to have been a resplendent evening of joy and laughter, perhaps involving nudity, scissoring, fisting, finger-blasting, clam-diving and square dancing.

Why yes I DO feel like the prettiest princess and I would like a bagel, thank you for asking

Why yes I DO feel like the prettiest princess and I would like a bagel, thank you for asking

Reagan points out that although it’s a good morning, this morning’s got nothing compared to last night. HEY-O! Probably Amy and Reagan had microwave popcorn and orange juice from Walgreens for dinner last night, I know the feeling, it’s pretty hard to top that kind of action. Amy says last night was “educational.” At the very least it was probably an entertaining follow-up to How To Have Lesbian Sex 101.

GIRRRRRRRLLLLSSSSSSS FINGEEEERRRINNNNGGGG

GIRRRRRRRLLLLSSSSSSSEXXXXXXXXX

Reagan gets up looking like she’s the visual aid for “Sexy” in the lesbian dictionary — she tosses on her gauzy white tee and badass leather jacket and says she’s catering a women’s golf invitational that very day and would Amy like to join her? But before Amy can say, “yes, I’ll attend that lesbian orgie,” she snatches her phone off the nightstand and discovers Liam’s “SHE KNOWS” text message.

Holy Jesus I can't believe these people who don't seem to understand that Autostraddle can't survive without financial support from its readers!

Wait, seriously? “School is not authentic because it ends”? What are these kids talking about?

Amy explains her sudden panic and nausea as a reaction to Karma reminding her of a test she’s gonna fail. Reagan tells Amy she’s a “fast learner” and should be okay. WINK WINK.


Then we FINALLY reach the location where life truly happens — the gorgeous green grounds of Hester Blue Corn Moon High School For Hashtag Hippies, where Penelope’s setting up a day-long All-School Exercise Game Civilization Social Experiment Situation that’ll probably teach everybody a lesson about how oppressed they aren’t.

Ugh, don't those kids realize I'm never joining the Glee Club?

Ugh, don’t those kids realize I’m never joining the Glee Club?

Shane’s surlier than usual, and Lauren wants to know why: well, it’s ’cause Shane had to “break up with his trainer” over “different fitness philosophies” but he’s sure that his “trainer” will text him back ANY minute now to get “back together.” Lauren’s got no worries in the world ’cause last night in the SCENE THEY DIDN’T LET US SEE, Lauren told Theo she was intersex and he said “all the right things.” Yay!

Then Amy shows up, looking wrecked. You know the real tragedy here is that “the morning after the first time she had lesbian sex” has now become “the worst morning of her life.” Tragedy is about to wipe that sweet sweet scent right off her fingertips.

EVERYBODY RUN I JUST SPOTTED THE MARSHMALLOW MAN AND HE'S HEADED THIS WAY

EVERYBODY RUN I JUST SPOTTED THE MARSHMALLOW MAN AND HE’S HEADED THIS WAY

Amy: Have either of you seen Karma?
[Silence of Nope]
Amy: I need to find her. She knows about me and Liam.
Shane and Lauren, to Amy: She knows?
Shane and Lauren, to each other: You know?
Amy: Can we please stay focused here?
Shane: Sorry.
Lauren: What can we do to help?

Shane helpfully points out that at least they’re in public, so when Karma murders her bestie, there’ll be heaps of witnesses (thus guaranteeing a really boring episode of Law & Order). Lauren helpfully points out that if she was Karma, being in public wouldn’t stop her from “going all Solange in an elevator on your ass.” But before they can get too deep into Amy’s despair, Principal Penelope Delia Fisher’s music blasts across the campus-wide loudspeakers and then she takes the mike, asking “Are you ready to role-play??!” No, not THAT kind of role-play, you pervs.

I made up this word all by myself !!!!

I made up this word all by myself !!!!

She explains that today all the students will be assigned to various groups within an imaginary civilization and that this will somehow be educational. Meanwhile, Karma arrives on school grounds, looking pissed. Amy rushes over to Karma, looking panicked/wrecked. Karma asks if it’s true. Amy says “yes.”

This locker is very warm. There must be a lava lamp inside of it

This locker is very warm. There must be a lava lamp inside of it. Will you come check with me?

Karma purposefully walks over to Amy — is she about to slap Amy in the face?

Nope.

Maybe later we could do this naked

Maybe later we could do this naked

Karma hugs Amy and says, “I’m sorry. Sorry that you had to go through it alone.”

Are you packing? Something feels funny.

Are you packing? Something feels funny.

Amy is confused. SO ARE WE.


Cut to the girls standing in line for their Hesteria assignments. Karma’s basically decided that the whole thing is Liam’s fault, because Amy would never betray her like that, RIGHT AMY?

Karma: Amy, this isn’t your fault. The only person to blame here is Liam fucking Booker. He took advantage of you the one time you were the most vulnerable!

