Faking It Episode 201 Recap: It Wasn’t A Phase, Mother

Welcome to the first recap of the second season of Faking It, a delightful and horrifying television program from the network that brought you Trailer Fabulous. Last night while I was celebrating my 33rd birthday (by hitting up the wax museum and eating things near water with my girlfriend, obvs), this show was re-birthed into our lives like a misandrist baby soaked in blood and placenta.

EW BOYS!!!!!

EWWW, BOYS!!!

Well, let’s leap into the recap, shall we?


We open in a luxurious bed with sheets inspired by a Southwestern sunset, where Amy’s waking up with smudgey eye makeup, awful bedsexhead…

Oh fuck I fell asleep with a thong on this is going to be a bacterial nightmare

Oh fuck I fell asleep with a thong on this is going to be a bacterial nightmare

…and, much to their mutual surprise — a giant hunk of burning man-meat known as “Liam Booker.”

caption

This is not the hot butch lesbian I though I went home with last night

Before the twosome can begin processing the previous evening’s events, there’s a knock at the door — it’s Karma, and she wants to talk. So Amy pushes naked Liam out the window and he falls to his death JUST KIDDING. She does push him out the window though.

STOP EVERYTHING SAMIRA WILEY HAS A GIRLFRIEND

OH MY LORD BILL HAS DECIDED TO FACE THE TRUE DEATH AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

Karma has feelings but Amy’s in a hot panic:

Karma: I have been the worst best friend ever. I had no idea that all this time you’d been having these feelings. It must have been torture.
Amy: Yeah, it wasn’t fun, but can we talk about this later?
Karma: I am so deeply sorry, I made it all about me and my crush on some silly boy. Who, by the way, hates me for not being a real lesbian, so you two have that in common.

Zing!

Can you do me a favor and see if a band of tiny elephants is hiding in my hair stomping on my head 'cause that's what it feels like

Can you do me a favor and see if a band of tiny elephants is hiding in my hair stomping on my head ’cause that’s what it feels like

Amy says she doesn’t hate Karma ’cause she’s in no position to judge. After all, she played into everybody’s least favorite queer lady television trope mere hours earlier even though Karma probably didn’t read that Hollywood Reporter article about it.

WATCH OUT IT'S A GHOST

WATCH OUT IT’S A GHOST ATTACK

Karma’s clearly desperate to smooth things over, reminding Amy that they’ll be spending the rest of their lives together and therefore they’ve gotta get some greasy breakfast into Amy’s vacant tummy STAT and discuss things but Amy is like PLEASE NOT NOW JUST LEAVE PLEASE BEFORE LIAM BLEEDS OUT


Downstairs in this impeccable home, Farrah is wearing a really serious necklace situation and Lauren, blurry-eyed from crying, is sullenly eating cereal with a sadface.

Really? You thought ordinary Cheerios would be a valid substitute for Honey Nut?

Really? You thought ordinary Cheerios would be a valid substitute for Honey Nut?

Farrah’s nervous about her impending afternoon with Nanna but is snapped out of her abstract depression when a naked Liam Booker pops up in her window, George of the Jungle style, leading Farrah to conclude that Amy fucked a boy and isn’t gay anymore!

Pro tip: fucking a boy is often the best way to confirm that you are, indeed, gay. Don’t get your hopes up, Farrah!

Excuse me could I borrow a cup of sugar

Excuse me could I borrow a cup of sugar

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME FOR SUGAR

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING ME FOR SUGAR

But it’s too late, Farrah’s so excited she’s going to come in her pants, and Lauren, who didn’t just see Liam and his penis, is confused. Also, Farrah says she’s leaving for Cancun that very evening. HONEYMOON!


Outside Chez Fawcett, Shane and Pablo are leaning against a tree with all their clothes on as Liam sneaks by without any of his clothes on.

Gay Pride Fake Austin: The Morning After

The Morning After Gay Pride

Shane and Pablo kiss tenderly and chat about missing the sunrise when Lauren hops outside in her Strawberry Shortcake nightie and turns on the sprinklers, declaring this relationship between Shane and Pablo as “not happening.”

