Boobs on Your Tube: “The Flash” Finally Adds a Queer Woman to its Roster!

How’s it going distracting yourself from Tuesday’s impending midterm results by mainlining TV? Yeah, it’s hit or miss for us too! But maybe Boobs on Your Tube can help. This week Carmen recapped a complicated episode of Black Lightning, Valerie recapped a frustrating episode of Supergirl and a fun as heck episode of Legends of Tomorrow and Heather made a list of your favorite TV characters dressed up as your other favorite TV characters for Halloween. Here’s what else!


9-1-1 207: “Haunted”

Written by Natalie

I had high hopes for this episode: 9-1-1 always brings the crazy but a 9-1-1 Halloween episode? This was going to be great. Maybe we’d get something to top last season’s scariest episode, “Full Moon (Creepy AF)”, where a dude was wallking around EATING PEOPLE’S FACES FOR NO REASON AT ALL. I thought we’d get to see Ryan Murphy at his Ryan Murphy-iest and I was ready!

But that’s not at all what we got, not even close; instead, we got the most introspective episode of the show to date. It’s like, instead of doing a Halloween episode, Ryan Murphy decided to use this week’s episode to prove that he could write a tearjerker like This Is Us if he wanted to. Okay, Ryan, we get it: you contain multitudes.

Hen’s not exempt from the parade of sadness this week: after suffering a stroke, her father is dying. Hen hasn’t talked to her father since she was nine but he still walks around with her contact information in his wallet. She walks into his hospital room and knows — she’s seen this before — that the machines around her are keeping him alive. The hospital needs to know if Hen wants to continue life-sustaining care or if she wants to withdraw life support.

Later, Hen laments to Chim that she’s been forced to make a life-and-death decision for a virtual stranger. Chim reminds her that that’s basically what she does everyday but, as Hen points out, those people didn’t abandon her as a child. Given the prognosis, Chim wonders if there’s really anything to decide but Hen’s holding onto hope. After work, Hen and Karen stop by her father’s house, in search of a living will. They don’t find one but they do find an old newspaper clipping: an article that highlighted Hen’s work as a paramedic. Apparently, her father’s been holding onto something too.

“I think a part of me is hoping that he’ll wake up so that I can meet him, finally. I never even let myself imagine who this man was all these years,” Hen tearfully confesses. Athena urges Hen to take comfort in what she’s learned about her father since the hospital called: he was a man haunted by his own demons but reaching for his better angels.

Back at work, the team’s called to the scene of a Halloween party gone awry. The casualty? City Slicker, a police horse who got spooked by all the festivities. The horse is critically injured and putting him down is the kindest thing the team can do. Hen tries but she can’t do it so she passes the needle off to Bobby. RIP City Slicker, we hardly knew ye.

Worst. Halloween. Episode Ever.

Afterwards, Hen returns to the hospital and shares a long goodbye with the father she never knew. She lets go of her anger and, with his hand in hers, she lets go of him.


How to Get Away With Murder 506: “We Can Find Him”

Written by Natalie

It’s been two weeks since our last in-depth check-in with How to Get Away With Murder and I’m sad to report that we have not yet been gifted with the Tegan and Annalise hook-up that we’ve been anticipating. I know that there are people out there who enjoy a slow burn — trust me, I’ve read your fanfic — and, usually, I’d count myself among you…but with just two episodes until the fall finale, I’m starting to get a little worried that Pete Nowalk is just playing with my emotions.

As with last week, there was no Tegan and Annalise interaction in this episode…which, I mean, how are they supposed to makeout if they’re not even sharing scenes together? But Annalise remains a topic of conversation around Caplan & Gold when news that she’s considering a job offer from the Governor (it’s Kerry Weaver from ER!) starts to get around. Tegan insists that Emmett do everything he can to keep Annalise at the firm; it’s quite the change from when Emmett first offered Annalise a job and Tegan begged her not to take it.

Wait, did I just drop the L-word?

“I also know what she wants — it’s what we all want — to be wanted,” Tegan explains. “So beg her to stay even if that means getting down on your hands and knees, ’cause that woman’s not gonna stand for anything less. And honestly, I kind of love her for that.”

