Daily Fix – Ilene’s Interrogation, Iowa’s Marriage, Logo’s Awards and Everybody’s Twitter

Today on Autostraddle: Get your recap fix with Crystal from Australia’s complete recap the controversial lesbian storyline from Aussie soap Home & Away! And Green interviews indie author Carissa Halston!

Carly’s Tuesday Televisionary column will actually appear on Wednesday, which is very NewNowNext of her.

1. omg. Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse, the latest interrogation tape stars …. ILENE FUCKING CHAIKEN!!!!!  She wants us to listen to her so bad, it makes me feel weird for her. Maybe she OD’ed on beta blockers in 2006 and just couldn’t stop taking more of them. Seriously, this is too easy. I can’t even make a joke. Sidenote; I’m afraid to watch it. Someone tell me what happens.

2. The gays come out to marry in Iowa! (@nytimes)

3. Lady Gaga Continues World Domination. (@ohnotheydidnt)

4. EVERYONE is on Twitter! Have you heard of Twitter? Every American television host seems to be thinking: “dangnabbit, we are NOT gonna be the last ones to report on this thing, you know, we can’t have another FACEBOOK.”

This is from E! The Soup:

5. Really Papi? Some guy asks Is Jennifer Aniston a lesbian? This article inspired A;ex and I to brainstorm who we could randomly “out” for no reason citing redic “evidence” to attract attention/traffic and eventually we decided on Julia Roberts or Jessica Simpson. Thoughts? (@ianundercover)

6. Logo announces its nominees for the NewNowNext Awards! Hopefully A;ex and I will be covering the NewNowNext Awards with integrity and no microphones like last year!

The Logo website has some hot “behind the scenes” photos (Robin Roemer’s, of course) — look, it’s our backs and the sides of our faces! And in “The after-party” section — it’s the front of our faces! Tinkerbell looks beautiful.

7. Twelve years after Yale rejected a $7 million endowment for a gay student center, the school’s Gay and Lesbian Association invited legendary playwright and gay-rights activist Larry Kramer back to campus to receive its first Lifetime Achievement Award. The following is his speech: Yale’s Conspiracy of Silence (@the daily beast)

8. If you are like me and don’t live in Los Angeles, you missed the best concert of 2009! Never fear, Haviland Stillwell is here, singing Jenny Schecter’s favorite song, “Crazy”!

9. Also speaking of us, Carlytron had a birthday party last weekend. There was dancing. Riese wore a bathrobe and a sock on her arm.


Alex Showcases the Goods, Carly Swallows


Riese is a Space Robot, Natalie thinks A;ex is funny


Riese & Natalie Back-to-Back

The Birthday Girl & Her Gay

The Birthday Girl & Her Gay

10. And Oprah wants to know why women leave men for other women.


riese-icon3from Riese: Confession: Ever since they added gays to the mix, I’ve often read the Weddings/Celebrations section of the New York Times on Sundays just to see if there are any same-sex unions.  I don’t think this is related to my own feelings about marriage (terror, mostly for the other person who volunteers for the spot) but rather to how far and wide and low I will go for a gay love story. This week, it’s Eve Ellis & Annette Niemtzow AND Lucia Maria Fuentes & Irene Maria Recio and they all sound super adorable!! I love it when they do the VOWS, here’s a cute one with these two gay men who met in the 70’s! Here’s some cute lesbians getting married. Whazoo!

green-iconfrom Green: You may think I’m only sending you to this site because of its name, and you’d be half right — GreenIsSexy.com is chock full of eco-living tips, like cleaning with lemons, and doing your part to stop companies from using wasteful packing products. Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Kisses to Irish Vicki for the tip!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3181 articles for us.


  1. IFC…I have so many feelings. Mostly they can be summed up with “ugh!” and a roll of the eyes. Because there are no words…only sounds and facial expressions.
    Love the pictures from Carlytron’s birhtday. Yay!
    Haviland really rocked that out. Good for her! Can’t wait to see more from her.

  2. omg ilene wtf. she made max be pregnant to punish him for sleeping with tom. that’s what i got out of that.

    and that she wouldnt date any of her characters because “that would be crazy”… ok yeah, THAT’S what’s crazy about all of this.

    it’s very very bad.