Amy says she wanted to tell Karma sooner but —

Karma: Liam forced you not to! I knew it. He’s such a master manipulating monster, I can’t believe it took me this long to see it.

My orders were clear: All Men Must Die.

My orders were clear: All Men Must Die.

Before Amy can get a word in, they reach the front of the line and are assigned districts. Amy’s a Cloudspinner — they’re in charge and their word is law. So basically she’s a cis het white guy. Karma’s a Raindweller. Raindwellers serve the Cloudspinners, so basically she’s everybody else. Also, each Cloudspinner gets their own personal Raindweller slave! Amy insists that Penelope let her and Karma switch roles because DUH AMY IS TOTALLY A BOTTOM. No I think it’s ’cause the idea of Karma “serving” her on a day when Karma should be yelling at her makes Amy’s stomach hurt even more than it already does.

Now we have free sheets to have period sex on!

Hell yeah we’re gonna have period sex on these free sheets.


Elsewhere in the line-up, Liam is telling Shane that he just wants Karma to know that it meant nothing when he had sex with Amy. He was heartbroken and made a big fat mistake, that’s all! But Shane’s more worried about what Karma’s gonna do to Amy — until they cast their eyes cross-campus and spot Karma helping Amy put on her Splash Mountain poncho. “If Karma forgave Amy, maybe she’ll forgive me too,” opines Liam’s hair products.

The lady at Babeland promised me this poncho was 100% squirt-resistent

This looks SO good on you and plus the lady at Babeland promised me this poncho was 100% squirt-resistant!

Penelope assigns Liam and Shane to Team Mudmover, “scum of the earth, basically.”

Liam: Sounds about right.

Meanwhile, Lauren’s furious about being assigned to Team Mudmover and is even MORE furious when she spots her man — who’s been assigned to the Firedancer Police Squad — playing with a girl named Brandy and a giant phallic object. Brandy’s really pretty and tells Lauren that she and Theo are gonna go splitsies on a pot brownie.

Nerf Guns: Fun For The Whole Family And All Your Friends!!!!!!

Nerf Guns: Fun For The Whole Family And All Your Friends!!!!!!

Lauren says Theo’s not a stoner loser burnout like Brandy and will obviously take Lauren up on her offer for him to switch outfits with Leila and therefore become a Mudmover who can hang out with Lauren all day, but Theo says he’s gonna stick with his assignment. DUM DUM DUM.

Did he just say (CAPTION)

Did he just say Kate Moennig and Evan Rachel Wood BROKE UP?


Liam catches up with Karma and Amy but Karma’s not having it — she tells him to stay FAR AWAY from her and Amy.

Hey hey wait for me I brought the shovels and the water wings!

Hey hey wait for me I brought the shovels and the water wings!

Then she uses her CLOUDSPINNER POWERS to get the Firebrandspinstars to remove Liam from the premises. Liam is warned that should any Cloudspinner suffer a Nerf gun related injury by his hands this fine day, he’ll be sent to the basement to watch abstinence films all afternoon, as mandated by the state of Texas.

This civilization is going full matriarchy, bro. Now make like a mansplainer and leave.

This civilization is going full matriarchy, bro. Now make like a mansplainer and leave.


So Liam retires to a nice outdoor table, where he can text Karma over and over and over again.

Liam: Karma can’t ignore me forever, if I keep up my texting barrage, she’ll have to respond eventually.
Shane: You know, maybe she’s not getting your texts. None of my texts seem to be coming through either! I’m thinking there’s a sun flare?

I have a coupon code for GrubHub and I know you want it

I have a coupon code for GrubHub and I know you want it

Well the only sun flare around here is Amy the Raincloudbubble, who, on Karma’s orders, has arrived to decree that all Mud-movers must give up their phones because some of them can’t control their “TEXT-ual impulses.” GET IT? Liam’s livid that Amy’s been forgiven and he’s still in the doghouse.

Fine, don't believe me? I'll show you, there aren't any mediums in stock.

Fine, don’t believe me? I’ll show you RIGHT NOW that there aren’t ANY mediums in stock.

Liam: Why is Karma forgiving you and blaming me? What did you tell her?
Amy: I’m not the one who’s been saying things I shouldn’t. You swore you’d never tell.
Liam: I’m sorry I broke that promise. But this isn’t fair. We both wanted to hurt Karma that night, and you know it. You’re letting me take the fall. I thought you had more integrity than that.

This’s fair, but Karma’s also sporting a really fucked-up method of conflict resolution by not pressing Amy for answers but feeding them to her instead. Lauren’s also unhappy this afternoon, and gets in a tiff with Brandy about whether or not Theo prefers “brownie” or “blondie.” Lauren Head Bitch In Charge cannot abide this slow-moving conflict.

