Good morning, baby betta fish! Today we’re going to very consciously not talk about Avril Lavigne’s new video, and instead focus on other things happening around the world. The 90s are still back, the 00s are almost back, and the world keeps turning, churning out more cute chicks with nontraditional haircuts singing about broken hearts and new beginnings. It’s a whole wide world out there! Let’s begin with the elephant in the room.

Lily Allen – “Sheezus“

You guys, you guys. I’ve loved Lily Allen since the very beginning, and I’ve sort of started to feel like her last defender — even when she says and does dumb things, I’ve held onto the belief that her records were always so lovely and of course her heart is in the right place and UGH. Here we are with this mess. Sometimes you can build a whole career out of talking about your own personal controversy, instead of stirring up actual controversy with relevant art — Eminem and Lady Gaga are great examples of this – but this track just comes off as kind of sad and dated and desperate. The video looks great and I can’t help but mentally high-five Lily for the segment of the song dedicated to informing the audience that “we all get periods” (even though some of us don’t), but I’m definitely less excited for her new record than I was yesterday, and really ache for the simpler days of “Knock ‘Em Out.”

Courtney Love – “You Know My Name”

Probably the best/worst idea anybody ever had was to give Courtney Love a YouTube channel. All this chick needs is a platform, and she’ll run wild with it. There’s been a lot of whispers circulating that Ms. Love may be getting the original lineup of Hole back together for a tour, a rumour she both started and then dismissed with typical Courtney Love-esque… Courtney Loveness. There’s really nothing else quite like her out there, which is alternately a blessing and a curse. Lucky for us, she’s at least gifted the universe with this new track, which is just as rough around the edges as we always love for her to be. Never change, Courtney.

Veruca Salt – “The Museum of Broken Relationships”

Of all the 90s reunions, none have had me quite as excited as the news that the original Veruca Salt lineup are back together, recording new material and planning on touring this summer. Often when bands release new songs several years after their heyday, it can be incredibly disappointing, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. While “The Museum of Broken Relationships” isn’t quite as high-energy as classics like “Volcano Girls” or “Seether“, it’s more of a slow burner — and it’s amazing to see Nina and Louise’s twin sneers back in action. Can’t wait to see what else they’ve been cooking up.

The Julie Ruin – “Just My Kind“

Kathleen Hanna can do no wrong in my book. “Just My Kind” is an adorable hip-shaking love song off the quasi-supergroup’s debut-ish record Run Fast, and the video gives us a great picture of what it would be like to go swimming with Kathleen, or stand in a series of other random locations with her similarly adorable bandmates. This is a pretty great track to put on a mix CD for someone you’re trying to impress, if you’re into that sort of thing. In other Julie Ruin-related news, the band put out a pretty excellent release on Record Store Day, and including a great new track “Brightside.”

Siren – “I Think I Like You“

Okay queers, here are a couple of pretty girls from Los Angeles singing an incredibly catchy synthpop song about FEELINGS. The chorus of this song is “I think I like you but it’s complicated,” a sentiment that I am sure rings true for 99.9% of Autostraddle’s readership. I’m not sure any more explanation is necessary.

The Captain’s Log is a monthly-ish collection of new music that Stef found while sailing the seven seas in search of adventure, with a parrot on her shoulder and a song in her heart.Header by Rory Midhani.

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