Only YOU can prevent Fire Island Fires, boys

Only YOU can prevent Fire Island Fires, boys

Pablo tells Shane that Shane’s gotta apologize to her and Shane agrees because he wants to give Pablo a beejer. You can see it in his eyes.


We then mosey over to the friendly neighborhood apothecary, where Amy’s about to become a hedonist baby-killer by taking the baby-killing pill Plan B. The “B” is for “Baby-Killing.”

Amy: Do you have anything for my guilt? I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
Pharmacist: We’re not here to judge.
Amy: I deserve to be judged. Last night I told my best friend, “I love you,” and when she rejected me, I got drunk and slept with her boyfriend! Do you think I should tell her?

Fuck what am I gonna do with all the heavy machinery I'd planned on operating later today

Fuck what am I gonna do with all the heavy machinery I’d planned on operating later today

Just as Amy’s about to seize her devil pills, Karma shows up! She followed Amy here so they can talk. Also, Liam is also at this apothecary? It’s a hot spot. Maybe a band is playing there later.

Please help me pick out an antacid

Please help me pick out an antacid

The pharmacist covers for Amy, stuffing the Plan B into a paper bag and passing it off as something else. She’s a good pharmacist, Amy should date her instead. But before this love connection can be made, Amy dashes, and Karma saddles up to Liam, who’s looking at ibuprofen bottles with the same awe and wonder we all approach our Advil with. I like his shirt, I hope he sells it to Buffalo Exchange when he’s done with it so I can buy it for $6.

And I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.

And I’m sorry I called you a perfectly-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so perfectly-toothed.

Karma: Yes I lied about being a lesbian. But in my defense, the only reason that you noticed me is because I told you that I was one.
Liam: Why didn’t you tell me? I told you that I hate lying. Like over and over and over and over.
Karma: I was worried that if you found out the truth, you’d lose interest in me. So instead I lied, and now you’ve lost interest in me. How ironic.

Karma says she’ll stay out of his life now. FAT CHANCE.


We then zip back on over to Chez Fawcett, where Lauren’s wearing every pastel color in the universe that isn’t represented elsewhere in her bedroom and huffing away on her elliptical trainer. It’s always been my dream to have my very own elliptical trainer in my room. I’m so jealous.

Is training to be the fastest gazelle in the history of gazelles

I’m training to be the fastest gazelle in the history of gazelles

Then Shane shows up to apologize for going too far and says he’s done telling other people’s secrets and therefore will be joining the cast of Pretty Little Liars JUST KIDDING Lauren says she’ll only forgive him if he does her a favor.

Shane: Is it a makeover, because I have lots of ideas!

And don't say you want me to make Liam sell his t-shirt to Buffalo Exchange, that bitch at Autostraddle already tried that one

And don’t say you want me to make Liam sell his t-shirt to Buffalo Exchange, Riese already asked me and I was like, buy your own shirt, you total weirdo

Lauren wants Shane to ensure Tommy doesn’t spill her secret to the whole school. Luckily she’s prevented him from doing so using his wireless network by melting his phone with her flatiron! This kind of makes me love her a little bit.


We then take an exotic river cruise back to Karma’s Tranquil Retreat Room, where she’s feeling sorry for herself when her Mom shows up wanting to find out why her daughter’s so upset and why she and Amy broke up. Karma’s like, yeah um, about that… sit down.

Molly: Breakups between teenage lesbians can be especially brutal, we talk about it all the time in PFLAG.

Did she leave you for that Whitney Mixter fellow because if she did I will hunt her down for you and give her SUCH bad vibes

Did she leave you for that Whitney Mixter fellow because if she did I will hunt her down for you and give her SUCH bad vibes

Speaking of PFLAG, it looks like Karma’s Mom has outsed Debbie Novotny as president of PFLAG! Karma takes this as an invitation to CONTINUE LYING — how could she break her mother’s heart now that she’s become president of PFLAG?  So instead of telling Molly that she’s not really a lesbian, Karma tells Molly that she just HAS to get Amy back. This is true, of course, but Karma wants to get Amy back as a friend. She should get her an A+ membership or tickets to see Britney Spears, I think.