  3. Oh Ilene…you really think Jenny went out with dignity and redeemed herself? Everyone hated her and then she fell in the pool and then she was gawked at in Bette and Tina’s living room while she was all blue and cold. Dignity?

    Also…I prefer the word “niche” pronounced “nitch” rather than “neech” but whatever.

  4. digital macarena!
    here are the highlights of the IFC interview:

    Showtime: How did you approach story progression?

    IFC: We took it one season at a time. Sometimes people would try to see how a storyline would look waaaay off in the future, but I told them to go sit in the naughty box and remember who signs their paychecks. One season at a time, babe.

    Showtime: Why on earth did you get Max pregnant?
    IFC: You say that as if you question my authority and judgment. Because DUH! — at the end of S5, he had sex w/ a man. What did they actually doooo in the bedroom? Butt sex? I don’t think so! Vag sex. Straight sex, my friend. Because even though Tom’s a GAY MAN, he didn’t mind having STRAIGHT SEX w/ Max & obvs Max liked it. OH YEAH AND THEY DIDN’T USE A CONDOM B/C WHY WOULD ANY MAN, GAY OR STRAIGHT, EVER USE A CONDOM. And once this genius storyline crossed my genius brain, not a single human on the planet could talk me out of it because I’m Ilene Chaiken.

    Also, I fired my hairstylist and am now letting blind monkeys curl my bangs. Looks great, amirite?
    Haviland = amaze

    • Ok I had to cave in and watch it. I really enjoy her storytelling process, as well as her quaint mid-century ideas about how opposite sex works. She should do abstinence education, bc clearly not only do condoms or birth control fail to prevent pregnancy … even TESTOSTERONE fails to prevent pregnancy. The best idea is to sit on your hands and wait ’til marriage.

  5. all i have to contribute is that the mom from south of nowhere (can’t think of her real name) looks like an amputee.

    not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  6. also. this is why i am assuming they had to use title cards:

    producer: “ok so you’ve done this before, just rephrase the question in the answer.”
    ilene: “no.”
    producer: “no? it’s really easy and will save us time in edit.”
    ilene: “yeah, no.”

    title cards it is!

  7. re: lady gaga
    i know lynne, who comments here sometimes, 1/2 through autostraddle and 1/2 through a mutual real-life friend. she has an extra ticket to lady gaga and i get to go!
    just thought you’d like to know that autostraddle is changing lives every day.

    • I’m coming for you, Laura. That ticket is miiiiine.

      For real though, that’s awesome and I’m so very jeal!

  8. okay, one more thing. and it’s kinda long. my apologies.

    I’ve got mixed emotions about the Yale thing. The best class I took there was a WGSS class taught by Seth Clark Silberman called The Making of Modern Sexuality. From what I gathered there are two vying factions for how this material should be studied/taught: Queer Theory vs. Gay & Lesbian Studies.

    The G&L Studies approach looks at history and tries to dig up dirt (a perfect example is the book about Lincoln being gay that Kramer champions). Kramer is very much in this camp. Ha! Camp.

    From my understanding, Queer Theory is a bit more post modern. It says: look, history has always been a bit gay. We don’t need to show that this person dated someone of the same sex to prove that – look at the huge popularity of musicals in the 50s, or 80s hair metal videos. Soooo gay, right? Seth believes in this route of study.

    Here come the mixed feelings – obvs Yale should take money to further their educational resources, and I don’t know why they didn’t – that’s pretty effed. But I have a natural aversion to Kramer. When I was at Yale, I got the impression that Kramer held a lot of control over the WGSS program, and he was much more interested in promoting the G&L path of study. 2005, the year I took Seth’s class, was the last year he taught at Yale. Despite an outpouring of support from his students, he was not offered tenure. While I can appreciate anyone offering millions of dollars to further the study of gay and lesbian history/culture, I still hold a grudge (whether rational or not) towards Kramer, and partially blame him for Yale’s loss of a great professor.

