Hey, that Jane the Virgin finale was bonkers, huh? We’re going to have a TV Team roundtable about it on Monday but mostly about all our Jetra feelings from the season! (But feel free to start talking about it here!)
Natalie and Carmen chatted about the legacy of Scandal.
Carmen recapped the season one Black Lightning finale.
Valerie Anne recapped Supergirl‘s return.
Kayla recapped Riverdale‘s musical episode.
And Valerie Anne shared some feelings about how Legends of Tomorrow became one of the best queer shows on TV.
Here’s what else!
The Good Fight 207: “Day 450”
Written by Natalie
In The Good Fight universe, it’s been a little over a month since we last saw Maia and Amy…a little over a month since Amy took the stand for the prosecution and implicated her girlfriend in her father’s Ponzi scheme…a little over a month since Amy acknowledged that she said no to Maia’s marriage proposal because she thought Maia was only asking to establish spousal privilege between them…a little over a month since they went to bed, angry, with a break-up looming. Thirty-five days later, we find the couple in a bar, kissing, and talking about getting married. Maia and Amy are fine. Despite the fact that Amy’s been away for a few weeks, they’ve solved whatever issues they had between them and are now looking at a Spring wedding.
As I noted last week, it’s hard to invest in Maia and Amy’s relationship because it’s featured on the show so infrequently, but it’s damn near impossible to imagine this kind of reconcillation taking place in the timeline the show’s afforded it. Thirty five days, minus the few weeks that Amy was out of town, to reconcile with your girlfriend who tried to send you to prison? I mean, I know lesbians are good at processing but, c’mon, this is totally implausible…and, it makes the rest of Maia’s storyline in this episode mind-numbingly predictable.
At work, Maia meets Carine Minter, who’s visiting the firm on behalf of the Democratic Party, auditioning Reddick-Boseman to prosecute an impeachment trial against Trump, should the party prove successful in November. Maia and Carine have instant chemistry and bond over their mutual membership in the “damaged offspring club.” Later, the pair meet again — Marissa invites them both to go dancing with her and her new beau (Amy was also invited but declined) — and sparks fly between them on the dance floor. It’s as loose and as free as we’ve ever seen Maia and it scares her just enough to send her out of the club to catch an Uber home.
But when temptation follows Maia outside, she kisses her and before Maia can apologize for her impulsiveness, Carine kisses her back. The pair make out in the back of the Uber and when Carine’s boss calls her back to the firm to pack up their materials, they keep the party going in the Reddick-Boseman conference room. Only thing? The cameras that the Democratic Party installed to monitor the firm’s impeachment audition were still rolling.
This is usually the part when I’d talk about how terrible it is to cheat and how I’m tired of this trope being used with lesbian couples on TV — both of those things are invariably true — but I also have to admit: I don’t feel the least bit sympathetic towards Amy. And, whenever the show decides to deigns to show Maia and Amy again, if Maia’s expresses even the least bit of guilt for having cheated, I’ll ask, “why?!” Cheating is bad; cheating on the girlfriend who sided with the guys who wanted to send you to prison for a crime you didn’t commit without so much as a warning? Eh, I can’t really get my dander up about it.
I’ve always considered myself an Eden Riegel purist but, sure enough, when Carine first approached Maia in the office, I thought, “why is Bianca Montgomery flirting with her?” One IMDB search later, I realized that the actress wasn’t Bianca circa 2010 (Christina Bennett Lind) but her identical twin sister, Heather.
What are the chances that video tape never becomes an issue? Slim? None? UGH. #donotwant
As usual, I loved Lucca’s scenes this week…particularly her scenes with Marshall Lock and the discussion with the partners about him. What a great way to demonstrate just some of the microaggressions a black, pregnant woman like Lucca would encounter.
Also, you must see this…you must.
Jane the Virgin Episode 417: “Chapter Eighty-One”
Written by Valerie Anne
I know Rose and Luisa is the greatest love story ever told, according to the Narrator, and I will love them forever and want them to come back to me every week until the series comes to a close, but Petra and JR are giving them a real run for their money. I mean, last week, JR got DISBARRED for Petra. This hard-hitting, all-business, serious af lawyer gave it ALL UP to save her girl from going to jail for a crime she didn’t believe she committed.
In this week’s epic finale (which the Autostraddle TV Writers will discuss via roundtable next week), we first see them snuggling in bed.
Petra asks her to move in all nonchalantly while JR tries to find a job and JR says no, but it’s not because she doesn’t want to. It’s because she LOVES PETRA. She says so! And so, if she ever moves in, she wants it to be because Petra loves her, too. And until then, she’ll wait.