Tickets in the front orchestra cost $575 each? How could Britney do that to me?

Tickets in the front orchestra cost $575 each? How could Britney do that to me?

Karma tells Molly that she can feel Amy pulling away. Molly says that her family is the expert on grand romantic gestures, like when her Dad built her a huge fire to show her the passion in his heart. In fact, that’s how Burning Man started! The more you know, kids, the more you know. So basically: go big or go home.

No you HAVE to see the Mary Martin version of Peter Pan before you even consider watching that one with the girls from Girls!

No you HAVE to join Ello I sent you my last invite!


Later that very same day, Shane and Liam are strolling down a lovely neighborhood street chatting about love, life, hopes and dreams. Specifically, Liam says there’s no chance he could get back together with Karma and it’s all his fault, but Shane insists that it’s Karma’s fault for being a big fat selfish liar. Shane’s like, I don’t understand what you and Amy see in her besides that she has great hair, to which I say, AMEN. This takes Liam by surprise ’cause he didn’t know Amy shared his passion for Karma.

Seriously? Extra lube is all it takes to fit a whole fist up there?

Seriously? Extra lube is all it takes to fit a whole fist up there?

Liam: Amy?
Shane: Did I say Amy? I meant Jamie Buckner, the kid with the stutter? HE thinks Karma is a-da-dorable.
Liam: You said they were faking being lesbians.
Shane: (sighs) Karma is. Amy’s so tied up in Karma she’s practically a pretzel. Apparently she told Karma that she loved her last night and Karma rejected her.

Despite Liam’s aforementioned desires to fuck a lesbian, he’s not turned on by this news but rather disturbed as he makes the connection and realizes why Amy wanted to sleep with him in the first place.

Also Shane has Tommy hogtied in his trunk LOL

This isn't how they described it on Bondage 101

This isn’t how they described it on Bondage 101

PLLshock

It was even more terrifying than they’d anticipated


Back at The Fawcetts, Farrah’s still prepping for Cancun and tells Amy she doesn’t wanna return from her trip to a crime scene, which is like COME ON MOM CAN’T WE EVER HAVE FUN? Plus, Farrah’s soooooo excited about Liam’s donkey kong that she un-grounds Amy for her “innocent dance between two best friends.”

Remember what I said about not eating processed carbohydrates, okay?

Remember what I said about not eating processed carbohydrates, okay? It’s just empty calories.

Farrah tells Amy to “use protection” before jetting off. Amy’s like, ummmm I have a softball bat under my bed, does that count? But Farrah’s like BYEEEEE.


Amy returns to her basement with a bag of laundry and is shocked to find Tommy in a leather full-body harness with Sonic the Hedgehog shoulder pads and a gag.

Oh hey, we've moved the filming of Who's Your Leather Daddy to the rec room, if you could just follow me upstairs?

Oh hey, we’ve moved the filming of “Who’s Your Leather Daddy” to the rec room, if you could just follow me upstairs?

Apparently, Lauren and Shane have decided to ensure Tommy’s discretion regarding Lauren’s secret by taking photos of him in glam bondage gear with the sex toys Shane’s Mom sells out of her trunk. Because the best way to blackmail somebody is by doing something illegal and taking pictures of the victim!

Who wants to see my baton-twirling routine?

Who wants to see my baton-twirling routine?

Amy’s like, how bad could this secret be? And Liam says that you’re only as sick as your secrets and everybody should just be honest about everything all the time!

Amy: What? Who says that? Who? The voices in your head? Tell them to shut up! [to everybody] I changed my mind. I’m on board. This is a miracle! We are all entitled to our secrets.

Amy pulls Liam into the other room to kill him JUST KIDDING to tell him to shut his trap. Liam says the guilt is killing him and Amy’s like THEN DIE ALREADY. Just kidding, but she does think he should just deal with it. She’s right — telling Karma would make him feel better at the expense of everybody else, so it’s kinda selfish.