    Seth’s doing great. He did what any gay man w/ a PhD would do. After a brief stint at Emory, he moved to NYC to write a book about his study of Michael Jackson and dj at The Boys Room as PhDJ. You should check him out sometime.

    • LK really hates the word ‘queer,’ which makes me feel weird, because I don’t know what other word to use.

      In any event, I find queer theory more interesting/relevant/necessary … like gender studies, gender theory etc. Gay & Lesbian History as it is also seems to be pretty Gay, since women have been prevented from any biography-worthy positions of visibility for so long anyhow and how long can we talk about virginia woolf.

      agreed seth’s path is enviable, and awesome.

  9. I cringed when IFC said ‘plucked from the headlines’ but then I watched the Haviland vid and that made me feel better :D How does so much awesome sound come out of such a small person?

  10. i thought maybe green was just advertising herself with greenisSexy.com

    hey i’m commenting sometimes! yay lady gaga! changing lives indeed.

    i should have just created like…an auto-straddle challenge to win this ticket…hmm

  11. Hi this site rules! Got a card from my friend lex who interns here, she also rules. yay for iowa marriage!! good luck!

  12. IFC made me a little ill. Why so crazy? Then I watched Haviland and felt better and a little in love? idk.

  13. OMG – IFC – wtf? OK her hair looks like squirrels got in there, an nested over night and had a drunken party…
    IFC – which character would you like to date – “I wouldn’t cuz that would be crazy”….LOL – IFC you ARE F’ING Ding-bat shit-rollin’ crazyyyy!!!!! But I sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo knew she was gonna pick Bette Porter – didja see that embrace shot at the recent talk? *sigh* – soooo obvious.
    Why the phricken-phrack does IFC get to have the Last Word? No wrong – the FANS get the last frickin’ word – laughable!!!!
    Ilene, Ilene, Ilene – what more can I say? You are batshit crazy! Also…I luv how she had to “rip from the headlines” the Max storyline?! Except that the MAX storyline was bloody-well implausible!!!!!! RE: Testosterone and that whole birth control thingy….
    Loved the Haviland gig YouTube thingy – it made me smile after watching IFC – you were great!

    Hey Haviland – I can sing THAT song and I do a mean “Barracuda” – I’ve seen HEART like 3X!!! And I love them – every one of them….we should do a karaoke sing off! Whose the gal on guitar? I think I’m in love – lol….

  14. Oh – and btw…the “digital Macarena” – loved that comment….

    Riese – more of those happily married stories – they are awesome – I’m a romantic at heart too – we lesbians are such gushy romantic types, eh?

  15. Oh Ilene…

    What I got out of that was as follows:
    “I ran out of ideas. I was sitting on my butt one day and saw this pregnant man on Good Morning American.. WAHBOOM! Thus I decided to write about it and make Max and all my viewers suffer…MUHAHA”

    P.S. Nice pics from the party. Whoevers place that is looks very apartment-therapy-esque. :)

    • The first time we went to Carly’s apartment we were like, this looks like it would be a sample apartment to entice people to buy a certain apartment or work with a particular designer. for reals.

  16. Is Kate Moennig a Sex Symbol? This is the hard hitting questions that were asked of Ilene in the Showtime video. I stopped watching after that because DUH- Doy what else did I say at twelve years old?

    I hope Kate’s new pilot series gets picked up because that poor girl needs to disassociate from the L word fast. Ilene may next claim to have created Kate in her Laboratory.

    i loved the Haviland Youtube – she’s amazing! – see Haviland you could have gotten a part in the Farm and Ilene would have claimed to have given your amazing singing talents through her typewriter.

    Cute pics for the birthday.

    Keep up the great work girls. (Sorry, Women)

  17. Riese, I was reading the transcript of the NY panel, did she really say ” I didn’t kill Dana, SHE got sick.” I mean, did she say that seriously or she was kidding, being funny, I don’t know, I’m speechless.
    She could even say “Yeah, shane slept with hundred of girls, but what can you do, she has a vagina!” (well, to be completely honest it was she said to LuH about the thing btw Tina and Helena. She asked IFC:”Why does Tina get together with Helena?” Answer: “Well, because she’s beautiful.” I mean, seriously…

    • yeah, she totally said that at the panel. That’s when I wished we’d brought our monkeys so they could just skwak (sp?) over that kind of nonsense, i was expecting everyone to boo, and me nicole and alex laughed when she said shit like that thinking it had to be a joke, but sometimes we felt like we were the only ones laughing.