While this is going on, Rafael goes to see Rose because she demanded it, and so he goes to prison, where Rose has info for Rafael and a wicked grin.
She will give Rafael this info in exchange for Luisa’s location. She just wants to get her girl back! And she will not stop until she does.
Back at the hotel, Petra tells JR that she does indeed love her too and so they decide she’ll move in for real.
When Petra leaves for Jane’s party, JR asks to stay home (home!) with the girls, because she hates Jane more than she hates kids. JR plays dress-up with the girls and realizes that Petra lied to her about her broken shoe, meaning Petra’s mother wasn’t lying, and JR got disbarred for her guilty girlfriend. Petra insists it was because Anezka threatened her children, and that it was just a mother-bear instinct, but JR is BEYOND PISSED and storms out, saying she never wants to see Petra again.
But when she gets to the lobby, JR gets a phone call from Krishna, who says she wasn’t really the blackmailer, that the blackmailer blackmailed her into saying she was the blackmailer, and also to give up some of Petra’s security codes. She’s worried Petra is going to be killed, so JR rushes back upstairs and storms in just in time to save Petra from being shot by a mystery person. Based on Petra’s reaction, it was definitely someone she knew, and based on JR’s face when she stepped back, gun in hand, it’s definitely a shot person now.
(Also, the whole punchline of this story arc is #JRShotWho which is freaking hilarious and I don’t know what would be funnier, if the writers knew this would happen so they named her JR to make this joke, or if they named her JR then decided to have her shoot someone by season’s end so they could make this joke.)
Siren 105: “Curse of the Starving Class”
Written by Valerie Anne
At last year’s New York Comic Con, Freeform set up a promo spot, complete with a tank that contained A MERMAID. What I thought was a screen from afar turned out to be a literal tank with an actual creature in it. And it wasn’t a red-headed ingenue brushing her hair with a fork. It was A MURDER MERMAID with wIld eyes and bared teeth. And that is when I knew I would be watching the show Siren.
I’m not sure what I expected. I couldn’t imagine what a show about murder mermaids would look like. And honestly, I’m still not sure. But I CAN tell you I’m hooked, because the first thing the mermaid did on dry land is murder an asshole who tried to assault her, and the most recent thing the mermaid did on dry land was kiss a girl on the mouth.
Let me back up a little. Siren is a show about mermaids who can shed their tails and walk on land for a while. It is also about two marine biologists, Maddie and Ben, who befriend one of these creatures when she is forced to come on land because her sister is captured by humans for scientific experiments when they had to come near the surface for food because humans over-fished.
Our main mermaid goes by Ryn, and she’s strong and smart, learning the human language quickly with the help of Ben and Maddie. Also, forget that you know the difference between a siren and a mermaid, because on this show they are the same. Ryn and her sister can emit a siren song and cause people to be a bit bewitched, bothered and bewildered.
Maddie isn’t under Ryn’s spell, yet is still enraptured by her. Maddie and Ben are dating, but Ryn is constantly running her hand over both of them, studying them. One night she she crawled in bed between them. And Maddie and Ben are fascinated by her right back.
In the most recent episode, a month had passed since Maddie and Ben had seen the mermaids, but Ryn and her sister ran out of food so they came back for help. One afternoon, when Maddie was getting ready to go out, Maddie explains the terms for family and love, and Ryn calls HER love. Ryn tells Maddie she missed her, and Maddie returns the sentiment. Ryn gets up and runs her hands down Maddie’s dress, stands close to her, then kisses her.
When they separate, Maddie looks stunned but not displeased. Ryn casually says, “Bye bye” and Maddie smiles and leaves.
I don’t know where this is going! I’m fascinated by the mermaid lore. Everything is very hilariously dramatic in that Freeform kind of way and there are a LOT of dudes and dead fish, but there’s also a queer mermaid kissing a badass woc scientist, so I’m into it, and will continue to keep you apprised of the murder mermaid lady love situation.
Once Upon A time 718: “The Guardian”
Written by Carmen
Do you remember the Alice’s giant troll from Alice and Robin’s meet cute episode? The one she imagined into real life? I forgot to mention this earlier, but the troll followed the couple to Seattle. He’s repurposed as the sculpture in Seattle’s famous Freemont Troll Bridge.
When Tilly was homeless, she spent a lot of nights sleeping at the troll sculpture’s feet. She feels connected to him even though she can’t quite place why. She’s no longer on the streets, but she still visits often. And that is where Margot finds her this week, drawing a sketch of the couple’s pet troll that they don’t even remember is theirs. Margot asks Tilly out on their first official date. She even put on extra lipgloss for the occasion!