I'll see your nerf gun and raise you a luggage rack

I’ll see your nerf gun and raise you a luggage rack

Lauren, incensed, hits up the boys for backup.

Lauren: We need to break into the Cloudspinner’s Lair. Liam, you need your phone so you can talk to Karma. Shane, you need your phone so you can stare at it pathetically until Duke texts, and I need to keep Theo away from that slutface stoner.

You fellas wouldn't happen to know anything about xxx

Soooooo you fellows wouldn’t happen to know anything about the uh, you know, the little split that may or may not have happened between Kate Moennig and Evan Rachel Wood?

What’s the plan, stan? Well, Lauren suggests a Trojan horse situation, but reasons the Cloudbangers will see that coming a mile away — until she realizes that she’s the only person in her English class who’s been keeping up with The Iliad this semester.

Shane: I was gonna skim it.

Well, well, well, then. TROJAN HORSE IT IS.

Welll, we  did see a pretty thrilling variety of harnesses last time we hit up Ye Olde Leatherkinkspace Shop

Welll, we did see a pretty thrilling variety of harnesses last time we hit up Ye Olde Leatherkinkspace Shop, we could try there?


Cut to aforementioned lair, where a bunch of lost-looking teenagers in cheap ponchos are serving cocktail shrimp to the whites while grown children with Nerf Guns stand in solemn rows, protecting their overlords. So, basically this is the U.S. Government.

Who should we take reproductive rights away from today, my lady?

Who should we take reproductive rights away from today, my lady?

Karma’s scheming how she can get this entire civilization involved in her personal vendetta, so, again: perfect metaphor for our actual civilization. Bravo, Penelope! Amy implores Karma to consider a compassionate approach ’cause they could’ve easily been born Mudmovers themselves, but Karma’s uninterested in immigration reform.

This massage is okay it's just so much better when we're both naked

This massage is okay it’s just so much better when we’re both naked

Then Amy ONCE AGAIN tells Karma she’s got something to tell her but then wimps out, instead ending a sentence that was supposed to be about hiding Liam’s salami into a sentence about how she’s gonna go get Karma a Diet Root Beer. Then, over at the snack table, Amy hears about rumblings of a revolution from a fellow Cloudsparklepony.

Amy: It’s just a stupid game, right?
Vashti: That’s what they said about the Stanford prison experiment.
Amy: What’s that? It sounds like a bad jam band.

Don't drink the Kool-Aid. Puck spiked it with vodka.

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. Puck spiked it with vodka. Shitty vodka. REALLY shitty vodka.

The Mudmovers have been planning a revolution of their own, however, as they suddenly roll up into the Lair with a gift offering to their hoodie-wearing overlords.

I'm not saying that it IS a pony, but I'm not saying that it ISN'T a pony, either

I’m not saying that it IS a pony, but I’m not saying that it ISN’T a pony, either

It’s an ice cream truck! Lisbeth’s thrilled by the prospect of Choco Tacos but Karma’s still furious about Liam’s beef in Amy’s taco.

Did somebody say "free G-spot vibrator???"

Did somebody say “free G-spot vibrator???”

Shane and Lauren then emerge from the body of the ice cream truck, nab Nerf Guns from slacking Firepolicedancerdeers, and make demands. Namely, they want their cell phones back. Before Karma can throw all of them in jail on misdemeanor drug violations, Liam emerges from the bowels of the confectionary to talk about his feelings in front of the whole school!

Liam: We were heartbroken and angry and really really drunk, we both wanted to hurt you in the worst way possible. Amy, back me up —
Amy: Karma —
Karma: YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS.

We're supposed to do the show in two days, you won't show me the lifts, I'm not sure of the turns, I'm doing all this to save your ass, what I really want to do is drop you on it!

We’re supposed to do the show in two days, you won’t show me the lifts, I’m not sure of the turns, I’m doing all this to save your ass, what I really want to do is drop you on it!

Amy looks awkward, Karma looks ragey.

Liam: There’s no excuse I can give you, I know that. But you made me feel things that I’ve never felt before—
Karma: Oh, so now it’s my fault for giving Liam Booker feelings?
Liam: No, it’s OUR fault, we did this. Amy, Amy tell her!
Karma: STOP SAYING “WE.”
Liam: I get that you’ll never forgive me but I just need you to know that I loved you. No — I LOVE you.

Karma gets a little teary but snaps out of it, telling Liam to go to hell. But by “hell” she means Abstinence Video World.

Look, neither of us are sure if this toy's really gonna do what it said on the box and beeline straight for your prostate, but if we don't give it a chance now, then who are we?

Look, neither of us are sure if this toy’s really gonna do what it said on the box and beeline straight for your prostate, but if we don’t give it a chance now, then who are we?

Liam: Fine, I’ll go to hell, if that’s what you want.