Sure, I suppose, on the one hand, you could hear those words and think, “wow, here’s someone who has immense respect for her badass colleague,” and that’s fair. Game recognizes game and Tegan respects Annalise for being a true “boss bitch.” But, on the other hand, the wording feels a bit more intimate than you’d hear when one colleague talks about another, doesn’t it? I kind of love her for that? That feels like a step beyond respecting your co-worker. #JustSayin

I don’t want to get too deep in the weeds on this job offer but let me just say: it feels out of character for Annalise to not have been more skeptical, from the outset, about Kerry Weaver’s job offer. I mean, at the very least, I expected her to get Oliver to hack her phone and e-mails to get some insight. A Republican governor, who’s been blackballing Annalise at every firm in Pennsylvania, suddenly has a “come to Jesus” moment on criminal justice reform? I don’t buy it and I don’t buy that Annalise would buy it either. But, apparently, Pete Nowalk does because, after securing budget commitments and a pardon for Nate’s father, Annalise agrees to take the job.

Annalise is barely allowed a few moments to celebrate the victory when she finds out that Nate’s father’s been killed. All those years in prison and he escapes relatively unscathed…but the moment he’s about to get out, Nate Sr. is attacked?! I knew Kerry Weaver was up to no good.

“Maybe you’re the one who wants to get in her pants.” “I would never steal her away from you.”

The real impediment to the Annalise/Tegan hook-up, though, is still Michaela who continues to work overtime to worm her way back into her former mentor’s good graces. Michaela is so thirsty, in fact, that she lets Laurel embarrass herself in front of Tegan just so she can step in and clean it up. Laurel chastises Michaela for hanging her out to dry and correctly diagnoses the situation: “you’ll do anything to impress [Tegan] because you’re in love with her.” Michaela doesn’t deny it, she just shifts in her seat, as one does when they’ve been told an uncomfortable truth about themselves.

Later, Laurel explains the legal strategy she’s come up with for their client and Tegan’s impressed. She’s even more impressed when she finds out Michaela helped Laurel without rushing to get the credit. Tegan’s wanted Michaela to do the hard work of lawyering and she’s finally doing it…and you can see Tegan softening towards her because of it.

If I wasn’t worried that Michaela was going to thwart my Annalise/Tegan hook-up before, I certainly am now.


The Flash 504: “News Flash”

Written by Valerie Anne

It has finally happened! The Flash gave us a queer woman! And of course, OF COURSE, she’s played by Jessica Parker Kennedy. Our beloved Max from Black Sails, JPK once again is a lovely little lady-lovin’ lady. And a speedster at that!

I’m pretty sure JPK is practicing Bianca Lawson’s special brand of witchcraft.

And the way she came out to us (and her parents, Barry and Iris) was so subtle and fun. The first time she hints at it, Nora is talking about a journalist, who happens to be her mother’s main competitor in the city. Having mommy issues Lena Luthor would empathize with, Nora goes on about how great and cute this other journalist, Spencer, is. Iris is like, “Sure she’s cute, but…” and changes the subject, so I wasn’t sure if she caught this, if her gaydar was all flashing lights and bells like mine was.

Eventually they come to suspect Spencer of being their baddy-of-the-week, thinking she’s controlling metahumans, so Barry and Iris send Nora in to secretly test to see if Spencer is a meta herself, while her parents listen from a van outside. When Nora runs into Spencer, however, she doesn’t immediately do the test. Instead she smiles and dips her head and blushes when Spencer calls her cute. Barry is confused, but Iris is decidedly not. She says, “She’s flirting with our daughter,” in a firm way and storms out of the van. You can see the puzzle pieces click in Barry’s head, relatively slowly for the fastest man on earth, and then he kind of half-smiles and says, “huh!” It was pretty cute, actually. Like he hadn’t considered her sexuality either way, but isn’t necessarily surprised, and definitely isn’t upset. Just a new fun fact he learned about his daughter who he is still getting to know.

After Iris interrupts the flirting in a way that is impressively motherly considering she’s only known Nora for like a week, she snaps at Nora that she doesn’t care that Nora thinks Spencer is cute, she cares that Nora is flirting with danger. Literally. Spencer might be evil, this is no time for emotional attachments. So in one fell swoop, Nora came out to us and to her parents, to no great fanfare. It’s a trend I’ve been seeing on TV lately (characters coming to us fully out, the audience and others finding out in a casual way) and I’m really into it.