In the Enchanted Forest flashback, Rumplestilskin’s looking for “The Guardian”. The Guardian will be strong enough to hold the power of the Dark One, but have the purity of heart not to succumb to it. If Rumple can find that person he can finally let go of the Dark One, die, and be reunited with Belle. Rumple thinks that Alice might be the one. When he goes to spy on her, he sees her with Robin.
Robin’s giving Alice one of those bright multi-colored friendship bracelets — you know, like the ones you spent hours knitting together out of thread and beads when you were 11 years old? Alice gifts her in return with the backwards ticking pocket watch from Wonderland. Robin becomes bashful. She’s in awe of Alice’s many adventures, traveling between realms.
These two!! They are all bright heart eyes and big smiles and romantic music and rosy cheeks! I just keep wanting to go “awwwww” and scoop them up in my pocket for safe keeping!
Rumplestilskin convinces Alice to completing a dark test, to find out if she is The Guardian. She is, indeed! Alice forgives Rumple for his cruelty towards her. She empathizes what it must mean to lose your true love. Robin is the first person to ever see good in her. She wouldn’t trade her for the entire world.
She takes the Dark One’s dagger, and all of Rumple’s darkness is pulled out him in inky black ropes. He’s finally free. But, Alice is transfixed in the darkness. Rumple realizes that Alice is not deserving of this burden. He breaks the bond, becoming the Dark One once more. He wants Alice to have a real life with Robin, growing old together in love.
Margot and Tilly spend their date eating candy apples coated in sprinkles, and visiting bookstores. Tilly loves bookstores! From there, you can go anywhere! She muses to Margot, “I know it sounds crazy, but when your world is small — you do anything you can to make it bigger!” Margot understands. She shows Tilly her collection of friendship bracelets, different ones from all over the world.
Margot knows that Tilly is destined for great adventures one day. She can feel it. She gives Tilly a friendship bracelet, one of those bright multi-colored ones like the kind that Robin gave Alice in the Enchanted Forest.
The bracelet triggers more of Tilly’s memories of Alice, her brain starts buzzing louder and louder. She runs away from a very concerned Robin and into the night.
Tilly finds Detective Weaver (Rumplestilskin, but awoken from the curse in Seattle) at her troll bridge. She has the Dark One’s dagger in her backpack! But, she doesn’t know how it got there. The dagger found her. She’s destined to be The Guardian — to carry the burden — no matter what.
Tilly apologizes to Robin for skipping the end of their date. She really likes Robin. She doesn’t want her to see the worst parts of Tilly’s warped mind. Robin wraps the brightly colored friendship bracelet around Tilly’s wrist. She promises, there is no darkness that she cannot handle.
Grey’s Anatomy 1420: “Judgement Day”
Written by Carmen
This is episode 14.20 of Grey’s Anatomy. It aired on the eve of the beloved weed smoking and marijuana decriminalization holiday of April 20th, casually known as “420” (named after long rumored police code for drug possession). When the stars align so perfectly I’m sure you can all guess what that means? We’re all gettin’ high today!
Arizona’s reoccurring whacky lesbian hippie patients, Peggy and Dana (NOT Fairbanks) are back! They want to give Arizona a tin of homemade “Lesbian Gratitude Cookies” to thank her for exposing that fraudulent asshole doctor who convinced Dana she had cancer when she really didn’t. Of course, Arizona passes the lesbian gratitude cookies around the hospital — Karev, Andrew, Maggie, Bailey, Jackson, April, even Catherine Avery! Everybody’s getting in on that good cookie loving.
There’s only one problem. The lesbians used cannabis peanut butter in the cookies! As soon as they realize their mistake, they warn Arizona. It’s too late. Everyone’s already stoned out of their minds.
What follows is a comedy of errors that I’m certain is going down in The Grey’s Anatomy Hall of Fame. I wish I could recap all of it for you in explicit detail, but since we don’t have the time, I’m going to skip what made my heart sing:
A very high Arizona waxed poetic to Maggie Pierce about her first love: Calliope Iphigenia Torres.
THAT’S RIGHT WE HAD A CALLIE TORRES MENTION!! RIGHT OUT OF ARIZONA’S MOUTH!! WITH HER OWN WORDS!! ALERT!! ALERT!! Call the paramedics! That’s my heart on the floor!
Maggie’s never been high before, so Arizona locks them in a room with DeLuca (who’s heartbreakingly imagining that our dearly departed Sam Bello is laying on the floor next to him). Arizona tells her, “We just have to wait for it pass. Let’s just say whatever is in our heads. We’ll press play, and see what comes out”.
The first thing that comes out of Arizona? “I’d press fast forward on Carina, I think”.
That’s… not great. She breathes out deep. Arizona asked Carina to stay in the United States instead of going back to Italy. She’s worried; they haven’t even been dating for long! Who asks someone to give up their country for them?