He totally stole that line out of the Jordan Catalano / Brian Krakow Playbook, but WHATEVER. Karma nails him with a nerf bullet.

Oh yes that feels really nice

Get a room

“I can’t believe he tried to take you down with him,” says a frustrated Karma. Amy says nothing. I’m actually surprised that Karma’s choosing Amy over Liam — but how much of this is First Day Theatrics, that high-on-anger way that you act when you’ve just been handed the Worst Surprise Ever and want to throw a bunch of plates at a building? Will she feel better about it in a few days or weeks? Obviously she’s got a right to be livid, but these are still her two biggest fans, and they were trashed and heartbroken and sometimes shit just happens.


Back on the luxurious sunny grounds of this strange school, revolution is in the air and the walls have been plastered with Liam Booker posters.

Karma: Shane turned Liam into a martyr like he’s a fucking Mockingjay or something!
Amy: Really? I’m getting more of an Obama hopey-changey vibe.

Ugh! They're totally RT'ing my photo all over the walls without crediting the photographer!

These assholes NEVER credit the photographer when they repost my work!

Karma: We’re gonna expose him Liam Booker for what he really is.
Amy: Which is what, a werwolf?

No, I’m pretty sure that THIS is what Liam Booker really is:

It's true

It’s true

JUST KIDDING! THIS is who Liam Booker really is:

It happens

It happens

Karma divulges to Amy that Liam’s family owns Skorkle — which Amy obviously already knew — and that she’ll use this info to humiliate Liam ’til he’s forced to transfer schools! Amy’s finally found her voice and is using it to tell Karma that this is a really really terrible idea. Undeterred, Karma demands Amy tell Penelope she’s holding an assembly in the cafeteria.

CAPTION

So that’s what a vaginal orgasm feels like


Lauren’s still on her anti-Brandy trip, which’d obviously be a set-up for “The Boy Is Mine” if this was Glee, but it isn’t, praise Lesbian Jesus.

What are you talking about this vest is dope

What are you talking about this vest is awesome

Lauren wants to know if Theo ate Brandy’s brownie and if he’s pulling away ’cause she told him about being intersex. He denies the charges:

Theo: I meant what I said last night, I don’t care that you were born a little different. I think you’re the strongest sexiest most amazing girl I’ve ever met. No matter what happens, nothing will change that.
Lauren: Then why does it always feel like you’re pulling away? I feel like I’m going crazy!
Theo: There’s something that you need to know, I wanted to tell you earlier but I couldn’t —

But before he can get into it, Penelope announces that everybody’s gotta get their asses to the cafeteria for an assembly! It’s probably a pep rally for the Dylan Panthers, or else another opportunity for Karma to make herself even less popular than she was in the pilot.


The revolution continues indoors, where Shane’s holding a rally in the cafeteria:

Shane: Remember Liam. Never forget! He died for our phones!

The Mudmovers have gathered into an angry mob and are chanting for the triumph and release of their #1 false idol, Liam Booker.

These pictures were posted ALL over tumblr without crediting the photographer! Doesn't anybody here understand the ethics of social sharing?

These pictures were posted ALL over tumblr without crediting the photographer and I wanna know who started it!

Karma’s got her own story to tell about a man who ISN’T WHO THEY THINK HE IS. She’s got her own megaphone and her own table to stand on top of, which she does, launching into a rant about how their Fearless Anti-Skorkle Leader is really a —

IF YOU WANT MORE PIZZA, VOTE FOR MARITZA!

IF YOU WANT MORE PIZZA, VOTE FOR MARITZA!

BUT BEFORE SHE CAN SPILL THE SEED, Amy murders Karma with a Nerf gun!

Karma: Amy, did you just kill me?
Amy: It was for your own good! Now you have to stop talking and go to the basement!

caption

STOP poking me in the buttcheek! Every time you do that, it becomes less and less likely that I’ll ever agree to anal!

Then the Fireballs kill Amy for being a traitor. THAT’S RIGHT JUDAS GO TO THE BASEMENT AND LEARN ABOUT V.D!

All eyes are back on Shane, who has some more complaints to register:

Shane: They made us wear these brown sacks and they took our phones. Who knows what important texts we’re missing!?! They can’t Nerf us all! Viva La Revolution!

Then a food fight breaks out. I hate food fights!

Seriously captioning this is just too easy

hmmmm I wonder what caption would go with this image…


Down in the tombs, Karma, Liam and Amy are not enjoying a romantic film about how you should never have sex ever. I mean aren’t these kids their own Abstinence Film?

