Can Lesbians REALLY Have Sex? F*ck Yeah! It’s NSFW Sunday!

after-sexLesbians Can Have Sex Too, Thank You: You know the deal. A boy and a girl are in a car together. The girl is talking about her girlfriend. The girl mentions having sex with her girlfriend. The boy tells her that “lesbians can’t have sex.” The girl gets really pissed off. Then the girl writes an article for “The Frisky” (a site we have a serious love/hate relationship with ourselves, but would defo have lesbian sex with, whatever that is, given the chance): “Sex is an intimate and passionate experience. It’s an important and emotional part of my relationship. When someone tells me what I experience and feel isn’t real just because I don’t have a dong, it’s demeaning and it makes me sad.” (@the frisky)

Oh yes, this again. Also this week on Blowfish’s Blog, Greta Christina responds to a recent Dan Savage column where Dan had to describe “what is sex” and asks: Does (X) count as having sex? And does it matter? Christina analyzes the various reasons that categorizing certain sex acts as “sex’ or “not sex” is useful or not, and cites her oft-cited 1992 essay: Are We Having Sex Now or What? in which she examines her initial reasons for counting lovers and how difficult it eventually became to do so as her sexual life grew more diversified — especially when she started f*cking girls:

I’d always made my list of sex partners by defining sex as penile-vaginal intercourse. But with women… well, first of all there’s no penis, so right from the start the tracking system is defective. And then, there are so many ways women can have sex with each other, touching and licking and grinding and fingering and fisting — with dildoes vegetables or whatever happens to be lying around the house, or with nothing at all except human bodies. Of course, that’s true with sex between women and men as well. But between women, no one method has a centuries-old tradition of being the one that counts … So when I started having sex with women, the binary system had to go, in favor of a more inclusive definition.

In 1993, two girls wrote the famous advice column Go Ask Alice! to confess that they were “considering lesbian activity” and have “always been intrigued by lesbians and have been asking the question, How do they do it?” It’s a quaint little response.

Then check out “the young lady’s guide to muffdiving.” Then chck out guru Felice Newman, author of “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book” (you remember that, right? From the photo [below] of Alice getting her gift from Phyllis?)’s website, she has all kinds of ideas about how lesbians have sex, from how to please a butch to how to jerk off like a guy.

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pullingGallery: Naked Ladies Reading Banned Books: “Pinchbottom Burlesque debuted Naked Girls Reading Banned Books at Madame X on Friday, October 16. It was hosted by Nasty Canasta, with Gal Friday, GiGi La Femme, Jo Boobs, Legs Malone, Sapphire Jones and Naked Girls Reading creator, Michelle L’Amour.”

Bitchtapes: For Hot Hot Sexin’ it Up – your hot sex mix tape at @bitchblogs, in celebration of Bitch, Bed and Beyond.

College Football Preview: Cheerleader Edition – from this totally misogynistic website that irresistibly offers titilating galleries of hot girls, a reasonably “real” gallery this week. (@coed)

Lindsay Lohan goes shopping, lets you see her fantastic breasts, kinda, dude makes shitty remark about her face, which even at its worst, looks better than most of your faces.  (@egotastic)

Sexy Lesbian Tumblr Alert: Las Vegas Style.

Primetime Panty Pageant Returns To New York Let’s all look at pictures from last year’s show and remind ourselves how bizarre it is that Victoria’s Secret dominates the luxury underwear market in this country. (@fleshbot)31

The Lesbian Sex Mafia wins The Village Voice’s Best Erotic Bloodletting award. (@villagevoice)

Jezebel takes a f*cking hilarious virtual trip to Loveland: “LoveLand is a South Korean sculpture park dedicated to sex, and is described by the park itself as “a place where sexually-oriented art and eroticism meet.” They failed to note that certain portions of the park are actually quite creepy.”

From the pictures I saw, there were few (if any) pictures of same sex couples, though in fairness those statues may not have been shown in the pictures that were available to me.”

AFTER SEX: Here’s a clip from a movie with Mila Kunis and Zoe Saldana. And it’s about girl-on-girl action and I think you’ll like it.

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2672 articles for us.

26 Comments

  1. Considering that lesbians can have multiple orgasms with a partner all night long, I would imagine that would constitute sex. Most lesbians know where the clitoris and the G-Spot are, and if we don’t know, our partners are usually not embarrassed to let us know what they need to be satisfied. We are not too proud to have wonderful, loving sex for hours, and then bring out the sensual toys and have 2 or 3 more full-blowing orgasms before falling into a peaceful sleep.

    On the other hand, I’ve had many conversations with straight women who have told me that their male partners have no idea where their clitoris is, and if they hit the G-spot it is usually by accident. After these guys have their own orgasm, they are snoring away while their female partners are laying in the bed, wide awake and unsatisfied.

    Not all men are so uncaring. Many know that there is more to sex than a penis, and that foreplay is really important to many women. Being really with someone sensually can be more than just getting off; it can be incredibly erotic and enjoyable for both women and men, whether they are lesbian, bisexual or straight.

    Wouldn’t it be great if everyone could openly communicate about what they need to be sensually satisfied? More people would be smiling, and the world would be a better place : )

    Tracey
    Co-Author of:
    “Lesbian Sex Tips: A Guide for Anyone Who Wants
    To Bring Pleasure to the Woman She (Or He) Loves”
    “Over 100 Sensual Positions from the Kama Sutra”
    “The Lesbian Big O: Over 100 Sensual Illustrations”

    • Jen Sincero has a book called “the straight girl’s guide to sleeping with chicks,” and even though the title/concept is kinda problematic, she maks a lot of really good points about how having sex with women has made her also a better lover to men. Without the straightforward penis-enters-vagina model, she found that women get a lot more creative and exciting in bed, and that kind of exploratory thinking made her a more inventive heterosexual lover too.

      go team lesbian sex!

  2. So I read this post this morning before I went out for a drive around upstate Connecticut. Then this afternoon in a tiny town named Kent, who should I run into but Seth McFarland and Mila Kunis, looking for Apple Cider.

    No i’m not kidding, yes I felt incredibly awkward considering what I had watched this morning, and yes she’s ridiculously beautiful and nice in person.

  3. Last week I had a conversation with an intoxicated male “professional” comic, which is by definition the most chauvinistic segment of the population, who kept asking if I get bored by just doing “one thing”. He couldn’t fathom the reality that there are lots of things girls can do to/with each other. Our bag of tricks isn’t limited to oral sex. Ahg!

  4. I will never agree with the definition thta sex is just heterosexual intercourse. To my mind, sex is any number of combination of things (and doesn’t matter what amout of..) people of all stripes do together for achieving mutual sexual pleasure. From this point of view There’s absolutely nothing heterosexual couples can do that lesbians can’t.

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