Daily Fix: Time’s Gone By So Slowly Since Sandra Bernhard & Madonna Did Dyke Drama on Letterman

PEOPLE WHO AREN’T GAY, GET MARRIED: Guess what we’re about to change your life! I know! What could it be? STFU Marrieds. I feel I could spend all day going through facebook and posting all the convos that have been irritating me excessively since November. Also “hubby.” I hate the word “hubby.”  If someone would start a STFU Marrieds Who Just Had a Baby, my life would be complete. We need an intern to do that right now. Ok I just did it. Send your submissions to [email protected] [email protected]. [I’m busy!]

PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT GAY, JUST DON’T HAVE BOYFRIENDS: I Will Never Get Tired of Kelly Clarkson Stories. RCA threatens to pull all promotion for Clarkson’s latest album “All I Ever Wanted.” (@theprophet)

GAY? HERE’S SOME HOT LADY MUSCLE FOR YA: “So, we all already knew that girls’ sports were awesome. But now, according to the New York Times, girls’ sports are actually lucrative … and the women these girl athletes grow into, sweet holy hell, they’re hot.” (@dorothy surrenders)

GAY INVASION: “This past weekend marked the third successful lesbian raid of a straight club …” (@boxed lunch LA lesbians)

PEOPLE WHO DO/DON’T DO THINGS BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE GAY: Did Hate Motivate New Orleans Murder? A murder in New Orleans on Sunday may have been motivated by the victim’s style of dress or gender identity. Eric Lee was stabbed multiple times at an apartment complex in the Algiers neighborhood, and died on the scene. (@the advocate)

GAYS: REPORT, REPORT, REPORT!: Police Chief Urges Gays and Lesbians to Report Homophobic Crime. A Stonewall survey from last year found that three out of four lesbian and gay people who had been a victim of a hate crime did not report it to police. The head of the Metropolitan Police, Sir Paul Stephenson, has urged gays and lesbians to report homophobic crimes. (@pink news)

PEOPLE WHO AREN’T GAY NEED LOVE TOO: Republicans Are Hypocrites? A Tennessee lawmaker resigned from the state Senate on Tuesday after his extramarital affair with a 22-year-old intern was revealed by an investigation into an extortion case. Republican Sen. Paul Stanley resigns to “focus full attention on [his] family.” (@365 gay)

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS LIKE SEX WORKERS UNDERSTAND: 7 Key American Sex Worker Activist Projects. The sex industry is big and weird and varied, and there are a lot of different issues that face people who are in the industry by circumstance, choice, or coercion. According to Audacia Ray, there are seven key areas in which projects to support sex workers need to be (and are being!) developed here in the U.S. (@feministe)

YOUR PORCH/GRILL/ALUMINUM SIDING IS GAY: Home Depot is Making Our Children Gay! A Christianist news site is claiming that Home Depot is promoting a pro-homosexual agenda by donating money and setting up a children’s craft booth at several pride events. Also just by being a hardware store. Hey lesbians! (@ joe my god)

THE POPE IS ALSO GAY: Pope Angry! Pope Smash! The Pope is pissed about an art exhibit in the UK that invited gay folks to “write their way back in” on a bible on display. The exhibit, Untitled 2009, is part of the Made In God’s Image exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow and was thought up by local artist Anthony Schrag. (@ joe my god)

SARAH WATERS IS GAY, AWESOME: Finally, It’s Not Just Us Who Love British Lesbians. Openly gay authors Sarah Waters and Colm Tóibín selected for 2009 Booker prize longlist, described by the judging panel’s chairman as “one of the strongest lists in recent memory”. (@ pinknews)

GAY PEOPLE NEED HEALTH, LIVE IN AMERICA: Health Care Bill Coming Together. “Blue Dog” Democrats—a group of fiscally conservative House Dems—have come around on President Obama’s health care reform bill, a sign that the party is coalescing around the legislation. (@ the advocate)time-travel-thursdays
I was reading this New York Magazine article about all the different Madonnas and I think one of my favorite Madonnas is the one where her and Sandra Bernhard went onto David Letterman, dressed the same, and then had dyke drama on the teevee. Here’s her 1988 appearance during now-out lesbian SB’s little segment.


katrinafrom Intercaine katrina:
Hey nerds, is anyone else simultaneously a fan of biology/anatomy, art, and design? Tell me it’s not just me. Then check out Street Anatomy.

jess-rothschild-iconfrom Intern Jess:
‘Celebration’, the new single off Madonna’s upcoming Greatest Hits compilation was leaked this morning and it’s a yummy throwback to her timeless pop/disco era.

crystal-iconfrom Crystal:
I’m fascinated by the work of Urban Screen, a German company that projects amazing visual patterns and graphics onto the face of buildings. This one is described as ‘how it would be if a house was dreaming.’ Check out the company website for more awesomeness, including a house that’s been turned into a playable pinball machine.

green-iconfrom Laneia:
I’d never heard of the website Serious Eats before yesterday — it’s amazing, you’ll love it. Be sure to read Carey Jones’ article My Week Without Corn (parts 1 and 2) and this short piece about an undercover investigation, conducted by quarrygirl.com, which found non-vegan ingredients in supposedly vegan foods.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3200 articles for us.


  1. how come the STFU marrieds blog (genius, btw, i have many submissions to send) has a giant scientology ad at the bottom of the page? i don’t know whether that’s hilarious or terrifying.

  2. That clip from Letterman is completely awesome. I feel like some of our vlogs are like accidental parodies of it!

    • Well, if [when] you & Riese make it on Letterman one day you’d obvs wear matching pink Automatic Win tank tops…

  3. Ok, not gonna lie, I looked at your team pick last night Katrina and you’re definitely not alone. ANYWAY, totally love it and sidenote, I saw the picture of the first contributor they listed and my first reaction was “SO GAY!” and I checked out her site [which is actually really awesome] and I was totally right. Just sayin’. I don’t know where I was going with this. Ummmmmmm. Yeah. Kthxbye. #alternativelifestylehaircut

    • Street Anatomy is awesome! I now feel that my physiology major could lead to greater things than medical textbook illustrating. Thanks, Katrina.

      • if vashti’s comment and, ahem, the photos of contributers on the site are any kind of clue, i’m pretty sure that your major is psysiology could lead to GRAND things. like ladies.

      • not that there’s anything wrong with medical textbook illustrating!

        but f’reals, nice to know there’s a lot of ladynerds out here.

  4. I was having a crap day until I saw you threw Madonna in there. My day has been restored.

  5. I remember watching this show and hearing Sandra call to Madonna like one would a dog you didn’t much like.
    I still love you Madonna, despite the fact you wrote that terrible stupid book about sex! Group hug!

Comments are closed.