Hey bra, when Mom gets home let's see if she'll drive us to Blockbuster

Hey bra, when Mom gets home let’s see if she’ll drive us to Blockbuster

Karma’s furious at Amy for preventing her from sharing Liam’s family secrets with the entire school, and Liam’s shocked to hear that Karma was planning to tell his family secrets to the whole school. Seriously that alone would be a huge red flag for me — I wouldn’t go near that girl with a ten-foot pole if she reacted to arguments between us by breaking my trust and publicly humiliating me, even if I was the one who fucked up. I’d never trust her again, you know?

You don’t just love people for how they act in good times. You love them for how they act in the worst of times, too.

It was Day Three of her Monastat regimen and Karma still wasn't getting relief for that burny itchy feeling between her legs

It was Day Three of her Monastat regimen and Karma still wasn’t getting relief for that burny itchy feeling between her legs

Shit’s getting dirty:

Karma: You don’t like it, go cry to your rich mommy about it.
Amy: Karma, come on, lay off, Liam’s family stuff is a lot more complicated than that —

(Moment of terrible, awful, awkward silence.)

Karma: Wait, how would YOU know?

Karma gets up, and asks if this was more than a one-time thing. It was a one-time thing, Amy tells her, and she only went to Liam’s house at all to force him to shut the fuck up about their romp in the hay. Also for the cocktail shrimp, I imagine.

Look I don't even know who this guy is, he totally followed me here from the mall

Look I don’t even know who this guy is, he just followed me here from the mall and keeps making these creepy sinus noises

Liam gets up. Liam and Amy stand before her, a front united in remorse and dismay.

Karma: So Liam wanted to tell me, but you stopped him?
Liam: Karma, it’s not like that. Amy was just trying to save you the pain.

Are you gonna tell her about the couples membership we got at 24 Hour Fitness or should I

Are you gonna tell her that opening night tickets for Mockingjay are sold out, or am I?

But Amy wants to take the blame where the blame is due:

Amy: It is like that. I was selfish, I couldn’t face what I did. It was horrible. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done, the worst thing I could ever do. But you can’t blame Liam and not me. Either you forgive us both or you hate us both.
Karma: Fine. Then I hate you both.

Basically it was like this:


But a big beautiful world lives on outside this sad, educational basement — outside on the grassy knoll, the children are pleased to have finished their seemingly pointless Social Experiment Costume Party, and Shane’s disappointed to learn that the only Duke-related news accessible on his mobile device is a Skorkle alert that his ex-boyf has signed with The Chicken Devils and is growing a beard.

Shane knew he should clean his face, but it was all he had left to remind him of Duke

Shane knew he should clean his face, but it was all he had left to remind him of Duke


We then launch into an emotional two-minute montage to the song “Forgive Me,” by Austra. Liam’s in his car, pounding the steering wheel, full of regret and rage. Amy’s at school with her textbook in front of her but that textbook may as well be a blank journal, ’cause she’s not reading a damn thing.

I knew I should've joined A+

I knew I should’ve joined Autostraddle Plus. What’s wrong with me? How could I let something so good slip away?

Amy’s not reading, she’s texting. Specifically; she’s texting Karma, begging for forgiveness.

Everybody will be so disappointed if there's no Season Three

Everybody will be so disappointed if there’s no Season Three

Karma throws her phone across the room, which’s like the classic and stupidest breakup move because then your life is broken AND your phone is broken. AMATEUR. Then she tears photos of Amy off her wall. Sigh.

How the hell am I supposed to examine my pores with all these crappy snapshots in the way?

How the hell am I supposed to examine my pores with all these crappy snapshots in the way?

Lauren’s sitting in the courtyard, where Theo said he’d meet her after school to tell her that thing he has to tell her. But he’s nowhere to be found.

fakingit2014-11-19-01h19m00s191

Just read this

Everybody’s secrets are out and everybody’s heart is hurting. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?


Here’s the trailer:
http://youtu.be/_jv4ESuYfeg

After watching this episode and next week’s trailer, we basically figured out exactly what’s gonna happen next week. 10% of this hypothesis is based on one page I saw of the script for 210 (which didn’t contain any definitive information, but did contain a line that makes more sense now that I’ve seen the 210 trailer), 20% is based on what was in the trailer, and 70% of the hypothesis is based on my PSYCHIC POWERS.

SPOILER ALERT IF YOU BELIEVE IN MY PSYCHIC POWERS!!!
So, this is what we think is gonna happen next week: Theo’s an undercover cop who’s been sent to Hester to find out who’s selling drugs. Remember how Amy’s parents said their fortunes have transformed since they started selling “baked goods” and how Brandy had a pot brownie this past episode and how Theo seemed awfully interested in hanging around her? And also how he perked right up when Lauren mentioned that she took ecstasy at the club? Right, so I think he’s doing a 21 Jump Street kind of thing. So, the cops are gonna show up to arrest the Good Karma family for selling pot brownies, Karma’s gonna pull some crazy-ass shit that’ll get her arrested, and then Amy’ll try to get herself arrested so she can be locked in a cell with Karma. Meanwhile, Liam’s gonna make peace with his Dad so that his Dad will give him money to bail Karma’s family and Amy out of jail — but in exchange, Liam will agree to work for Skorkle and keep all his family secrets. We’ll see Reagan for like two minutes, and it’ll be a weird cliffhanger that will leave us unsatisfied and annoyed, yet we’ll still accept it because we’re desperate for lesbian action.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT IF MY PREDICTIONS ARE TRUEEEEEE!!!