Oh COME ON if I could keep my mouth shut about Samira Wiley being gay for AN ENTIRE YEAR you can manage this

Oh COME ON if I could keep my mouth shut about Samira Wiley being gay for AN ENTIRE YEAR you can manage this

Amy: What would it do to Karma if she found out that her soulmate slept with you?

Liam says he doesn’t have AIDS, so good news there. Also, he gave up his wonton lady-killer ways ’cause he liked Karma so much. Amy’s wondering why Liam rode the hobby horse with her if he’s so head-over-heels for Karma, but he says it’s ’cause he was drunk and pissed off.

Amy: “Same.”

Man y’all, for real, nothing feels worse than shit like this. You’re hungover, you did something unforgivable, you know what you did will hurt someone you care about way more than it served any purpose at all for you,  and the only way you’re gonna get away with it is if you lie to them for the rest of your life. Plus on top of that you can’t even talk to the person you’d normally talk to about feelings this shitty, because she’s the one you’re lying to. OH, YOUTH, I DON’T MISS YOU ONE BIT!

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Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2697 articles for us.

49 Comments

  1. “I would’ve wrapped that sucker in duct tape and then tissue paper and then a boring magazine and then a plastic bag and then probably a burlap sack before disposing of it in a garbage can 25 miles out of town.”

    My girlfriend and I were laughing our heads off the whole time we read this! I’m not sure if I am more excited for faking it to be back or for the recaps!

  2. FINALLY! I was seriously waiting for the recap all day. I tried watching an episode last season and just couldn’t, so for now I’m settling for your recaps and my best friend’s immediate reactions.

    I hated the cliche tv lesbian ending they gave Amy last season, but I am happy where they are going with it. I can relate to her for this, coming out to yourself and self-identifying as gay all on your own with no point of reference or advice is a fucking roller-coaster, and if any one fucking boy gets in the way the bridge you’ve been building can burn to smithereens just like that. So it’s a delicate road to tread through, and I hope the show does right by showing us Amy’s whole journey. I just wish there was more time for a little introspection.

    • Yes! It’s like a resale clothing store, the first one I went to was in Williamsburg (Brooklyn) and now I live in Berkeley and there’s one here too. In Michigan they had the same kind of store but it was called Plato’s Closet and also there was a Rag-o-Rama once. So you sell them your lightly worn clothes if they are in perfect condition and brand-name, except they are picky about what they will buy, and then other people can buy them!

  3. Aw, Riese, I love how much you care about me and my trans headcanons.

    Also, I just want to make sure that people know that:
    1. Even though I’m embarrassingly sad that Lauren isn’t trans, I’m extremely happy that there’s what so far seems like positive representation for intersex people on TV.

    And 2. I’d actually been praying that she was trans since Episode 5 when she wore that amazing floral dress and said that Amy’s mom was her best friend. I just started suspecting that she might be actually trans a couple episodes later when her suspicious period habits were mentioned.

  4. “But it’s also quite possible that Amy, as a freshly out-to-herself queer with zero lesbian friends, might just genuinely wonder if the fact that she was able to sleep with a boy and not hate it, in and of itself, means that she’s not all-the-way-gay. (It doesn’t.)”

    Amy, sweetie, it took me a couple years (or maybe like 7?) to figure this out. It’s okay, bebe.

  5. Yay recaps! I’ve missed these!
    Am I the only one that actually likes Karma? I see a lot of 15 year old me in her and I think aside from being a bit hair-brained and not really knowing what she wants she seemed like the most normal/least horrible person in this episode. (Pablo doesn’t count, he’s there to be Lauren and Shane’s shoulder angel and force them to be friends). What’s the deal?

  6. “But it’s also quite possible that Amy, as a freshly out-to-herself queer with zero lesbian friends, might just genuinely wonder if the fact that she was able to sleep with a boy and not hate it, in and of itself, means that she’s not all-the-way-gay. (It doesn’t.)”

    I think that would be really damaging message given the popular homophobic stereotypes about lesbians. To suggest that lesbians, when their inhibitions are down, can experience sexual attraction toward men and enjoy having sex with them would work as confirmation for all the myths that “deep down, lesbians just need d***”, which stand behind sexual harassment and even corrective rapes.