      • I believe it is squawk .. ?? then again i don’t find myself using that word often or ever…

        I was frankly just surprised she didn’t use her go to line “it was a story that had to be told”

      • Bwhua Riese! You should have brought the monkeys! Can you imagine that scene? I’m laughing only by thinking about it… :-)

        It’s kinda sad actually that the audience was so receptive to that kind of nonsense, I feel you on that. (and not because I was a dana fan, to clarify)
        But come on, maybe they got used to nonsense after 6 years… but it is still sad.

  18. It’s not an interrogation tape–It’s clearly shot differently. These are viewers’ questions, which she is answering because once they were asked ad nauseum. Don’t want to hear Ilene talk anymore? Don’t engage her.
    It’s the second time I happen upon this blog and for the same reason: it came up on my google search (can U guess what I googled?)
    How can U devote so much time to someone U apparently hate? Were U invited by Ilene or Showtime to publish the video on this blog? Were U invited or even forced to go the NY Times talks? U did those things of your own volition and then wrote about them w/ nothing but snide remarks and metaphors that were in poor taste. U increased traffic on the Showtime’s website by visiting it to post this video here. U paid for a ticket to the Times talk, therefore helping make it a success. It’s like not liking to drink cum but being unable to stop doing it. And then reporting what the cum tasted like every time U swallowed it. And then after a few days, going to search for cum again and bam, drinking it all up and reporting about how bad it was.
    U R a fucking cum drinker. And having a bunch of repeat incidental cum drinkers wallowing w/ U and then discussing how much they hate cum is clearly not helping U.
    The goddamn show ended–move on! Having trouble attracting traffic and comments unless U talk about the one thing everyone loves to hate? Shit, how does one even accomplish the act of “loving to hate?”

    • I like how U took all the time to write this clearly well thought out and intelligent argument and then U opted to write ‘U’ instead of ‘you’ throughout the whole thing. For some reason that fact alone renders your argument pointless to me, and oddly it also annoys me more so than the amount of times you used the word cum.

      Also, they were invited to the Times Talk, by me. Ilene invited me and I invited them. Ilene and I are bff. I babysit her kids. I’ll send her your love for sure xoxo

      I blame CBS

      • Annoyed, what keyword did you google? This is important information.

        Nicole, I think maybe “U” is a person?

        There was someone named U-Turn on Weeds. He died. Marvin killed him. It was sad. But out of that death came one of the greatest lines spoken at a television funeral: “he taught me how to drive by”. I also loved it when U-Turn (pre-death) said: “thug means never having to say you’re sorry”. As I’m a thug myself, I found this easy to relate to.

      • Abbreviations can’t render an argument pointless–only make it faster to type.

        Your invitation does not validate the bloggers’ repeated and willing exposure to someone they don’t seem to like.

        That fake jovial offer at the end of your post wanders off the subject I raised and is overtly patronizing. Inferring my love for IC in order to take that cheap shot at me, while at the same time professing inability to even imagine what I googled to get to this page (see your response to Riese) makes your post deliberately myopic.

        My original post was direct even if somewhat hostile, and the questions I asked were to the point. Don’t speak on behalf of those I addressed if the best U can do is draw on mass mentality and passive-aggressive moves.

        • This response was somewhat underwhelming, Annoyed.

          I was hoping maybe you’d have an actual reply to something… Riese’s counter cum-drinking metaphor, perhaps? Did you read it? She makes a good point and I was looking forward to the possibility of an intelligible response. Just saying.

        • Dear Annoyed: This is what media is for. We talk about things we like and things we don’t like. That’s what human beings DO, and media outlets especially, in particular those fighting for more — and better! — visibility and equal rights.

          You can read a number of lesbian media outlets and find the same opinion expressed there regarding Ilene’s claims vs. achievements.