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2865 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. “Seriously that alone would be a huge red flag for me — I wouldn’t go near that girl with a ten-foot pole if she reacted to arguments between us by breaking my trust and publicly humiliating me, even if I was the one who fucked up. I’d never trust her again, you know?”

    For once, I completely agree with you. Can I hope in 210 that after her parents are arrested they’re forced to move because of the shame or incur serious drug charges (cause this is America) and Karma is taken into foster care and has to move far away with foster parents or relatives. Amy and Liam will be sad, but they’re 16 and they’ll get over it.

      • To be fair? How does one get to that point? She has absolutely no grounds for it and her own friend has confessed otherwise. I can’t imagine a world where every time I found out something unsavory about my partners sexual activity, I assumed it was assault!

        Also the proper response to thinking your friend might have been sexually assaulted is not attempting to seek self gratification through humiliating your ex, but supporting your friend by helping her seek the appropriate services or simply being there for emotional support.

        • Yeah, I totally agree. I can understand that Karma would want to rationalize it as “Amy must’ve been too drunk to say no!” but it’s pretty gross that she would project that onto Amy and then act like a terrible human being in response. Good thing Amy finally at the end decided to not let her best friend assume her (ex)boyfriend raped her because that’s also pretty unforgivable.

          • Yeah – the whole thing was a bit off. I remember the creators talking about how the characters are all good people who are just making mistakes, but pushing it into the rape space was ick.

            I think they just really wanted to show that Karma couldn’t even fathom that Amy would hurt her in that way, but where they had to take it to make that point was too far out of character for Karma (given the creators want them all to be ‘good at heart’).

            Re the son of Skwerkle outing attempt – while shitty, I think that is more in the boundaries of show’s ‘making mistakes’ vibe – and no worse a break of trust than Amy and Liam sleeping together to hurt her. While blabbing personal stuff as revenge is awful, Liam had just been pestering her non-stop, and in public, when she clearly wanted space. On top of the obvious Stanford effect taking place, it was a perfect storm of rage for her. Plus, I might be the only who thinks that him being son of Skwerkle isn’t that big a deal – had she known and tried to out Momster, that would be another thing entirely.

  2. I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this previously but Lauren’s friend, Lisbeth?, looks exactly like Lori Beth Denberg from Nickelodeon’s heyday shows All That and Figure It Out.
    I just wanted to mention that because it’s been weighing on my mind since April, or whenever it was this premiered.

  3. Riese, that prediction sounds pretty good to me, especially about the unsatisfying Reagan content. I’d just add that I think something nasty might go down either between Shane and Lauren, or about Duke/Theo given they are both feeling slighted.

    Mainly though, I’m looking forward to Amy’s red plaid pants.

  4. This episode is what we’ve all been waiting for, first Amy get’s some hot lesbian sex – presumably, sadly we only get to see the morning aftermath where they wake up almost fully clothed but filled with innuendo – then Karma reacts to the knowledge that her bestfriend and her boyfriend have bumped the uglies.

    Liam, Liam, Liam, I talk alot of shit about you, but this episode made me realize you have a problem. You don’t know how to communicate, so lets go over some pointers. When you drunkenly have sex with your ex girlfriend’s best friend, and then get back with that girlfriend and she finds out, there are ways to handle that situation that are marginally better than others. Let’s look at some options

    a)You stress the fact that you were heavily intoxicated and therefore not in your right mind, you regret it more than anything, and it meant absolutely nothing to you but you obviously understand why she’s upset, and will give her space to think and process.

    b)Sit there with a guilty face while she assumes the worst, text harass her, and then dramatically yell in front of multiple people that it’s not fair that she’s only mad at him because “We were both angry and trying to HURT YOU”

    Liam chose B. Liam chose wrong. Shockingly, Liam emphasizing that he slept with Amy deliberately to cause Karma pain did not do much to get Karma to forgive him. Nor does trying to say, “you aren’t mad at Amy, so you shouldn’t be mad at me” solve anything except make Karma angry at both of them..