    It’s already shown in preview for the whole season that Shane will kiss Karma just to say no, still don’t get it. So you see, gay men are really gay, while lesbians are in fact bisexual apparently. Beautiful confirmation of Liam’s (or his actor’s, hard to say) ideas about “conquering” lesbians.

    • I’m not sure what it is in my statement that you’re disagreeing with? where did i say that sleeping with a man would make somebody not gay? i said that amy could very well be 100% gay but could ERRONEOUSLY believe that being able to sleep with a guy is evidence that she’s not 100% gay. i said amy might ERRONEOUSLY believe in the statement you’re accusing me of endorsing because she has no lesbian peers to tell her that being able to sleep with a guy doesn’t mean she’s not a full-blown lesbian. it just means she had a shitty night and did a stupid thing!

      • Riese, I’m sorry for offending you. I meant that if she ends up as a lesbian (and after Rita Volk’s statement that Amy is gay, anything other would make it the most vicious example of gaybaiting), and it would be implied, or just left unanswered, that she enjoyed sex with the Lesbian Conqueror, then it would suggest what I wrote, perpetuate homophobic myths about lesbians.

    • I think a lot of what Amy is going through in terms of being able to have sex with a guy and not HATE it reflects a lot of what I (and probably many) went through in discovering my sexuality. In a society that doesn’t really talk about how sex should feel emotionally or even physically in a POSITIVE way, I had no idea that my ability to have sex with a guy and like it didn’t exclude me from not being actually sexually attracted to him. And that’s what Amy is probably confused about, because we expect sexuality to be so innate to understand. “Wait but if I can have sex with a guy and I didn’t burst into flames, does that mean I’m actually attracted to a guy?” It’s fucking confusing, and it’s not in any way invalidating lesbian identities. Nor is it automatically saying that to engage in sex with a guy must mean that a woman is bisexual.

      I’m not really sure why or from what you’re accusing Riese, but I think most of us (who have slept with people who fall outside of our sexual attractions) can relate to the tumultuous feelings that Amy is dealing with which doesn’t discredit our identities as homosexuals.

      • I agree (and we also don’t know if she liked it or not, but I can’t help but remember her Season 1 metaphors comparing kissing Liam to something pretty good [maybe there was bird involved? I’m blanking] versus the 1000x even-better-than-that kiss with Karma — that resonated with me a lot).

        And I sympathize completely with the need for more (or hell, ANY) representation on TV and film of lesbians who never did hook up with a dude while trying to figure things out. But this is just not that story. This was a story about two girls who very much considered themselves straight pretending to be gay, and one of them falling in love with a girl in the process. It hasn’t been but a couple of months since it first even dawned on Amy that she might be into girls, or at least one girl. She still has questions.

        In other news, I’m psyched about Lauren. I love the transcription of what she wrote, I had no idea!

        • “I agree (and we also don’t know if she liked it or not, but I can’t help but remember her Season 1 metaphors comparing kissing Liam to something pretty good [maybe there was bird involved? I’m blanking] versus the 1000x even-better-than-that kiss with Karma — that resonated with me a lot).”

          That was the exact dialogue:

          Amy: It was like… you know when you’re outside on a sunny spring day and you see a butterfly and you go “ahhh” and then the world stops for a second, and then it’s gone? It was like that.
          Shane: Wow.
          Amy: Wow, no. Not wow.
          Shane: Not wow?
          Amy: No. Wow was kissing Karma. If Liam was spotting a butterfly, Karma was spotting a soaring eagle and oh my god I was with her and it was magical and I wish it could last forever.

          Interestingly, to keep lesbians baited, IIRC Covington retweeted interpretations of people saying that Amy felt like that with Liam because she was turned on by the soon-to-be making out with Karma, etc.

      • Almost the exact same plotline, of lesbian hurt by woman she loved and sleeping with her man, happened not long ago in NBC Dracula. The difference is that Dracula’s creator apologized and said something very important – the lesbian was supposed to look traumatized by the sex, instead during executution of the episode, against the intention of writers, she was portrayed to enjoy it tremendously and had strong orgasm (in British version, it was censored a bit in America).