          I could go on, but I’ve had this argument before and because I will never understand your motivation for bothering to say what you said or for making the cheap shots that you made (“are you that desperate for traffic?”) and including the crude metaphor that you did — let alone claiming there was anything justified, superior or “to the point” (what point?) in your comment — I don’t think there’s any logic here for us to begin a productive discussion. As you already feel your time here was wasted, it seems silly that you’re still here, still wasting your time. I suggest we agree to disagree and move on with our lives.

    • Can I guess what you googled? I mean … what “U” googled? There’s a lot of content here so it could be anything … hmmm .. same sex marriage? Earth Day? Lesbian novelists? Hesta Prynn from Northern State? The Cliks? Lady GaGa? Dinah Shore Weekend? The Glaad Awards? 30 Rock? Queering Domesticity? Hate Crimes Bill? Advice column? SXSW? iPhone apps? Lesbian comedians? Girls in Boyshorts? t.a.t.u? Uh Huh Her? Ellen and Portia? Anyone But Me? Feminism? Gynecologist? OH! I know!!! “Haviland Stillwell Gorgeous.” Right?

      Anyhoo, moving on: your “paragraph” about drinking cum pretty much describes my college experiences perfectly!

      That being said — and to extend this lovely metaphor — if I were writing a newspaper on a desert island and we had a section about local food & drink and the only food & drink available on my lovely island was “cum milkshake,” methinks we’d be obligated to report on it. And furthermore, it would be irresponsible to endorse such a beverage when in fact it’s quite salty and — IMHO — a grand submission to the patriarchy — to willingly consume it. So damn the man, Annoyed, damn the man!

      Also be careful drinking all that “cum,” Ilene told me people get pregnant like that!!

      • So like, I was going to do the guessing game of things googled to get here, decided the list was too long – so thanks for that Riese

        I like the metaphor- deep.

        Brooke – I remember U-turn! It’s fun to re-read that comment with all the U’s being U-turn.. maybe thats just me………

      • The part about guessing what I googled was very tongue in cheek, Riese.
        Thanks for sharing some of your college experiences… TMI–just a little.

        “Anyhoo”, moving on: On a desert island, your newspaper should report on the status of cum if it were the only food available.
        Your newspaper could, however, stop writing about cum if it were just a form of *entertainment* available.
        It’d be irresponsible for your newspaper to not report on something people need to survive, but the newspaper subjects the readers to details of *entertainment options* which the newspaper itself doesn’t appreciate and which the readers dislike. “IMHO”, the newspaper is willingly investing time and perhaps money (the Times Talk wasn’t free–unless that babysitter got comp tickets from Ilene The Disliked) just to report about cum.

        • Hello Annoyed,

          True story. I ordered grilled cheese for dinner last night not realizing the restaurant’s idea of that meal was to send me slabs of cheese that were grilled. It was quite the letdown.

          Now, had I actually read the seamlessweb.com description of the aforementioned appetizer instead of just clicking “Add to Order” I would have known what I was in for.

          I will not order that plate from the restaurant a second time because I like my grilled cheese with bread.

          That story is a metaphor. But I also wanted to vent about the fact that I spent $7.25 on slabs of grilled goat cheese.

  19. I am in love with this comment thread and the number of Alex’s in the auto-universe. Holler

  20. A;ex: There isn’t a “reply” button under your comment so I am posting here. That response was for Nicole. It addresses what she talked about in her comment and it wasn’t really meant to overwhelm U. Downplaying it by calling it “underwhelming” without saying how or why is a little obtuse.

    I did respond to Riese–using the “reply” button under her comment so if U R that eager to see it, pls be my guest.

  21. RIESE,
    Thank U for your last 2 comments, under which there is no reply button so I am posting here.

    We could have agreed to disagree before U decided to drink from the well of anonymous supporters who, as I predicted, banded together and acted defensively, giving body to that thoughtless mass mentality that aims to belittle anyone who questions their dogma.

    It shouldn’t have taken U 2 rambling and defensive posts to get back to me; U could have said something regarding your position as a media outlet like U did just now. If U had done that, U certainly wouldn’t have to speak about the other websites that R doing the same thing (there is strength in numbers; not necessarily rationality). I wouldn’t have needed it to understand your point.