    I found Karma’s reaction to Liam and Amy’s drunken hookup startling. She assumed that Liam took advantage of Amy’s emotional state, manipulated her into sex, and then forced her to keep quiet about it. That’s a lot to unpack about how Karma views Liam. It does need to be mentioned that Karma is very hurt and not thinking straight, she obviously doesn’t want to believe that her best friend would ever hurt her of her own free will. Yet how quickly she jumps on the Liam is a very bad man train says something about her real lack of trust in Liam’s integrity. There is a sick logic to what she is thinking. Liam, who was open about his *barf* desire to sleep with a lesbian, finds out the “lesbian” he is sleeping with is actually straight, dumps her, and immediately hooks up with her actually gay, highly emotionally distraught best friend. Despite not being the biggest fan of Liam, I think it’s fairly obvious that’s not what happened. Liam and Amy were drunk, hurt, and desperate for some kind of validation/connection, and no point did it come across as manipulative or coerced.
    I think the show was trying to highlight how much Karma trusts Amy rather than how dysfunctional Karma and Liam are by having Karma react like this, but I don’t see how those two as a couple could realistically come back from Karma assuming Liam is some sort of sexual predator.

    Karma has also clearly not thought through what it means for Amy emotionally and psychologically if she was sexually manipulated and then blackmailed into silence for the last few months. She gives Amy a hug and says she wishes she could have been there for her, but other than that mostly focuses on her anger towards Liam, until Amy finally comes forward and admits that it was mutual mistake.

    I had some trepidations about this plotline. I don’t think the writers fully thought through the distrust Karma would need to have to assume Liam was a sexual predator,or that if she did think that, how she reacted to Amy was inappropriately self involved. The point seems to have been that Karma trusts Amy above all else, and now that trust is broken, rather than Karma suspected Liam was an awful human. I doubt we will see this plotline reappear or be resolved any further now that Karma knows the truth, but it should have serious ramifications for all three characters. Amy didn’t correct Karma about what happened for hours either, despite knowing perfectly well Liam is more douchey than skeevy, and in this case innocent.

    In more light hearted news, Penelope the Vice Principal turns Hester High into a social experiment Hestoria. A land where cloudspinners (Karma, Lisbeth) rule, raindwellers serve (Karma, Vishti), firekeepers police (Theo, Brandi), and mudrakers are scum (Lauren, Shane, Liam). We learn what kids these days will really rebel for, their phones. Karma, if she was actually trying to stop a rebellion and not just keep Liam from texting her, probably wasn’t too tactically offbase by taking away people’s phones. Twitter is how protests were planned in Egypt after all. But being separated from their phones is more than these middle class 21st century teenagers can be expected to suffer silently. Lauren, proving again her ability to rise beyond the mediocrity of typical high school mean girls by doing her homework and absorbing tactical strategies, plans and executes a trojan horse maneuver to retrieve everyone’s phones. Karma, if you focused less on boys and more on school, you’d know that those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it.

    Speaking of Lauren, which is my favorite thing to do. We find out that Theo was perfectly cool with her being intersex, and I am disappointed again that we didn’t get to see that scene play out. Sadly, Theo ditches her to hang out with Brandi of the pot brownies and the epic burns, and then never shows up at their designated afterschool meeting. Theo! Lauren skipped out on froyo with Shane for you, and you ditch her? That is monstrous . Does anyone not think Theo is an undercover cop at this point? If Faking It manages to make him something else where he isn’t age inappropriate to date Lauren and this is just a clever fake out, I will be more impressed than I have ever been with this show. Lauren in general, while still keeping her quips, is supportive of Amy in her time of need, and this season has grown the Shane/Lauren friendship to the point where it didn’t even strike me as odd that Shane would invite Lauren to go help him “descend into a blackhole of cyberstalking and pinkberry”. It appears that the Duke saga might be ending, this show doesn’t have a great track record for keeping tabs on Shane’s ex boyfriends, but I have hope. He deserves better than Chick Fil A, we all deserve better than Chick Fil A.

    I also realized that I have not done my due diligence because I failed to inform you readers that Faking It also does transmedia. The Hester High blog regularly features blog pieces from Lauren, and weekly reports from Vashti Nadira titled “From the Trenches”. Vashti is one of the most underutilized characters on this show, and while “From the Trenches” doesn’t give her any revelatory or plot stories to deal with, the actress is game, and reports the tough facts in a more entertaining way than most actual news, plus it’s always nice to have muslim representation that isn’t focused on religious struggles, or terrorists. If you have twenty minutes to spare, give it a go.

    B for some good jokes, but points knocked off for a questionable main plotline.

    Bobs and Bits:

    “I just fired my trainer over our different… fitness philosophies”

    “ The only person to blame is Liam f*cking Booker” – I have to say, Karma angry is ten times more interesting than Karma in love.

    “as a salad spinner”
    “cloud spinner”

    You’ll be banned to the sub basement and forced to watch old abstinence education videos. The state of Texas requires me to show them, trust me their torture.