It turns out Spencer had been using a phone imbued with the same stuff that gives metahumans their powers to control metahumans for a better story. Every headline she wrote came true, even the one she wrote about XS (Nora’s speedster identity) killing The Flash. Luckily they stopped Spencer before Nora committed patricide, but needless to say I don’t think there’s a first day in the books for those two.

But! I think Nora will be around for a hot second, so hopefully she finds someone new to flirt with soon. Congrats to Flash for joining their fellow CW shows, almost all of which have a main or recurring queer character. Dare to defy, indeed!


Quick Hits

The Young and the Restless

I got you babe

A year ago, Mariah Copeland admitted that she had feelings, beyond friendship, for Tessa and, though the path to get here has been circuitous, they’re together this Halloween, doing all the couple-y things that people do this time of year. Visit to the town pumpkin patch? Check. Carving jack-o-lanterns? Check. Wearing matching costumes to parties? Check.

And while I should be thrilled about all this — Mariah said she loved Tessa for the first time (kinda) and they were extra adorable — something awful also happened…something that foretells doom for every single couple on television that’s ever done it…the girls got matching tattoos! I know it’s Halloween but did the show have to curse our girls like that? — Natalie


Station 19 205: “Do A Little Harm…”

Game on

Word gets out at Station 19 that Maya’s applied to become a lieutenant. Andy’s shocked because Maya never told her she was applying, while Jack feels threatened: he’s not about to let Maya take his spot. Usually, this is where I’d make a joke about the straight white guy feeling threatened by a woman asserting herself, but Jack hasn’t been himself since the fire and his reaction to Maya feels more about that than him being misogynistic in any way.

The pair turn a joint training with Seattle PD into a friendly competition, both of them vying for the affections of a female officer. Vic sets up a pool: Ryan and Dean both bet on Maya, while Vic and Travis bet on Jack’s silky hair. The flirting doesn’t go over well with the station’s new captain, Robert Sullivan, who comes over and reams Maya out for not taking the exercise seriously enough. Andy steps in and defends her best friend, “Don’t kick Bishop around, not when she doesn’t deserve it, not when she’s one of the very best people you’ve got, and you have no business making it look otherwise.”

Andy’s not going to get away with talking to her commanding officer like that, but her defense is enough to compel Maya to apologize for not telling her about the lieutenant’s application sooner. They make amends in a way that, once again, has me lamenting that they’re not two sides of Station 19‘s love triangle.

Oh…and the lady officer? Turns out, she gave her number to Jack and Maya. — Natalie


Legacies 102: “Some People Just Want to Watch the World Burn”

tfw you were playing the tough cookie and then realized how close you were standing to your ex

Legacies continues to be witchy and Josie’s evil ex-girlfriend, Penelope, continues to be devilishly fun. She just kind of lurks in the background waiting to jump in and whisper bad ideas into people’s ear. Also she’s generally unfazed by the goings-on of last week because she’s rocking the short hairdo Josie’s exploits forced her to get. It’s still unclear if Penelope is trying to get Josie back or get back at Josie, but I have a feeling it’ll be real fun to keep an eye on her all season. She’s like Cheryl Blossom, but subtle, if you can imagine such a thing. — Valerie Anne


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 403: “I’m On My Own Path”

Hey, Beth came back! She just popped in for a moment, because they planned Heather and Hector’s wedding ceremony. But she was around long enough to confirm her and Valencia are still dating and still in business together, so I’m sure we’ll see more of her eventually. — Valerie Anne


Charmed 103: “Sweet Tooth”

Greetings from Florida, where I’m working my cute little booty off to make Andrew Gillum the state’s first black Governor!! Because I am still on the campaign trail, this message is going to be short (I’m literally typing it on my iPhone in the car with campaign flyers stuck between my legs!). I wanted all of you to know that Sunday’s Charmed was once again super gay!

Mel is upset because she can’t share the secret her witchy powers with Niko and it’s really bumming her out! No one else seems to understand it, but as she explains to their Whitelighter — her mother always accepted her for being gay, growing up she never had to worry about being in the closet. It was the greatest gift her Mom ever gave her. Now that she’s a  a witch, the closet is all she knows.