    I never claimed anything “justified, superior” in what I was saying. I wrote “to the point” meaning straightforward. U decide to address me directly and with candor only after several proxies jump in the conversation, and the result is this indignation and defensiveness U R now showing, and these claims and assumptions that go well beyond what I clearly addressed and stated.

    I have now put my impossible-to-fathom google search on alert mode so your blog will continue to pop up, since U apparently have no better and more constructive ways to fight for better representation and equal civil rights.

    Fight on.

    • You Said:We could have agreed to disagree before U decided to drink from the well of anonymous supporters who, as I predicted, banded together and acted defensively, giving body to that thoughtless mass mentality that aims to belittle anyone who questions their dogma.

      Yet you are belittling us for questioning Ilene’s dogma? We’re a little publication, and we’re little people working 24-7 to build a good website at our own expense, a website that we hope will provide a wealth of content beyond your wildest dreams. Relevant, important content.

      Because we don’t have the money or resources that other magazines have, our stories remain small and local and we cover what we can — like a panel in NYC.
      You said:U certainly wouldn’t have to speak about the other websites that R doing the same thing (there is strength in numbers; not necessarily rationality). I wouldn’t have needed it to understand your point.

      I say: I mentioned them because I am unsure why you have chosen me as a target and not them (not that you should target them either, but I’m just confused). The google search? It’s a miracle we showed up at all, considering our reach & size.
      You said:I have now put my impossible-to-fathom google search on alert mode so your blog will continue to pop up, since U apparently have no better and more constructive ways to fight for better representation and equal civil rights.

      Same to you, dear Annoyed — certainly there’s a better and more constructive way of fighting for better representation and equal civil rights than coming here to insult (there is something condescending in digs regarding cum drinking and traffic-baiting) a small online community for disliking a show produced by a gigantic corporation.

      These people — the ones who you refer to as a herd — are the same people that raised over $13K for the No on 8 movement in October that was initiated by a group of lesbian bloggers who also often rant against Ilene Chaiken — many of whom built their audience via such discussions. They’re the same people who’ve supported us here in a myriad of ways to build an alternative channel for expression, community, togetherness and responsible representation.

      We fight strongly for all the things we believe in, and as media professionals, representation in the media is one of those things.

      There’s a wealth of content and information available on this site, and we try to balance frivolity and serious-ness in hopes of gathering an assembly of open eared people who do speak up, especially against those in power — people who have a voice and instead of using it properly, have used it irresponsibly.
      But back to the cum-drinking, that ever so straightforward argument you made. Once upon a time, I was a practicing het. Then I saw this amazing show. It was one of many things that helped me come out, I loved it and was loyal to it — I thought it was a harbinger of change to come. I saw it as a sign that there was a community out there that deserved an entire show of voices. I don’t think this show is as important as literature and social action, but its reach is undeniable and therefore it’s important.

      Then, as I became comfortable being an active part of this community and gathering with people online to talk about it, I saw the show that represented such positivity kill off a main character for no reason under the guise of telling the story of breast cancer — told irresponsibly, and unrealistically, and tragically — not a pick-me-up for people hoping to recover. I saw a rape victim who self-mutilated be transformed into a person apparently “worthy” of being murdered by her own friends. I saw a groundbreaking transsexual character transformed into quite literally a circus act without Ilene doing any of the proper research on the process of pregnancy for FTMs. I saw a sexy complicated androgynous sex symbol become a cad, an asshole who openly cheated and lied to their best friend. I saw bisexuals marginalized, eliminated and belittled. I saw straight men villanized and I saw gay men disappear. When this show was canceled it was so bad that the spin-off wasn’t picked up and now we have no new show to take its place. The actors are over it and most don’t want to do a movie. That would’ve been different if the show had stayed good and maintained its buzz, and not dismissed many good writers.