Arizona goes on, reminiscing about how it feels right with Carina. How fun (and funny!) she is, how great their sex is. EXCEPT SHE DIDN’T SAY CARINA AT ALL. She said Callie. Callie is fun. Callie is funny. She loves sex with Callie. It’s Callie. Callie. Callie.
Maggie points out the slip, telling Arizona to press her rewind button. Arizona’s shocked! Why would she make that mix up? Then again, Carina’s a lot like Callie in some ways. They both drive Arizona crazy in love. Callie went away. She took Sofia and got on a plane and left. Minnick left. Everyone leaves.
Maybe Arizona holds on tightly to Carina because she’s scared of losing her, too. Carina heard about the weed cookies. She stayed to offer Arizona a ride home. Arizona’s so touched by her generosity, they make out right in the hospital. That’s two lesbian smooches in two weeks! Grey’s Anatomy is on a roll!
I called it! Harper Avery has turned out to be a Harvey Weinstein and now Grey Sloan will be caught up in a #MeToo fallout. With most shows, I’d be nervous about this. But, I have a lot of faith Grey’s. If Debbie Allen’s award season worthy monologue about Catherine’s role in the cover up is any indication, we are setting up for quite a journey.
Today in “is this how they are going to write off Arizona?”, I present to you a scoop from our friends over at TVLine: Geena Davis is slated to return as Dr. Nicole Herman in this season’s penultimate episode! Supposedly, “Dr. Herman pays a visit to Grey Sloan and talks to Arizona about an exciting opportunity”. I will take any excuse to have Dottie Hinson back on my screen.
While Arizona was contemplating her love life, an incredibly and adorably high Maggie Pierce writes a soliloquy of another sort: A love letter to cheese. Cheddar. String Cheese. Brie. Now this is a woman worth fighting for.
Critical Role All of Campaign Two
I probably will beg to write a longer thing about this eventually but Marisha Ray’s character Beau is super gay in this campaign (and they also met a non-binary soldier in the crown’s guard!) but the thing is technically no one has officially said it yet so basically I’m holding my action until it’s 200% undeniably official. However, in the last episode, they were choosing whether to go up or down a spiral staircase and Beau goes, “I’m always a fan of going down.” and I just thought you should know. — Valerie Anne
Station 19 106: “Stronger Together” and For The People 106: “Everybody’s a Superhero”
I’m quickly grouping these two shows together so that you can know this fun fact: This week queer women made out in three of the four Shondaland shows! Shonda Rhimes continues her reign as the patron saint of tv’s lady gays. In Station 19 the kissing women in question were the fire victims of the week (There was no fire. Just a sinkhole in the middle of the street.). One was in love with the other, but afraid to say it and ruin their friendship. Life threatening emergencies pull the fear out of people! And now the best friends get to be girlfriends and live happily ever after! I don’t really watch For the People , but Natalie informed our TV team that Kate Littlejohn (one of the show’s leads) made out with an ATF agent named Anya at a gun range. That’s enough for me to give the show a second try, how about you? — Carmen
The word’s out about Kate and Rana on the Cobbles, thanks to an impromptu visit from Rana’s parents and her sister-in-law. They catch the couple in the throes of passion and they’re all aghast. Alya chastises Rana for cheating on her brother and is shocked to discover that Zeedan already knew about the affair. Meanwhile, Rana’s father blasts her for welching on their deal and rejects her. Later, Rana’s mother returns and guilts her daughter in agreeing to accompany her to Pakistan to take care of Rana’s sick aunt. Only thing? There’s no sick aunt. Rana’s parents were trying to kidnap her to get her away from Kate, a plan Yasmeen sniffs out just in time to send the calvary — Zeedan, Kate, Yasmeen and Rana’s brother, Imran — to rescue Rana. Kate and Zeedan argue over who knows Rana best (she wins, natch) and Kate’s able to warn Rana before she can depart in the airport taxi. As her father shouts his disdain and disowns Rana, Imran interjects and makes him and Rana “elective orphans” by disowning both his parents.
Later, Rana’s despondent over what’s happened, struggling to wrap her head around the fact that her parents’ love for their only daughter has limits, but Kate pushes to get her out of the house. While the newly out couple is having a drink at the Rovers, Sophie — who just discovered that the woman she’d fallen for, Kate, had been carrying a torch for Rana — spots them together and dashes out, heartbroken.
While there were some great scenes in this week’s story — the scenes between Rana and Yasmeen (played by out actress, Shelley King) and Rana’s story about her childhood were highlights — everything just felt so rushed that I’m not sure the gravity of it all was felt. — Natalie