It’s a beautiful monologue and Melonie Diaz nails it. I hope you all got the chance to see it! And I promise that next week, when I’m back home and have finally slept for 8 hours, we will have a huge Charmed catch up with all the details of what we missed!

Carmen


Madam Secretary 504: ”Requiem”

Forever on Team #BisexualBadass

Hello! It’s me again! Kat Sandoval finally made her glorious return to Madam Secretary and in her first episode she got to stare a racist white male Senator dead in his eyes and threaten him!

When he asked her who did she think she was, threatening him like that, she stood up and squared her tie: “I’m a queer Latinx woman, your worst nightmare.”

And I can’t tell you anything that happens after that, I fainted due to all the badassery! — Carmen


Doctor Who 1101-1104

At this moment in time I am unable to wrap my heart around what Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor means to me (and I hope to have some women and non-binary sci-fi nerds of color to write about those specifics in the coming weeks), but for now I just want to quickly update you and tell you that I believe Yaz is bisexual. This week, in “Arachnids in the UK,” Yaz’s mom first asks if she and the Doctor are seeing each other. (To which the Doctor responds, “I don’t think so. Are we?”) And then later her mom asks if she’s seeing Ryan. Yaz says no to both, but in the way that makes it pretty clear gender’s not a factor in her dating life. So, that’s bisexual! Also there’ve just been so many casual queer women this season. “The Ghost Monument”‘s guest character was a Mad Max-ish lesbian space racer whose wife was killed by the same fuckers who killed Grace in “The Woman Who Fell to Earth.” In this week’s episode, in addition to the bi stuff, Chris Noth’s assistance is his niece’s wife. I suggest one to two entire boxes of tissues for the Rosa Parks episode if you haven’t caught up yet. There are so many ways that episode could have gone wrong, and it wasn’t perfect, but it got a whole lot right. — Heather

The Autostraddle TV Team is made up of Riese Bernard, Carmen Phillips, Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, Valerie Anne, Natalie, Drew Gregory, and Heather Hogan. Follow them on Twitter!

The TV has written 100 articles for us.

22 Comments

    • Waaaah! I’ve been getting pictures and updates from my clexa-con life-lines all day (a bunch of my friends went, but I couldn’t join because I had an important work assignment… so they are doing what all good con-going lesbians with unfortunate friends do and are letting me participate vicariously). Did you do the bus tour today? Anyway… have fun and continue showing people the delightful importance of Autostraddle’s Boobs on your Tube column. 🙂

  1. I love Charmed so much! The pilot was rough but I still connected to the girls, and the last two episodes have been amazing. I love Mel so much, and she and Niko are such a cute couple. Maisie’s storyline from this week kind of broke my heart, but it made a lot of sense.

    And of course I’m excited about JPK playing queer again. She’s such a good actress! Nora is adorable.

    • I got chills and goosebumps during that scene where Mel talks to Harry about never having to be in the closet and hiding who she was from the people she loved. Such a powerful scene that should be rewatched and many times on youtube.

      Macy’s story broke my heart too and I am so glad her sisters were there for her. I love them

  2. Permit me to fangirl a little.

    I don’t think it has been appreciated yet how much Charmed means to the lesbian community. Watching the show for the past 3 weeks and i couldn’t pinpoint what made me so happy about it. Then it finally hit me.

    Correct me if I’m wrong but Charmed is one of the very first broadcast shows and one of the very few tv shows in general with a lesbian lead character. I mean the main lead character is a lesbian from the get go and it is shown. We’ve had lead characters who are bi but they started out on screen with relations with men and in later seasons introduced their relations with women like HTGAWM, The 100,etc. All still valid. But here in Charmed we have a lesbian lead character on broadcast. She’s even the main sister with the most focus and screentime just like Prue was in the OG Charmed. Melonie Diaz gets credited first in the credits. And the character is a lesbian, with a relationship already established from the get go. This is huge and this is groundbreaking. How many shows on broadcast can say they have done that? With a lead character. The closest we have is Anissa on Black Lightning but it is arguable because Jefferson is the lead and titular character.
    If we are to mention shows on broadcast to have done that, we are gonna spend some time thinking and checking records. And even in TV generally, asides from The L Word, The Fosters and a few, we still don’t have much we can pinpoint to.