        This example shows that this type of portrayal of lesbians, confirming homophobic stereotypes, is pushed even against the writers.
        We had 7 TV shows with lesbians sleeping with men just since the end of last year, most of those lesbians looked like they enjoyed the sex, and in movie reality, Riddick converted a lesbian and Al Pacino is going to turn a lesbian into his wife in “The Humbling”.

        Considering such situation, I think that we shouldn’t put the cart before the horse and legitimize this kind of portrayal just yet, when 90% of lesbian characters in television sleep with men and like it.
        I honestly doubt if it’s done out of respect for the struggles of gay women who happened to not hate sex with men.

        • I guess it’s just hard for me to really come down too hard on it since the show hasn’t told us that Amy liked it. And Amy herself has not yet identified herself as a lesbian, so it feels like we’re judging it based on a comment by the showrunner rather than the story we’re actually seeing, which is that she hasn’t come to that realization fully at all yet.

          Again, I can see why it stings in the face of other stories. But this isn’t those stories. Amy, as defined by this show, does not know that she is definitely gay. I hope a show happens someday that isn’t about coming out or isn’t about self-destructive reactions to rejection that just promote the whole “lesbians aren’t really lesbians” trope.

        • Weez, but if she is lesbian (and since Rita Volk said she is, it would be slap in the face if in the end she would turn out to be anything else), then the fact she hasnt’t yet figured it out doesn’t negate anything that happened to that point.

          AE has close relations to the show’s cast since they and MTV belong to the same parent company and AE’s writer did an interview with the showrunner, in which there was brought her concern about how the sex scene was portrayed – with soft lighting and sexy music (and I might add – Amy kissing Liam very passionately and digging her nails into his back).

          Covington addressed that and blamed the director of episode, saying that he wanted them to quickly go through it, but the director wanted the scene to look “very sexy”.
          So what does that tell about people who work behind that show? The director intentionally wanted to portray sex scene of confused lesbian with a man who wishes to conquer lesbians as very sexy and enjoyable, and the showrunner didn’t have much of a problem with it, he let him do that (it’s also noteworthy that Covington thinks Liam is very gay-friendly and open-minded, so he doesn’t consider his attitudes toward lesbians, wish to convert them, as homophobic).

    • I really hate how when you have gay men talking about their sexuality versus lesbians talking about their sexuality, the lesbians have to go above and beyond to validate men. Like they’ll have a gay man kiss/have some form of intimacy with a women and hell be all “Ew.Nope. I’m good. I like the mens.” Whereas they’ll have a lesbian be intimate with a guy and before her “I like the womens” moment she has to be all “It wasn’t bad. He was a good kisser. I don’t hate men. They’re cool. etc.” I’ve noticed this in different forms of media and its super annoying every time.

      Why can’t lesbians just “Nah fam, I’m good” to men without feeling the need to coddle them? Especially when gay men get to treat women that way.

        • And pandering to the male gaze, too. It’s easy not to turn off your straight male viewers by having conventionally beautiful feminine lesbians who also don’t think men are gross. Caters to that fantasy, big-time.

          But they’re sitting pretty with their female viewers, so they can totally have their gay boys be grossed out by the ladies and not lose anyone. (And they won’t. Marketing research shows that female viewers will stay engaged in a story about gay men without any pandering.)

    • Totally agree. With the whole kidnapping thing, at first I was thinking “Ohhhhh no, that’s not okay” and then I remembered I was not watching realism. Despite many realistic emotions and character arcs and relationship in the larger sense.

      (I mean let’s face it, the very premise — “just be a lesbian and you’re automatically popular!” — is a fantasy that requires a tremendous amount of willing suspension of disbelief.)

  7. Oh my God SO glad for the recycling joke – my first thought (before WHO is daft enough to leave that kind of thing in the bathroom bin?) was “BUT…BUT…BUT recycling!” :p I think that irked me more than anything else in the episode…

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