      Larry Gross, Sexual Minorities and the mass Media:: While the holders of real power — the ruling class — do not require mediated visibility, those who are at the bottom of the various power hierarchies will be kept in their places in part through their relative invisibility … termed symbolic annihilation … the contributions of the mass media are likely to be especially powerful in cultivating images of groups and phenomena about which there is little first-hand opportunity for learning, particularly when such images are not contradicted by other established beliefs and ideologies … the answer to the plight of the marginalized minority audience would seem to lie in the cultivation of alternative channels, even while we continue to press upon the media our claims for equitable and respectful treatment. But neither goal can be easily achieved, and each will require overcoming formidable obstacles.”

      So no, I’m not going to apologize for fighting against Ilene’s dogma, just as you refuse to apologize for fighting against our apparent dogma, or at the very least indulging in the rest of this site, which I think is remarkably positive, upbeat and hopeful compared to most of what’s out there.

      We’re trying to do a good thing here. And this argument isn’t doing anything good.

      There are far more important things to fight about rather than fighting amongst ourselves. You said it yourself. We assure you our mission here is good one, we want to do right where others have done wrong. There’ll be some stumbling blocks along the way, and some cattiness to be sure, but the ultimate goal is to get as many people as possible involved so that real change can happen in the media and then politically as well.

      We need to be seen, which means we need to make things worth seeing, and not take the shit lying down, just ’cause it’s THERE.

      So let’s lay this one to rest.

      And that, dear Annoyed, is my Last Word.

  22. Wow I just read all of this and it made my head hurt. I still continue to not be able to understand the internet. I should probably just go about my business and not add to this but I feel that I would be doing a disservice to this delightful blog of which I am a proud contributor and supporter. So I know you, “Annoyed,” will be writing back and telling me all of the ways in which I am wrong but that doesn’t really bother me, since I have to deal with obstinate, closed-minded people masquerading as allies all of the time at my actual job.

    That being said, we are not a news outlet, we are an entertainment/editorial blog and to that end we all put our own spin or slant on our own posts. For instance, I like to criticize “Grey’s Anatomy” a lot in my TV posts because I think it isn’t nearly as good now as it had been in the past. Are you going to tell me that I should stop that too? And are you posting cranky rants on all of the other websites out there that have less-than-positive things to say about “The L Word” or Ilene Chaiken herself (many of whom are actual news outlets)?

    I don’t necessarily understand why what you have read here is so offensive to you or why — given that — you don’t just stop reading. I must admit, I have actually never understood that about the internet. Why do people take time to write hateful things on YouTube videos? Why do they write mean comments on blogs? I don’t know and will never know because if I don’t thoroughly enjoy what I am spending my time on, I simply stop reading/watching/consuming/whatever the case may be.

    The exciting thing about Autostraddle — in my opinion, at least — is that Riese is effectively creating a community on here. Our writers and readers and contributors are all in this for the same cause: integrating quality lesbian/bi female-centric content into the mainstream world out there, trying to unite and incite, entertain and inform, amuse and connect. Riese and the whole team here are constantly putting themselves out there, through their words, ideas, images, and beliefs. While this does afford us the opportunity to hopefully bring people together, it also opens us all up to criticism and debate (and let me add, we thoroughly encourage discussion and debate, when it is intelligent, reasonable, and well-thought-out — not the case here). I think that it’s far more interesting to read something on Autostraddle, given the voice and POV that the writers here take, than to read it someplace else. So if you don’t appreciate our particular point of view, I suggest you get your “news” someplace else. Simple as that. Anything else is just bullying at this point, and that is utterly unnecessary.

    • “And let me add, we thoroughly encourage discussion and debate, when it is intelligent, reasonable, and well-thought-out — not the case here.”

      Carly, I liked that part so much that I had to repeat it. Well said.

  23. Ya’ll are fierce. Do you think if you had to meet people face to face in order to make a comment, that this conversation would be less mean spirited? If not, I’m guarding my lunch money.

  24. How can U devote so much time to website U apparently hate? Were U invited by Autostraddle to read this post? Were U forced to agree with our opinions? U did those things of your own volition and then wrote about them w/ nothing but snide remarks and metaphors that were in poor taste. U increased traffic on the Autostraddle’s website by visiting it to post these comments here.

  25. omg. reading the comments made me cry a little. i love riese and all the autostraddlers so very much.

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