    Charmed is a big win & gift and I don’t think I’ll stop talking about it anytime soon.

    Thanks for reading this far.

    • Ahh, I totally agree. Charmed is my top show to watch every week because of it, it really makes a big difference having a character like Mel as a lead. I also love Macy. And Maggie. Ok, I love them all. And Nico’s such a qt.

  3. Natalie, I have to say I’m actively rooting against your ship. I’m shipping Tegan and Michael now. I just don’t think Tegan and Annaliese have sexual chemistry. Michael and Tegan have tons of it. lol!

    The FLASH: Anybody else finds it funny Nora was attracted to a woman that basically was the unscrupulous version of her mother, Iris.

    And if Nora hooks up with anyone, it will be funny to me only because technically she hasn’t been born yet.

  4. “it feels out of character for Annalise to not have been more skeptical, from the outset, about Kerry Weaver’s job offer.” I agree. Annalise is many things but stupid or naive is not one of them. And don’t get me started on her speech: “This job has the power to help me do something right and good. It’s bigger then you, me, this firm.” Well, it’s also bigger than Nate Lahey Sr. and his son. What about the other plaintiffs in her class action suit? She knows Caplan & Gold is the only firm willing to hire her and support her class action suit and even underwrite her clinic. She knows she needs money and a firm with means to retry her class action cases but she choose the believe the evil governor? I don’t buy it either.

  5. I really needed to come here and rant about this weeks Greys. It had no lesbian content per se but let me explain.

    1st Tracy Thoms showed up on screen with Jessica Collins and right away I was like oh, they’re girlfriends but then they immediately squashed that theory by saying they were best friends. Throughout the story I really felt that one or both girls were going to declare their love but alas they were just best friends in the end.
    That was disappointing but not infuriating.

    The infuriating story came toward the end with Glasses and the new Toy Soldier ortho doc. I say Toy Soldier because he is wooden, monotone and lacks any personality.

    I know why am I upset about the gay storyline on a lesbian site well here is a little back story. Toy Soldier has been flirting with Glasses for a few episodes making Glasses wonder if he could be gay or bi. Last week he decided to maybe go for something with Toy Soldier with the encouragement of Hellmouth but was shot down disappointed.

    This week Glasses was on Ortho rotation and after a ‘win’ on the case they were working on…Toy Soldier cornered glasses in the elevator they kissed just like Calzona did post breakup. Then Glasses had his gay revelation comparing Ortho vs. General just like Erica Hahn’s glasses (no relation) awakening and then Toy Soldier squashed everything by giving his I don’t like to deal with Baby Gays speech just like Arizona after the bar bathroom kiss.

    This is what infuriated me. I mean after 15 seasons we know that Greys can’t be original anymore but in a post episode interview Krista Vernoff was so proud that they get to explore this coming out process (side note the actor who playes Glasses Jake Borelli also came out after this episode aired).
    Like WTF! you had 10 years to tell a proper lesbian story with 2 regular cast members and now you feel like telling it with a random intern and a newbie who are recurring?!

    NOT TO MENTION you have Helm who you’ve already established last season as a lesbian so why not use her? What will she just help Glasses navigate the LGBTQ+ world? Where does she go from here?

    • Also, can Grey’s show us a representation of a confident-in-their-identity gay person being okay with dating a baby gay/bi? Instead we’ve got two out of two rejecting the baby gay on that basis alone. We are not all like that…

      • Re: Helm they just have her pining over Meredith which will never happen and not just because she’s straight but because she is a senior member of staff, owner of the hospital, widowed mother of 3.

    • Grey’s Anatomy has never had a gay/bisexual male doctor on the show in 15 seasons. So that’s original.

      And one of them is an Asian man who is seen as desirable and sexy and not a sex-less robot.

      I’m not thrilled with how they’re doing it cause it’s gonna get no where the attention and depth that the other romances on the show have gotten cause they’re perifery characters. We’ll see if they even get a sex scene.

  6. At the end of this week’s Who, when Yaz decides she’s coming with the Doctor because she’s amazing, there were definitely hearts in eyes. And they posted a pic of it on the official instagram, with lots of people saying it was a ship (of course, there were idiots complaining, but whatevs!).

    And the Doctor also says she’s been a sister, as well as having sisters!

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