    Amy – “No it’s just a game”
    Vashti – “That’s what they said about the stanford prison experiment”

    Karma dramatically nerf gunning Liam was a wonderful visual.

    “Remember Liam, never forget, he died for our phones!”

    • “)Sit there with a guilty face while she assumes the worst, text harass her, and then dramatically yell in front of multiple people that it’s not fair that she’s only mad at him because “We were both angry and trying to HURT YOU””

      YES! Plus, it’s not even true — if they were trying to hurt Karma, why did they decide not to tell Karma? That doesn’t even make sense. No, they were drunk and angry and sad and sought comfort/release in each other’s bodies. He repeated this non-sensical explanation so many times, and insisted upon it so strongly, that I could only rationalize that there was some other meaning to the reason than its literal interpretation because… what? why? What a stupid thing to say! You’re right, this kid is the worst communicator of all time.

  5. Can I just say that I died at the part where Amy said that Liam was “what, a werewolf?”. Never forget that Gregg Sulkin played Selena Gomez’s werewolf boyfriend on Wizards of Waverly Place. Way to throw that in there, Faking It writers.

    Also, TOTALLY agree with your predictions on Theo pulling a 21 Jump Street. Remember when Lauren walked up to him just as he was ending a ~suspicious phone call~ saying something about needing more time or figuring something out? I don’t remember the conversation but I remember it being a little shady and totally fitting into that plot. Can’t wait for next week’s “whoa” “I know” moment though!

  6. I, too, have been thinking about what could Theo’s secret be. My worry with the possible 21 Jump Street thing tho is, does he have real feelings for Lauren? Because srsly I absolutely love Lauren now and will be sad if otherwise (I watched all of the episodes of the short-lived series called Bunheads because of her!) Amy + Reagan’s *the* morning after looks are like on point. MORE PLEASE! Why are the writers taking away the good moments? LOL Awesome recap yet again, Riese, high five! ^_^

    • Bunheads was an amazing show gone too soon. I actually had the opposite experience where one of the reasons I started watching Faking It was because I loved Bailey Buntain (Lauren) as Ginny so much. The ending of bunheads on her face was criminal without any closure.

      • I didn’t know Bunheads existed until I read Bailey’s wiki page haha and I’m so glad I watched it! Yep, amazing show gone too soon indeed! That and Emily Owens MD are just a few of the shows I absolutely love(d) but apparently the feeling is not mutual with the networks (boooo!)

    • I think he has genuine feelings for Lauren, definitely! I mean if he wanted to date someone just to find out who the drug dealer is, then he’d be dating Brandy, not Lauren… I think he’s been hesitant to invest with Lauren though ’cause he knows his secret will be revealed soon and she’ll feel wronged by it. (and thanks!!)

  7. Ugggh, Karma does not have the right to be as pissy as the show is letting her be. She emotionally fucked with Amy and Liam in the first place. What a surprise that they would seek solace in each other when they were both really upset by some dumb shit Karma did.

    I find this plot very contrived. Yeah, Amy and Liam wouldn’t want Karma to find out, but the real reason they don’t want to tell her is not because they don’t want to “hurt her” Its because they both know that Karma is too immature to handle the situation. They shouldn’t be bending over backwards to protect her ego, they should be reevaluating if Karma is worth all the unnecessary turbulence into their lives.

    I was never a fan of the character, but have kept an open mind beucase this is a show about high schoolers, but making Amy and Liams hook up all about Karma’s immature unprocessed feelings has pushed me over the line.

    I hope all the bad shit Rise predicted happens to Karma because she is in dire need of a reality check

    • I agree so hard with this – was also SO angry that Karma was just fine with Amy and her switching, as though she expected it because she always comes first. Also, I think if you really loved your friend that much, if she fell in love with you, you’d give her some fucking space so she could get over you, not turn up and “waterboard her heart”. Seriously, Karma really does think it’s all about her! I was also trying to like her character, but she’s been pissing me off so much…

  8. I’m a little mad because of this “we did this to hurt Karma” plotline. When Amy and Liam got together I didn’t read it like that at all, for me they were two teenagers being like “fuck it” but not in a let’s hurt our best friend/ love interest kind of way.

    A little off-topic: I had to google Choco taco, and since I live in Tacoland now I feel like my life is a lie!

    • yeah, that feels like an idea that appeared for the first time in this episode and it didn’t make any sense. like it was so non-sensical that i just skipped over it in my brain and was like, ‘maybe liam is bad with words?’ b/c as i said upthread, if the point is to upset a person, then wouldn’t you want that person to know? it doesn’t make any sense!

  9. lol times 1,000. Also I feel like Liam is a bit of a dick being so keen to take Amy down with him. I reckon an actively good person might be willing to take more of the blame and limit the damage from their shitty choices? Rather than going for total honesty and maximum shitstorm?

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